How can I let him regret letting me go..?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking with this guy for about two months, we were hitting it off quite nicely (at least that's what I thought) I developed real strong feelings for him, more than any other guy I ever talked to and I don't really know why, he's not that special but somehow I like every little thing about him.

Just yesterday we were talking, everything was going good but somehow we opened up a subject and he ended up telling me that he sometimes feel I deserve better than him, and I can't expect more from him 'cause this is as far s he goes and he's afraid he'll end up hurting me. I told him that I don't really expect him to change and I'd be willing to stay if we had a relationship no matter what.

But if it's him who doesn't want a relationship he can just say it.

He said he wanted this, but there's an equal side of him that tells him to just stop.

Anyway, after that he told me that he thinks we should just stay friends..

I said it was cool and that I'd always be here if he needed me.

But you can guess that it's actually not cool right? That I was shattering into pieces?

But my hurt didn't last long, it turned into anger as soon as my best friend filled me in on the conversation the guy I like and her boyfriend (who is his friend) had.

He had told her boyfriend that he never really had any feelings for me from the start, that he doesn't think I'm 'hot' enough and to add to the fire he was more than willing to set me up with a different guy.

What's crazy is that he was leading me on from the start when he felt absolutely nothing, talking about a future with me, making me fantasize and believe like a love struck teenage girl.

I'm just So angry and hurt.

I know he might not feel anything for me but still I want him to regret this.. To regret playing with me... Letting me go...

Any advice? I'd be more than grateful.

[journeyman1126]

The key word that sticks in my mind is "let."

You should let him regret it.

Letting someone feel bad means you do so well without them, that it doesn't bother you to rub their nose in it.

Buy the best outfit you've ever owned. Find a better man. Go to whatever is the local hotspot or event with the new guy in the new outfit.

And when you see this douche that talked all the smack behind your back, introduce the better man, and make sure to point out what's better, in a coy way. "Here's Ryan, he's the mayor's son." or whatever will make a jerk like your crush feel like sh*t, get jealous, and self-destruct.

Most of all just be selfish in the act of moving on. Think of self improvement. Focus intently on yourself. Do things you'd ignore if you were with him, and let him know you've accomplished them in an easy way. Such as telling your friend who's dating his friend and letting the rumor mill do the work.

Good luck.

[Asker]

Your comment made me smile :) so thank you

And yeah I will do great without him, I'll be a tough girl if anything, just to annoy him.

And I'll show him that I'm doing just fine without him.

[journeyman1126]

Moving on is part of the game.

Although using that phrase to describe it brings up the idea of players, which I don't like.

So I get called a hater...

When I'm just a lover who believes in loyalty and respect.

Which seems to be missing in most players.

[Asker]

Yeah I get you. Though it's hard to find guys like that nowadays.. Or maybe I'm just bad at looking :/

[journeyman1126]

It's not you.

It's the pressure guys have to sleep around in order to get the reputation they want. Even if they don't want it.

At the risk of cutting out a lot of guys that aren't really dogs, I'd say to avoid anyone whom people describe as a "stud."

[Asker]

Thank you, I'll keep that in mind :)

[journeyman1126]

I think you dodged a bullet this time.

Consider how you would have felt, eventually. Dating someone who would talk about you so bad behind your back, it would be nearly impossible to not sense their condescension face to face.

You'd have felt bad being around them, and felt bad after you got some time to yourself.

You were lucky to have someone there who could tell you how he really was when you were not around.

[Jonny_]

You can't really make someone feel something... If he was fully interested he'd have put up more of a fight. You shouldn't worry about it, you're young and even by my age you'd look back at it as just a memory and nothing more.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess, I just feel stupid for believing him that's all..

And thank you

[harveykinkle]

He didn't really play with you... I think you went into it with too many expectations and prior to this you never discussed it.

If you're only looking for a relationship, make that known in the beginning. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of guys aren't looking for anything serious.

Before you do anything with a guy and get your emotions involved ask him what he's looking for. Usually the ones not looking for anything serious will tell you that. It's uncomfortable to bring up but will end up saving you a lot of heart ache.

[Asker]

Actually, he was the one who told me that he wanted a relationship with me, but said we should take it slow. I didn't want anything with him in the begging but he managed to steal my heart through our talks, I just.. Didn't know he was not planning on giving it back...

[razrqueen]

Its not worth it. By taking the time to think of revenge, you are preventing yourself from moving on. You deserve closure after this, but trying to manipulate him is only going to hurt you more. I hate to say it because I know it will be really hard for you, but you need to try to think of other things. Get obsessed with a new TV show that you have been meaning to watch or start a hobby. Whatever will get your mind off of him is worth it, especially as summer approaches. Best of luck and hang in there, it will get better

[Asker]

Thank you, yeah you're right.. He's just not worth it...

[Anonymous]

Sweetie, at this point you should not be focusing on this guy- PERIOD.

You should not be focusing on making him change (which you never mentioned but I'm saying this in case it's even a THOUGHT in your head)

You should not focus on making him like you and you should not focus or waste anytime trying to analyze ANYTHING and figure out a way to let him regret letting you go. You should let him go and don't look back, move FORWARD with your life. That's all you should focus on. Forget this guy.

[Asker]

I know, that's what I should be doing, it's hard but I'll try my best...

Thank you

[Youblw666]

Wow, what a complete a**hole. Some guys will do that, as well as girls, play games with your head. I know, I've been there and done that...Best thing to do is move on, he apparently isn't worth your time. You can find a guy that will appreciate you and love you, and when that guy comes along you'll definitely see the difference. Because a guy that's truly interested in you, will go out of their way to win your heart. Let him go...Jerks like that end up bitter and alone anyway.

[Asker]

Thank you, your comment made me smile :) and yeah I'm going to forget him 'cause he's just nit worth it..