I have done photoshoots as a hobby of women and I never care what body image the women have. I believe anyone can look beautiful it only takes one person to tell you. Plus I much prefer personality the looks to me are a bonus. I think that media, celebrity and peer preasure plays a big part. I have also noticed that there seems to be two trends. One of looking fit and toned or someone being on the chunky side not caring and embracing themselves. Yet people who I would class as perfectly average and normal seem to put the most pressure on themselves.
What are your oppions on the matter?
Why are women obsessed with body Image? Do you think the media, celebrity, and peer pressure make it toxic?
It ain't peer pressure, that's bullshit. Here's the cold hard reality of the matter: Looks are used to attract a mate. That much holds true for all living beings that have a wider variety of possible looks. And this is the number one thing people need to accept. So now, the reason I said this is that men will always go for the most attractive women. This is, again, just nature doing its thing. Now what first happened is that girls started getting depressed over not being as pretty and popular as the pretty girls. This lead to the whole "looks don't matter" idea craze, which is obviously not true, as I've explained why a few sentences above. Now, this obviously didn't work out as well as women hoped it would, so women kept feeling bad about their looks. However, instead of deciding to do something about it, they started pointing fingers at the media, claiming they're setting unrealistic standards for women. This gave rise to the whole "unrealistic standards" claim. The funny thing is that those same "unrealistic" standards are actually set by women who have achieved them, mainly models and celebrities. This makes the whole claim of "unrealistic expectations" wrong, since they are achievable and there are also their peers who have achieved it. Now their next move was to say "yeah, but you were born luck with such genetics, I can never look that good", until the women who achieved those standards took to social medias, forums and meme sites and exposed the reality that they put in hours upon hours of hard work, training to achieve the body they wanted, and exposed that the ones who complain are just lazy and don't wanna put in the effort, which was mainly done in the last 2 years, meaning we're currently in the middle between 2 phases and that's why the idea of social pressure and unrealistic beauty standards still exists today. Now fat girls are a bit different. In an attempt to bring girls out of depression for not being the prettiest, there was a lot of body flaw acceptance propaganda. However, this propaganda was poorly made and, instead of focusing on accepting the flaws on your body you were born with and can't really change without surgery, it focused on all flaws, including being fat. This propaganda actually helped a lot of girls get over their depression and even made them motivated to try and do what they can do compensate for their flaws, but it also brough about fat acceptance, which is still an active theme. Now before I continue, I wanna make 1 thing very clear here: unless a fat person has some sort of illness that makes them be fat or prevents them from losing fat, they are lazy. You can't be healthy and get fat without being lazy. It just doesn't work that way. Now fat people, being lazy, took these 2 things from the body flaw acceptance propaganda: 1. You must love your body in order for others to love your body, and 2. Don't let anyone tell you how you should and shouldn't look. I believe you're starting to see the issue here. This made fat women ok with being fat and also gave them an excuse to use as a defense for when people tell them they should lose weight. It even went so far that they argued that what medical research says about the risks of being fat is a part of "fat shaming". Everything that's said against them being fat is seen as fat shaming. And if you try to tell them they should do some exercise because their health is at risk, they use the "no one can tell me what I should do with my body" defense. And this is why you have the 2 main body image types.
In my opinion, there's too much emphasis on form independent of function when it comes to women. It's not like we're short on idealistic images of male bodies in the media, but I think it helps that there's a functional focus there.
Male social pressure tends to emphasize function at least as much, if not more, than form like health, lasting long in bed, lifting heavy, being athletic, having a stable income, being charismatic, etc. I think that somehow helps lots of men cope with bodies that fall short of, say, some idealistic tall guy with an 8-pack, by finding more functional traits he's good at that he can take pride in. That can become unhealthy at times (ex: leading to temptation for performance-enhancers even with no professional athletic background), but I still find it better than a girl who is perfectly healthy and fine being riddled with insecurities or women developing eating disorders because of the negative way they perceive their own bodies.
I think it's inevitable that society will idolize certain people and certain types of bodies. I'm not sure if trying to heavy-handedly diversify the range of fashionable female images in the media can make a huge change here. What I would like to see is more of a focus on function starting with health.
Another effect I think might occur when functionality is emphasized more (not like a statue devoid of function) is that it makes it easier, I think, for someone to think relatively instead of absolutes. I've always found it relatively easy not to compare myself to some idealistic looking-guy in the media since it becomes clear with more of a functional focus that being the strongest and most athletic version of myself is not going to end up looking like him. When functionality becomes a concern, it's not like having plastic to try to look like one of those guys is going to help anything. So I think more of a functional focus makes it easier to avoid wanting to look like somebody else, and instead want to look like the strongest and fittest version of yourself.
>> I'm not sure if trying to heavy-handedly diversify the range of fashionable female images in the media can make a huge change here.
The reason I think this is that as long as there's an emphasis on form independent of function, I don't think one can ever be satisfied. I think they will always find shortcomings (however small) when comparing themselves to some idol until they shift the focus to relatives instead of absolutes, and function over form.
And I've seen that plenty of times. I've even known women with very canonical bodies, including a professional model who was quite successful, who was still riddled with insecurities. And the source of the insecurity as I see it is obsessiveness over an ideal aesthetic instead of thinking relatively compared to their own bodies, their own genetics, and thinking in terms of not only form but also function. To shift emphasis to function, and relatives over absolutes, is the cure as I see it.
Meanwhile, the few women I've known who were largely devoid of such insecurities did just that. They shifted their focus to relatives instead of absolutes. Instead of trying to look like someone else, or conform perfectly to some canon, they started to focus on becoming the best versions of themselves and placed at least equal emphasis on function. They did what most guys I've known do. And I think that's the mindset that needs to be promoted if we want to see fewer women obsessed with body image to unhealthy levels.
hey there, great question, what really connected with me and actually a recent convo with my 13yr old daughter was exactly the media representation of super skinny/fit celeb body type or the ads with the quite super plus size bodies acting all super confident our exact same point of view is both of these images are the extremes and not realistic of the everyday average woman. of course this is purposeful as a media/commercial point of view... being my age at least in the eighties even your pop stars like bananarama were females who looked and dressed somewhat the same as we did... if you watch an eighties episode of top of the pops the current pop stars looked like everyday people, dare i say even average looking... now for my daughter we have altered pictures and completely unrealistic expectations... i worked in a secondary school a couple of years ago and teenage girls were at school with fake nails, fake eyelashes and make up including the highlighting attempt where one girl looked like a metal robot like metallic... it truly sadly intrigued me that these girls left their home in these ways oh plus skirts so short i regularly could see their underwear... as for body image despite all I've said I've struggled myself but there is one sure thing i can say now... with age and two pregnancies left with a body that shows these effects i cannot believe that for all the years i didn't think i was good enough and hated my body as not good enough, all that time i wasted... the saying you dont realise what you have until its gone... could never be truer... i also would like to add i have a 16yr old son too and watching stranger things the lifeguard character fit toned i thought how does this affect him? even plus sized model shots are edited... then if you include porn for instance... im a grown up woman so i fully accept that a guy would indulge in porn so to me, i know the females he watches are youthful and their bodies to match so this leaves me feeling how on earth would a guy find me attractive compared to this? perhaps if as females we heard more views from guys how you feel with regard to images both on female and male it would help? can you tell me? xx
My daughter once told me not to put too many chips on her plate because she didn't want to get fat. She's 8 a skinny little thing and I can tell you that it made me feel very sad that my daughter at that is concerned about her image.
@Goodwifie "perhaps if as females we heard more views from guys how you feel with regard to images both on female and male it would help? can you tell me? xx " -- could you clarify what you mean by this? maybe I can lend an answer, I think the phrasing of your question is just a bit unclear to me :-)
Honestly I think it starts at a much younger age than a lot of people think. My mother and brother used to tease me about the size of my breasts, my mum started doing this when I was around the age of 14. Slowly the self hate started creeping into my head and I would get really upset especially when I'd go swimwear shopping. When I was a teen and in my 20's none of this social media existed so we really had only the people who were around us to compare ourselves with. I did a boudoir shoot last year to celebrate my 40th birthday it was so empowering for me and the photos are hanging on my bedroom wall. I know that I'm not perfect, I could see my stretch marks and my surgery scars. I was unsure about hanging them up where my kids would see them but they haven't really noticed, I think it's teaching them about what's healthy and to expect perfection. I think instagram is putting out false expectations of body images standards with all photo shopping, poses and cosmetic procedures these girls are undertaking.
When I was 10 & less than 20 pounds over weight my mom & sister put me on multiple crash diets. They where verbally abusive towards me & others for decades. Both where in beauty queens. Back in the 80's beauty queens would tape their boobs to make them look bigger. superficiality runs In my family. They hate that I'm a tomboy who doesn't wear dresses or make up
Our society places a heavy value on female beauty. Women pick up on this and either try to accommodate to the standards for feminine beauty and value, or they develop insecurities if they don’t measure up.
5
0 Reply
What Girls & Guys Said
48
Opinion
66
Opinion
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
As a photographer myself, I can 100% understand this. I'll shoot people I think could be models and they rattle on for 20 minutes about how they hate things about themselves that I literally cannot see. I figure if they hate that, well I should just about have full blown depression about my own looks.
For women, it's often about a life long conditioning that has been happening to us since we were born. Women are ALWAYS praised for being cute, or pretty or they aren't at a young age. Then you grow into a teen and it's again, always about your looks. There was some backlash not too many years ago when some actresses got fed up with reporters on a red carpet who seemed to only focus on what an actress was wearing over her actual talent or the movies she was in. Actors were asked about their movies, women--their hair/outfit--and we see this reflected everywhere. It doesn't matter if a woman is the smartest and most talented person in the world---it's always, "what about her outfit, her hair, how fat/thin" is she. It always comes as the first judgment against her whether positive or negative.
So after hearing these things since birth, it is no surprise in the slightest that girls and women have been conditioned to hate all or part of themselves for not meeting some arbitrary standard. I think now men are also starting to feel this a little more too and the only way to truly combat this is if you have a strong foundation of people around you praising you for stuff other than just your looks and pulling the wool back on the photoshopped images that surround us and try to convince us that we can obtain a look that doesn't actually exist in reality.
Biology, their body is their tool for reproduction, for men its strength, courage, and wealth (as well as body), so its only natural they obsess over it. Soceity has nothing to do with it and the media and celebrities definitely don't have anything to do with it. If you look at history, women have always been obsessed with their looks. The corset for example was designed to act as a bra, a way to distribute the weight across the body to make women more comfortable. Women then saw they could tighten it and get an hour glass figure, so that's what they started using it for and in the process not only increased their discomfort to get the look they wanted, they also started harming themselves for it (all the cliché's of women passing out, that's because the corset was usually tightened to the point where she couldn't breath properly so anything she did that required more oxygen (so exhertion and things like that) would cause her to hypoventilate and pass out). So as I said, its inherent not media, not celebrities, not peer pressure (not saying these things help but they are not the root cause, not by a long shot).
I think any attempt at media manipulation of beauty standards is artificial and contrived, and therefore of little to no value, whether it's pushing "slim and toned" or "cocaine skinny" or "fat and fabulous". However, this is what women are bombarded with on a daily basis since media influence has become a de facto replacement for IRL social influence. So women "obsess" over this stuff because, basically... they're "told" to obsess over it, in a million subtle and less subtle ways.
However, setting aside media influence and the second-hand peer pressure it invariably creates, we cannot discount the fact that... women obsess over body image, in part, because they're wired to do so. Women's physical appearance is the #1 most reliable indicator of fertility and reproductive health. They're therefore evolved to be conscious of how their appearance 'stacks up' within the tribe. It's the equivalent of how men in the workplace or in sports will compete and jockey for position-- since a man's social status is the most reliable indicator of good genes, reproductive value, etc.
But then, our tribal women ancestors from a hundred thousand years ago... probably never obsessed over body image the way 21st century women do. But it certainly would've been in the background of their awareness to some extent. Humans can't help but 'track' our position in the tribe.
Women are "obsessed with body image" because they know that men go for physically attractive women. This is more important - at least in the short term - for men then her personalty , interests etc. Since man has walked the Earth women have always used their looks and / or the promise of sex to entice a man. This is the nature of things since women have been genetically programed by 200,000 thousand years of evolution to seek a man for his resources.
Physically speaking most women are no match for most men. Even a fat coach potato can beat a women senseless with his bare hands if he wanted to. In the early days of our species it was the man that did the dangerous work of hunting and defending the tribe from other aggressive tribes. This is more suited to men due to the overall greater muscle to body mass proportion , greater bone density , greater cardiovascular capacity, skeletal structure , and greater height advantage.
Many of you will say "But times have changed!!
Sorry feminists but these social changes happened only in the last 100 years or so. The genes that dictate the dichotomy between men's and women's behavior have been around for over 200,000 years.
Women used to be raised to be confident if they would make a good wife and mother and to get a husband young and it was his job to make his wife feel sexy.
Now women are not raised like that. They try to be confident by accomplishing things at work on a professional level but tbh they dont feel as fulfilled and men dont really care about professional accomplishments. So the majority can't find a decent husband who makes them feel sexy and they never feel fulfilled from their career. And so they feel insecure about their bodies and think thats why men dump them all the time but its not.
Newsflash: men dont care about how you look! I mean a little obviously. And some are just horn dogs. The majority dump y'all because you wouldn't make a good wife or mother. We get sick of y'all being around because you dont do anything for us. Sex or being sexy =/= doing anything for us.
But as long as you are afraid to be a woman you will seek self esteem in your body issues. Its that simple for most girls.
It’s because of biology. No matter what you say or what your opinion is, men will be more attracted to a healthy woman than an overweight or underweight woman. Women have a natural instinct that makes them want attention from men therefore they obsess over their appearance because they know that men’s like what they see. It’s not up for debate as to whether or not it’s a societal thing because it’s simply biological.
Now, is it toxic? It can be. Everything needs to be in moderation. There are groups of people who are so obsessed with their appearances that they all end up being fake and no one likes that. They have mental issues like depression and anxiety as well.
This isn’t common but I’ve witnessed it.
So it can be toxic when it’s overdone. But it’s normal.
You have to understand, women are raised to be a certain way from a young age. We’re told we can or can’t do things because we’re a certain gender, just like men, except with women it’s a lot more common and more limiting in my opinion.
Then, we reach puberty, and everyone starts being mean, they’ll tell you you’re fat and should lose weight, no one is going to love you looking like that, why are you wearing that, slut, prude... it goes on and on. So we doubt ourselves. Are we really that ugly? Some women learn that no, we’re not that ugly. Others don’t.
Please stop trying to tell men to love fat and obese women. It is very simple, put into your body fewer fats and carbs eg hamburgers and hotdogs. Protein and mostly green veg. Eg, not peas are full of sugar. My father told me when I was a teenager if you want to see how your girlfriend will like when she is older, go and meet the mother. How true that has been.
@Badballie how did you even get that from what I wrote? I’m against glorifying obesity with people like tess munster. Being told you’re fat doesn’t mean you are fat. I’m a size 36/38 (6/8) and I’ve been told i’m fat.
@bente2 i dont think that applies to specifically women.. guys insult each othet on body and face all the time.. even wearing glasses is made fun of.. untill mia khalifa came along lol But yeah.. ine shudnt be stubborn and expect anyone to find them attravtive the way they are.. hardly handful of people are born with great figure.. most must work hard.. and they shudnt complain that they have to work to get it..
@PaganWarrior so true. You will see fit older wives with husbands who don't look like they are even trying. She will be alone after her husband passes away from a heartache because he refused to stop eating whatever he wanted.
It’s unfortunate but a lot of the time a woman’s body image is used to determine their worth and it’s been like this for centuries. It’s also very easy to say that women should just ignore what people think and embrace themselves but it seems like anytime they do this, they are attacked by people who think they should conform and go with what other people deem suitable. It’s honestly going to be a never ending problem.
it's not just the "media" that's to blame. some men do their part pretty well too. just take a look on this site at your fellow men and count how many comments express "disgust" at women who are anything more than 5 pounds overweight. i mean, being 10 pounds overweight is considered obese by a good number of them.
Precisely this place shows that they are a minority on every poll said about what is more valuable, red flags are strangely on overweight, but on reverse height has shown to be a great red flag here for women.
I used to work at a city gym doing child care and my daughter would go to work with me. Many times when the moms would pick up their children they would be self critical about their bodies. I didn't realize my daughter had absorbed these conversations until at 4 she told me I have a big butt. Well we tend to be a bit more endowed in that area but in a bad way and we are also slim people. I talked to her that weight just wasn't going to be an issue for her unless she had to be on some sort of medication when she got older. I didn't want her obsessing on weight especially since genetically being heavier isn't our natural body build. The weight thing popped up again in high school when she said my stomach is too big. I told that is because you have organs inside your body. It's supposed to be that way. She never weighed more than 107 5'1" Thank goodness it never moved into anything more serious.
I know for me where I'm from, beauty is considered everything. No one is really 'fat' or 'chubby' or 'big' in Korea and Japan, like obesity is extremely rare and you're considered 'fat' if you're over 65 kgs and when you're between 55 and 65 you're considered chubby. People stress over their weight a lot because you're considered unattractive if you don't hit ideal beauty standards which is like double eye lids, fair skin and if you weigh like between 40-50 kgs. So people here tend to be obsessed with being skinny, like everyone diets and stuff, this is definitely due to social peer pressure and how you're supposed to look in public and how you're supposed to be. It's also due to celebrities here as well, like idols and stuff are like ideal standards which is what so many girls try to attain.
Do you think it's a net positive or negative? In America and UK, something like 50% of the entire population is overweight or obese. But in Japan, Korea and other SE Asia countries, women seem to be much healthier. If societal pressure creates a culture of health and attractiveness, then surely the ends justify the means? (Although I understand it could go too far and affect women's mental health... all things in balance, right...)
@SomeGuyCalledTom I don't think it's really positive, because here girls are always dieting, even I do so but it's like unhealthy, like I used to eat like only three bananas a day to lose weight and for some it's more extreme then that; and women here tend to have really low self esteems which is really sad.
@saeyamazaki Ah I see, yeah that's a shame. I'd rather a girl be a healthy body weight with a good nutritious diet and active lifestyle who has high self esteem... rather than a cocaine-skinny girl who can't enjoy life coz of societal pressure to fit some impossible-to-maintain standard. There is such a thing as "too skinny", it's unnatural for women to maintain extremely low body fat %. On the other hand, the good thing about societal pressure is we don't have to buy into it. Most women trying to please other women don't even realise how much more attractive they'd be to men if they looked "healthy" rather than "ultra skinny". I hope the culture changes to be more embracing of sustainable health and lifestyle-- but then, that change always starts with individual choice to go against the grain. Maybe you could be one of the girls who sets a positive example to others. :)
Yeah that’s very true. But I’m not going to lie, I also try to fit the standards as much as I can and it’s hard being different especially in Korea and Japan so I learned as a child to be like equal with people and how you look isn't an exception. I think also to the western world because we’re seen as skinny were seen as healthy but not many people know what it’s like.
Yeah that's understandable-- albeit unfortunate. Health should be at the top of every culture's list of priorities, but unfortunately it's often subordinated to a very specific look and narrow range of what's "okay". Maybe I just don't feel such pressures by A) my gender, and B) my nature. For me it's never been an issue whether or not I fit in, because I enerally disdain most of what the "mainstream" culture believes in and follows lol. But we can't all live in a log cabin in the woods, away from civilised society, lol... so I guess everyone chooses how many of the rules of the game they opt into. The Asian continent plays its games the same as the 'Western' world does-- only the "rules" of their respective games differ. But people need to remember that a game is just a game, and not take any of it too serious :)
Girls! ffs, you are you, don't try to be anyone else, whats the point? I think that there is someone in the world for everyone but circumstances dictate that you may not meet them. You cannot change, I have said in another answer, you are you, the size and shape you were born to be genetically, why do you thinkit's so hard to lose weight and so easy to put it back on? Because you were built that way unless you have a medical problem and if you have I'm sorry, but otherwise you are bor to be what you are. Smile, be happy and proud of yourself whatever size shape or colour, THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU!
by the way I photograph lots of stuff for a living and women are the easiest especially once they've settled in to an alien environment, they tend to smile where as men don't and are usually too self concious unless they are a professional model, then they do the work for me and I just keep pressing the button.
I think peer pressure, but on a much higher level than normal peer pressure. It's always been the way, it's not new. Women have been obsessed with make up for generations now, and have done crazy diets for generations. Look at the corsets women used to wear that wrecked their insides. Foot binding in China. Lots of things. There is one Victorian diet that is chewing your food for 30 seconds or something, spitting out anything solid and swallowing any liquid in your mouth... Basically saliva lol. All over the globe, for so many generations, there has been huge pressure for girls and women to look certain ways.
As a woman the blame is mostly on men. Women want to find someone and they never feel good enough for the men since men always seem to want the impossible, the nonexsisting perfect woman. As someone who looks a lot like the girl on the right (and its kinda creepy since I have never seen that pic before and we have the exact same body and very smilar face) I can tell you that many men are not into that look so yeah, its harsh but I am working my way. Also look at the way the guys speak on this site: "Overweight... Not beautiful" "22 BMI is too fat for me" "There is no such thing too skinny" "Being underweight is healthy" "Being fat is unattractive and unhealthy" "All overweight people are lazy" All of these things were said by boys in this site (they are not worthy to be called men)
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I think that media, social media, and specifically men are the biggest reasons why women are not happy with their bodies, not so much just "peers."
The reason why I said men is because a guy can have a girlfriend who works out a lot and has a nice body, yet he's following a few / lot of girls who just wear skimpy clothes and pretend to be cute, and such a guy look at those girls' pictures behind his girlfriend, liking and/or commenting on those pictures, but never complimented on his girlfriend.
How would a woman feel confident about her body, if her man has been looking elsewhere and never complimented on how good she looks?
4
2 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
I forgot to say that personal experiences can affect how women think about our/their bodies as well.
For some it could be the sense of control of themselves. Some people grow up in families where there are rules for everything, and they're not allowed to make their own decisions, not allowed to live on their own when they're adults, or go anywhere with friends (I'm talking about adults past 25 years old). For people with this kind of experience, they might use their own body image as the only thing they can control, and can get very obsessed with it.
For me, my goals changed from being skinny, to being strong and gaining muscle mass. When I was skinny, I realized that I didn't feel confident, although I would be happy when people called be skinny or tiny.
I've gained nice curves from weight lifting and building muscles, but I'm not completely happy with my body overall. I think I could gain more muscle mass and definition, endurance and strength.
These are my personal goals, but I believe that the factors which I listed, are valid influences of why women are obsessed with their body images.
I think media has given a lot of young girls and boys the false mindset that all men want or should want some slim thicc queen. Over the years of high school, I've learned to embrace my body image, but whenever I got too skinny people would tell me to eat, and whenever I got too fat people would tell me to lay off the snacks. I personally feel that judging someones body type, fat or skinny isn't helping. Telling someone they need to eat a hamburger and asking them if they want to join you at the gym are two completely different things.
Women are their own worst enemies in this regard. I can't begin to guess how many women I know have done something completely ridiculous in the name of making themselves look more attractive solely because their (usually jealous) girl friends told them too. More often than not, it isn't an improvement either.
The celebrity fandom culture is an entirely different monster of it's own, which I absolutely abhor. It is one of the few things I universally hate about modern society, especially in the USA.
Because men are such visual creatures women and many times younger women feel a ton of pressure to be fit and look good down to the details. Entire industries rely on women wanting to appear beautiful and sexy. If men were less visual this would mean less pressure.
Yes, the media, entertainment, and other industries create almost a toxic environment where even the most ‘perfect’ bodies are often a result of photoshop and airbrushing. Women suffer by eating less and less to be thin and resort to unhealthy habits to meet the image of society.
I have a 5 year old niece and she is told that she is beautiful. I want her to feel confident and empowered to live her best life and will continue to do what I can to help promote her self esteem. She shouldn’t have to feel this unachievable standard and instead realize she is beautiful the way God made her to be.
It's a lot of pressure. I suffer with self-esteem. We are taught that beauty is the best attribute women can offer. I'm struggling trying to even understand what to wear. Everything has to be on point and if not you are judged severely. It's a sad reality. Good question.
Simple answer they want to look good. Who doesn't want to look good who actually wants to be fat? As far as I know nobody does and that's not just for looks but also for health. It is a fact that skinny and muscular people are healthier. It is also a fact that most people but not all are attracted to thinner people.
As a side note men do this also I know because I am one. I am on a muscle building diet not only for strength but to impress women has nothing to do with media but my own self drive. I am constantly freaking about my body because I want too look good, be healthy, and be strong. Most women are probably the same.
Most Helpful Opinions