Friends without the benefits. What does it mean when a guy really wants to be friends without the benefits?

[Anonymous]

So I had a friends with benefits situation that in my opinion was going pretty well. He was cute and a great conversationalist and really good in bed. I was crushing but it wasn't something serious. I didn't want anything serious. Well, he has decided that that he just wants to be friends but no sex. At first I thought that he just wanted stop chilling with me all togther. But he really wants to be friends. He still hits me up and we always text. But when I hang out with him I get this vibe from him. He still kind of flirts with me and touches me. I am pretty close with my guy friends and get touchy with them. But with him, it just feels different. Now I really like his company and we actually have a great time without having sex. So my questions are, what the hell does he really want from me? Am I reading into this? Is he testing something? I am really confused here. Lol

[BeowulfNode]

If you 2 have spoken about not becoming Girlfriend & Boyfriend then it sounds like he is trying to pick up some other girl as a girlfriend and do the right thing by her and not sleep with you while he's doing that.

he isn't testing or degrading you or anything bad towards you, it's just that he wants a Girlfriend and if you've said you're not the one for him then he is finding someone else to be one.

If his attempts with her fall through he'll likely be interested in sex with you again. If this is all OK with you then bring it up and tell him you are OK with it.

If you are not OK with it then it means you are jealous and want to be his GF, own up to it, and tell him so.

[Asker]

I completely understand where you are coming from but he just got out of a relationship.

[BeowulfNode]

so what? he might like being in a relationship and already has someone else targeted for his attentions. Guys can get over a relationship very quickly sometimes. Particularly if they are the ones who brake it off.

You still haven't said if you've told him you don't want to be his GF. Have you said that to him?

[Asker]

Oh yea! Sorry so I did tell him I really liked him but just wanted to have fun for right now. And how I act around him gives away everything. I am giggling school girl. Lol so embarrassing. For me if he had not just got out of relationship, I would have made a move. But I am not the rebound girl, ya know? I was just going with flow and if something came of it that is cool but if not then least I got great sex out of it.

[BeowulfNode]

TerranceMurphy has a good point as well, I think you need to speak plainly with him about your feelings, and ask him his. If you 2 are playing games, you are wasting time.

[Asker]

Yea you are right. I know I am not playing games but it just hard for me to bring it up. I don't want to make things awkward when I am just trying to have fun.

[stubbsy]

This guy actually respects you, because this friends with benefits buisness is so a guy can sleep around and not upset the girl or vice versa, so your basically using each other, but this guy don't want to use you any more, so he just wants your friendship without disrepecting you in the process, a pretty desent guy really, you have a good friend in him, because these are real friends, the others who do want sex are just friends because you give them sex, your giving what theyu want and probably getting a reputation without knowing it, so beware of this friends with benefits buisness, because real friends wouldn't use you in this way,x

[Asker]

Yea I am not just seen as a piece of ass to him, which is good. Thanks

[TerranceMurphy]

I'm sure this guy wants to be boyfriend-girlfriends with you. He's reasoning that by removing the sex and just going back to being friends, something better can build up, and he can change your mind about being serious with him... If you have asked him if he wants to be closer to you than he already was, and he said yes, he's making a move to make that become reality. It's actually a really mature move, and this guy has his game plan ready...

[Asker]

Yea that what some of my friends were saying. And it does make me feel OK because least I know I am not just a piece of ass to him. He is kind of weird so I don't know what is in his head. I would date him but I want us to really like each other for who we are before that so maybe this is a good thing. Thanks for the comment

[Jcanada2016]

What if you are friends for 2 years and then it turned romanticly involved, but he goes back and forth every 10 days from lovers to friends. THis is what Im going through, and he still wants to hangout and do things! One date was a rock concert I spent 1 hr getting ready etc and found out later (as he did not try to hold my hand or respond when I touch him) that we are friends yet again, Now its every 7 days!! And he won't respond when I ask him did you meet someone as this is so very bizarre. He said we have to cut out the sex again and he's made no Christmas promises to me yet its 5 weeks away, I never met his friends or family yet and Im rather angry... he's suppose to call me tonight... it seems something changed... I just want the truth... he was talking weddings and showed me a list off his computer of top 10 traits in your partner and said I have every one, called me beautiful, said honey im home etc ( we live in same apt complex then 4 days later he's cold as a clam, not talking much...

[Jcanada2016]

and he has talked to his friends about me he told me so...

[Jcanada2016]

I fell for him months ago but with this constant upset back and forth I dont feel the same or that I can trust him. I will be away for Christmas he knows this to see my family...