Do you think adult friendships are overated?

[Puppystarfish23]

I have friends most I've made at work but I don't know if this is just me but the older I get I feel friendships are so overrated.

I have 2 older sisters who are very close in age to me and I've always felt like they are big reason I don't really seek friendships as we are extremely close and love spending time together. Yes we fight and bitch about each other but they are still my sisters and are love is unconditional and we just have learnt to accept each other over the years.

I understand not everyone has a good family life and friends become family to some people.

I just have very high standards and morals for myself and the people I let in. So if a friend tells me about her boy trouble etc I'm instantly judging in my head like I don't want to get involved in there drama and If there not gonna listen to my advice then I'm gonna get board eventually and get sick of it.

I have no friends who have things in common with me and it's a lot of commitment and money in it too. I'm 27 and married with a mortgage and a lot of my friends are single and still live with there parents they don't understand but I can't just afford to spend my day off on going out getting drunk and partying. I have bills and husband who I'd rather spend time with.

I'll always makes friends with a girl and will be best friends but then over time cracks start forming and there's things I start to not like about them and they stop making as much effort for me whilst I'm making effort with remembering birthdays and planning hangouts.

I'm abit of a loner and I prefer to be at home with my loved ones snuggled up with a book not worrying about a friends drama and having to check in on them or listen to them cry over the phone about the same thing for the 1000th time especially when it's a boy.

I kinda hate people sometimes and wish for a simpler life were I only have to be social every now and again.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"I understand not everyone has a good family life and friends become family to some people"

This ☝🏼

"So if a friend tells me about her boy trouble etc I'm instantly judging in my head"

I sometimes judge in first intent and I keep it for myself, I don't give advice unless solicited, I don't anticipate my advice to be useful or productive. I don't need my friends to follow whatever advice, it's their lives, not mine.

"I have no friends who have things in common with me"

I always have friends who have things in common with me.

"cracks start forming and there's things I start to not like about them and they stop making as much effort"

I don't experience it like this. There are things I don't like, which is okay with me.

"I prefer not worrying about a friends drama and having to check in on them or listen to them"

Either I don't experience much drama, or it seems to be drama that fit my tolerance level.

I say you described very well why friends are overrated for you, and if I needed it, I understand more why they aren't overrated to me lol

[Texasgal95]

No I think it’s good as an adult to have friends but you can go to for anything I think as you get older guys it’s the quality not quantity of friends that you have. I think as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realize that more but I’d rather have a few really good friends then a bunch of friends that aren’t gonna be there when I’m going through something tough

[ChooChooHaha]

Oh, yeah, especially when you're married.

You're lucky to have what you do. Like you said, not everyone does.

I like being on my own, meeting new people. I LOVE what I do for a living.

My longtime friends I now call sisters, cause we pretty much are at this point.

[RingOfFire]

It's your personality type. One type doesn't fit all. I've been a loner my whole life, so I understand it. But people usually don't understand me so it can be frustrating. It's not that I don't like people, it's just that I would prefer to be alone and I don't like the superficiality that comes with socialization. I just feel like it's a waste of time playing that silly game with people. It's not that I never want to be around people, but when I do I usually prefer one-on-one with some kind of substantive conversation. I just get bored very quickly with the usual superficial social interaction and it makes me uncomfortable.

[Puppystarfish23]

I 1000% agree but I'm very judgmental of others in certain ways, I will amit that. I don't care about looks or money but if my friend tells me something like they've cheated on there boyfriend or just act unlogical I'm like "oh that was a shame I thought I was actually gonna like you this time ". I just think so much of my generation are fucked up in head and I don't understand it.

I've always had my head fully screwed on even since childhood. I'm not saying everyone should live life the same as me but I don't understand why it's so hard for others to not make stupid life choices.

I just want a friend who normal and drama free

[RingOfFire]

I think a lot of it has to do with your age. As you get older I think you'll find people get wiser and the relationships become deeper and more drama free.

[Puppystarfish23]

I hope so. People were so mean in my home town and when I moved I met loads of people who I really liked and got on with and I'm actually considered popular now but it's not always something I feel comfortable with. Everyone wants my attention and time and I still have a lot of trust issues due to my home town.

I just want friends who don't do drugs, have self respect and don't cheat on there partners or do any of that toxic shit. I just want friends who I can vibe with who like a quiet drink, shopping for cute outfits etc

[Puppystarfish23]

Like I know reading this I probably sound like a bad friend but I'm actually the opposite. I'm extremely loyal, kind , supportive and always the friend my other friends call for advice and help.

I'm just so tired of it and sometimes feel like I'm in one sided friendships. I'm too tired for thr drama especially when my friends don't like each other or they don't listen to my advice

[RingOfFire]

I don't think you sound like a bad friend even for a minute. It sounds like you are selective in the people you choose to have his friends and I think that is wise. When you are friends with someone you make sacrifices for them and if you don't feel that they are willing to do the same for you the friendship cannot be rewarding.

[Lionman95]

No but I can understand why you think they are. For me adult friends are important as I don´t have a partner and my sister is though being close different in character. So to avoid being alone I have a decent circle of friends that is built on common activities and interests. I would rather say friends are more important to me now than they´ve been when I was young.

I would say as an adult friendship changes. One doesn´t spend every minute anymore with friends and friendships are no longer just built on common activities. I´m also not everybody´s darling and I´m not active in every of their issues but having friends is important to me.

[ohsheeT]

Yes and know every day we have change in our life's same with are friends or people we call friends. And people who call us friends

The older I get the more I like my Quiet time or my time to build things fix things and understand things


But I would also find that one friend that is special to me but the Opposite sex.

[SotiCoto]

I don't think it is a matter of age. People will drift apart with geographical or memetic distance.
I don't make friends easily, but I've always tried to keep a few friends because it is absolutely necessary to have some alternative perspectives and someone willing to help when things go bad. Plus willingness to help in return is important too.

[nastyb]

friendships are overrated because you have a husband. Lets see you lose your husband one day and you will understand why friendships are important.

Things are unimportant when you personally do not need them

[Puppystarfish23]

I have family though and I know if something was to happen I'd have them

[nastyb]

Your parents will die

Your siblings will get married and start families of their own as they get older

Or they will move away

And then you've also lost your husband

You have no one

[Cormac995]

I think they barely even exist at all anymore. I highly recommend everyone watches this.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/I19btmIBhx0

[MisterWack]

It would be nice ‘not to have adult friends’, though you can’t run and keep yourself fully sustained with no one in your life.

Adult friendships aren’t overrated, if it were then I don’t think anyone would have adult friendships.

[NathanDavis]

I think it makes no difference to me... I appreciate my friends very much... and as much today, as back when we were kids, teens, and younger...

I'm sure I'll want them as much when we become older and old

[dustybiker2]

Friendships require effort. You lose them when one of you stops putting in the effort or just plain caring. Not everyone can click for life, some people are just too different.

[exitseven]

No, my best friend died a year ago and I really miss him. Especially now that it was summer. I walk outside and I cna almost feel him next to me.

[Shiprex]

I can relate. It was 14 years ago my beat friend from when I was at school died to cancer. Wish he was still around especially now.
They're watching over us.

[exitseven]

@Shiprex It sucks, man.

[Shiprex]

Yes it does.

[FreyaRed]

No. Adult friendship just work with different rules where child friendships base on intuitional sympathy

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t think they’re overrated but I’m still a very young adult

[Chazmatazz269]

No. They’re more important than ever; just very challenging to build and maintain.

[MannMitAntworten]

For me, no. I have solid legitimate friends. In fact we mutually consider each other, family.

[Nikki1989]

No, not at all. I love all my friends.

[WonderingManII]

I didn't have friends in school, and now I have no friends.

[noohair]

Most people call someone a friend when they are only an acquaintance.

[Sabretooth]

I hope that you're not suggesting that I hook up with my MALE best friend...

[Puppystarfish23]

No when did I say that about you?

[Sabretooth]

mostly in jest to your question.

[Lilly1979]

If it's true friendship no I meaning this are friends 40 plus years.

[qwerty2469]

They are non existent. Most of my friends from childhood are dead amd the adults I meat are boring amd scared pussies.

[avery58]

No, when you find a good friend it's priceless.

[Pohjolan]

Real friendship isn't overrated.

[AfroSavannah]

No, they're not

[eagle1951]

yes and No