Why do people start so late to have a family?

[mrshooiser]

[Miristheiss]

Feminism, today's culture, birth control pills and IUDs. People stress that everyone must go to college, careers are the most important and drugs allow people to keep doing the child making act with non spouses and without getting kids out of it.

Keep in mind over the counter birth control drugs have only existed a few decades. The world was much harder and society was not full of soft office jobs in air conditioned offices at computers.

If people wanted to have sex they had to be ready to take care of kids and have families. They didn't get on a pill at 15 and start fucking everything in sight.

Most people lived on farms and had hard jobs. No fridges, electric ovens, washing machines, microwaves, freezers, dish washers, cheap pre-sowed clothes, air conditioners, furnaces, televisions, computers, internet, stores replete with every food under the sun.

Life was hard. Both sexes worked, sex made babies. Families started right away. People grew up fast.

Now people live at home until 25. Act like it is discrimination that women haven't been running businesses for 500 years and that air conditioned office jobs have always been around and that fucking multiple partners for decades with no kids has always been how things have been.

Kids used to help with work... now kids are lazy and soft just looking for fun all the time.

[HawkPerception]

Feminism

[ManOnFire]

In today's times it's not as easy as it was for the earlier generations to just link up and make a family. Times have gotten more financially challenging. We live in an age where more and more people are having to work a full time job and a part time, or a side hustle just to pay bills or try to get to a more financially stable place in their lives. A lot of people are also having to rent a room or get roommates just to have a place to live - and some are well into their 30s.

So having a family for many people in their 20s and even 30s now is not their main priority until they're more stable in life. But they're also waiting later to start one because I think people have become a little more conscientious about just getting with someone and having kids, and not being able to back out of it that easily if they're not happy or things are not going as planned with their partner. People might just be wanting to make sure things will work out, unlike their parents who ended up divorcing or staying together in misery and making dysfunctional families.

[truthteller234]

families have not become more dysfunctional. its just that social media has made people think that they have unlimited choices so they no longer work on their existing relationships. Rather they think partners and spouses are disposable and replaceable. This leads to a lack of incentive to treating each other well and resolving disputes

[ManOnFire]

@truthteller234 I didn't say they became more dysfunctional. I was basically saying many people come from dysfunctional families and don't want to be in that number when making their own family.

Social media has taught WOMEN they have unlimited choices. Not men. It teaches men that they are inferior to women and their ability to get sex, partners, or dates.

[truthteller234]

@ManOnFire

women don't have infinite choices. Older or overweight women dont have unlimited choices. young attractive women tend to have infinite choices because men tend to have high standards. See the logic?

[kmg9150]

@truthteller234 Thats rich, men have higher standards? Actually statistics show most men actually date down. Older and overweight women be out there just as demanding. They all think they can demand how a man needs to be. See your not on the dating apps as man, you dont see what we see. there's one where its like social media and you can post. So many guys are desperate just talk any women even the unattractive ones will get guys gawking over them.

Its choice and chance… Man in a nightclub will have a chance he takes a lady home. A women in a nightclub its a choice. Granted not all the guys she has to choose from may even be ones she wants to choose, but its still a choice.

So many of these single mothers on apps too are clear to point out that their not interested for guys with kids or want to have a anymore kids…. ill stop there

[ManOnFire]

@truthteller234 Young attractive women have infinite choices because 95% of men want young things and put them up on a pedestal. Younger women know this, that is why they pretend innocence and sweetness so they can get over on guys.

[truthteller234]

@kmg9150 @ManOnFire

older or overweight women barely ever get asked out. they never get any attention.

when 90% of the male population are only going for 15% of the female population, thats why men can't ever get any dates.

you have a tiny sector of women who are getting ALL the attention. Meanwhile the remainder of the female population get no attention at all.

Lower your standards and you will find someone

[ManOnFire]

@truthteller234 You make no sense. Overweight and older women still get attention. Many of them are even puzzled as to why they do because they don't feel like they're attractive. I think you should get out more.

[truthteller234]

@ManOnFire

haha yea... Men all over GAG saying women over 30 are all expired... or men asking questions like "why do fat women think they're entitled to a man's attention?"

lower your standards, you will find someone.

[ManOnFire]

@truthteller234 Guys on GaG do not account for the larger male population. In real life I see so many dudes with overweight plain looking or even downright unattractive women, and others try to bag older women - myself included. Young things have little to no value in today's world.

[Summeroflove]

The thing is that…. They see many people who rushed into having a family many times including their own parents and immediate family. They seen those relationships become toxic and subsequently fail… Including many that seemed perfect.

People want to pick a good second parent for their kids mother/father. People want a relationship with someone they genuinely love that will last. They want to make sure they’re not getting too carried away in a fantasy and genuinely know someone as well as find someone whose compatible…. And while they may date plenty of people a lot of people get screened out. Until they find the right person.

Let me tell you… it’s a very dangerous game to marry out of desperation. Not all young people who get married do so out of desperation some genuinely fell in love and will last. Others fell in love and got too carried away in fantasies of one another before becoming disappointed and resentful later down the road.

People who marry for desperation aren’t only hurting themselves if they’re not honest about it. They’re also hurting someone who believes they love them… and that’s sad. But many people do this. As long as two people are completely honest. I’m not going to judge…. They were honest and didn’t waste anyones time. If it lasts it lasts.

[Berethor]

Modern society is selling people the lie that they have a lot of time, but fertility is falling fast.

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/age-and-fertility

[HighValue]

Feminist and liberal indoctrination along with delusional wishful thinking. Once a woman is past 30 she has no value at all to a man for a new relationship that wants to start a family. Anyone that disagrees is denying actual biology and statistics.

[Imjustagirl1520]

Men really are stupid huh.

[sawno]

Our education system is broken, people stay in school / uni for far to long. So by the time they are actually ready for a family they are in their 30's. We need to transition to a society where 18 year olds are already experts in their field. Your teens should be for building a career, your 20s for family. I was ready for a career when I was 13, but school held me back for 7 years because in our society you need a degree and aren't taken serious at that age.

[blackgaletiger]

Its more that people prioritize a career and stability over uncertainty. Having a family younger is better but the cost and upkeep makes its harder. Plus the bucket list that people have pushes them away and enjoying life while they can. I honestly wouldn't want to raise a family being unstable because that burden gets passed on in more ways than one but having a late family also has its drawbacks physically as well

[truthteller234]

because people nowadays are selfish and prioritize having fun, dating around, waiting for the perfect person.

but at the end I think most of us realize that the perfect person doesn't exist and most of us just settle for someone by the time we are in our 30s.

[kmg9150]

The perfect person does exist…. Problem is they have flaws, their going to do things that you may not like from time to time, they may not check all the boxes on your list. Most men aren't even going to get to a first date that would be a good fit for a lady. Why, because they may have double texted, seemed to available, didn't set up a date after 5 messages exchanged. See a big problem is that most guys have been derailed on how they should behave when in certain situations with women, by the media, hollywood and even women. Most of y'all say one thing and always mean another. Problem is there is a break the way we communicate, women expect men to know this, men are to ignorant realize this.

[truthteller234]

@kmg9150

um... no it does not.

What people usually say when they "think" they have met the perfect person is when they met someone that they have fun with so much that they forget all their flaws. I have seen men fall madly in love with sociopaths, narcissists, psychopaths, terrible women only to find out years later who they actually married.

Issue is... just cuz she can make you laugh, give you a good time, seem interesting it DOES NOT MEAN THEY WOULD MAKE A GOOD WIFE OR IS EVEN A GOOD PERSON.

if you marry someone who isn't a decent person and isn't a good spouse, YOU ARE SCREWED. It does not matter how "perfect" they may seem to your eyes.

[truthteller234]

@kmg9150

as for the guys being rejected, I think it has to do with men only targeting one very specific sector of the population which is young females 18-30 that are the only ones getting dates.

Older women or chubby women really don't get asked out much. It seems like the only girls getting hit on are young, thin, pretty attractive females under 30.

Lower your standards and you will find someone.

[bobalife]

Various levels of stability, priorities, values, readiness, life stages, or not being in the right relationship / person.

[beenherebefore]

Late compared to our grandmas and ancestors because people now have different priorities and opportunities.

[CindyRuns]

Didn't get married till I was 23 and had fertility problems that lasted almost 7 years before I had my first

[FunkyMonkee]

Can't seem to please anyone! If you start in your late tens to mid 20's, you're too young! I you start after your mid 20's, you're too old!

[YourExLover69]

Laziness, internet usage, instability in life, feminism, hook up culture etc. could be lot of reasons

[blackeagle007]

Traditional marriages aren’t easy with this affordability

[Anonymous]

They want to save more money which would make it easier to raise the child. Think about it.

[Ad_Quid_Orator]

Because it's harder for people to find a stable career where they can support a family at younger age.

[69NeverGiveUp69]

Longer lives, tighter budgets, more single people. I’d say there are many factors and everyone will pick a different reasoning that most closely matches their ideology

[CuriousMufuxka]

Financial responsibility? We can't all start spawning at 16.

[In_Trance]

nobody starts late. everyone does it exactly when they're suppose to

[queenofcardio]

I am prioritizing other things in my life.

[exitseven]

young people have a protracted adolescence.

[Emmytexrex]

Everyone have there reasons

[laryipels]

i guess they just aren't ready for it

[itsnaoxornever]

financial reasons

[Petermorgan343434]

Money