How do I get out of the bro-zone?

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine just bro-zoned me. I'm not interested in him romantically, but his line ("No offense, but I don't think of you as a girl. I think of you as a girl bro") just made me think about what kind of image I'm giving off. What can I do to get out of the bro-zone? I just don't want to be labeled automatically as a "bro" by guys I meet, especially those I'm interested in.

I'm kind of a tomboy, in that I prefer playing video games than worrying about makeup and stuff.

Just a few facts: I'm 25 and I've never had a boyfriend. I know I'm not ugly (I've been called cute/pretty/beautiful by strangers and acquaintances) and I think I'm nice. I have a casual attitude, I smile a lot, although I am pretty shy. A guy friend of mine said I can get pretty intimidating especially since I'm smart and my family's a bit well-off. I don't know if these play a factor, but I just thought I'd mention these.

[ketfoen]

You don't have to be scared that every guy will automatically brozone you, it's more likely that only friends of your bro-friend will do that, but not all guys on the planet.

Tomboy's are a bit intimidating to most guys, speaking out of my own experience with such girls, because they don't give the signs that they are interested and their strong attitude and probably hitting them hitting and kicking me also got me seeing them in another way, though it was always fun hanging out with them.

If you do find a guy that you like, maybe feminine up a bit to show your interest, he'll catch on quick about that, that's if he's not a dimwit of course.

[KERMlT]

He didn't pick up on the sexual vibe because you weren't sending one out. Who cares if he brozoned you, no big loss. In fact, it might be a small blessing. It is a bit annoying to be hit on by a friend that you don't find attractive.

The right guy will find you perfect for him. I wouldn't change yourself to try and attract someone. Be yourself and he will notice how wonderful you are.

[Asker]

That's true.:) Thanks for the encouragement. I got kind of down because the guy I'm interested in somehow got cold feet so nothing happened between us, so I thought there must be something wrong with me and that's why things never seem to work out.

[KERMlT]

I enjoy the company of women who typically have more male friends. I'm sure my S.O. is in the brozone with most of her male friends and that's not an issue. I find her very attractive because we get each other. Things happen for a reason though we may not know why. Just stay optimistic and open to possibilities. I believe that everyone has the opportunity to find love if they so choose to.

[CrystalMinds]

You can't. You can try by acting/looking more feminine (heels, make up, dresses, ...) but the fact that you're such good friends and so close, made him look at you as one of the guys. Maybe the fact that you're a tomboy made him think that too. But you shouldn't change yourself, I mean: if you couldn't care less about make up, don't wear it just to get him to see you as a girl.

But if you really want him to see you as a girl instead of one of the guys, go for a girlie girl look/attitude :)

[MikeK]

If you're "not interested in him romantically", then what do you care if he "bro-zoned" you?

[Asker]

Simple, really. It made me think that the reason why things didn't work out with the guys I liked and who liked me back is probably because I ended up brozoned by them as well.

[MikeK]

What goes around comes around...