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Long story short - I had contributed to a discussion and someone else twisted my words and made it about something else entirely.
The reason I was so angry is because this person was putting words in my mouth that I did not say. And because I struggle with social anxiety I couldn't properly defend myself.
Now the others, they didn't necessarily do the same thing to me but I felt like because she twisted the framing of what I was saying and I didn't defend that they just kind of went with it.
I'm confused as to why they didn't notice the inconsistency in terms of what I was saying and what she was making it out to be
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Maybe, but you need to tell us exactly what your words were and how she twisted them
In a nutshell I shared a point about how when I was younger and I did well it would be that whole why'd you get a 90 and not a 100. And it messed with my mind. When I was older I learned to appreciate and value your hard work dedication etc. because you got that 90 through your hard work. I also talked about the importance of parents and the positive reinforcement that's needed.
This woman smirked and said, "See parents can't be blamed for everything okay. For example if you compare yourself to someone else and get jealous and think why do they have a bigger car, you're not looking at all the things behind it that got them a bigger car."
I was caught off guard and was like... what has that got to do with what I'm saying? Like that is not what I was saying at all.
And like I said I struggle with social anxiety so I froze I didn't know how to defend myself without it escalating. But she embarrassed me and my face was flustered it's almost like she did it just to undercut my point
She was undercutting you. She was saying that the person who got a 100 when you got a 90 deserved to get a better grade.
But that's not what I was saying at all I was talking about how you should respect your own hard work. Like my parents didn't teach me that and as an adult I realize how important it is to respect your own dedication etc.
So you're saying she was being a ***** on purpose?
I think so.
Like what i was trying to say and I'm pretty sure I described this properly in the discussion os there was no room for someone misunderstanding me - was that if you got a 90 it took time and effort etc. it didn't just happen. So respect your hard work dedication etc.
It's almost like my point was saying the exact opposite of what she was saying.
Why do you think she undercut me like that? I almost wonder if she did it on purpose just to embarrass me in front of everyone.
I’m not sure. Who is she? How do you know her?
Yeah i think so too now that I read your description I feel that even more that she did it on purpose.
But why didn't the others defend me? It was me this woman and 3-4 other men on the table.
It was such a bitchy thing for her to almost like attack me like that. I feel so bad that I had to put up with that and couldn't put a stop to it in the moment because of my social anxiety
I don’t know. How do you know her? Is she prettier than you?
She's this woman from the discussion I've met her like maybe once or twice before.
I remember prior to that she was about to say something and a man spoke instead. This happens all the time in discussions as there is no cue about who should speak when.
She was trying to I don't know like undercut him too she was like 'Yeah for example if I'm trying to speak and you're not letting me speak etc.' his face had reddened. He said I didn't even mean to not let you speak etc I was busy with the discussion I wasn't sitting there thinking let's shut her up.
Later on I had shared an anecdote about how when I started acting I realized a lot of people are actually focused on their own performance etc. not really other people.
I'm not sure if this was revenge for me sharing that point or what but like this woman strikes me as an insecure person.
She is not even remotely attractive much the opposite. She's also at least 6-7 years older.
But why do you ask if she's prettier than me?
She sounds generally bitchy and insecure.
I have to go. Night!
Because sometimes med men listen to the prettier woman
Night!
I don't think that's why I think it's because one person kind of twisted my words and then I didn't defend myself so they just accepted it as the status quo.
Which is why I felt so bad about the whole thing like what I didn't even say that lol.
Yeah I hope someone calls her out on it. I mean I felt so bad about the whole thing I didn't want to go back there after this experience but now I feel maybe it was just this one person who is like this.
Night.
Because those types of people are not looking for a real discussion
Do you think I should tell the moderator about this experience? I mean because I didn't call it out at the time I don't want to let it slide.
But I also feel I'm not sure if they would be empathetic. People with social anxiety are much more likely to empathize with me as they'd get where I'm coming from about why I didn't call it out on the spot my body going into freeze a little bit etc.
But thanks for your empathy.
If you want but im. unsure what it will resolve