Can Men & Women Be Friends?

[koolbeanz101]

So I have a friend. She asked me can men and women be friends? I'm not good with advice but I gave her an honest answer. So I told her I feel like the only way a man and women can be friends is if there's no attraction on either side. Correct me if I'm wrong. Because usually every guy I meet ends up having an attraction to me. But what ever happened to having guy friends that's just strictly platonic. So many guys nowadays just wanna hook up and be in relationships, which is not bad I'm just making an observation

So anyways my advice to her can a man and woman be friends? Absolutely not

[BullShark]

This is going to be a long one, so I hope you're prepared to read all the way till the end. You are correct, but there's one other thing you're missing. The only reason a man and a woman can be friends is if they keep things strictly platonic, there's no attraction between them, AND she can understand hus closeness, and appreciate his sense of humor.

Unlike women, we as men don't express our emotions and feelings openly to others - if that wasn't obvious already. And yeah yeah, I know there's this whole argument that men should be able to express and be more open about their emotions and feelings blah blah blah, but that doesn't always work out and for the most part, when and if a guy does share with a girl, usually what happens is that he's made fun of and his emotions are shot down, and he's called names such as "sissy" or "not a real man" or just simply laughed at. You may disagree, but as a man myself who has seen this happen in person to other male friends of mine. Just look at what happened to Jordan Peterson when he was called on a live show recently where the host kept poking at him and asking him "how does it feel to be the leader and the father of all these incels?"

Anyways my point is, we aren't open with ourselves and we won't be. And the only real reason how we express our emotions and inner feelings is through the filter of comedy and dark humor, which most women (some of whom I've known) either may get offended by or weirded out. So if she can laugh with me and my friends at a dark humored joke another male friend of mine cracked without thinking he's weird or a creep, then there's one.

Now coming back to the feelings part, yes, a man and woman can be good friends if there's no feelings between them and the platonicity is mutual. Which also means that she doesn't have feelings for him either. Keep in mind though that even if they become great friends, a man will still share a lot of personal things about himself with his guy friends more than a female friend and usually choose to hang out with them over her specifically, unless of course, it's a group gathering then that's a different thing. As guys, we also need to for the most part, keep our tone, mannerisms and frankness in check when communicating with a woman because we've been taught all our lives to be courteous and respectful when you're around the opposite sex. With other guys, we can be as frank as we can for the most part, without being judged.

I will say, however, that there is still a chance that the man and woman may catch feelings for each other down the road, some time, so that should be considered and be made aware of. If you're both single, aren't really interested in anyone at the moment, you're both good looking and you're both straight, it's pretty much inevitable for you to either fall for one another, or at least think about a scenario where you're a couple. This is basic biology here. And the common culprits here are usually our friends who may see us together and be like "wow you two make a great couple lol" or just outright say to your faces that y'all should cut the bs and start dating each other already, or "the chemistry is RIGHT THERE" and they may be right. Being friends is an important foundation of dating someone and being long term partners, and even though the thought of each other never crossed your mind before, any of these phrases above are enough to make you think of them once. Again, you might still catch yourself from swaying, but what about the other person?

Now coming onto your last bit where you said why men are always falling for you, well to answer your question, first of all, you're not the only one in this boat and I'm sure a lot women here may have told you already how they experience the same. As for the why, it's pretty obvious if you think about it. Do you know how difficult it has actually become for an ordinary man to find a long term partner and a stable, healthy relationship in today's world? Not talking about the creeps here and Tate worshippers who think that the only thing a woman is good for is to leave everything when her husband walks in through the front door, get on her knees and suck his dick in broad daylight, right there at the entrance. But yeah, aside from living in a world where you're painted as guilty until proven innocent and a world where if you so much as smile at a woman or a little kid walking down the street, you're labeled as a creep, sex offender and a pedophile, life is hard for us, and I'm not saying that to gain anyone's sympathy either, but just stating a fact. It is what it is. Men have become increasingly lonely over the years and most of them yearn for affection and love from the opposite gender, but they just can't and end up dying from depression or killing themselves because a female co-worker or a girl they liked shot them down and called them a creep.

[Datboi65]

NO. Men and women cannot be friends, unless the man in question is gay.

Truth of the matter is, if you have a man as your friends, he most definitely is thinking of smashing if you give him a chance. He won't think twice if you give him the green light. Don't believe me? Let's do a fun experiment:

Text your male best friend that you always wanted to be intimate with him, and post the screenshot here while blurring your name and his. You will see that most of the time I'm right. If you don't wanna do it, then you know deep down that you don't wanna lose that friendship because if you try it he will probably say yes, and then you will be put in an awkward spot.

The reason why I emphasize on this so much is because if a man is with a woman, he does not want her having male friends for this reason. Would a woman be comfortable with a man having a female friend that looks clearly attracted to him? No. Hell, girls don't even like you liking other women's pictures, but they are totally fine posting bikini pictures online for other dudes to like 🤦🏾‍♂️

And yes by the way, I keep the same standard for myself. I don't plan on having an "female friends" it's either we're together, or I don't know you like that. That's how it should be.

[sheenagwapa]

i'm religious who is extremely confident of Jesus existence and i just wanna share that the the difference between religious people and non-religious is SELF-CONTROL. that's JUST the only difference that's why i hate it when people tey to insinuate that it's because i just don't understand them when i actually understand them deeply. i think it's fine the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor

just always focus on Jesus to acoid sins especially serious obes like cheatinh on your spouse

[jennifer_bloom]

It depends on the man and the woman. I've been friends with guys that did not want to date me but they had boundaries - we could hang out at school but not off campus. We could text or email but could not be alone together outside of class cause it would be a romantic gesture. We could talk about God and life but not about our romantic history.

[SoIcyGang]

It's funny to me that people think there must be no attraction. Because desperate men pretend to be friends with women hoping to get laid, that means men and women can't be friends? That's bullshit.

Of course they can. And they can fuck eachother too and still be friends.

There's plenty of ways for men and women to be friends and the rules aren't dictated by desperate men. There's lot of them though, that's why there's so much denial about the possibility. The desperation of so many men ruins everything for the rest of us.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Ways I can be just friends with a woman:

1. If I don't find her attractive physically.

2. If I don't find her attractive mentally (ie no common interests/hobbies or just different views) - I should note she has to have at least one thing in common to even stay my friend, but much more in common for me to be interested in a relationship.

3. If she is more than 10 years older or younger than me.

4. If she's not in my country.

5. If she's a parent.

6. If she's taken.

Basically dealbreakers in general.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, my best friend (who's a guy), was someone I used to 'date'. I say that because we hung out a few times, used to make out, but he also ended up being one of the worst makeouts I've ever had. I currently dont find him sexually attractive, but I do like his personality, which makes us good friends. He and I have talked about it, and we're both on the same page. He currently has a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend, and we all get along well. My boyfriend knows about our history, and he doesn't mind.

I think you can 100% be friends with guys even if they are/were attracted to you. As long as they respect your boundaries and dont cross them, and know that you only see them as a friend, I think its absolutely possible.

[wysiwyg2525]

To all the guys on here that say no are wrong. Stop thinking with your dick and think with your head. Yes you can be friends with a girl & girls can have guy friends. So if your a guy & you got friends as guys does that make you gay? Your probably they thatvlooks around in the locker room showers. Look just because you have friends as girls don't mean you want sex. There is no what if questions. Until you realize that you will always be questioning yourself.

[shaysh87]

I think its definitely possible. I have seen it happen where a man and a woman are just plain friends. Don't let these idiots tell you it never ever happens. But men and women tend to only be loose friends (not close friends). It is also possible for a man and woman to be best friends but its extremely rare.

Women tend to find it easier to be friends with a man than it is for a man to be friends with a woman. The reason is because men are significantly more sexual than women.

[DenizLikesTennis]

I am a good guy, so you can only befriend me and not for something more😜

Alright now seriously, yes you can be friends with a woman. You both feel that there are no feelings for more but a friendly chit chat

Requirements:

-less physical intimacy (still, there is a little)

-The Conversation leads nowhere and it's casual

[crossdressingrihno]

Men women aren’t good friends unless it’s a group activity or the man is gay.
Guys and gals can’t be full bros because bros have experienced life as man and can largely understand each other’s needs but women lack that ability… oh and the guy probably wants to get between her legs or woman wants to open her legs.

[Grond21]

If they're participating in the hookup culture men and women cannot be friends. Because everyone they find even slightly attractive is now someone they will be sexually pursuing or looking at through a sexual usery filter.

But for those not participating in it? Of course. There are a thousand and one examples of men and women, whether they find each other attractive or not, who are great platonic friends

[UnknownSwede]

It can happen, but it's not unusual that with a deeper connection there will be sexual or romantic tension.
I have have had some close friends that were women over the years, in real life. Not anyone that I hang out with anymore, because life happens and you drift a part.

[Anonymous]

I never understand how that’s even a question, I mean there can be some sexual tension on one side or the other but we’re human it’s normal I don’t see any issue - but I can see it in my male friends they feel rejected if I say no to sex basically? I don’t really understand

[Blueeyes81]

Can it happen, sure. But I'd say it's rare, like really rare. Men don't generally seek out female friends. We seek out attractive females and for one reason or another it never progressed so we remain friends but would fuck her if the opportunity arose.

[MrJMM]

People who say that Men and Women can’t be friends are wrong because unless he’s gay or wants to sleep secretly with that friend or the girl wants to sleep with him is a sad and pathetic excuse. Like what the fuck guys? You guys need therapy and psychological help.

[A_Bell]

In my more wild years I had a number of male friends, some I even had sex with, usually due to the involvement of alcohol. We never had a romantic connection. and the physical one was incidental.

[Bethany22]

No they can't. Most men that are friends with women are friends because they want to have sex with them. Women really appreciate men that just want to be friends, but those men are rare

[mobiusforniner]

To all the girls who say guys and girls can be friends- would any of your guy friends, if given the opportunity, will want to date or sleep with you?

[TroyDT2]

Yes. My best friend is female. Might as well be brother and sister. Those who say otherwise are slaves to their hormones.

[Apulu_Imback]

Oh yes they can be, they are just like cousins. But it will work when you both don't feel romantic about each other.

[Dinklex3]

Of course.

I have friends who are happily married. Friends who are engaged. & Friends who are single.

[Chazmatazz269]

Yes, as long as neither of them are harboring sexual or romantic attraction. I have yet to hear or read a reasonable argument to the contrary.

[HaveNoName]

If there is the slightest bit of physical appreciation or the slightest bit of sexual tension, then NEVER. You are only delusional to think you are "just friends".