Am I overreacting about this?

Question

I had my seventh open heart surgery this year. I was born with a congenital defect. Throughout that hospital stay, I experienced four cardiac arrests. Thankfully, my health significantly improved, and I am home now.
Except for my husband’s mom, I did not hear one thing from any of my husband’s family members. No text, card, or anything. It was like it never happened even though they were aware of everything. To be honest, I’m sort of hurt by that. I thought my second family would care or be a little more supportive. Am I overreacting for feeling like this?

alli-112 · Accepted Answer

Not super sure what the family dynamic is here, and that definitely matters. Have you tried (gently) asking your husband or mother-in-law what they think might have happened? I know I don't always keep up with issues beyond my nuclear family, even major ones, by I'm not sure if that's how y'alls dynamic is.

Genie23 · Accepted Answer

I'm SO sorry to hear that. You've gone through a lot since you were born. Having that many surgeries and surviving after experiencing 4 cardiac arrest. I'd be heartbroken and hurt and angry too that they didn't visit me... didn't even called me to give me support. You're not overreacting.

seeyounexttuesday · Accepted Answer

you are not over reacting. I would let them know you're disappointed that they didn't reach out to you. However, maybe they felt it was not their place to reach out and were letting you heal. I wouldn't assume malice.

strateguy632 · Accepted Answer

They feel it would be offensive to "dig" into your personal medical situation so they were passive. You are hurt due to expected them, to say something, but they felt it would be wrong to get involved.

Nikki1989 · Answer

If you really underwent your seventh open-heart surgery, and experienced four cardiac arrests. This is an incredibly life-threatening, traumatic, emotionally devastating experience. To go through something of that magnitude and not hear from people you consider “second family” is a significant emotional blow. You have every right to be upset.