Am I being unreasonable? Parents want me to pay rent.

[KikiSunshine]

I'm 21 years old and I still live at home. I make really good money but only have a part time job so I'm saving up before I move out which should be within the next year or so. Basically I bought my own car brand new (paying for it myself), I buy all my own clothes, make up, gas, insurance, cell phone etc. My mom recently said I should pay $100 rent which isn't a lot I know. But I said I didn't think I should considering I already pay my own way so much. I know it's only $100 but I mean I'm an only child, we're not "poor" by any means and I know how to be responsible with my money. She's mad at me for saying this so I'd like to hear what you guys think?

[palek]

You say that you have a part time job. Why only part time? Are you in school? If you are not in school, and only work part time, it seems as though you're, in a sense, carefree, driving a new car, eating and sleeping at your parents house. You say that you pay for your own clothes, makeup, etc., as though you think this is something more than what you should do. At the age of 21, why why would you expect your parents to still be supporting you? They raised you, hoping that by the age of 21, at the latest, I suspect, you would be self-sufficient. I don't mean to sound harsh, but it's time to take flight, make your own way, and give them their house back. Make them proud. Assure them that they raised you well. They may be afraid that if they don't encourage you to make your own way, that you might just decide to stay around forever.

[KikiSunshine]

I'm pretty much full time but its very inconsistent hours so when I have a consistent pay check I'm going to put it towards a down payment on an apartment. My mom wants me to wait until they drop down in price (and really isn't excited about me moving out haha). The point I was making was that I haven't asked my parents for anything since I was 16 and that I am responsible when it comes to payments etc. I've been itching to move out so most likely by the end of the year I can.

[palek]

I didn't mean to imply that your parents want to get rid of you, as I'm sure they love you dearly. It's just the natural progression of things for your kids to move out into the world, and build a life of their own. It just seems that $100 per month is a nominal amount for room and board, and may be intended to nudge you toward self-dependence.

[KikiSunshine]

Haha yeah I know. It is a reasonable amount so I really shouldn't complain. Thanks.

[AJtogo]

You're contributing to your own upkeep but what about the household upkeep? Heat, light, cable, groceries, phone, repairs, all cost money and it's not unreasonable to ask you to contribute if you are able to. Are you planning on living rent free when you move out? I know, the answer is no; so why should you live rent free at home.

I did this with both my kids when they started working. 30% of their net income came to the household fund and was used for the benefit of all of us living in the house.

[KikiSunshine]

There is only three of us and I never ask them for money for anything. I'm saving up for a down payment on an apartment so I figure if I'm there for another year that's $1,200 that could go towards insurance or some such thing. I hate to sound spoiled but my parents aren't having trouble paying the bills. If that were the case I wouldn't have a problem. Thanks for commenting :)

[AJtogo]

It's not a matter of having trouble with bills; it's a matter of you paying your own way in their household. It's sounds as if you're financially responsible and it's great that you're saving up to move out. Your parents request for board money isn't unreasonable and it sounds like you aren't having any financial trouble yourself and should be able to pay.

[AJtogo]

Btw. $3.30 a day is a great deal for a roof over your head and food in your belly.

[KikiSunshine]

Ugh. I know. I just think of how that money could go towards 3 or 4 car payments haha. Maybe I can work something out where I pay a certain bill or two.

[AJtogo]

That may be a reasonable compromise. My son actually did this and it satisfied all involved.

[MOMhere]

Look I am a mom, single and a have 2 young adults at home. They both work and neither one of them contribute anything. To be honest I never ask them too. I am about to start making them each take responsibility for 1 household bill. (they already take care of their cell phone bills) My son is a big time gamer, so he is getting the cable, wifi bill. My daughter the energy hoarder is getting the electric bill. I will continue with food & rent. It's not really about me being greedy... but rather I need to know that when I am unable to take care of them, they will have the tools to be responsible and have priorities... and no, my electric is hardly more than 50 bucks a month. I need to teach her that air conditioning cost $ to run, so AC to cool and windows open for fresh air is a no no. And at noon, every light in the house doesn't need to be on. SO... it won't kill them to pay those & teach them at the same time

[arsenal25]

wow that's really good I wish I was like that! I never had like a real job, one month during the summer. I think you are not being unreasonable at all. You already pay for everything and you are the only child, not to mention it doesn't seem like your parents need money. And what does 100$ do, its not like its alot. Its kind of weird she wants you to pay that as a rent. May be she was pissed off or mad about something?

[KikiSunshine]

Maybe. I don't know. She doesn't work but she figures she has to and my step dad is unsure about his job but yet he went out and bought a newer truck. And $100 maybe pays a bill or two but IDK. That's $1,200 a year that could go towards my insurance or a down payment. Ugh! Glad you agree though :)

[arsenal25]

Wow yea I never looked at it that way 1200 now sounds allot lol makes me rethink the stuff I spend my money on every month that I don't need to and so guilty I have never paid a bill in my life :( i

[MOMhere]

arsenal25 ?
What are you going to do when someone can't support you? Your 31 and never paid 1 bill? Ever?
I'm sorry, but that is scary. Whomever is supporting you is NOT doing you any favors...

[V-Girl]

You sound very responsible. I'm not sure why older people want you to pay "room & board"

They feel that they are feeding you & doing your laundry that they should be compensated.

Explain about how that is going to go for school. Ask if you give it to her & then when you go back to school can you have your money back to pay for books etc.

[KikiSunshine]

Yeah, I understand if things are tight but they're really not at my house. I mentioned something about getting the money back before but who knows. It doesn't come up often. Just when she's stressed out haha.

[Drewzito]

You are in tricky situation. I would say if you have a job making minimal wage or in college to not pay rent but you sound like your doing well for yourself.

My parent tried to make me pay rent well I was in college and basically refused to. My parents never charged my other brothers and sisters so I didn't think it was fair for them to charge me for rent. I don't see why parents try to hustle money out of there own kids unless your parents are basically barely making it, and need the extra bit to survive.

I would say use your guy, do you feel guilt not giving them money? Do you think they actually need it? If you can answer yes to both of those questions I would say then PAY. If you answer no to both of those questions, then I say FORGET ABOUT IT.

[KikiSunshine]

They definitely don't need it, even if my stepdad loses his job, there is always work for him. I mean he just bought a new truck! And my parents are good with their money so yeah. No guilt haha.

[Drewzito]

Notice of the answers change based on age category. I know someone over 35 disagreed with me. Parents should not try to syphon off money from the own children when they don't need any money.

[KikiSunshine]

Haha yeah I noticed that as well. But I agree with you. It's one thing if your parents need the money, of course if you can help you should. Otherwise you should encourage your kids to maybe put away that money for savings.

[filinsky]

I totally agree with you! thank god my parents are not like that. they don't mind supporting me financially their whole life. they were even opposed to me moving out and convinced me to choose a near home university so that I can stay with them and not be obliged to leave. I'm blessed for I have never faced that kind of pressure in my 20 years!

[TheAntares]

I have the same issue, and I think parents are just being jerks in this matter. Having a home is necessary for security (especially the familiar original home you had since childhood). If parents want their children to pay rent, they actually turn themselves into a landlord that can eventually kick you out (it makes it hard for me to love my parents for this). And that's the point - you may run out of money and suddenly appear in streets and have nowhere to go. Your parents won't obviously help you, because they removed the last piece of security you had in this world. And being secured is something every human needs to live. Housing is even one of the most essential human needs, according to Maslow, and putting a price tag on it just makes it inaccessable to all people who need it (that means ALL people).
TL;DR - Parents are jerks and refuse to give you the security you always need.

[filinsky]

thank god I have never experienced this kind of thing. my parents will never hear of it.

[filinsky]

Well, I don't think they should. they are your parents after all. I'm 20 years old and I still live with my parents too. But I don't pay them anything and they will even laugh at the idea of paying your parents. It is incumbent upon parents to support their children whatever their age for as long as they are capable and their children will repay them when they get old by taking care of them and not sending them to a nursing home. filial piety is all the payment they need from you. being a good attentive and loving daughter is everything to them. that is, of course, my family 's perspective and mine too. I can't imagine being obliged to pay rent. it's laughable.

[Little-Hippie]

I started paying rent when I was 18.

[BattleKitten77]

Unreasonable and selfish