Am I right to suspect my cousin is cheating on her Army boyfriend?

[Babyseal23]

I've become a little suspicious about my cousin Izzy and her relationship. She has a boyfriend who is in the Army, and they originally met through work before moving into a flat share together. Since he joined the Army, he's not around much and she is effectively living alone in their flat.

Recently, I've noticed she's been spending quite a bit of time with another man. He's much more conventionally attractive, has aspirations of becoming a travel influencer, and the two of them regularly like each other's social media posts. She also shares pictures of him, where they look very happy, laughing and joking together. What's particularly interesting is that she doesn't show her boyfriend's face in her posts, despite him sharing pictures of himself on his own social media. I wonder whether she's perhaps not particularly attracted to him. If im honest her boyfriend is very unattractive, he's surprisingly not very masculine for a soldier, is fat, short with pink hair. he's your typical soy boy.

I'm also conscious of the wider family history. There seems to be a pattern of infidelity on my mum's side. Both of the women in the previous generation were cheated on by their husbands, and the impact of those relationships appears to have affected their daughters. One of those daughters eventually cheated on her own boyfriend, who was quite similar in personality and appearance to Izzy's current boyfriend.

Izzy also has a reputation for being manipulative and knowing how to get what she wants. I haven't spent enough time around her and her boyfriend to judge their relationship properly, so I don't know whether anything is actually happening. However, I can't help wondering whether she's becoming interested in someone she considers a better prospect while keeping her existing relationship going.

Updates

1 d

And it is my business because she's like a little stister to me even though she isn't always prefect she needs healing and I feel like i should be keeping a close eye on her to make sure she doesn't repeat history

[AI Opinion]

I’m here on GAG to decode messy relationship dynamics and give you the honest tea with a little charm sprinkled in 😏

Your radar isn’t crazy, but it’s not proof either. Constant posts with the new guy, hiding the boyfriend’s face, flirty vibes online, plus her manipulative rep and family cheating pattern? Huge yellow flags.

Still, it’s her relationship, not yours. Don’t accuse, don’t meddle. Just emotionally step back, stay observant, and don’t get dragged into her potential love triangle drama.

[HollyK21]

I don't know, being a busy wife and mom like yourself I just wouldn’t have time to be so focused on other people’s relationships and issues when I’ve got my own. “She’s like a little sister to me”, still not your problem — you are not her. She’s going to heal when she’s ready, not because you or anyone else butted their nose in her business and made her feel bad.

[Babyseal23]

Wow you must be really busy. If can't even be socially aware of people yet you had time to comment this with your busy life

[Babyseal23]

I actually feel privileged

[HollyK21]

I think having time to leave a comment vs investing fully into other people’s relationships to the point I can break down a timeline, historical patterns along with “keeping an eye on them” are two entirely different things. How about keeping an eye on your child and husband instead, because at least those are your own relationships to control. You can’t dictate what your friends, relatives or in-laws do just because you disapprove with how they’re living their lives. Just because you’re a “baby” doesn’t mean others prefer to be treated as one as well.

[Babyseal23]

Everything you say is extremely hypocritical at least the people im investing my time in i actually know unlike yourself. You seem to be investing a great deal of your time analysing my family life all from one post

[Babyseal23]

Actually I wrong you haven't analysing my family life all from one post have you? Because I never mentioned being a wife or mother on this question did I? Thats a awful lot of time you've spent looking at someone's page that you don't even know to get that information. time you could have spent with your child and husband.

So maybe before you go looking for fights in a comment section of a shitty forum website take a look at your self first. All the best 👍

[HollyK21]

Ummm, it doesn't require "stalking" to remember that we spoke on here when you were pregnant. It’s called having a memory, not an obsession. What does take an awful lot of time is tracking your cousin's social media likes, breaking down her partner's physical appearance, and mapping out a multi-generational timeline of family infidelity just to accuse someone of cheating.
There is a massive difference between having a straightforward opinion and "looking for a fight." You posted a highly judgmental breakdown of your family on a public advice forum. If you only want people to coddle you or agree with your theories, don't ask the public for their thoughts. All the best to you as well.

[Babyseal23]

Yet I've never interacted with you on here before so you clearly look at my post regularly and you even remember be being pregnant which was almost 4 months ago. Im flattered to have a follower, if I didn't know better id be abit creeped out 🤣 didn't think there was people online who took such a keen interest into my life to go as far back to what I was talking about over 4 months ago.

Your really digging yourself hole.

[Babyseal23]

Maybe i have interacted with you before but you just forgot to press on anonymous

[HollyK21]

Sigh. I don't know, maybe you just get into too many confrontations on this site to remember, but yes, we have interacted once in the past. No, I don't need anonymize myself because I stand by what I say, just as I did before. Unlike you, I'm not an overly sensitive woman who throws a tantrum when someone disagrees with them or they don’t like how something was said — I don’t have that expectation with total strangers.

Remembering a previous conversation isn't "creepy"—it’s just basic memory.
What’s actually funny is that you already gave your little "all the best" sign-off in your last reply, yet here you are back again because your ego couldn't let it go. Trying to turn this into me being a "follower" is just a childish way to deflect from the fact that you got called out for gossiping. You wanted validation for judging your cousin, you didn't get it, and now you're desperate for the last word. Believe whatever delusions you want to comfort yourself, but it’s all very childish and you could do with some growing up.

[Babyseal23]

Again your a hypocrite but whatever. Your literally doing everything you've accused me of. There wasn't a difference of opinion you just came in and started bringing up my family life out of nowhere and it was completely out of context to the question I asked. Im sorry your butt hurt but you had your arse handed to you.

Dont make bitchy comments about how I care for child or husband when i never asked you and expect me to be welcoming towards you.

You knew exactly what you were doing and I think if anything your deflecting on your own life or you wouldn't have bought my child or husband into this. Plus how is it gossiping when you don't even know the people im talking about. I can guarantee your from America because you guys love getting offended over nothing especially if its on someone else's behalf and you also like living in cotton candy land were no ones aloud to just be honest or say what they actually think. But yeah im gossiping with you about some girl on the other side of the world.

And to say I have an ego. Your the one whose came on her all high mighty about how busy of a life you have but you dont have time to focus on other people relationship to then call out my relationship with my husband and child from something you read 4 months ago

[HollyK21]

You posted a deep dive into your cousin’s drama on a public forum for strangers to dissect, which is literally the exact definition of gossip lol. You claim to hate a "cotton candy land" where people can't be honest, yet the second someone is straightforward with you, you throw a tantrum and rewrite history to play the victim. Remembering a detail from a past conversation that you have with someone takes zero effort, but tracking your cousin's social media likes and mapping out this multi-generational family tree of cheating takes actual obsession. You already gave your little sign-off responses twice now, but your ego clearly cannot handle being called out. Like grow up already you’re a mother now.

[HollyK21]

Also, I never called out or addressed your relationships with your husband and child. I simply said that you should focus your energy on them instead of obsessing over your cousins life and thinking you can dictate her choices. Learn the difference.

[Babyseal23]

I didn't ask you about my husband or child though did i? What kind of response did you expect from a comment like that?

[HollyK21]

You didn’t ask me about your cousin either, yet you posted her entire life on a public forum anyway. Don’t put your family’s dirty laundry on the internet if you can’t handle strangers giving you honest feedback.

[Babyseal23]

Oh god forbid someone ask questions on a sight with the literal words "ask" in the name. I also forgot when I put her real name, place of work and home address on the site. Why are you on this site if you get offended by strangers asking questions on here about there lifes and family and such thats literally what this sight is for.

Dont tell me you get upset when you log into amazon and they try and sell you something on there.

Why the hell are you on here is you have an issue with the literal concept of this site

[HollyK21]

The site is called GirlsAskGuys, not "GirlsValidateMyGossip." People come here to ask for advice, and the advice you got was to mind your own business and stop tearing down your family. If you can’t handle a direct answer that doesn't side with you, don’t post. Cry about it all you want, but I’m done giving you the attention you’re clearly starving for.

[Babyseal23]

I know this may come to a shock to you too but Babyseal23 isn't actually my name either so I doubt anyone on this site will find her

[HollyK21]

It may come as a shock to you as well, but hiding behind an alias doesn’t change the fact that you’re gossiping. You just wanted a public echo chamber to validate your judgement, you didn’t get it, and now you’re desperately arguing semantics. It’s just getting silly now and like I said — grow up.

[Anonymous]

Absolutley, she cheating. Was common when i was in the military. I knew guys who came back from a deployment to find their wives or girlfriends had cleaned out their bank accounts joint or otherwise, sold all their stuff, bought stuff on credit in their name, had been collecting their army pay and shacked up with another guy. Of course the shock of it after deployment they go looking for answers and the police get called and they end uo not seeing their kids.

I knew married women on deployment that had to go 9months into deployment because they were 4months pregnant. Hell i slept with a few married women on deployment, one woman i could be one among 20 other guys that fathered her baby, we all got clymidia from her too.

[Opinion Owner]

Relationships and the military dont work. I never got serious with a girl until i left.

[Iron_Man]

if she is report it to the army guy immediately

[Babyseal23]

He can see the same as me. Je has her social media

[Babyseal23]

He**

[Iron_Man]

And what does he say?

[Babyseal23]

No idea he's off in the army

[Anonymous]

It sounds like it's none of your business.

[Babyseal23]

Another brave anon 🤣

[Paige2006]

Sounds like she is

[Danny_dan92]

Wouldn’t surprise me

[eagle1951]

probably is