The girl in the second picture does look like she'd be annoying (as someone else said!) It is an issue of personality here. If she looked really adorable I'd say so. Actually just earlier I looked on a girl's profile picture because of a comment she said that sounded sweet, and she was definitely not a girl you would consider anything above average, but she just looked so sweet the way she was smiling and looking. And that was attractive to me, because she let some of her personality shine through.
The girl in the first picture looks on first impression that she has low self esteem, needs sleep (she has dark bags under her eyes) or is possibly suffering from bulimia/ anorexia. Thus, this is also an issue regarding her inner qualities not being attractive.
It TRULY is what's on the inside that makes the difference in the end.
This means not just whether she is a nice person. But other things as well like belief in herself/ beliefs about herself, self-esteem, confidence, a happy/ pleasant nature. We know that these are important in girls' eyes, but they are also attractive to guys too. And it TRULY is the INNER that makes the difference on how you are PERCEIVED. On whether you are seen as attractive. If you allow your inner beauty to shine on people, this is the most attractive thing of all.
And the second thing is looking after yourself. Don't underestimate what the right haircut, skincare, clothes, can do. Care how you look. Not to be shallow, no it's not that. It's marketing your product (you!) and it WORKS (IF, I repeat IF you have the inner dimension of confidence, self acceptance etc - this is the most important thing in your attractiveness)!
But as I said, the inner self identity change is a must. Change from believing yourself as unattractive. Look for the attractive things about yourself and acknowledge them. Do self development, become a happy person! and take steps to enjoy life more. Laugh more. Become more open. Really, these things are huge, huge, huge. Look at what qualities you value in other people, and find those existing qualities in you, and let them shine! I think you probably have so much to offer. I have found many quiet, average looking girls to have really beautiful sensitive natures. Sure you are not super attractive. It's definitely not about pretending to be someone you're not or to have something you don't. BUT you have made some false assumptions that men only want really attractive girls and taken that as your truth. You have made an assumption that men don't like you because you are not attractive enough. So every time something happens to you you look for the evidence to support those existing beliefs. Instead of asking whether it was your attitude that was sending the wrong message, or was somehow obstructing guys from getting to know you.
Challenge those beliefs. Throw them out. When you change your inner beliefs of who you are and how you see yourself, you will see huge change.
There is a story I happened to be a part of. A female friend of mine was complaining to me how every guy she tries to hook up with never seems to see who she really is. They always treat her like there is nothing special about her or treat her like she is someone else. So I told her:
"Jane, go up to the mirror and tell me who you see."
She looked over herself and said:
"Well, I am wearing very stylish clothes, the latest trend, my hair is dyed blond and I am wearing some lipstick and other make-up."
"Now, knowing what you look like, what would an average person think of you?" "Well... they would say that I am probably the party type and that I like to listen to Indie and I like to hang out with lots of people and go places. And me being so serious and not smiling... I think that could make them feel I have a problem."
So I said "OK, now tell me what kind of a person you REALLY ARE, the inner side you want people to notice."
"Well, I am intelligent, I like to read books and I love going for a quiet walk in the park. I also like soothing piano instrumental music and I would love to live in Nepal." I smirked, laughed and said:
"Now, do you see the difference? People try to put on different clothes, go with the trend to show style, to show their "identity", to show who they really are. But what they don't understand is that by going with the trend they usually end up looking like... everybody else. They hide their own personality. Compared to who you really are, you dress like a completely different person. People judge you by the looks, whether you want it or not, and when a guy approaches you he expects to see the "party type girl" and not the "romantic intelligent girl". Now, you think about that, try to dress up as a girl you really are."
She thanked me, and that is exactly what she did. Turns out, her "real self" looks like... an average "nice girl", dresses in ordinary clothes, but with unique style. She wears no make-up, her hair is chocolate brown (wow, I never knew!) and for her "average style"-looks she looks... absolutely stunning. I won't lie, my heart skipped a few beats.
You know, all the media, all the movies, all the girls and guys around you... Everything tells a girl that men expect the woman to be hot, have great body, the right size of breasts, whatever. The truth is... it doesn't matter that much, and quite a bit of people are appalled by the Photoshopped models on magazine covers, some can't even stand them.
What DOES matter is that you smile, have kind eyes, you dress the way you want, the way that makes you feel like yourself. Don't stress over you looks, or try to cover up your insecurities with lots of "patch work" and flashy clothes. It is OK to hide a thing or two, but don't try to impress.
I assure you, I know a lot of girls who have average or below average looks, but who follow those simple rules above and... they have a lot of men running after them.
Oh and you said you were down to earth. Be open with guys, and I assure you, it will drive them mad (in a good way =)) and get their interest.
And another note. It is the hot-good-looking ones that end up marrying the last... Men prefer the "nice" type average kind of a girl when it comes to serious relationships (we are talking about 24yo+). The reason? Less likely to run off somewhere, and are better suited for family, taking care of the kids, etc. Just the way it is.
You should really make this post into an Article.
aight ima be totally honest ok? I'm a girl and I personally think both girls are ugly and would not meet most guys standards because 1 they do not look like they take care of them selves 2 girl 2 looks very unhealthy and that's a turn off in the long run looks don't matter all you need to catch a desent looking guy 1 toned body not to skinny that grosses the worthy ones out if there real they want you to be too 2 have a fun personality and a somewhat daring attitude is attractive guys wanna be able to listen to you talk with out wanting to fall asleep3 be your self they wanna talk to you not a girl off TV and 4 be a sweetheart all guys are suckers for a sweet heart guys love to be built up with there crazy egos and such if you make them look good by complimenting them then they will want to be around you and want you to be around them 5 last but not least makeup never hurt anyone but remember keep it classy not trashy guys (that are worthy ) like little to no make up unless they like that dark mysterous look but you can spend your money on better things then eyeliner sweet heart its not needed so over all if your healthy and take care of your self its only a matter of time and also don't look forguys in the wrong places
I'm a little confused by your answer. First you say both girls are ugly and don't meet most guys standards, then you said that in the long run looks don't matter. Please explain why you think girl 2 looks very unhealthy. In this question I am not talking about personality. Strictly looks because ultimately personality doesn't matter if the girl is average/ugly.
queston1 that's how guys think 2thats how girls think 3 girl2 is over weight therefore unhealthy
Guys care about looks more than women do, in general, because it is biological. If you think about it, men intrinsically are looking for the healthiest/best looking thing to create offspring with. Women are looking for someone who can shelter and take care of that offspring best (gold digger explained).
I would agree with the style comment. Some guys need perfect faced bodies and faces, but those guys are generally harboring their own insecurities and aren't really worthwhile in the first place. NO guy, unless supremely desperate, will be into a girl who isn't at least a little into herself/has some style (interests, skills, clothes, hair, makeup). Have a little (or a lot) of confidence, be someone someone else would want to get to know, talk to. Attraction can take many forms.
Also, know this. Although you are essentially trying to attract guys, they are not the hallowed judge of all that is attractive. DO NOT let one or two guys dictate how you feel about how you look. Who the hell are they to judge? Also remember, before you start worrying about whether or not they find you attractive, be discerning. Do you find them attractive? At all?
Please read what I said to neardark.
For guys, looks are the biggest part of attraction. All the other stuff is just a plus. I have a lot of interests and skills and I think I am a genuinely good and down to earth person, and I put effort into my appearance (I hate makeup but I still wear it and practice getting good at it), I don't have a lot of spare money when I do I spend it on clothes instead other things I really want (like books or video games),
but nothing I do, short of plastic surgery, is good enough because even the average guys don't want the embarrassment that having a average or below average girl results in.
I don't need a good looking guy. I'm okay with a guy that is nice to me and treats me how I deserve to be treated. There isn't anything a hot guy can do that a average or below average guy can't.
some guys are ugly as f*** but they want a really hot girl. I don't understand it either. they can set their standards as high as they want but if they're a d***, they're still a d***.
the simple answer is some guys like superficiality over brains. there are some guys who aren't as dumb.
it could be that they want a hot girl, and only chase hot girls, because they get them...because they're rich. That's not to say the girl isn't using him either, but least he's got her however temporary it may be.
Some of them can't get the hot girls. There are a lof of single guys because they'd rather be alone than date a average or below average girl. A lot of those kinds of guys come to me, a nice single girl, for advice. When asked what kind of girl do they like they describe a hot girl and the only girls they've approach are hot girls. They don't even think to pursue anything with me even though I treat them a lot nicer than the girls that turn them down treat them.
Totally true. It's weird but sometimes the old ugly as sin guys will try to hit on college-aged girls. I totally don't get it but I think they have a mental block that keeps them from perceiving themselves accurately.
@FloppyBunny True
Opinion
47Opinion
Honestly, I don't think that most men's standards for "passable" are as high as women think they are. I will frequent look at a woman on TV or on the street, and say "She's cute," but my wife will look horrified and then tell me all the reasons why the woman is ugly, whether it's bad eyebrows, big nose, fat ankles, etc. (And no, she's not just jealous.) There definitely is a standard, but it's not all that unattainable for most women. I think that the first woman is definitely cute, and the second woman could be, but she looks less attractive just because she is dressed a little strange. Which is an important point. If you are self-conscious about your appearance, take a good look at your wardrobe and what you wear out. Are you wearing nice (not necessarily expensive) clothes that actually fit, or are you hanging out in an over-sized T-shirt and sweats? Guys notice when a woman is stylish and seems to take pride in herself. Personality is also extremely important, obviously. Generally speaking, confidence is sexy.
I've tried being stylish and I guess it doesn't work?
It's hard to comment on your particular situation without knowing you. If you have a friend who you trust I would recommend that you ask them their opinion about what you could do to seem more attractive, whether it be something with hair/makeup, clothes, or just attitude or the way you carry yourself. Just make sure you tell them that they won't hurt your feelings, and that you really want to know the truth. (And whatever they say, you can't then hold it against them!)
I've tried that. She gave me a full makeover but it didn't really work. I'm a little on the shy side like most girls that aren't so pretty, but I am very down to earth.
I do not have any guy friends that I'm close enough to ask. I just go wherever my friends say there will be guys then most of the time it turns out that it's mostly girls. There's like 101 men for every 100 women. That leaves a lot of women like me left out.
Before I launch my attack on you I'd like to point out: the term "higher standards" does not apply to what you're talking about lady, because guys who think this model/make up/artificial girl is pretty and that average natural isn't are dumbf*cks who have no taste whatsoever, and those people shouldn't be approached by females and should die alone. Every woman in this world is beautiful on her own, there is no such as an ugly human being, but there are ugly hearts and minds of idiots who make others feel bad about themselves. Those guys are the low standards themselves even if you liked their looks, remember they haven't created themselves.
High standards of looks of a girl to me are when a girl takes care of herself and maintains her body, has a good taste which would reflect on everything she does in her life including her style and way of talking, and socialising of course. You can't set standards on the natural look of someone, but you can set standards on things people can change and maintain, if they fail to, then they're crap. And those guys you're talking about (mostly teens, and even the majority of dumb tasteless population) have pretty much failed to have high standards because of the way they judge others looks.
Looks attract initially,whether male or female.One observation I've made is,the uglier the guy,the higher his standards.*They*(ugly ones) seem to think that they deserve the best.
I also feel as though you may need beauty tips to help you feel attractive:
-30 to 60 minutes of cardio a day(running,jogging,swimming,jump roping etc)
-Strength training 2-3 days a week
-Cleanse,tone and moisturize your skin 2x a day(and after working out)
-Exfoliate your skin 1-2x a week
-Deep condition your hair once a week,alternating between a moisturizing deep conditioner and protein conditioner and use a hot oil treatment once a month
-Try getting a different haircut,one that suits your face shape and features
-Get your eye brows threaded,eye brows can really change your appearance
-Wear clothing that accentuates your body shape
-Use makeup to cover/hide imperfections and flaws and to enhance your features
-A different hair color may help
-Eat healthy
-Take a multi vitamin daily
-Drink at least 8 glasses of water daily
-If you wear glasses,try contacts or try a frame shape that compliments your facial structure
-If you have skin problems,seek a dermatologist
-Overall,stay healthy and in shape
If you need help with makeup,check out MichellePhan on Youtube and look at her earlier videos,not her news ones but the older ones.
The media. They make women tulook perfect with photochop & editing. Those women also take two to do their make-up, so just imagine what they are doing in there. Men look @ playboy, victoria secret, & other magazines, & have to learn women aren't actually perfect. I tried to explain this to a guy once & he said the women on those magazines are still prettier than the adverage woman because they take good care of themselves. Little did he know that the woman on those magazines are probably starve themselves, use plastic surgery, & torture themselves with unbearable exercise. In that guys opinion, adverage women were pigs, but he doesn't realize models actually do to themselves to be "perfect." If he had any clue, he would be disgusted. Then he said as a defense that women judge men harshly based on magazines too, but that is far from the truth. I don't think I've ever checked men on magazines out, I prefer the real thing. Plus the media's idea of an attractive man is ugly to me. I don't like men to have bulging muscles, but try to convince a guy of that.
This is something I've noticed my whole life. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks this. I agree that even ugly guys have unrealistic standards and want super hot girls.. but yet when they get rejected by hot girls because they're ugly, they wanna whine about how "girls have such high standards." When in reality they just aren't being realistic and think that they can score girls that are way out of their league. Which tbh sometimes it works.. I see ugly guys dating hot girls all the time but you never see a hot guy dating an ugly girl. It's just the simple fact that guys in general have higher standards when it comes to looks. That's why it's harder to be an ugly girl in society than it is to be an ugly guy. Because atlas if you're an ugly guy you can still get a hot girl. Whereas if you're an ugly girl you're pretty much fucked for the most part. It's not only in dating either.. ugly guys are able to make friends way easier than ugly girls are. Ugly guys are accepted more by people around them. But unfortunately for girls, it's not as easy to be accepted. Because girls have way more pressure put on them to "look good'.. and when they don't look, they're more likely to be ignored. But no one really cares what guys look like. Because guys don't have to be hot to be accepted or to be popular.
There's nothing wrong with having high standards tho (guy or girl).. but I think they need to accept the outcome of their high standards and realize that not everyone they're attracted to is gonna be attracted to them. And if they keep getting rejected, they just need to get over it and accept that that's life..
Society influences what is and what is not beautiful. That is bullsh*t because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Most men though are influenced by all the pop culture and mass media and think a girl has too have that blond hair, blue eyes and nice Rack. They are easily susceptible and are lustful creatures. Don't worry about what guys want. Just be yourself and your own true beauty will shine through and you will be approached. Beauty is only skin deep. Its the personality, habits and acts a person commits that defines them for me. If you're comfortable with the way you look so am I.
i call bullsh1t
It's a hard thing to get with guys. A lot of people tend to just say "well guys put too much value on looks, so they're shallow". Fact of the matter is we are on an instinctual quest for the females that appears most able to bear our children. Not that I intend on knocking up the first girl I come across, or even having kids at all, but that's just how we're wired. Not to say guys won't be attracted to or give the time of day to an "average" girl. I happen to think a lot of average girls are quite attractive.
When you see a girl you are not thinking "Wow she's so healthy". I'm a lot healthier than a lot of people, hot or otherwise. If that was the case then I wouldn't have any problem getting guys. This health is correlated with beauty things is the lamest excuse.
I'm not talking about health or even any specific physical feature, but when a guy finds a girl physically appealing he's more likely to be interested than if he didn't.
This is one of those questions that is hard to answer, are you saying that men you know and find attractive at varying levels all shoot for women that you would place as way out of their league, so to speak?
I look at it this way, if I find someone attractive I'm not going to let my looks get in the way of me approaching them or trying to pursue them, that would be stupid. Why? Because you never know what that person finds attractive. I mean I see a lot of women I find attractive with men I would say are pretty ugly all the time, AND I am sure that you ladies see this as well, you see a guy you think is "hot" with a girl you think is ugly, am I right?
I never see a guy that is hot with a girl that is below average looking.
Not all guys shoot for women way out of their league. The hot guys go after hot girls of course and sometimes the hot girl is even slightly less attractive than he is but she's still hot, then the average and ugly looking guys shoot for the hot girls too. This can be much more difficult for them than it is for the hot guys but they cannot bring themselves to lower their standards for looks.
Average girls and most ugly girls should get 30 cats and take up knitting because guys think of a woman's beauty as their prize. Having a pretty girl by your side is an ego booster and as Dotcomerson said, having an average or ugly girl by your side is embarrassing.
Right?
Is the woman unattractive by YOUR opinion or by popular opinion? I don't think Brad Pitt is attractive but according to popular opinion he is attractive.
the first girl is probably considered attractive by most guys, the second is also but is just dressed / acting like a dork. fix her style and cloths and she would be attractive also.
guys talk about what they want, but look at the girls they end up dating - avg girls.
if you want to be attractive, work on fitness and eating right. fitness/health indicators are the number 1 thing guys look for, regardless of what they say. being fit makes your face look better also. it makes your skin better, and you feel/look/actually ARE healthier, which also shows and is attractive.
can you even show me a girl who fit, with good style, and makeup, who is still unattractive?
its very rare. I've seen 50yrold women who were into fitness and looked great. fitness and healthy living is synonymous with attractive.
its the key to your health, your self esteem, the type of guy you will have in your life, so many things.
haha I love the second pic neither of them are hot to me, but honestly in my opinion looks really don't matter for a relationship... if its a one noght thing then yeah ima pick the hot girl, but my main thing is I want the girl to laugh at my dirty jokes and make them... so I really think that girls have a higher standard for themselves, I mean not all guys expect girls to look like p*rnstars ya know thatd be cool but no, and don't stick to pepole's standards lifes way to short live it for you either way
The high standards are due to the fact that appearances are the very first filter to get passed when a guy is considering pursuing a girl, after all it's not like we can determine your personality just by looking at you. Regarding the pictures, I think the girl in the first link is quite pretty, the girl in the second link probably should get some more stylish glasses and also arrange her hair so it covers her forehead, which kinda looks big. Really, we're picky because women are picky, about their own appearance I mean. There are so many varieties of style these days for women that once a man sees a woman who shocks and amazes him with an aspect of her beauty, he looks for others who share the same aspect, which is usually rare.
So basically I'm doomed?
Very pretty for me. I like women that workout more than the pretty face. I like girls that wear just the right amount of make up to look classy.
#1 I like physically attractive women :)
#2 If a person takes care of themselves physically, it give you a clue to what they're personality is. It says this person will put in effort. They are more likely to be neat and clean. More organized in life. The list goes on and on.
#3 it shows me they will respect me as a spouse by staying attractive. If they care about you, they will keep themselves looking their best for you.
I just want a girl that wants to be the best. Part of that is looking the best she can look. If I see a girl not trying it says she is fine with mediocrity. I’m not fine with that!
go ahead and call me shallow.
I take care of myself but there's nothing I can do about my genetics
Genetics plays a role, but most use it as a crutch. Not everyone can look exactly as they want to. I want to be 280lbs with 3% boyfriend, but my body just won't agree. Obviously you can?t change your face . That?s not what I?m talking about. Some are born with slower metabolic rates, some higher just adjust your diet and workout to compensate. A real champion will do what it takes to overcome. That's the girl I want. I know she won?t have another excuse in a different situation.
I'm not anywhere near fat
LOL, I look good for no one except myself. I almost never wear makeup. I have a reasonable body that is easy enough to keep. I put no effort into my appearance- and EVERY effort into my relationship. I'm a very caring girlfriend (I like to think). My boyfriend likes that I don't wear makeup, it means we can spend more time having sex.
Outer appearance is not important when two people get to know each other well, because there are a lot more inside a person than what is seen on the outside.
Grow good qualities inside you that makes you beautiful inside, and eventually, you will radiate your inner qualities that attract the right guy out there.
Just be friendly and tell about yourself, if you are trustworthy and smart those are the good qualities guys look in a girl in long run.
Because anyone smart enough knows very well that outer appearance fades away sooner than anyone expects, and the good inner qualities makes the whole life beautiful!
You don't have to settle for someone who only looks at your outer appearance, There is a lot more inside you, including your health.
1st who said the pictures you linked to were just average. You may think their not hot in your eyes but then again your a girl. 2 As guys we always like to claim and brag we have the hottest chick/babe around and parading her around. The women don't seem to mind this. Just as you ladies love to claim you have the best looking stud muffin. So it's just not guys that have the high standards. And what you call high standards may not be high standards to someone else.
Yes there are guys who want the real life barbie and for them good luck barbie has been using ken for how many years car house and so forth and she hasn't married him yet. This makes ken look bad that he put's up with this. lol
The thing is that both these girls need help with style. They are not necessarily ugly, and average is not bad, but the thing is that they are average because they are dressed bad and they would just need to try and look better. For example girl 1 should wear some makeup and girl two should lose the hair style and get different glasses. Honestly a lot of average girls would look better if they just tried a little. Same with guys. Just change your style a little. As for how pretty a girl has to be, I would say that every guy is different. Some guys like girls like the ones above. Some are pigs and only like perfect 10 babes, and some like really ugly women. It depends. Be you and find someone who likes you, but if you feel unattractive do things to make you feel more attractive. Guys will then see that and think your'e attractive.
In a scale wise? She needs to at least be a 4. Though it depends on the guy. If he's really horny, then a 3 will do. If he's drunk and horny, then a 2 will pass. If he's dying of a disease, then a 1 will suffice.
Butt to answer your other question... " Why do guys have such high standards when it comes to looks?" Because we adore beauty, and that's basically it. Yet you require the same, do you not? Don't you require more from a man?
There's a level for everyone. If you're a 5 in scale, pursue a man in kind and you'll increase your chances of linking to him.
I never pursue guys that are super handsome (I wouldn't feel right with him anyway). I only pursue the average and below average guys but they all have really high standards.
In all honesty those girls are a bit below average and, more importantly, not depicted in the most flattering way. Clothing, posture and hairstyle have quite an impact, and show that you care about how other people see you. All of these things are relatively easy to change by going to clothing shops, gyms and a hairstylist respectively.
"Passable" however is a different matter. If you're looking for something short-term, you'll have to be about equally attractive as the guy you're interested in. If you're looking for something long-term it becomes a lot less important.
They're average in my opinion because I see way more girls like them than pretty girls. I'm not fat quite slender actually and I do try to dress nicely but when I do I don't get anymore positive attention than when I don't. Usually it's negative attention because it really doesn't look right (looks like I'm trying to hard).
I'm looking for something long-term (one guy is all I need). I just never met anyone remotely interested in me.
Well, any change to your regular appearance will always be something people have to get used to. Try asking some friends for clothing advice if you're unsure about how something comes across. I strongly doubt you haven't met anyone remotely interested. People usually don't go about letting everyone they're interested in know about this, it's a shame really. Also, just to clear things up. Those women, though perhaps not the most stunning at first, are passable.
This is a joke right? Those girls are hideous. Anyways, my response is :
Not to be cocky or anything, but I'm pretty hot. The thing about ugly guys going for hot girls, is ugly guys with money can score a fair amount of hot girls. Sure it's gold digging and blah blah, but the question is about attractive-ness. Not morals and values. Guys are mostly into banging girls, so who the hell would want to bang an ugly girl? How could you possibility of she doesn't turn you on? You couldn't, can't screw with a bendable d***. Some guys want a girlfriend to be able to show off, if she has a great personality and she happens to be really hot, then great.
No it's not a joke but thanks for your opinion.
the first link was a "maybe", assuming she had personality, and intelligence
the second link looked like she was butt-ugly, and looked like she would be "annoying"
my personal thing, was itelligence, politeness, personality first...
after that was okay, "looks" was whateverf I could get it hard for... anything more is unnecessary...
dont get me wrong, I like a hot chick as much as the next guy, but... if the girl KNOWS she is hot, its a real turn off for me...
yeah beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
i think men on average seem to see womens bodies according to what standards of beauty the media set. not always though, sometimes it depends on what ethnic group you're talking about, but to a certain extent everyone is affected. sometimes girls go around judging other girls more than some guys do. I think we all judge womens bodies too much because that is the culture we have developed for ourselves.
sometimes I wonder if men and women do see the female body differently on a fundamental level. I'm bisexual and I've observed some things that make me question that...
>> Why do guys have such high standards when it comes to looks? <<
Because you have high standards on us everywhere else -- you expect us to be rich, know how to fight, drive a car, be at least fairly good looking, have a big penis, have a strong personality, make you laugh, give good cunnilingis...on and on and on. How many guys you know that fit that incredibly long "high" standard creteria?
As for your links...i'd go with the girl without the glasses.
yes, well, the standard women have on men is epic, more or less. So if a woman calls me shallow for chasing after a pretty girl with massive boobs and butt, well...maybe it's because she doesn't care that I don't drive a car because she's my neighbor across the street, the girl next door. :)
I don't think most girls require all of those things. I know I don't.
I just want someone that is nice to me and loves me.
well you say that now, probably because you're 16, but are you going to feel that way in 5 or 10 years when you grown into a woman?
I'm not 16. I'm not even in high school. Actually it has been 5 years since I was 16.
Jesus-H-Christ! Who the F am I talking to then? Rosula or the anonymous girl who put up the topic?
Question asker? Aren't you? I thought you were referring to me.
No, I was refering to Rosula, the New Zealand chic.
Funny, the only trait I care about there is 'makes me laugh'. But then I'm ugly so guys don't tend to consider me.
I tend to be attracted to a girl because of her personality, but you can't ignore looks. I have never thought too deeply about this issue, but I sometimes find myself wondering whether I will be embarrassed with this girl because she's not pretty enough or she doesn't dress right. Also, pretty girls make me feel good? Don't girls go for handsome guys for the same reasons, no?
I guess but I think guys are more strict about looks.
i think a lot of it has to do with personality, confidence and how you carry yourself. that first girl looks uber shy and the second one does look annoying as some of the guys said. I know a lot of girls that aren't that good looking but they always have a man because they are confident, they carry themselves well and they are fun to be around.
Nah, personality and confidence are secondary to looks. Guys still like a pretty girl even if she is shy and doesn't have a lot of confidence. If the second girl was hot the guys wouldn't view her as annoying...she'd be considered fun or quirky rather than something so negative.
Honestly, and believe it or not, these women ( if they don't let society get to them) will be the next wives to successful business men. My answer is not a scientifc fact but it is researched. All it takes is for a real man to come along and see the potential, invest in it, and vuala. You'll have a loyal, loving, intellegent woman and she could be just as gorgeous too. It happens all the time.. Just think we've all seen that person in high school that was not attractive as society would intell but after graduation you see them again and it's like what happen between then and now. So apply those same chemics to these two girls and you'll have a masterpiece. Oh and to answer your question it's gone since the beginning of time. That is one thing we may never know but will have to cope with. Read Genesis chapter 29, Esther, and Songs of Solomon (the last two were whole books).
That happens all the time? Really?
I don't care much about money, I just want someone to love me and be good to me, but I haven't met that person yet. So I'm under the impression that guys only like girls that are above their level of attractiveness. I hope it's true that a real man just hasn't come along yet, but how much longer do I have to wait?
In general, human beings are wired to make the connection between health and good looks. A good looking female looks healthy (it's instinctive, I'm not saying it's true for all girls) and therefore can carry the male's descendants more easily. It's pure instinct.
Please read what I said to neardark.
Bullsh*t
Because of societal pressures.. Also because men, from an evolutionary stand point men unconsciously perceive looks as an indicator of health .. Ability to bear children... and other things ... and hence we are hard wired to seek these things out in a potential mate.
Yeah but there's a clear difference between being healthy and looking ugly. You can be one of the healthiest people in the world and still be ugly. Personally, I am very healthy. My BMI is right in the middle of the healthy range for my height. I rarely get sick. While there are many good-looking people that are sick, have diseases, etc. That's why I am not convinced on this beauty is correlated with health. Yeah right. Guys don't care if the girl has a weak immune system if she's pretty.
very true evolution is very slow to catch up with the changing times... this is why guys who are jerks tend to get girls ... its the same, females are hard wired to seek out confidence because it indicates a person who can provide, protect the young and so on... and guys who are total jerks send these signals and girls respond.. but clearly its obsolete in today's world
Yeah but confidence is something that can be developed over time. Beauty cannot be gained unless drastic measures are taken and beauty usually fades over time, unlike things like confidence.
well its important to understand people aren't total slaves to this things.. and there's more to attraction that physical appearance .. instinctivly we seek out the things we don't have (DNA wise) so every one is attractive to someone ... I'm simply explaining why large groups of guys "flock" to a particular type of girl and vis-versa just because a girl may not have these things dosen't mean she's not attractive to guys at all! this is herd mentality I'm explaining :)
Oh okay herd mentality. That makes perfect sense. I think the media and social aspects impacts guys opinion of girls more than biological aspects. Not to say that it's not biological but I think a lot of people use it validate "shallowness" for lack of better word. If you're shallow why not own up to it, know what I mean? Well anyway thank you for your input. Your answer seems really sincere.
Guys pretty much try to date and flirt within their attractiveness range. Sometimes plus or minus one level of attractiveness.
Only sometimes do guys try to hit a "jackpot" and score a much more attractive girl.
Most of the time, we are MUCH MORE REASONABLE THEN GIRLS ARE.
In my opinion, any girl who is a 5 or higher, on a scale out of 10, should be able to get a guy.
That's not what I've noticed
Again with the bullsh*t rating.
I wouldn't say giving girls a number was politically correct, but hey. So what about these 'below 5s'? Are they not worthy of a loving relationship? Are they not good enough for someone who happens to be better looking? And I would argue that many guys I know go after girls way hotter than them, then call the plainer ones (more on their 'level') ugly.
I guess I rather have an archaic number system instead of..
hot..pretty...pretty ok...pretty ugly..ugly...way ugly..
lol.
A system like that, I believe, is worse.
Also "ihatemeganfox" if we are talking about attractiveness, don't we need a system to rate and rank attractiveness so that we can have an intelligent conversation about it?
Human_condition.
I believe everyone deserves love. I am not saying this number system is how much you deserve someone. I am saying 5 may be happy with 4 ,5 or 6.
Actually research shows that guys consistently try to get a girl who is a few points higher (on the looks scale) than they are while women tend to go for guys that are on par.
To FloppyBunny. The problem with what you just said is that men should try to get points higher if they hare working. Attractiveness and employment are things women look for. So a modestly man with a good job SHOULD equal a pretty darn attractive man with a modest job.
Men might go for a higher quality looking girl for this reason.
The other thing you shoudl take into account is that the female form and look will ALWAYS be more beautiful then the males. So basically, I disagree with you.
Everyone has their own idea or preference of what beauty is or isn't. I think what's most important for YOU is that you love yourself and believe that you are beautiful inside and out.Along with that confidence you will attract someone who appreciated you for exactly who you are. I don't think mens standards are extremely high as you think they are...meaning...i don't think all men want Pam Anderson look alikes or whatever society deems as attractive. It's all about ones preferences.
I love myself but that doesn't mean I can't be realistic about how I really look. Not everyone can be physically beautiful. I know my place. Men do want whatever society deems as attractive (excluding a handful). Yes it is all about one's preference, and men prefer the hot chicks.
Guys have no control over that. It's just like how most women seem to be attracted to jerks. It's human nature. Mature guys learn to weigh the person's overall value based on personality and other factors. Look at the women the Beatles married. Not too attractive for the most part, and they could've had anyone. Like my mom says, "Beauty fades, but dumb is forever."
And for the record, I found the girl in link 1 attractive but not link 2.
I would not go for that unless they ,made up for it somewhere else, but the problem is that other girls can out do them because even if I like the no so attractive girl more as a person the more attractive girl will appear as the better girl. I'm sorry it's shallow but it's what I want so sowwwwy
Huh?
I wonder that same thing because guys are UGLY! And you females are always saying so! I think that it is more because young females are not taught to have self-respect. If you respected yourself then this question would never have surfaced in the first place.
I personally generally perfer average to moderately pretty girls. if I'm attracted and how much I'm attracted is what matter to me. although I'm a lot pickier about the body. I wasn't attracted to either girl but the second was passable and maybe the second one
Its about whether I find them attractive or not.
If I'm attractive, I work out, and go to school to become smarter and more cultured. Why should I settle for less?
College educated individuals want smart partners. People who workout want healthy partners. Good looking people want good looking partners.
The standards are what you set. You work on yourself, to be able to attract the people you want to attract.
If you're a loser then don't expect to attract anything better.
Depending on personality, both seem like good enough catches. I don't see a problem with either, though (forgive me for sounding shallow) the second one could be better if she cleaned up a bit. The outfit and hairstyle are not flattering. Still, I wouldn't call either of them ugly. The problem probably lies in the gents you're talking with. Try someone who isn't exposed to attention from 8's and up frequently.
Why is everything always with rating? So ignorent...
I use ratings because I know that people will know what I'm talking about. I say a number and you have some idea of what I'm talking about. The point is effective communication.
That really just depends on the guy and what he finds attractive. At any rate, it's not just guys: despite what women say to the contrary, they don't go looking for a "sweet, sensitive guy" or a "smart, funny guy"...at least, not at first. If he's not at least a bit attractive, she probably won't hang around long enough to find out what he's like. So, yeah, both genders are equally guilty of being shallow. Sad, but true.
Both genders are guilty but not equally guilty. Guys are more visual.
Males and females in the US have been ruined by tv/movies/porn/ect ect so our values are all skewed regarding the opposite sex... just the way it is
that said
A warm , positive , flirty personality goes a long long way .
eat well , work out , be fun
Personally looks don't matter. I value intelligence and a sense of humor, kindness, respect, you know. If she's pretty its a plus, but if I fall for her for who she is then a girl will be beautiful to me no matter what.
It's good to know that not all hope is lost for me. There are guys out there that don't care about looks as much as other things how ever few there may be.
their ego. most guys always want to have the "hottest" girls friend. As guys mature though it seems to become less of an issue because they realize that looks aren't what's important. just give it time and the guys will come.
Because their assholes. By the way any guy that rates a girl is not a guy to be associating with so word of advice: don't worry about it. Those shallow stupid guys who have high standards need no attention.
cuz we are shallow lol. those 2 girls don't make the cut for me. sorryyy.
anyway, the high standards are true for both genders. the reason we have high standards is because our DNA and animal instinct commands us to reproduce offspring that have sexually appealing traits. sexual attractiveness is something a species needs to survive. men and women rejecting unattractive mates are subsubconciously carrying out natures orders.
dont worry. I'm ugly too. and fat =|
Nah guys can get by on their personality and success alone...for girls it all comes down to looks.
Well then that's just the way of the world. Can't fight it.
I didn't mean to come across like I was fighting. I just wanted to let you know that I disagree.
lolol. I wasn't fighting u. I meant you (not you personally, but everyone) can't fight the way of the world.
anyway, I have a better answer to your question. the reason both guys and girls prefer better lookin people (therefore coming off as shallow) is because the first part of any relationship is attraction. we are attracted to beautiful people. the second part is personality. if the person has a bad personality (despite being beautiful) he will be dumped anyway.
in other words, all relationships are started by physical attraction, but its personality that keeps people together.
My question wasn't "why do guys prefer better looking people?" it's "Why do guys have such high standards when it comes to looks?" Similar but different. I know why a guy would prefer a better looking person, but I don't know why guys have such high standards when it comes to looks especially.
if you can't understand how those 2 questions are the same, then your beyond helping.
in all honesty, it would have to be because of the primitive urge to f*** something beautiful.
If you can't understand how questions are similar but not the same question then maybe you aren't the best person to be giving advice.
A guy preferring good looks would be like "I want the hottest girl better but the average girl or below average girl is acceptable if all else fails" A guy with high standards would want the hottest girl and anything else is below their standards and unacceptable. Didn't you read my question description?
When I read or write for too long I lose my train of thought.
Because they're not guys, they're little boys. Or, basically, they're man-childs. They have no idea of what truly matters nor do they think long term. Ignore such "men" as they aren't real men.
i hate it when guys are shallow but then call girls shallow when we reject them because theyre fugly.
people should just date others who are on their own level physically
Girls are way more picky than boys. Of course a boy who knows what his standarts are will not date a girl that's way uglier than his ex gf's.
They are way too ugly...
at your age that's probably true but once you're closer to your 20's it will become the opposite
I don't think so, I already started working out, my face will still become a bit more mature. I don't think my standarts will change during my 20's. It's just that I can't be with someone if I don't really enjoy being with them. I think there are boys who would date them, but they won't be hot.
This is a joke, right? You don't have standards yourself?
Guys and girls BOTH have high standards, but will usually settle for less than what they initially wanted.
I do have standards but they do not apply to looks.
you are OK. I have seen all types of girls get a boyfriend. if you are really concern with your looks try reading beauty magazines for suggestions, tricks and tips
I already have and it doesn't really work
oh try michelle phan, ask around to see which is best for you. You know? if you like a certain friends hair cut or color, as her which salon she goes to and go talk to that hair dresser for tips on how to style etc. Just ask around and you'll get ideas on what works for you. good luck
I'm not very interested in looks.
If the woman can appreciate me for me, that would be enough for a standing relationship.
lol, wtf?
Its girls who have the high standards. Guys are famous for having little to no standards.
I never said girls don't have high standards. I said, girls don't have as high standards when it comes to looks compared to men. Many men may have low standards in general but certainly not when it comes to looks. A guy may sleep with a girl that is ugly or average but he is not going to want her as his girlfriend.
"Guys are famous for having little to no standards." Not any guy I've ever talked to. XD
Girls have high standards too. Why do you want me to be romantic? Why do you want me to be funny?
All I want is sex. I'll have sex with those girls but I definitely won't break my back to impress them.
Men still have higher standards tho.. when it comes to looks
theres some guys out there who will f*** anything. black guys for example.
thats not racism.
how do you know black guys will f*** anything. it has nothing to do with race
bullsh*t. White guys are just as bad.
Fucking and dating are two different things tho.. Men have higher standards for girls they date than for girls they just hookup with
Well they'll learn when they're older. They're still immature ._.
I can't stand pretty girls. To much baggadge. Most are not marrige type. Since most are attention whores and see men like a cash cow. I want someone is just like you. But takes my breath away...
Aww thanks. What does take your breath away mean?
Couldn't do it for those girls.. not near what I like...
I just like girls that are tan, in shape.. and an average + face.
Neither of those women are average looking. Average to me is Amanda Bynes, Orianthi, Emily Osment, and Kristin Bell.
I am not attracted to the linked pictures what-so-ever.
Okay. Thanks for answering.
This is a good question...its interesting reading what guys have to say about it
Thanks. Share you opinion please.
I don't think guys are as shallow as we think..I mean you don't have to be drop dead gorgeous to get a guy..you just need a good personality basicly
because they are investing their genes in a pool. is it going to be a good pool or a bad pool
No one my age is thinking about genes and reproducing.
yeh they are they just don't realize it. its hard wired into the dna.
the girs in the picture aren't conventionally attractive. but they also have style issues , which in many ways is more damning. style can be a trump on looks, because it speaks to both appearance and reality, lifestyle and personality.
And guys say they don't like trendy, high-maintenance girls...
well styled>>>trendy
I just wish guys would be upfront about what they really like. It's just like when guys say they don't like when girls wear makeup but the opposite is true because they're always going for the girls covered in makeup.
well there are different types of guys and the signals you give off are interpreted in different ways to suit different ppls value systems. there are generalities but a lot comes down to style, looks, and personal taste.
I am female I am alos 20, I look for guys that are good looking and have similar traits. I want to have cute kids. In my psych class, it says everyone dies that, not on purplose but they do.
Everyone's shallow when it comes to looks, for the most part. Attraction is key.
so what is attraction then?
Attraction, to me, is that initial feeling when you first see someone and you want to get to know them more. Attraction is built over time though, once you get to know someone not based on just superficial reasons.
there's nothing shallow about looks. It's just human nature. We appreciate beauty.
Not pretty enough. Sorry babes but you need to make the cut.
I am not looking for a girl to be a size 0 waist but a size 18 nottttt even
Physical beauty and weight don't have much to do with each other. You can be a size 0 and still be ugly lol
Some guys care way too much but the majority are all desperate for sex.
But just because a guy has sex with a girl doesn't mean he'll want to after sex. I think she's talking more about dating rather than just hooking up.
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