Is it OK for me to discuss a troubled relationship with a mutual female friend?

[Kevin1a]

I have a female friend who I dated for a short time. Being non-religous and somewhat liberal in a very religious,very conservative city I know a lot of people, but I truly connect with very few who share my values and interests. This girl did. Also, almost all of my close friends are women because I just get along with them better. My friend broke off our dating claiming that she needed time because she recently got out of a relationship. At the time I said I was OK taking a break, but the truth is I will probably never be able to see her in the light of being “just a friend.” We still see each other very often, and we still spend time together regularly, but things have changed. She always seems distant, and often unhappy. On one hand, she was still willing to spend 10-11 hours with me at a music festival that cost upwards of $40, but the whole time she was on her phone texting. Also, she seems very physically distant something I don't observe when she's around other men. Every once in a while I see the old happiness and cheerfulness blend through for a while. She never will tell me exactly what's up, and when I called her on her negative body language she claimed that she didn't know what I was talking about. I've gone on dates with at least six different women since we stopped seeing each other but I don't feel any real connection, at least not like I felt with her. One of the women, I felt very little connection even from the beginning, but it was fun and took my mind off things. I just want her to tell me what's up and let herself enjoy my company the way she used to. We have a mutual female friend who is in a serious relationship with a man, so she can't be a romantic interest for me. I am pretty close to this second girl as friends. My question is, how acceptable is it for me to discuss my problem with this second girl and get some advice? I'm worried that it will reflect badly on my image as a very put together, collected guy. I'm the boss, and I act like it, which is why girl one was attracted to me in the first place. I keep my feelings inside most of the time so as not to seem needy and emotional. I embody the male gender role, and don't want role reversal to happen because that kills relationships or makes them very strange. I feel like our mutual friend could really help me find clarity on this issue because as a woman and someone who knows the both of us she has a unique position of insight on the issue. I considered talking to girl one and telling her that while I appreciate the fact that she takes time out of her busy schedule (she's in a very professional, demanding career- think doctor or lawyer) to hang out with me, but I feel disrespected when she spends time on her phone when we're together and I want her to share the root of her negative body language and whatever is bothering her with me. Is it OK for me to get advice from girl 2 or is this something I have to handle on my own?

[onlyacrush]

Oh man, didn't bother reading all that.

But let me say that I think:

1) If you have problems about your relationship, discuss them with your PARTNER. Fix it yourselves and work something out. I'd hate for why boyfriend to seek advice/solace in some other girl instead of coming to ME.

2) You think of her as more than a "friend". Accept it and know that it will hurt your current relationship eventually if you keep being so close to this girl. Face it, you're not over her and you keep wishing you were WITH her.

[drjohno]

No, it's absolutely wrong to discuss relationship problems with a female. Women's advice on the matter is simply crap. Go for Men with proven long experience with successful relationships. If you had a heart health issue, you'd go to an experienced cardiologist, wouldn't you? BTW I didn't bother going through your whole text because it's too bloody long. Keep it short next time.

[Anonymous]

I''m not going to read the long post I'm just going to answer the main question.

yes it's okay as long as you know she doesn't enjoy starting drama and is able to keep Everything you tell her to her self.

I find femail friends are way eaiser to talk to about things than your male buddies.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that should be advisable since you can vent your feelings out and she can be able to be to give you some insights