Why is my cousin asking for permission to stay at my brothers when it’s not my apartment why can’t she just message him directly?

[Anonymous]

I sometimes hate when my family travel as they always message expecting me to arrange things or do the work to ask permission

[jahaims]

Because you don't have boundaries so you're everyones bitch

[Asker]

Well I told her to message and she didn’t message back

[HollyK21]

Do you live with your brother?

[Asker]

No he lives in another country but she has met him before and has his Facebook

[HollyK21]

Got it. I was wondering if maybe she was asking you out of convenience if you lived there but tbh it doesn’t even sound like they’re close enough for her to stay with him, it comes off like she’s only met him. In which case I could see why she’s asking you — she isn’t comfortable doing it and I don’t understand why she’d want to do that in the first place. I agree she should either ask herself or get a room somewhere.

[Asker]

Yeah I know! Not sure why she would ask if that is the case she hasn’t spoke to him in 11 years and I included haven’t really spoke to her in a good 7 years simply because she lives in the USA and we don’t have much in common

[HollyK21]

11 years!😳 I’m surprised she’s trying to ask, this must be about saving/expenses. In any case I wouldn’t wanna be involved at any capacity if I were you. I wouldn’t be surprised if she were trying to essentially make you the host, aka the middle man. She’d likely expect you to orchestrate or partake in her entire trip just so that there’s no awkward moments with your brother. That’s not cool. I don't know if this is about finances but if she can’t afford the trip properly (aka having money for more than the basic expectations like travel and food) then she should take more time to save.