Gentlemen: The ONE key that could help make approaching women a lot easier (Page 2)
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this mytake
It is so unbelievable nice to hear this from a "lady"... its so refreshing. I am going to print this and stick it next to my bed. Thank you for appreciating us good gentleman out there.
THANK YOU :)
LOL ur welcome! it's even more refreshing to see a man take it so wonderfully =]
gentlemen need to be recognised in a world where they are becoming scare.
i appreciate ur feedback ;)
thanks, it was really useful advice.
i appreciate that. you're welcome :) :)
I loved this myTake. It was amazing. Thank you for recognizing Gentleman and helping us to get past ourselves to understand women as well.
I really like that you stated if women think chivalry is sexist, it's her problem.
your welcome, nice to know at least some men have appreciated it.
definitely. always good to consider both sides.
I just noticed
Gentlemen's Rule #77. That pic is so true. Where did you find it, or does anyone know where the rest of the rules are? lol.
Oh i just looked up being a gentleman on google images, but i recommend just typing 'rules of being a gentleman' and you should find them.
I think its best to use them as a guide though=]
what is the difference between rules and guides, in your opinion?
i believe that 'rules' is a bit of a more restrictive term that make someone feel like they HAVE to abide by certain things to by successful. A guide, to me, is more like merely paving the path to success. How you choose to make the journey is up to you, making it a little more flexible. this is just my opinion though.
I can see your point. I think maybe sometimes I choose which rules I want to follow at times. But I think it's cause I know most women won't let me abide with some of the rules that I WANT to follow.
Like trying to carry something for a lady. Or offering a jacket when it's cold out.
Is it wrong to use the "label" of Lady and Women where Ladies accept chivalry from men and women are people who don't approve of the idea?
tbh I've never thought of the difference between 'lady' and 'woman'. they really are synonymous for the most part, it's just that the word 'lady' now carries an air of elegance about it for some reason.
"PROBLEM: You approach her with the intention of potentially being your date, your girl, your bxtch."
I solved that one long ago. its real lol.
For reals? I've been going about it wrong the whole time? 😮
@jwhit when I used to only approach a girl because my end goal was being in a relationship with her, that mindset changed the entire game. it sometimes works, and other times it doesn't, but the thing is, when it doesn't work, you end up in utter fucking disappointment.
if you approach a girl with no intentions of becoming bf/gf, just looking forward to making a new friend, then it changes everything, and you have a better chance at actually making that friend and now you have your toe in the door.
Yeah I feel you on that, just go in with no expectations. You're right it could work out either way and that's the sucky part about it. You come in looking for friendship and hopefully she doesn't think it's all you'll ever be because you know sometimes a girl will think he'd never see me that way because he's only been friendly from the start. They get into their own heads as much as we do.
@jwhit that is true as well, its not wrong to be somewhat hopeful when approaching someone, we're all human. ultimately, I just say be yourself and go for it lol.
But I guess becoming friends first just allows you to show how you are as a person without the pressure of becoming something and just letting me fall for you naturally, I don't know.
You're right, thanks for the words of wisdom OG lol.
@jwhit its all good man. best of luck on your endeavors :P
Thanks for the support. Glad u figured it out.
I like this mytake a lot. But can this also be applied to approaching a girl in public who you've never met before and may never see again? I agree with the friends approach but wouldn't you need to ask for her number at some point during the initial meeting anyway?
thank you. well never seeing her again is a choice isn't it? if u wanna see her again, u should establish that u wanna do that. i just think holding out until she offers her number is a good idea. if she doesn't do it, chances are she probably isn't interested. that's just my opinion though. u dont have to agree with everything in the take if u dont wish to =]
There are a lot of good points here, the complexity of people just demands that certain tactics are used at certain times.
It's a difficult thing to come up with a game plan for people because of how diverse we are, there just isn't a one size fits all solution.
I myself am not good at coddling others, I tell it like it is, and I want to hear it like it is, meaning comes from understanding after all, not intention.
can i just say, it's been a long time since a positive opinion was here, so i assumed this was gonna be another one.
thank u for at least trying to understand the message i was delivering.
that's so true, but for some reason people expected to believe that i had created something that would solve the problems of all men.
different things work for different people. i just listed this one because i know it has helped many men that i know here and in my everyday life.
I appreciate your effort, you're trying to help people by doing this and that's admirable.
A lot of people don't like to think on their own, their tired or miserable or what have you and they don't summon the effort.
So often they'll expect things to be figured out for them, and when it disagrees with what they already think, or it doesn't answer some certain issue for them, they'll lash out because it's the only way they can vent their emotion and/or feel powerful.
eh, thanks.
very true. oh well, whatcha gonna do *shrugs*
I seem to be on my way to becoming cynical, but I'm keeping it at bay so far.
well i hope not, however i will acknowledge any conflicting opinions with weight to them.
soooo, my Banana :) :D
I really liked your MyTake
and you are right: you have to be careful with what vibe you give off. Makes a whole lot of difference.
It was so nice of you to make MyTake to help these guys :)
Kuddos
thanks for your support hun.
PS: i saw ur convo with that other guy. dont worry about him. if we ignore him he'll shut up xx
indeed
no problem :)
The problem with this is that the girl starts to think that I want to be just friends.
If I go and flat out ask if the girl is interested she finds it "creepy" because she doesn't know whether she is interested in me yet.
I only need 30 seconds to determine if a person is worth my time. It starts with her appearance and then I see how the conversation flows.
Recently I've noticed that I'm trying to force the conversation to flow when I should just give up and move on if it doesn't.
I've been too focused on attempting to take a hot girl and making her compatible to me instead of checking if she's compatible.
again, friendship is used as a foundation, not a tool. u guys really didn't get that bit did u? lol.
but look, whatever works for u =] i personally would not date a man without starting off as his friend.
I don't have the time to play games. I hate being horny that is why that feeling needs to go away as soon as possible. I do care about the personality a lot but when it comes to basic needs I see myself willing to make exceptions as long as this awful feeling goes away.
not games... this is not a game.
but ok. not sure what to tell u lol. do ur thing.
It is a game though.
Lvl 1 approach and get number
Lvl 2 stay in touch and become friends
Lvl 3 hang out often and get her to like me
Lvl 4 do what it takes to take the relationship to the next level
to me, it is not a game. if u view it as a game, this is your perception.
i dont consider it a game. i consider it a goal.
I always approach women like im trying to aproach a wild gazelle or a deer, you aproach them from the side not the back or front to seem to agressive and you aproach with relaxed body launage and a smile seems to work for me most times.
But then so do the ah fuck it just roll with it mentallity :P
LOL! 😂 i instantly thought of a David Attenborough documentary when i read that.
whatever works for u mate! sounds nice and simple though, as it should be =]
This presumes the goal is to get her to engage with you.
It's not.
The goal is to find a girlfriend or sex partner, depending on the case. If that isn't a possibility, than getting a NO as soon as possible is BETTER because otherwise you're just wasting time you could be spending finding someone who is interested in you.
If anything I'd suggest a lot of guys have the opposite problem - they hide their intentions to avoid getting a no. It's true that moving slowly rather than fast very, very, very slightly improves the odds of success (to a point, and then it hurts it). But it's not remotely worth moving slowly for that slight improvement.
Most girls will not be interested in you unless you're a super model with high status. Some girls will, if you've worked on yourself. So the key is actually to be friendly and flirty, and interact with tons of girls looking for positive feedback, and moving on fast when it's not there.
A great take Anna!
I learned a lot here... oh gosh if one day I run into you I can't fail now :D
Okay, I'l be chivalrous, I'll smile and I won't compliment you too much on your looks. I'll focus on the nice person you are. :D
Hope I've learned the right lessons!
i know a better solution: if you're so damn anal about how you want men to approach you, maybe the better solution is to advise men not to do it and to demant women to do it XD cause then they don't get to complain.
i mean you're making an effort to improve the situation for everybody, i see that and i appreciate that but well really those are the things everyone says anyway. approaching people sucks. you get stuck in your head and you just find yourself talking utter shit that you KNOW will deter her. that's just how it is for us men. we know better but in that situation, what you know doesn't really matter.
All I see from this is one HUGE high maintenance bitch.
while you make some points, they get lost in the fact that if a compliment makes a woman go through all those things, she is pretty screwed up and may be worth avoiding.
I agree someone should ask for a name and such. but that fact that many women refuse to go after men and want men to come to them, they need to take that into consideration and realize it is not easy and can be nerve wracking to some.
i am seriously going to pretend that u didn't just make a personal attack on someone u dont know. unless i completely misunderstood that statement.
im not sure if u read the first few lines of the take. i considered that men would come here and talk about women approaching men. i said i wasn't writing about that, but men who WANTED to approach women.
women who can't appreciate a man approaching them to begin with have serious issues and they aren't worth the approach. those r the women that ruin it for the rest of us, and the reason y some men dont wanna approach us.
ty for the input.
I read what you wrote. and I stand by what I say. If a woman has so many insecurities those things go through her mind, then good because I don't want her near me.
have those women go after men like we have to and see how they feel about it.
But admittedly I realize your take is from the viewpoint of a young person. Until you get older, esp men, and realize you don't need to stand for such pettiness in women, the cycle goes on. Look for a woman that has more self worth then the ones you describe above. that is my advice to men looking to approach women.
i'm not sure where our disagreement lies tbh. i would never condone a man approaching a woman with little self worth so I'm not sure how that came across...
everything under "hi you look beautiful, can I have your number" on through all of Number 1 and parts of number 3. first off, how do you get "it's objectifying". all I read on this post is how much women worry about their looks. and unfortunately, many many women allow society to dictate looks and all the things that go with it. So you do all the things to look "beautiful" yet you try and say it is objectifying if a guy calls her beautiful. That is just complete horseshit. it is a compliment. If she is a woman that takes what he said and anything from number 1 or just above it goes through her mind, then she is a waste of time and it would be better not to have her in your life (also parts of number 3).
I completely agree with you about number 2. HOWEVER, most women, since they just sit back and make the man do all the work, don't understand how nerve wracking it is to approach a woman you don't know. esp when your young and inexperienced.
So sometimes you just need to get the statement out. Then fill in the rest or get to know the other information after she agrees.
I personally, would never approach someone out on the street but I have known guys that do.
lol, im not saying if he calls her beautiful it's objectifying. u kidding me? I'm saying the rashness of the approach CAN be considered objectifying, because of the reasons i listed, such as not taking the time to introduce himself or ask for her name first. I'm not summarising humanity here, just remember that.
well id like to think i understand the fear since i have tried and done it myself, but even then, for some reason it's not a believable statement. take it how u will =]
this is possibly the greatest thing I have seen on this site.
the only problem is that don't you think talking about classes is kinda boring lol?
like if I ask her "hey what did you get on your mid term?" wouldn't she think why does he care?
also is there any time where it's too weird to ask a girls name and tell her mine considering I had two months to do it but I hesitated?
great job by the way
oh gosh, thank you so much. i really appreciate it.
haha i personally wouldn't mind it, and i know other girls wouldn't. of course it is just an example =] or lol u could get a bit of humour out of it and make fun of the lecturer or tutor :P I've had people do that to me haha, really breaks the ice. like "is it just me or could you barely understand a word she was saying?" 😂
but dont ask about grades lol, that's terrible :P
i think it would be nice to clear up names and introductions from the beginning. just so she can attach ur looks to a name. but i mean if it happens a little later that's ok too, a little mysterious even :P
I've always been a gentleman, but always a shy one...
I don't understand 1.
I have 3 and 8 down just fine.
6 will be easy.
10 doesn't sound terribly hard.
2, 4, 5, 7, and 9 are really hard because I'm shy...
excellent. =] i dont think there's anything wrong with being shy. it helps keep u grounded in these kinds of situations i believe.
by warm vibes, i mean being friendly. being honest with your intention and just trying to be nice. u wanna make a calm but cheerful impression on her. it's always nice and it can be quite infectious :)
as for the others, dont let shyness hold u back. let it ground u, but dont let it stop u. approaching is one of those things that takes courage, and if a woman can't appreciate that, it's her problem and she's rude and ungrateful. not ur issue. i would suggest trying to work on one at a time until u feel confident with them all. for example, tell yourself, "ok I'm just gonna smile at 3 women today. just quickly". more than likely, they'll smile back, and when they do, ur confidence will increase!
The first half at least of warm vibes sound easy.
Being grounded and being stuck are not the same thing... It seems I simply just have so little courage...
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1747628-opinions-on-my-shyness
Getting the courage I need to start a conversation with a girl is actually just about the same as starting one with a guy. In fact, conversations with girls may be easier than with guys after they begin. I've never tried to say anything about a possible date, though. My conversations with girls have always been casual.
The only good piece of as advice on here is the don't over do compliments one. I have girls by flipping them off before. The best thing to do is saying stuff that you find funny, not give a fuck about being rejected and approach a lot.
sure, if that works for ya =] can't create a take that caters to each of u personally lol.
Totally useless. Men won't approach unless they are interested in sex, because Mother Nature in her wisdom, wants us to reproduce. We are NOT interested in being your friend first in general, maybe specific men (such as myself) are, but that's all. So when you criticize our motives in that regard you are pissing in Ma Nature's face. You should want us to approach you in the manner Ma Nature intended, to uphold this Divine Design, not in the way that YOU wish we would, as if Nature didn't exist.
i wonder if u would have had the balls to post this without going anon.
i know it isn't useless since people have benefited from it. world doesn't revolve around just u, but thanks for ur feedback lol.
Yes I would, I go it for various reasons, in fact I almost never post non-anon. I don't personally care if you know my handle, but I have found that by allowing it that various viruses have gotten into my computer and I lost 1,000 CD's worth of music in my hard drive when a person from another forum specifically sent me a virus, it was an icon on my desktop that when I opened it, it visually exploded and shortly thereafter the computer stopped working. Also people troll based on age, like they want anyone my age to just go FOAD. Do not assume you know my motivations!
lol right.
i had no assumptions, hence y i said 'i wonder' when i could have easily said 'hah, u dont have the balls', make sense?
Lmfao!
This advice definitely does work.
If you're physically attractive, that is. Lol Or, if it works, it's usually later on when the woman's shelf life has gone down considerably and she realizes her options are limited due to her beliefs that she can't have what she truly desires.
But, I won't shit on woman. Men do this too.
I have one question, how fine is the line between her seeing you just as a friend or her seeing that you want a relationship with her? I mean is that if you don't act fast enough she thinks you just want a friendship, but if you immediately ask her out, she'll see you as creepy. I was just wondering how fine the line there is between the two.
Nice take!!! written well! It can help out some guys, like you helped me! You just forgot to have the guts to ask her out in the end ;) :p
thanks man =] i appreciate it.
it was a pleasure helping u out. haha my mistake ;P
it's all good :)
Tried just wanting to be friends, doesn't work. Not just for dates, but as friends too.
that's fine. not everything works for everyone. thanks for reading.