Am I being childish for not having kids yet in my early 30s?

[Justneedtokno]

So I’m 30+ one years old and I haven’t really dated. I’ve been just trying to get myself in a good mental space. Try to do some growth around me and securing a safe environment for me to live rebuilding my childhood home took a break having way too much fun trying to refocus, but I’ve left dating on the back burner. I want children terrified of being a mom. I don’t wanna be a bad parent, but we love the journey.


Question is am I being childish for not having a child yet?

[Anonymous]

Childish, no. But if you do want kids you really have to start working towards making that happen now. Waiting until you’re ready or everything is just right is bullshit. Do that and you’ll never have kids. If a woman doesn’t have kids by 28 years old she has a 50% chance of ever having kids, meaning there’s also a 50% risk she never will even if she wants to. That statistic looks worse for each year that goes by after 28. If I remember correctly it’s something like 15% chance at 35. It’s not because of fertility (although that also declines with age) it’s because circumstance like not finding the right partner etc. And yeah, that statistic includes those who don’t want kids but statistically that’s a small group even though they seem loud online. 80-95% (depending on area) of women who never had kids and are past their childbearing years wanted children or thought they would have them eventually. These things are true for men as well but they don’t track these data for men as much for some reason. But the older you get without having had children the less likely you are to ever have them - even if you want to. And at 31, single, barely dated, terrified of being a mom… You really have to start taking this seriously if you do want kids. If you don’t then whatever, live your life however you want. Not having kids is not childish and even if someone would think that, that’s irrelevant to you and your life. Your life is for you to live the way you want and can.

[Kassandra1994]

My friend she is 49 and recenyly just had twins so what is the Rush? With this economy I read an artilcle that 40 year olds are now having their first child so I no you are not childish now a days economy how expensive cribs , formula can get oh and its not like in the 90s when parents used second hand cribs and car seats now it is requieren to buy everything new. My older sister and I we are 10 years apart my parents used the same stroller , car seat and crib for me taht used to be my older sister from when she was a baby sadly we can no longer even used passed down generation baby cribs , carseat stroller.

[ArrowheadSW]

You are not being childish at all. It is best to wait until you are ready. And you are focusing on personal growth, which is more that a lot of people can say. I'd say among the people who I grew up with who had kids, only about half of the kids are doing well. I have friends who have kids who are addicted to drugs off and on. One friend of mine has a daughter who has tried to kill him several times and is finally in a facility for mental illness. There is no guarantee that having kids will end up well. Some people are willing to take the risk.

[Lliam]

It's not childish to be mentally and financially prepared before starting a family. It would be childish to have a child when you are unprepared to care for it properly.

[Calyptomaniac]

The best thing you can do is wait until you are ready and being aware that you are not yet is a great thing. It's the opposite of childish, it's very mature.

[EmmaMary]

I could not have put this better myself. x

[NathanDavis]

better yourself... till you feel better about yourself, that would be the responsible thing to do...

[LiamS95]

No, it's a huge commitment and responsibility. your mind heart and soul have to be in the right place for such a commitment, but kids an be so fulfilling for responsible adults.

[AngryCarl3]

Am I childish for not having kids yet in my late 60s? Or am I just aware that I would be a suboptimal parent?

[Anonymous]

No it's normal. But it does make us guys feel insecure, so we will say things to make you doubt yourself.

[TonyMetal___1986]

You're not being childish, it's all about luck and finding the one!

[ChicoFromThe305]

Childish no, it's a choice I suppose

[jahaims]

No, just stupid for thinking it is childish

[Kassandra1994]

You can not obligate woman to be baby factores PERIOD! THE DAY YOUR MOM POP YOU OUT THATS WHEN THE WORLD WAS CURSED!

[Jamie05rhs]

No. I think you're being wise.

[Iron_Man]

Some people don’t want kids

[Agape93]

Nope

[FrodoSkywalker007]

It's a choice

[DirtyOldMan777]

selfish, yes.

[wkhan_87]

It's your preference