Can men and women be friends?

[Anna_Drouga]

Me and my girlfriend believe that men and women can be friends but our boyfriend think the opposite.

[pirofaz]

Yes it is possible. Just note that:

-Sexual interest doesn't dissapear with friendship, I would enjoy to have sex with my female friends, but is not necesarry. Is just that it would be a nice bonus, I kind of like the Freinds with benefit concept.But sexual interest doesn't have to be a problem if the guy have maturity and self control.

-Romantic interest can be a bit tought, but is possible to beat with enought maturity and knowing that there are more people over the world, and some of them not only are as much relationship material as the person you love at the present time, but also would love you back. If you grab this concept well enought, you can keep having the friendship with the person that you love, but just love you back as friends. Is all about acceptance, suffering comes from not accepting the reality as it is.

Just be constanly aware of guys intention, without cynism but with inteligence and prudence

[MrJune]

I think it depends on the circumstance. Were they dating, strangers in a bar, friends at school for so long?

Maybe the last two things not as much. But I can say now, most of my friends are females, not for hitting on and such, just easier to hang with for me. So I can say we can be friends, but most of my female friends aren't interested in a relationship with me, nor am I with them. Maybe your boyfriend meant though, that he couldn't be friends with an ex girlfriend or some random girl he met.

[vmw2008]

You're both right lol at least from what I've observed, women will put effort into just being friends with a man. No attraction, no hidden agenda, we just want to be friends with the guy. We think being friends is possible. Men on the other hand, at least from what I've observed, do not put in effort to be friends with a girl that they do not secretly like or want to sleep with. So from their point of view, the only girls they're trying to be friends with a girls they actually want to be more than friends with.

This in turn leads to why men have such an issue with the "friend zone." Women rarely have this problem because if a guy didn't want to hook up with us, he wouldn't have been our friend to begin with. Women will make friends with a guy she doesn't want to hook up with, but that guy probably wants to hook up with her. Thus he gets friend zoned. It's a dilemma.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Best answer right here. On the freakin' money.

Only exceptions:

1. The male friend finds another girl and gets into a relationship with her.

2. Female friends that are older/unattractive to the male friends.

Final note: Girls as friends are often higher-drama than with male friends. Male friends are lower maintenance, that's part of the reason men don't choose to be friends with many girls they aren't interested in. It often becomes a one-way investment. Your millage may vary.

[3336PS]

My god. My story.

[kheserthorpe]

Yup. TDS reports the unfortunate reason why.

I think the exception to this is guys having dating problems will often become close to a girl who they can talk to about dating.

[kereru]

yes, of course they can...it would be pretty sad if you couldnt, that's like immediately ruling out 50% of the human population as potential amigos.

finding that spark with someone is actually quite a rare thing when you think about it,

There are plenty of guys I am great friends with, but I know and they know that we ll never be turned on by each other.

[littlegigik]

Yes, they can be friends, depending on the situation.

Two young single people who aren't attracted to one another would make good friends.

But if one person wants to take things further, then it gets hard to be just friends.

I don't think men and women should be more than casual friends or acquaintances when they get into a serious relationship.

[MrNameless]

Sorry, I'm a bit confused by your last sentence.. They shouldn't be more than casual friends/aquaintances, when they get into a serious relationship? Do you mean, until they get into a serious relationship?

[3336PS]

Agree and sad that they can only be casual friends

[littlegigik]

Sorry Mr. Nameless, I meant when they both get into a serious relationship with two other people then they should not be close to one another.

Like, if Jack was seriously dating Jill and Sarah was seriously dating Samuel, then Jack and Sarah should only be casual friends ( not doing much more than talking from time to time and hanging out in groups ) since they have to respect their SO's

[MrNameless]

I definitely think it's possible, but it's not easy for most.

Especially if one party, likes the other. I really do think it's more hard for men, for some reason, and I"m in that group of men, where I hardly if at all, put any effort in befriending a woman I'm not attracted to at all.

[MrNameless]

I also agree with the Anonymous user right after me.

I can definitely be just friends with an attractive girl, when she is already in a relationship. I remember when Harry said this in "When Harry met Sally" and it's true for me!

[3336PS]

So if she is attractive, you would be frined with intentions? Hoping for somthing more no?

[cathysmith07]

Its because commitment is involved and jealousy is there. Being in a relationship is really complicated. We are being very sensitive in everything that our partner is doing. We easily get hurt . We don't want to see someone lingering or flirting to them.

[froggyboy51]

as chris rock says..if you become friends with a woman you messed up somewhere along the line. TO men there are women you have done and women you haven't done yet :)

But that was some levity..I still do agree with it. Especially if the girl is attractive and she says we're such good friends or I'm like a brother to her..I feel like shooting myself in the head

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's possible. There are always gonna be some girls that make good friends but nothing more, some girls that make good girlfriends, but can't really be good friends if there were no relationship kind of feelings for one another, and there are girls that guys are friends with that they know by the girls personality that they would never want to date them, but they surely wouldn't mind having sexual relations with them... assuming both parties are single.

[krenee]

I think a girl can just be friends with a guy, but I think its too hard for guys to be friends with girls, they always end up developing feelings for the girl.

[MrNameless]

If the guy is attracted to the girl, yes, I agree that it's hard for me. But if I"m not attracted to her, I don't think I'd have a problem with that.

[MrNameless]

However, I think it's a bit awkward if she likes me, but I don't like her back.

[feng_xian]

Man and woman can be friends only at first, but always end up to had a feeling in the end.

That's what I think. as long as they're not too close, man and friends can stay to be friends.

[RubyRedRox]

Indeed, laws of attraction, the longer you are around someone the more you start developing feelings (assuming their personalities are attractive)

[3336PS]

Agree

[Freetobe007]

If neither of them is attracted to the other in a sexual way, then they can be friends. If one of them is attracted to the other in a sexual way, then 9/10 times they can't have a platonic friendship.

[toulouse]

I can. I am. Its never been a problem. Compatibility, is what makes or breaks a friendship. Not genitals.

[Elaine1]

There are many men and women are best friends forever. Boyfriends don't think so because they are afraid their girls would love her best male friends.

[curiouschica]

Sure, I think so...plus, there are always gay guys anyway! lol

[3336PS]

I learn and was told that they don't want to be my friend because they can't have me hurts.

[kheserthorpe]

Try gaining 60 lbs. Then I bet you can have platonic male friends ;)

[3336PS]

Thanks. I am gaining weight, long from 60 pounds though lol.

What is your take on this subject?

You are making fun of me! ;-)

[Prof_Don]

There has to be NO attraction towards the female for that to work imo...

...

...but it is possible for a male and a female to be friends.

[3336PS]

Agree with first comment.

Second comment-just casual friends in order for it to work

[RedThread]

Of course! I have female friends and to me they might as well be genderless. They are a complete nonsexual entity to me.

[Anonymous]

I'd say that if either:

their not attracted to each other or,

one or both is/are in a relationship,

then they can be friends

[3336PS]

Yea we are both in long term relationship. He kissed me then told me he can't be my friend. 6 months later still won't see me. So sad. Why?

[Opinion Owner]

Oh wow. I'm not sure that's really hard. He probably told you that because he doesn't want to cheat on his girlfriend. He must feel like being around you is very tempting. It sounds like he likes you but he also likes his girlfriend so he's torn

[qwertyusername]

yeah, except my only friend of the opposite gender that I have kept for a long time did ask me out once, which was uncomfortable. After she got over my no we just forgot about (it took a few months though)

[3336PS]

Glad to hear that. Its good that you two are okay. My guy friend won't talk to me or see me. I m upset. He kissed me.

[Operations]

They can. It just doesn't last in my case. Never has.

[3336PS]

Agree. After 3 years of being friends. Got messy.

[Anonymous]

I think attraction if any makes it difficult to remain friends

[obligations]

Because one always ends up liking the other.

[3336PS]

Agree

[kheserthorpe]

I can be friends with blondes.

[6Paul11]

I think it's possible.