Is it my fault that I live with this darkness?

[Anonymous]

There is such a deep, bottomless darkness inside me that I cannot get rid of that darkness inside me. My mother left us at a young age. My father is an indifferent father who cries every day. I never had a boyfriend because no man was interested in me. No one told me I was beautiful because I wasn't attractive and beautiful like other girls. I know that I cannot be the most important and valuable person in anyone's life, that I am not valuable and special like other women, that I will always remain worthless and ugly, and that no man will consider me worthy of being a mother.

[Anonymous]

We can’t control what happened in our pasts but we can do better to define our qualities of life going forward. As an adult your defeatist mindset is now a choice because instead of self loathing you can take the steps to heal your trauma and grow yet you seem to choose not to. It has to be exhausting telling yourself every day how worthless, ugly and unlovable you are. If I were you I’d be fed up of feeling miserable all the time and ready to do something about it. You will never live a perfect life and pieces of your past will always be part of you but all that darkness doesn’t have to be your identity.

[Asker]

I am that darkness itself

[Opinion Owner]

You’ve told yourself this all your life, of course that’s what you believe and it’s a talking point you should want to unlearn.

[Asker]

Because it is true, I will never be able to walk on those bright paths, I will never be a special, valuable, beautiful and bright star like other women. Men are also aware of this, they know the difference between a diamond and a trash can, and no one prefers the trash can.

[Opinion Owner]

You should consider therapy fr.

[Asker]

The real therapy for a woman is the unrequited and eternal love of a man

[Opinion Owner]

Oh stop that, there’s more to life than men. Relationships are meant to be an extension of an already fulfilling life. You’ve got baggage to deal with that you should never want to bring into a new relationship anyway. You’re a broken person looking to be fixed by the love of a man, and that will lead to nothing but codependency and shame.

[Asker]

I will never be special and valuable like other women, right?

[Opinion Owner]

If that’s how you choose to identify yourself and live your life then yes, that’s what you will be. And please don’t come back with some sappy rebuttal because I’m not here for a pity party. I’m not here to stroke your hair and comfort you through all your bad thoughts about yourself and a man isn’t going to do that either. No man wants someone who constantly talks down on herself, has zero confidence and no self worth. Why would anyone want someone they have to feel sorry for and build their confidence with compliments all the time, otherwise they’ll feel ugly and unwanted? Because that’s the only kind of codependent girlfriend you are capable of being right now. You can’t love anyone when you don’t love yourself.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

A lot of our problems are self-caused, yes. This may be one such case. You haven’t learned how to properly cope with your trauma.

[chilldude33]

You gotta learn spirituality for higher perspective and practice some math and physics for objective thinking.

If your life problems were math equations, how would you solve them?

- "Well, math equations are dark and bottomless pit, and I don't think that anyone will see me as a special mathematician..."
- "Girl, what are you talking about? Are you going to apply the steps in the formula or?"

[aceleon]

İ don't. know about other Man, bulut you are indeed unworthy of motherhood not because you are not attractive as you claimed but because with a mindset like this you can never raise a functional adult.
You need help, you May not be a lunatic but you will end up be long your own disaster.

[Asker]

I will never be a mother, right?

[aceleon]

As long as you start to love yourself, although you can still be a progenitor you will never be an actual mother.

[Anonymous]

Don't think this way. Dont start looking for a person as it were the only gol of your life. You shall simply live your life, do what you like to do, stay with the people you like, cultivate your interests. If you do this way, there could be people that want to share their life with you.

[MrZameer]

Hey dear, be strong and be brave,
You can be loved one and most important person in someone's life for sure