Can men and women be friends without someone catching feelings?

[Anonymous]

Someone brought this up to me. They said he believes from personal experience of being friends with females that men and women , when both straight, can’t be just friends because someone usually catches feelings and the friendship is started for that reason. He brought it up because at my job I have plenty of female friends. I’m a person that’s will take in Almost everyone as a friend (only no if they do something disrespectful to me, a friend or family member). But I kind of agree that some friendships with men and women are started based on someone being attracted to the other. Because that’s sometimes my case. But if they’re not attracted I’m able to put my feelings to the side and be a friend

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

This is so common here in Japan that I'm so culture-shocked when people claim it's impossible. Like this:

Typical Japanese group of friends.

That said, we do some things that might help. For a start, we usually hang out in relatively large groups. We don't hang out one-on-one that much. I think that might be one of the most helpful things we do since if a male and female friend hang out one-on-one all the time, just the two of them, that might pose a greater risk of catching feelings for each other. When we hang out in groups, there's much less risk of that happening.

Also we invite our girlfriends/boyfriends into our groups. For example, if a close female friend of mine gets a boyfriend, she invites him to our group and we become friends with him too. Even if I found the girl very attractive before, I can now easily resist any feelings I might develop to see her as more as a friend thanks to "bro code". Since her boyfriend is now my close friend too, it is easier to resist developing any feelings now that she is taken.

Another thing that helps is that it's not that hard to get dates here. Even average Japanese man gets dates pretty easily. I think lots of time when people start crushing on their friends in a lopsided way, it's because they have a hard time getting dates so they start developing romantic desires towards the one person who hangs out with them all the time. We're generally not that desperate here in Japan.

That said, occasionally you do have an antisocial Japanese guy who starts developing a crush on one of the friends in our group. That happened with one of the guys in our group who started crushing on my close female friend. She hated him though and it's usually only really desperate guys who can't get dates any other way who do that here and they will quickly get rejected.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also because Japanese are not so desperate for dates, I think we are much more picky about it (especially with respect to personality). Like the average Japanese guy might be about as picky about which girls he wants to date as the average American girl. As a result, many Japanese guys might have multiple really attractive female friends but they only consider them friends because they aren't their type (personality-wise).

I have many beautiful female friends who are close to me (known each other for over 15 years now), for example, but they aren't my type personality-wise. Even when I was a bachelor, I knew that we would almost certainly be incompatible with each other if we dated even though we have great times with each other as friends. So I never developed feelings for them besides friendship.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Think of young Brad Pitt as an exaggerated example. He can probably be close friends with many beautiful women without any risk of catching stronger feelings because he can date practically any woman he wants. He doesn't have to desperately start crushing on one of his friends who only sees him as a friend.

Average Japanese guy might not have *that* many options but he has options, so he doesn't have to crush on one of his female friends who isn't his type that way. We make clear distinction between "friend material" and "wife material".

[SciencePreacher]

Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Okay, pansy. But let me tell ya, segregation is key in the friendship game, especially when it comes to PAWGs and MILFs. Now, listen up, buddy. The Bible, in the book of Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, talks about two people being better off than one, for if they fall, the one will lift up the other. But this applies only to holy matrimony, not those filthy "friendships" you're talking about. After all, 1 Corinthians 6:18 clearly says, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body."

What your jobbie is trying to say is that having close friendships with the opposite sex is a recipe for disaster. I mean, look at Proverbs 5:3-6, it says that the lips of an immoral woman are as soothing as honey, but in the end, she is as bitter as gall. And just look at Proverbs 7:12-13, where it mentions the woman at the window, who's as seductive as sin, luring men in with her deceptive charm and bedtime scrabble stories.

The truth is, my friend, you're just not as wise as you think. GALATIANS 6:3 tells us that if we get into the habit of judging painful illness, we can be certain we have plenty of minute diseases of the same sort within us, even if we don't know it. So next time you think you're just being friends with a GILF or a BBW, just remember, friends don't let friends fall into the traps of horniness. It's time to repent and start praying, so you don't end up like the people in Jude 1:8, who turned away from God and followed the way of Balaam, who loved the wages of unrighteousness. I mean, just look at Numbers 25:1-5... that's some scary stuff, dude!

So my advice to you is to stay far away from temptation and focus on your relationship with God. After all, Psalm 16:11 says that in God's presence, there is fullness of joy and pleasures for evermore. So why settle for a com-jar when you can have a vessel of heavenly bliss, am I right?

[Paul09]

Holy moly. Think for yourself.

[SciencePreacher]

@Paul09 no, thinking is normal. I'm not @normalboringguy

[IslaTheWitch]

sure... I have friends; we text, visit each other, and meet as a larger group. Two of my male friends are singles, and we are still friends; we don't look for any romantic feelings between us. We treasure the friendship that lasted years...

But it requires clear rules and boundaries from the very beginning.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

And no, you give those "friends" half a chance to smash or start a relationship and 85% + of the time women find those friends have been hiding if not romantic feelings but sexual attraction.

Basically, men LIE and just like a predator will camouflage and hide the truth until hoping for something to happen. They will look you dead in the eye and tell you exactly the opposite but will still secretly want something more.

[Asker]

I mean personally I do like find pretty much all the women I talk to attractive. If they’re not interested i know where I stand and don’t force anything. Unless it’s like this lady I found out today that developed feelings for me. Or if they have a man, I don’t dare mess with that but also I feel guilty and bad if I stop talking to someone when they want to be friends so I’ll still keep in touch but just as friends. But I will consistently tell them I don’t have feelings but with me they know I just don’t mention it to not make things awkward or weird between us. But I’m not no predator or anything where I’ll attack them lol

[IslaTheWitch]

@XXTruthfulOgrexx I understand you have your opinion. But it doesn't work like that. My best friend's wife is during an emergency C-section. He keeps our hands locked because he needs physical touch and support. He has cried since yesterday all the time. His wife and two girls are in danger.

I'm his friend, not some woman from outside. We have known each other for over 15 years. I was at their wedding, and I was taking care of them when both were hit by covid at the same time. I know him longer than his wife, but it doesn't matter. Because I'm a friend and she is his wife. And now I'm here for both of them, as both wanted me to come.

And even if any of my male friends feel physically attracted, it's something they have to work on. Or just accept it and don't focus on it. Part of our brain reacts on an animalistic level, and we can only accept that and not give in to our primal urges. Because we are sentient and we can make the choice.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

You basically just proved what I said with this statement
"even if any of my male friends feel physically attracted, it's something they have to work on. Or just accept it and don't focus on it."

This is entirely my point. They lie about it hoping for a chance. They will camouflage it for years if necessary in hopes for an opportunity.

Your one example cam easily be one of the exceptions. As I stated it is possible, just not probable. For every 1 real friendship, I'd bet there are easily 10+ that are hidden feelings.

[IslaTheWitch]

@XXTruthfulOgrexx physical attraction is not a feeling. And it disappears with time if not addressed. You easily omitted the part I wrote about our brain.
We are not animals, we do conscious choices.

[naartjie]

Nope. There is no changing my mind and this does come with personal experience.
Don’t get into a relationship if you’ve got a best friend of the opposite sex. Your partner is your best friend.
Either way, that situation never works out. Ever.

[OlderAndWiser]

I really dislike the expression "catching feelings." It sounds like you are talking about a disease. Aside from that. . .

Doesn't friendship involve feelings?

[Sonorous]

Gonna go with yeah because I have done it. But I wasn't attracted to those women to begin with so it wasn't hard.

[D_Bone_Steak]

No.

No

No.

No

No.

Just No

[McLlovin]

No. I Already been through that scenario. Just give it time, eventually if none of you finds anyone you will or they will, start catching feelings. Sometimes it someone already did and just waiting. Its even possible for a guy to be subconsciously chasing her and not even know it, especially if you've been friends for a loooing time.


If you both truly desire to be JUST friends then boundaries should be super important for both of you because between opposite gender, Whether you like it or not, friendship with no boundaries will lead to things. Natural instincts is going to push for it.





both need to already be in a relationship for friendship to be possible even then its still possible but unlikely. Depending on the strength of your relationship with your partner.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Can it happen, absolutely however the truth is overwhelmingly is no. Men are very skilled at hiding their true feelings and intentions.

The true question becomes the possibility vs the probability. Is it possible? yes, buy truthfully is it probable? Often, no it isn't. If you have male friends as female, especially attractive women, men who ate friends, when given the chance will jump at a romantic and or sexual relationship if offered even if they spent years as the platonic friend and only then will admit they had feelings the entire time.

[boggboss]

Yes its possible the issue is many are not honest and make friends with the other gender hoping more will develop I have a few females in my life that I would consider friends some I think are attractive others I don't but I treat them as that friends and dont wish for that dynamic to change so I dont push boundaries or treat them inappropriately

[selfish-and-cruel]

Men are awful friends. Sooner or later, they want more than just hanging out or watching anime together.

[Asker]

She told me I’m a great friend and called me her best friend tho lol. But I get what you mean. I just don’t fit under that stereotype or description. I have 2 females that call me their best friend so I think I’m a good friend

[Crankor]

Not really. One or the other will always catch feelings. The one exception I guess is you already dated and decided to be just friends afterwards but even then there's the possibility their will be casual flings until one or the other has something serious

[Anonymous]

Nope feelings get int he way usually it's rare to trust be friends. Someone will always want the other.

Couples can be friends more easy then singlesn

[Cody2004]

You know I would have said yes but now I'm dating my best friend so I don't know any if that's possible who knows what else is possible

[Alex-Snow]

Of course. I have some great female friends that I can chat with (even about sex) and we stay friends and just that

[tzdc21]

Yes. They can. I wouldn't bank on it happening a lot but yes.

[Wraith_Cemetery]

No they cannot and the ones saying "Yes" are lying to themselves.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Absolutely. Helps if one of them is fugly though.

[On_cloud_wine]

lol…

[Nikki1989]

Well, obviously.

Most of my friends are male and always have been.

[Nikki1989]

And the guys on here saying they can't are the kind of men NO woman would be to be friends with anyway.

[JacobJordan]

In 20+ years have never seen it happen. But hey I am sure someone will eventually manage it.

[Anonymous]

If both are already banging more attractive people, then yes. But then they're probably more likely to spend more of their free time with said more attractive people and so their friendship may not be a huge priority.

[KrakenAttackin]

This question is a other tired GAG question.

[JayBones]

Sure. Most of my friends are girls. Not even 10% of the woman I deal with everyday would that even remotely be a possibility.

[Yannae]

I can confirm that they can. If you're not attracted to her sexually, it's good.