For the longest time it's really bothered me that no matter where I work in my adult years my female coworkers never try and pursue a friendship with me. I don't get out a whole lot, so work is the only place I can really meet anyone. I mean, I see others befriending each other and exchanging numbers n stuff but nobody ever asks for mine, or my social media.. never. I'm not a stuck up or prideful person I'm actually really kind, friendly and empathetic. I'm always smiling, being polite and complimentive, even if I don't receive it myself. I'm mostly introverted but only bc I don't know how to start/ hold conversations.. also I'm hard of hearing. Other than that I can be bubbly and extroverted with the right people. Also, I have social anxiety in large groups although nobody would really be able to tell it's mostly internal accept for the fact I'm not really talkative. But aside from all that, why do people not try and grow a connection with me? I just don't understand it.
How come nobody tries to pursue a friendship with me?
"I'm mostly introverted but only bc I don't know how to start/ hold conversations"
You have answered your own question. No one can appreciate your other qualities because they can't get that far.
You need to figure out how to overcome this problem, as it is the KEY to solving your larger problem.
Right now, it's as if you were in a foreign land and didn't speak the language and couldn't read the signs, and you had plenty of valuable skills to earn money - even without being able to speak or read the language - but because you can't even identify which signs say "help wanted", much less which signs indicate a company that might value your skills highly, you're likely to starve to death despite your valuable skills. If only you could get past that initial hurdle of communication, you could be safe and secure with a good job, a place to live, and plenty to eat - but without that initial communication, you're out on the street.
I totally understand and appreciate that it's a huge struggle for you to start and hold conversations... but you also can't expect the world to change for you; when you are outside of the mainstream, it is YOUR job to adapt to the world. Thus, YOU need to work to solve this problem, and once you do, a huge chunk of the world will be open to you that is currently closed to you.
I don't expect the world to change for me. I just don't understand why not a single person out there can appreciate my qualities regardless of my flaws. I just feel like everyone is stuck up.
"I just feel like everyone is stuck up." In other words, "everyone" should change for you.
You're blaming other people for YOUR problem - and that's exactly the attitude that will push people away. You need to accept and OWN your issues, and NEVER blame other people for their reactions to them. By making that change alone, your attitude towards other people will become MUCH more positive - and as a result, you'd much more likely to get people WILLING to do more of the work to break through your barriers. But if you have the attitude that "it's everyone else's fault", then you will send out those vibes and you will drive people away, as I imagine you are doing already.
I'm NOT trying to be mean here, I'm trying to hold up a mirror so that you can see WHY people stay away, and what you can do to change that outcome. You asked the question, and I'm giving you the answer. It may not be the answer you wanted to hear, but it's the truth, and only if you accept the truth can you find a solution to the problem. People who lie to save your feelings can't help you overcome the problem, and in the long run, that's worse for you.
Mam, according to my experience as a teacher, I think people are scared or hesitant to approach you. Like, when there is a very good student who get good marks, is disciplined and overall role model student according to the teachers. Then other students think that this student is out of their league. They ask for help from them but are hesitant in becoming friends.
I'm not talkactive either, I usually work with earphones in shutting myself away from the world, but if you're lucky (or cursed) with a chatty colleague next to you, you're gonna talk regardless, talk, laugh, they get to know you, you get to know them, they come to you for questions, you come to them for questions, you work together, come to a solution, laugh about it, blabla... It takes a bit of time but they'll give you their info, or you give them yours and they'll happily accept it.
And then just... keep in contact, talk about their private life, create a bond, more than just colleagues
I have been through this before and honestly don't bother, who needs you will come to you never push your self into or change the way you are just to be excepted as friend, you just in a different level I mean unique.
I just started a new job about a month ago. Both actually. I feel I can be pretty sociable and interactive with certain people. And some people just seem interested 🤷🏼
Ok, so you're new, that's just gonna take time to generate a rapport with people. I find of you get friendly with one or two people in that group, you can slowly become part of the conversation, be more comfortable and show yourself more, and that will let them get to know you where hanging out outside of work can be a thing. Part of it is fake it until you make it when you put yourself out there. I hate talking to people, and I'm introverted myself, but I fake being outgoing to break the ice, and once I'm comfortable, in just being me
If your looking for just a friend, Put in your application I'm actually looking for a new best friend. And frankly I could give 0 shits, if its online or in person. Just someone to talk to regularly. About anything and everything. Let's see if we click as friends. I learned my lesson and won't fuck this one up,
Usually jealous, especially if you get along with the guys in the office. It happens at my work all the time, the girls love hanging out with the guys but will never want to be with the other girls.
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