WHY friends have never tried to set me up?

[Anonymous]

This may sound odd, and I don't want to say that I feel entitled to my friends setting me up, but I'm 24 years old and have never dated or had a boyfriend. I have a few friends (though I lost some when I had depression) and well they never ever tried to set me up with any of their single friend. Currently the female friends I have don't even introduce me to other friends they have... I hadn't given it much thought until recently and I can't help finding it somehow odd. Even the guy friends I had never set me up or introduced me to their friends.. I remember one I used to talk with a lot always asking if I still was single and having no suggestion.. anyway can this mean I am absolutely "undatable" ? I know they try to set up some of their other friends so why not me?

I'm not awfully ugly, or uneducated. I'm a pretty good friend they always confide in and call for one on one time but not to hang out with other people.. I don't get it.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

First of all... most guys don't give a shit if you're educated. If anything, that's probably a negative because it means that you're all hoity-toity with high expectations.

What you are experiencing does not reflect on you. Maybe they just don't consider you as good a friend as you consider them... who knows? I'm in the same boat you are. Nobody introduces me to anybody else. A few of my lady friends have always pointed out how I'm single and that I need a girlfriend yet they never try to set me up with anyone lol. So, you're not the only one this is happening to.

I am not hideous either... Just last weekend I had a girlfriend that seemed pretty into me. Yeah, just for the weekend... I was out of town.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

Point is, don't worry about it. Really.

[Asker]

don't you find it odd though? I mean if I had plenty of friends, I would organise hangouts and such and all and it wouldn't bother me.. I only have like very few unfortunately because I've been through rather rough months and well things got dull, I didn't go out, stopped talking to a lot of people.. anyway the more I think about it, the more it puzzles me.

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

Thinking about that stuff can lead to negative thoughts. You don't want that in your life. Just continue forward, it is what it is. If you spent your time thinking about all the absurdities in life and the injustice of things then we'd all be in a deplorable condition lol... but trust me, I know what you mean.

[Asker]

You're right, it can make one feel rather down thinking about it but honestly I am at a point where I'd rather just face the truth about me than ignore it

[Jonny_]

I don't know anyone who bothers with that apart from the very rare one or two people and they're generally ex girlfriends who are just doing it for fun. I mean i've been single for over two years and the closest i've had to being set up is my ex asking me how my love life was recently. It could be more a guy thing, but if you want to date someone you have to do all the leg work.

[Asker]

it's odd most couples met through common friends. This has been the number one way couples form. Not necessarily through someone setting them up but through events and such...

[Jonny_]

Well yeah, that's how I met my partners... but my friends have never actively introduced me to any of them. They just generally happened to be there and I introduced myself etc...

[lalalandforevsxo]

I don't think you should worry about it. They probably think you're too good for the friends that they have and don't want to set you up. Some people just don't like to set their friends up with other friends. It's completely normal so don't overthink it.

[Asker]

I shouldn't overthink the fact that they never invite me to hangout with them and other friends? one of my girl friend is in a relationship, she has nights out with plenty of friends and she never invites me, however when she's alone at home, she asks me if we can see each other. I feel like she sort of expects me to be free when she needs because at least she doesn't stay home alone.. I don't know I just find this really odd.

[523206720]

It's not common for people to set their friends up with other people, especially if your relationship with your friends is formal and they may not know that you have that need to be set up.

[Asker]

I don't know what you mean by formal, but they're rather good friends I confide in and they do too. I do avoid the subject of my relationship but they know I'm single. I just don't to sound needy and say "hey do you know any single great guy?" anyway this fact aside, it amazes me that they don't even invite me to hangouts but only see me one on one.

[teasegirl]

They prob see you as too needy and don't want to set you up with their friends.
Or they prob see you as too good for their friends

[Asker]

I'm not sure they' think I'm too good. I don't know, thinking about it I kinda feel like that friend you hide because you're ashamed or something which is crazy because there is no reason for it to be so. And I'm not needy, I have my own life even though I'm single

[teasegirl]

New friends.:. Time for new friends. Those people sound like jerks

[Anonymous]

once my friend told me she wouldn't set me up with her friends because her male friends were all jerks... really that is what she told me

maybe it was a nice way of her telling me I am ugly