Should sons also help out in the household if they're still living with their parents?

[Anonymous]

I'm 24 and doing my Master's while my younger brother is 20 years old. He hasn't enrolled in college yet and isn't even working.

He does absolutely nothing and yesterday I had an argument with my parents, after telling them that it's not my duty nor obligation waking him up for breakfast nor cleaning his room. We were upset that I've only made breakfast for myself, before stepping out to do several errands.

I find it unfair that he's not contributing to anything at all. If he's not even driving a car, working or studying, then helping out at home would be suitable. What bothers me is that if none of us are at home, he won't even make himself anything to eat. I don't think it's my parents obligation either. He's already a grown-up.

If I become a mother, I would treat both a son and daughter equally in regards to household chores and cooking. I feel both need to take care of themselves.

Updates

1 y

Another time, it was late at night. I was too tired from college and work and my brother woke up me expecting to get him something for dinner, I replied to him ''You have two hands and feet, make something yourself'' and went back to sleep.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Reminds me of this song called Alfie by Lily Allen.

He should absolutely be helping around the house and caring for himself. Waiting on him hand and foot is only going to prolong him actually becoming a useful and productive member of society. Stop doing things for him. Stand up to your parents for enabling it or tell them to do it themselves if they want to treat him like a child.

[Asker]

Wow, my brother is indeed very much alike that song. With the exception of smoking week, he's indeed wasting his life doing nothing but eating, playing video games too and sleeping.

[Stevepro68]

Humans being human. They aren't doing your brother any favors. Society judges women on how they look, men on what they do. But you love your children even when they are off up. So one way or another it goes where it goes.

[Asker]

Exactly. Though it's one thing to love your children but another to spoil them and enable negative lifestyles, bad qualities. Sadly the longer they keep coddling him, the longer he'll stay stuck as a manchild.

[Blunky]

My god, yes. Please stop releasing these old children into the world for the rest of us to deal with at work where they need their hand held through everything.

[Asker]

yeah I'm sick of that double standard some people like my parents still do, coddling the son so much and never teach him about household chores meanwhile the daughter is already filled with responsibilities from an early age. It should be equally for both.
If I become a mother one day and had a son, he would have equal household responsibilities too. He should be able to serve himself, take care of himself too.

[Blunky]

I forgot where I heard this from but it's one of my favorite quotes: "If you raise your children, you can spoil your grandchildren. If you spoil your children, you'll be raising your grandchildren".

[Shiprex]

Looking after himself should be an individual skill for everyone. Sounds like he hasn't found any motivation to be an adult yet. Depression or pampering could be at the root of this.

[Asker]

My parents have been coodling him way more than they did with me. They filled me with responsibilities from a younger age but didn't apply the same treatment with him. That made him grow up into a lazy, manchild.

[Asker]

I don't feel it's my duty to serve him. It would be understandable if he was a little kid and needed some help he's already a full grown-up that should be capable of taking care of himself and make his own breakfast, lunch and dinner.

[Asker]

they coddled him too much

[Shiprex]

No one should serve him. He shouldn't be fed if he doesn't contribute. Parents need to step up and if I were you I'd calmly say NOPE to supporting his "lifestyle" choice and mention that to them. He's a parasite.

[Asker]

Yeah he's exactly that, a parasite. Yet he expects to have a girlfriend anytime soon. How? With what qualities? Being lazy and doing nothing at all isn't going to get anyone a partner.

[Shiprex]

You're his sister. Wish him the best and make fun of his weaknesses in a kind way then maybe he'll wake tf up and quit his extension to his teenage life. Being confrontational about it won't help anyone. Be the big sister in this one.

[slatyb]

Do not feed him. He needs to take responsibility for himself. Your parents are doing him no favors by enabling him.

[Asker]

I'm not. The last time he tried to wake me up late at night (after coming home tired from work and classes) to make him dinner, I replied that he has two hands and feet, to make it himself... then went back to sleep.

[Ariesman81]

Daughters should look after the men of the house.

[Asker]

So he can't do anything in case of an emergency?

[Asker]

Plus he's not even working, driving nor going to college. He's not doing anything. All he does is eat and sleep. He's not contributing to anything. I'm not obligated to support him in his laziness.

[Ariesman81]

He should do something in case of emergency. That's his responsibility. I'm not saying it's fair, but it is traditionally how the family functions. Your father should be getting on your brother's ass if he's being a loaf. Talk to your father about your concerns surrounding your brother's laziness.

[Asker]

Now we're getting into something we can agree. I wouldn't mind serving him if he were coming exhausted from work and also contributes with home bills. That would make sense. But serving him when he's doing nothing but playing video games all day long, eating and sleeping; nope. That's not good. While it's traditional, it's useful when the man can serve himself in an emergency and no just rely on delivery.
I'll explained to my parents once again about all those concerns.

[zombiewoof]

Of course