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self love is important work on yourself its nice to want to look good. But don't make it something to overthink about, your beautiful the way u are, you just have to realize it. And stop going on social media and tick tock and all that cuz your gonna compare yourself to those girls, and you have to remember comparison is the thief of joy. Can't nobody be you and can't nobody be them, I used to be like that but I do my hair and put mascara on but that is all sometimes ion even wear it and guys be at me so just be yourself otherwise seek help because this been going on for a while be yourself and you will attract the right people.
You will faze out of it I promise. When I was a teen I also cared too much about my appearance and sought out validation from strangers in real life and online. I'm 25 now and I've popped out a kid. I seriously couldn't care less about how people perceive me now. I know I'm beautiful and I don't need anyone else to tell me that. 😎✌️
Opinion
31Opinion
You will be just fine.
First, know that you are not alone, there are lots of women who obsess over their looks well into the later years of there lives, and I mean 60 . Vanity is very prevalent pathology that you can overcome if you take the steps to properly address it.
When looking to make a substantial changes in the way one thinks and behaves one must know that it will NOT happen over night. A change in attitude requires patience and vigilance. You may be the exception, but most 17 years olds are quite short in those two traits so the work will likely begin there.
1. Social media is a psychological menace.
I don't know if you have any accounts but if you do, I'm sure this is one of the primary sources of your angst. IG, Tinder, SC and several other apps that encourage superficial engagement predicated on staus often gained by way of appearance, is a negative feedback loop you want to distance yourself from. While in that world you can find yourself engaging with people who only reinforce your poor behavior. And because you seek out validation those who have the ability to recognize that pull you in deeper with compliments and attention, some of the commenters here have knowingly or unknowingly are done so on this post. So in a nutshell quit or at least ween off of social media. Set limits and alerts of how long you're allowed to be on, and if possible quit altogether until your more mature and ready for it.
2. Stimulation is addictive.
There have been people who have struggled with vanity before home computers were invented much less social media. Although social media as amplified the condition, making it far more potent and lethal, it isn't the genesis of it. Make no mistake about it your quest for attention and validation is a stimulant, and the more seek it out the stronger your tolerance grows and the more you require. This is a cycle you must break!
I have much more to say but I don't want to take over your page. I suppose you'll respond if you find this helpful and we can discuss it further.
Let's say you get a job, and it is important for you to hold onto that job. Everyday, you go to work and give your boss a bowl of ice cream and then sit down and spend the rest of the day reading romance novels. You'll wonder the reason you get fired. After all, you did give your boss ice cream everyday.
I don't care how much you focus on your looks. Youth is something no one can hold onto. What will you be left with when your youth is behind you? If you want long-term results, choose long-term actions. What will truly be valued for decades rather than just the few moments it happens to be new? Let's say the most beautiful woman in the world lays down naked on a bed and says, "tell me when it's over." Though this might be functional with new partners, once the partner has experienced her, there won't be a continued draw... for she has nothing to offer other than one-time newness. You're putting all your eggs into one basket and then becoming overprotective of that basket and smothering it.
Identify what you want long-term, not just for the moment. Then, identify what is likely to draw valued people in and hold their interest long-term. I'm not saying to ignore your appearance, but don't assume that's all you need to focus on to get the life you want.
Girls are taught all they need to do is look pretty, and someone will appear and provide them with whatever they wish. Believing this fantasy, a girl focuses on her looks. Someone actually does show up and fulfills her fantasy... till he gets bored with her. He then passes her down to the next guy... till he gets bored with her. She continues to get passed down, till she has no looks to offer. She finds herself bitter and resentful. After all, she did what she was supposed to do. Identify and focus on what holds a person's interest rather than just what attracts a person's interest.
Daaaaum you are beautiful.
You need help. You are about to step in adult world as in being independent female.
Your main focus will be career and your job. You won't have time for looks. Doing essays and running to classes, trust me looks is the less thing you want to know in college. Back in my days I've seen girls that always care about the looks but always trying to find someone to do their homework or pass their test.
Results, is bad. Depending what career you choose and stepping on the field you study. Well, guess what... can do sh*t 🤷♂️. The only option you are able to use "THE" Bachelor degree, in a retail store but the salary won't be the same. When you main goal was to pursue a better life with a better paying job. All because of your looks.
Seek doctor attention about your addiction.
Stop watching to much Tick Toks or YouTube videos about looks or new ways to look. Whats the point working for a retail store, get paid every two weeks and returned your money to the store by buying beauty products? Just buy the necessary beauty products that you need for your daily. Buying different brands and have the same results 🤷♂️. All because the ads claims is good? Ads is just a bait.
1. Get your heart broken
2. Realize you ain't shit
3. Make something of yourself
4. Appreciate your accomplishments
5. Notice the shift in how you value yourself
6. Continue to put effort into your appearance
7. Look in the mirror and compliment yourself
8. Realize you can support yourself emotionally
9. Be filled with confidence
10. Distance yourself from social media
The order doesn't matter so much, but I think you've got to have a fair number of these pieces to fully understand and feel peace. Hope this helps
To start believing you're beautiful, do this exercise:
1. Choose an idol - can be anyone - an actress, a sportsperson, a politician, an author - you get the idea, just choose any woman as your idol.
2. Try and learn as much as possible about your idol - her life, her work, challenges she faced, her motivations - just go through as much material as you can for as long as you want.
3. Try imbibing her qualities and her values in yourself - that's all there is to being beautiful - having your own set of values and living up to them.
And once you start believing that, you won't care about your appearance.
Do let me know who's your idol!
Pro tip: Don't choose any social media influencer/makeup artist as your idol.
As a woman in her late 20’s I can say that you will grow out of this eventually.
Maybe start with a few steps in the meantime:
1) do a social media cleanse - no apps for a while
2) take 2-3 days of just being at home, no makeup, with yourself doing things you like. Reading, drawing, watching tv etc.
3) start a positive journal. In it, write things you like about yourself daily that have nothing to do with vanity.
Hope this helps!
Get off of social media. As someone that has gotten off myself, I found myself not looking for validation. There’s too much competitive bs on looks on social media and I think it’s completely toxic.
It sounds like an addiction. The only 2 ways I know to beat an addiction are:-
1) Get professional help, or help from friends
2) Beat it by yourself by stopping what you know is causing the addiction.
Question is, do you REALLY want to stop or are you just saying it?
Ong you are very pretty. You need to work on your self confidence
Beautiful looks only do one thing "create hormonal reactions on males".
The good ones won't do anything as they can control themselves.
But many perverts will come to take advantage of you, use you and then discard once they find someone better.
I've never seen any of your questions so I don't know I think you do very very good on makeup jobs I love the way your eye looks I wish I could see you full of full face I would love to see what that looks like and this is a hard question to answer because I haven't seen any of your questions before so I don't even know how you ask them if I knew that then I could see what you're searching for and I could help you but I can't without knowing everything
Hmm I think it’s natural, don’t feel bad for it. The people who shame you for it are just assholes. And you’re really pretty.
It's good to look good, so you shouldn't stop caring. And if you seek validation from others... Well people who don't have the look will always call you insecure for that and shame you, but at the same time it shows some sort of humbleness as you ask for external feedback. It's quite impossible to be objective about ourselves, so it's normal to "seek validation" to see where we're standing. Stop being insecure about being insecure
Because you are insecure, and because you might also compare yourself too much to other instagram models like many many many many girls do.
And it's not healthy, you are stunning, but quit seeking approvements, it's not healthy,
Learn to not give a rats ass.
Go out with no makeup on or fancy clothes.
And notice how all strangers don't care. That's the thing about being a teen you think everyone is looking at you all the time.
When in reality nobody cares so why should you? If they don't like it well that's their problem not yours.
I really don't know what to say. You're a person who wasn't born this way and people still loved you. The ones who love you for your looks won't love you forever. But you already know these things. I'm sure you're smart, kind, funny and all that. Focus on thinking about others from time to time. You'll start living yourself differently
-----------Try seeking validation through other means. Find a passion and purpose in life. Let that validate you and make you feel good.
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG
I think it's natural for teenage girls to do this :) are you going to college? If yes then you may become so busy and focused on studying that those interests will take your time and attention away from your looks. If no then take time to learn another language, even if you are already multilingual, because it takes a lot of effort and will help focus your mind on something else other than perfecting your physical appearance.
Stop using social media. Consider enlisting in one of our military branches. You'll forget the small stuff, get in great shape, and you will have confidence in yourself.
You’re a 17 year old girl. Your only and I mean literally your only value is your attractiveness. If you realize this and don’t fuck around, you’ll have a good life as long as you settle in with a guy by 24, but wait much longer and it will become near impossible on a very short timeline.
Men don’t find success attractive, don’t chase it.
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