How come nobody tries to pursue a friendship with me?

Question

For the longest time it's really bothered me that no matter where I work in my adult years my female coworkers never try and pursue a friendship with me. I don't get out a whole lot, so work is the only place I can really meet anyone. I mean, I see others befriending each other and exchanging numbers n stuff but nobody ever asks for mine, or my social media.. never. I'm not a stuck up or prideful person I'm actually really kind, friendly and empathetic. I'm always smiling, being polite and complimentive, even if I don't receive it myself. I'm mostly introverted but only bc I don't know how to start/ hold conversations.. also I'm hard of hearing. Other than that I can be bubbly and extroverted with the right people. Also, I have social anxiety in large groups although nobody would really be able to tell it's mostly internal accept for the fact I'm not really talkative. But aside from all that, why do people not try and grow a connection with me? I just don't understand it.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

"I'm mostly introverted but only bc I don't know how to start/ hold conversations"

You have answered your own question. No one can appreciate your other qualities because they can't get that far.

You need to figure out how to overcome this problem, as it is the KEY to solving your larger problem.

Right now, it's as if you were in a foreign land and didn't speak the language and couldn't read the signs, and you had plenty of valuable skills to earn money - even without being able to speak or read the language - but because you can't even identify which signs say "help wanted", much less which signs indicate a company that might value your skills highly, you're likely to starve to death despite your valuable skills. If only you could get past that initial hurdle of communication, you could be safe and secure with a good job, a place to live, and plenty to eat - but without that initial communication, you're out on the street.

I totally understand and appreciate that it's a huge struggle for you to start and hold conversations... but you also can't expect the world to change for you; when you are outside of the mainstream, it is YOUR job to adapt to the world. Thus, YOU need to work to solve this problem, and once you do, a huge chunk of the world will be open to you that is currently closed to you.

SunnySri · Accepted Answer

Mam, according to my experience as a teacher, I think people are scared or hesitant to approach you.
Like, when there is a very good student who get good marks, is disciplined and overall role model student according to the teachers. Then other students think that this student is out of their league.
They ask for help from them but are hesitant in becoming friends.

JosyJosy · Accepted Answer

I'm not talkactive either, I usually work with earphones in shutting myself away from the world, but if you're lucky (or cursed) with a chatty colleague next to you, you're gonna talk regardless, talk, laugh, they get to know you, you get to know them, they come to you for questions, you come to them for questions, you work together, come to a solution, laugh about it, blabla... It takes a bit of time but they'll give you their info, or you give them yours and they'll happily accept it.

And then just... keep in contact, talk about their private life, create a bond, more than just colleagues

iseekpinetrees · Accepted Answer

I've semi had similar problems at work. My guess is ur pretty and maybe they are jealous? Or you have more confidence than them

Chikky · Answer

You are very pretty☺☺ But you sound selective, you don't like the friends coming to you and you can't get the particular friends you want

DeeToPlay · Answer

Maybe because you don't talk to people they're just not sure how to approach you to start a conversation or other interaction with you.

NICE2 · Answer

I have been through this before and honestly don't bother, who needs you will come to you never push your self into or change the way you are just to be excepted as friend, you just in a different level I mean unique.

infinitybreaker2018 · Answer

How long have you been at the workplace? Are you wanting more friends or just to be more sociable?

FlashMetal · Answer

If your looking for just a friend,
Put in your application
I'm actually looking for a new best friend.
And frankly I could give 0 shits, if its online or in person.
Just someone to talk to regularly. About anything and everything.
Let's see if we click as friends.
I learned my lesson and won't fuck this one up,

TheCotellian · Answer

They are jealous or you make them insecure There are a few reasons why this would be the case but those are dependent on them predominantly.

Cowboy6666 · Answer

alright you can be my buddy if you want ;) just follow my profile if you want

Anonymous · Answer

tbh id would you can dm me if you like if your really ok with wanting to talk

chriscdi · Answer

maybe you give off a very serious vibe

onlyusernamenottaken · Answer

Usually what happens when you're too pretty 😂😏

Dave31989 · Answer

You have a boyfriend, right?

Iron_Man · Answer

How old are you?

Twenty2 · Answer

Why don't you try?

sexopat31 · Answer

Lets try.

How come nobody tries to pursue a friendship with me?

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Why does no one want to be my friend?

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Why does no one want to be my friend?

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