So I reconnected with someone old and we started talking for old time sake. I told her I homeschool my kids and was getting ready to start classes after the new year. I told her I wanted a relationship with the right person aslong as they aligned with my beliefs, medical and religious wise in the future. We have never physically met in person , but talked about meeting sometime in May when my kids were out of school for flexibility. Between me homeschooling my kids and in college the only time we had to talk was after I got out of class on the weekends and she had a problem with that leaving me no time for myself. We literally talked every day for over a month and she expected me to talk to her everyday like we were dating. I literally had no time for myself and wasn't feeling well this week. Yesterday, I told her that after class, I needed to rest, and maybe today I would text her if I felt better. No word, no, nothing since that text.. she literally thought we were in a relationship when there were no intentions we weren't. I never met her in person , the entire time we talked, we texted and never went out on a date. I told her I'd be open to a relationship after my certification this August and after I move. Like my plate is full as I run a business, and it's on pause due to a certification I'm working on.
Why did she think we were dating? Just because we talk on the phone doesn't mean we're dating?
It seems she had other expectations and was suffocating me every day like we were dating. We were never exclusive and treated her and I as friends as we've only been talking 1 month. I wouldn't say we were dating unless we initiated that together , met, and went on some dates where I was investing into a relationship.
Total disrespectful to just ghost and go Mia like who does that? Not only was she inconsiderate, but selfish
Why did she think we were dating? Just because we talk on the phone doesn't mean we're dating?
It seems she had other expectations and was suffocating me every day like we were dating. We were never exclusive and treated her and I as friends as we've only been talking 1 month. I wouldn't say we were dating unless we initiated that together , met, and went on some dates where I was investing into a relationship.
Total disrespectful to just ghost and go Mia like who does that? Not only was she inconsiderate, but selfish
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
I’m not sure if I would say that she thought you were dating, but I do believe she is a very clingy and needy person. If you’re anything like me then you need low maintenance friends, the kind you can go weeks and even months without talking but when you get back in touch it’s like no time has passed. The sort of friends that can respect your space, boundaries, and understand that you’re busy living life because they are as well. This woman almost demands your time, disregarding how busy you are with kids and schoolwork. She’s only thinking of her need to be social, a which is both inconsiderate and selfish. I’m sorry if you’re feeling any guilt right now, but just know that this is probably for the better. I mean imagine if you dated, she’d only feel more entitled to your time and be an even bigger brat. You’re better off without her.
I have no guilt if anything, I'm hurt that she was inconsiderate of the fact I was sick and need time to recharge and balance out somethings I were working on before I met her which she knew. I don't mind friends, which I thought we were? I felt like we were not dating to even be talking as much as we needed, too , but I made time to talk despite my busy schedule.
We even talked about meeting up this summer when my kids were out... now I don't want to pursue anything with her if she does contact me again.
I wouldn't call her a brat just inconsiderate and selfish
I do feel unappericated based on the fact that she didn't even respond back to the text I sent her a few days ago.. I asked God to keep my single at this point as I have been 11 years
I try to be intentional with the words I use, so while I don’t know her personally, I do feel like that sort of childish behavior is bratty. She could’ve easily communicated her feelings, but instead has essentially chosen to “punish” you with silence, and that’s just so wrong. When I speak of guilt, I don’t mean like you did a bad thing and regret it, but maybe you feel confused and strange about her not responding to your text. You’re not wrong for needing some downtime, and you aren’t wrong for not being as available as she is, but your life sounds different in a way she can’t relate. Like does she have kids? It sounds like no. So she wouldn’t understand how much of a handful parenting can be, especially when you’re trying to juggle multiple things. You do your best and a good friend would respect your availability.
Yes, she has kids but doesn't have the responsibility of tending to younger kids for school and etc.. yes it was so childish and immature. I wish her the best the level of trust is gone once you hurt me and being inconsiderate
Why I'm guarded and restricted
Wouldn't say closed off
I feel confident that she will contact you again, and hopefully between then and now you have time to decide whether she’s a person you truly want to stay connected with. If so then I’d suggest putting some boundaries in place. Tell her that it was hurtful and inconsiderate of her to ignore you, and she needs to do a better job at saying when something is wrong, otherwise a friendship won’t work.
Boundaries were out in place I told her the weekends I'm more free - I don't know if I what to talk to her anymore
Put-
If you choose not to remain friends, that’s perfectly fine and acceptable. But if you let her back in, by setting boundaries I don’t necessarily mean saying you’re more free on the weekends, because that leaves a lot of room for someone like her to interpret it how she wants. I mean being very clear and firm about what’s ok and what’s not. To someone like me (and clearly you too), I would understand that you’re saying your weekdays are hectic and you aren’t as available, so I should tone it down a bit with how much I ask for your attention. But for her, she’ll disregard what you have going on and focus on only her needs, and that’s not ok. For instance, if you tell me that you’re dead tired and will get back to me later, I will tell you it’s no problem, there’s not rush to get back to me and I’ll talk to you later. Then ask about how you’re doing when you get back to me — that’s a considerate friend. Choosing to ice you out instead is childish and wrong. Her behavior can’t continue like that if she was to remain friends.
I'm unsure if I want to continue and would rather stick to myself
That’s why I said it’s perfectly fine and acceptable if that’s what you choose.
I don't really think so. First meets are difficult. Give it another shot?
No I will not give it another shot I'm done dating due to beliefs and mindset of people nowadays
I wasn't trying to date in the first place
Oh, I see but yeah, 3 strikes and yiur out. Another chance makes sense.
No I've been single 11 years by choice because dating is too much nowadays.. folks want ro rush into sex and dating not only that beliefs.. my beliefs are different a lot of people don't align with my beliefs
Why I stopped dating all together it's too much to date
I rather have friends and keep it there even more so with these diseases and illnesses out here
Dating shouldn't be this hard why can't people respect the dating flow. They want to rush and assume you're dating because you're on the phone talking.. between the ghosting and MIA.. why bother?
My life has been at peace single
I know damn, people suck!!
Unless there's a valid reason death or sickness I have to assume other wise.. just completely ghost with no reason its emotionally painful
rejection hurts.
I'm not hurt based on rejection. I'm hurt because it was how it was done - the childish behavior was unnecessary were all grown
We're- it's time to grow up
There you go... you are on target but where are the rest of them...
I don't know...
I know where I'm at done with dealing with people of today and staying single / celibate