Why guys ignore/avoid girls they seem to like sometimes

[Anonymous]

Hey, I've seen so many posts about girls who like guys, think the guys like them but they are for some reason ignoring them even though these girls know for a fact that the guy is hiding some feelings or admiration for them, so why? Why do guys act like that ?

Why do we guys ignore girls when it seems we like them?

I am a guy, and I've been put in such situations more than few times tbh, a little about me: 6'2, good body (average-not skinny but not overweight at all and in good shape- used to work out before for quite a while), funny, nice, witty, smart and careless, and (and I am not trying to show off or anything, it's for the sake of this myTake and it's not my own opinion but those around me) very good looking, yes I've been told by girls, yes I've been stared at quite lot and even got some interest signs from taken girls (Didn't work out but on that later) so it's safe to assume that I should be able to get a girl whenever I want, right ?... Wrong, and the reason?

Girls, you truly dont know how to give signs and when you do we have so many things to be afraid of so we usually dont approach you or say anything until you make it pretty clear that you like us; don't get me wrong it's obvious to notice when a girl likes us .... and that's when problems arise, we get the looks, (from a low angle), staring, checking out, you treat us nice, we feel like something could actually happen, then this happens......

You give signs even though you are taken, even though you know nothing will ever happen and you are not interested yet you give signs, and I know from trial and error and being turned down by some girls that while they seemed way too interested and willing and giving me signs right and left (I am not talking about looking at me once, I am talking about at least a month or two worth of signs) looks, staring, seeming really interested in us and what we have to say just to find out later on that you were just enjoying your time an attractive guys and are not interested in going any further.

So guys who avoid girls that seem to show interest in them even though they seemed to care themselves before, do it for one of these reasons:

1- They are afraid of the girl being taken: Because lots of girls give strong signs and seductive looks, gestures yet end up taken and we all know that it does not work out if the person you're interested in is already taken.

2- They are afraid of getting rejected: Because while you really were fun and interesting and enjoyed giving and recieving attention you were not willing to go any further and it shows when we try to get closer just for you get distant and stop acting interested and even avoiding us sometimes.

These things apply to both genders, however I've noticed that girls do it way more often than guys. And guys are usually more about sex. So you're gonna get something alright even if it's not a relationship. Also most guys dont approach girls they're not interested in dating even for a short while.

[BuchitaBuchys]

I agree that women seriously need to stop with that "I gave him all the signs!" Crap. But unfortunately, it's working out in our favor still for the most part because some guys are at our wavelength and can pick up our cues.

I don't give signs, I'll ask out. So unless I personally asked you out or tell you I like you, consider everything else platonic. If I smile at you, just being friendly. If I ask how you're doing, yes I care, but like friends not lovers care. If I laugh at your jokes, I found you funny not necessarily sexy I have a pretty broad sense of humor though and I can easily laugh at science and punny jokes as well as dank memes and even dark humor.

Anyways, things girls normally do that are "signals", are literally everyday behavior if you aren't a rock and show miniscule emotion and manners, I don't even get how guys are supposed to pick up on them, and I'm a girl! Stop that ladies, this is why men think I'm interested in them just because I greet them. I'm like wtf? No, I asked what's up, not if your dick is up, relax. But I realize it's not completely men's fault because this is the "cues" women give.

[myTake Owner]

thats the problem with me and women , men usually make it clear women dont , the act the same everyday then expect us to know when the switch flips and they go into "i like you " mood but its hard to tell when you are acting the same everyday...

Also joking, greeting, asking questions, laughing... etc yes these are normal behaviours nothing that shows "love" or interest , however some girls (as in my case ) decide to up their game by staring at me everytime they see me despite having literally hundreds of guys around ( its college you know... ) or some even going out of their way to say hi and start and conversation and get engaged even though iam hardly the only guy there , yet they seem to care the most about me , but they're taken and so iam like " well... iam not getting this... whats going on? what is her goal?"

[myTake Owner]

men and women *

[myTake Owner]

mode*

[lacorine197]

I don't give signs, I'll ask out. So unless I personally asked you out or tell you I like you, consider everything else platonic. If I smile at you, just being friendly. If I ask how you're doing, yes I care, but like friends not lovers care. If I laugh at your jokes, I found you funny not necessarily sexy I have a pretty broad sense of humor though and I can easily laugh at science and punny jokes as well as dank memes and even dark humor.-

Why can't more girls be like this!

[myTake Owner]

@lacorine197 lol then they complain that guys are approaching them way too much , i mena comeon girls !! if you dont like him dont act like you no one is forcing you, i knew a girl once who had 3 BFs in a row and flirted with lots of guys who showed interest in her, she lost lots of friends and was mad nad upset and i was like " well , Dafuq did you expect? you flirted with single guy in a 100 mile radius, its not their fault" she knew her problem and didn't argue much with me i was straightforward with her and even now she still does that iam sure, just girls dont learn , i know another girl who gives strong signs of attraction, she also hangs out with this guy who is good looking as well and they hang out a lot... she's engaged , so yeah

[BuchitaBuchys]

@lacorine197 because it's not working out in my favor lol This doesn't seem to work, but I don't care.

[lacorine197]

exactly

[lacorine197]

well don't give up keep trying!! cause there's obviously gotta be more guys like me who won't mind it!

[BuchitaBuchys]

@lacorine197 it's not just that. It's that if it came from an attractive woman, I'm sure they'd be more receptive.
"Strong" attitude + ugly girl = no man's dream lol

[lacorine197]

don't say that I'm sure you're beautifull. beauty is a subjective thing, so someone's beautiful to someone.

[BuchitaBuchys]

@lacorine197 I know. Patience is what I need but I'm not patient lol

[lacorine197]

you right! lol patience is definitely a hard task to conquer!

[Anonymous]

Your so right about the not showing us clear signs. I cannot tell you how often I see this. She says "I made it obvous". He says that she "showed no interest."

Guys don't respond to subtlety. A flip of the hair isn't enough. Girls actually have to do something in the dating game. Masking their desire for men to do everything so that a girl can avoid her insecurities, by claiming that it is tradition, or the responsibility of a man, is pathetic. "But that's the way it's always been." What like throughout history? The same history that women understandably resent so much?
What's really interesting is the women who shout "men need to man up and take on their responsibility!" And yet she's the same one who won't rise up to her own, but rather wants man who will pay for her and care for her and do all the risk taking in dating.

[Sixgun77]

Not to mention that when we make the mistake of approaching a girl who isn't into us, not only are we rejected, but we also get called creepy and shit like that.

[Anonymous]

I'm going to tell you a secret about women; they LOVE attention, male attention, female attention, any form of attention to inflate their self esteem. A lot of girls use guys and go as far as to give signs of interest (sitting on his lap, touching, staring, etc) for the validation they'll get from the men that will give it to them. It's that simple. I can see how off putting that is for males and confusing, so when men act that way for the reasons you mentioned, it's quite understandable. But there are guys, who pull away like that once they have gotten what they wanted from the girl. That's another topic though.

[myTake Owner]

I understand that , ireally do but i usually think the girl iam looking at or talking to is mature enough, needless to say i've bene wrong on so many ocassions women simply dig attention and there is no such thing as mature when it comes to it... my ex girlfriend who broke up with me wanted to tay in touch , thats cool i dont mind but she wanted the same kind of attention i used to give her, texts, phone calls... etc i couldnt do it and told her i can't do it i want sex and to feel connected to her , she didn't want sex... thats cool except tha she still tries contacting me from time to and wants me text her and call her... but i made it clear , it ain't happening , i respect women but i have my limits.

[ArtDent]

Yep. Use me merely for ego boosting once, shame on you.
Use me merely for ego boosting twice, shame on me.

I don't exist for the purpose of feeding female ego.

[myTake Owner]

@ArtDent I like girls and i want to treat them well but iam no doormat but any means , iam not gonna feed them ego or go out of my way for it , also... i found out that being a prick works best

[Enaya]

This guy tried flirting with me and even though I am bad at it I showed interest by trying to keep in touch with him. He would ask indirect questions to find out if I was single but never really ask. He was so repressed even though I asked him out even to show my interest. I knew in mu heart that he liked me even though my reasoning and friends said he didn't. I knew because he was shy and very loner like. He stopped texting and i stopped trying after a few months. I still regret losing the only real connection i felt with a guy. What do you think was his problem?

[Cusco_Othriyas]

Pretty sure you answered your own question. He's shy. That's his damn problem, hell it's my problem too, I'm just too afraid to be direct. Chasing's hard.

[myTake Owner]

I am a college student who is friendw ith everyone , girls and guys i joke pretty much with any girl i can find no matter how hot or smart she is that does not matter to me at all since i realized from day one that i have the upper hand and they find me attractive and are not gonna be bitches to me if i do something a thats a little too much so iam using that advantage but i am not insulsting them...

With that being said i've learned recently that almsot all the girls in my classes are taken , iam not joking nor generalising they are literally all taken and they said it themselves some are even engaged , so you do understand why i would never approach any of them , some gave me really strong signs yet ended up being take and iam glad i didn't ruin it by purusing them , iam completley unsure of how to get a girl in this day and age , i had a girlfriend but we broke up and it seems all girls are taken these days , not a single single girl and iam not even exageraing

[ArtDent]

Problem? You weren't direct, you relied on indirect hints and you lost. Why is that 'his' problem?

[Enaya]

@ArtDent I was direct. I asked him out. What else could I do if he was not even comfortable saying anything past asking questions about my social life?

[ArtDent]

Oh, I saw that you asked indirect questions. When you asked, were you clear it was a date? Just out of curiosity

[Enaya]

@ArtDent not really clear

[Anpu23]

Rejection is a very real fear see: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a9502-why-guys-don-t-hit-on-pretty-girls as an example of some of the reasons why. As for a girl being taken, that's just another form of rejection isn't it? There are also reasons why the guy, himself might not want to be in a relationship. That doesn't mean that he won't look, but he just isn't interested in the relationship.

[myTake Owner]

Rejection is the reason guys are afraid of hitting on girls you are right, they are afraid after all the signs and fun the girl will not accept to date them and its a real fear, as i said i do get signs all the times but i learned to ignore most of them since i knew beforehand that these girls are taken and happy in their relationship so i just use them for ego boost

[Gustafsone12584]

This time, I had to speak up on this topic. So true my friend. Glad you touched based on a lot.

I tend to think woman put a lot of mistakes, and then tend to blame us for not understanding. Now of course, that's a my prospective, and of course you've pointed out a number of areas.

I thank you for your post :)

[Anonymous]

Yeah, i don't think it's right for girls to flirt with guys when they're already with someone. That's when we're more likely to do it though, because we already have the security of someone else liking us, and we're not risking anything. Pretty pointless and mean to the guy though.
It seems like guys want girls to make it obvious when they like them, and will not make a move until that happens. But that would just mean we get to make fools of ourselves every time we like a guy, and get laughed at when he's not interested. Never gonna happen.
Personally, I would like a man to be the strong person in the relationship, and I would like to feel respect for him. So if he approaches me and takes the risk, that is an excellent sign he's the kind of guy i want to be with.

[lacorine197]

I feel that is such a waste of time, getting bad or unknown signs and still walking into abyss I don't believe defines strong, but whatever to each their own. *Sips hot chocolate*

[myTake Owner]

Well so you're saying that you are not willing to make a fool out of yourself or evne give me signs that you like me, so i just have to approach a completely stranger girl who may or may not like me... why do i have to be the fool and not you? i dont really understand that point of view, i mean if you like me make it obvious, but if you have a boyfriend please dont ,

[Opinion Owner]

I see where your coming from, girls have to make an effort as well. I think I am looking at it from a different context, as in they know each other on a friendship level first. I wouldn't be keen on meeting someone and going straight from strangers to dating, but that's just personal preference.

[myTake Owner]

guys dont mind geting to know a girl fast but girls do so i try not to move too fast but its quite hard tbh finding a girl , most girls are either taken and give signs or they give no signs at all, its like " approach at your own risk " which is fine sometimes but it gets boring with time

[Tomsta]

I only avoid a girl i like if i know she is taken. I've been in the situation of falling in love with someone who is taken and it destroyed me (emotionally), so now if a person i like is taken, i avoid them at all costs, i don't even acknowledge their existence until my feelings have subsided

[FM223]

In class, my crush stares at me when other people aren't sitting next to him. He tries to avoid eye contact when someone sits next to him. When someone does, he always looks at the corner of his eye. Why do guys do that? Also, in the hallway, my crush doesn't try to look over when he knows I'm walking by.

[myTake Owner]

there's quite a simple explanitaion, at 15( I assume he's 15) guys are kinda... dumb and shy so even if he likes you he doesn't wanna show it, right now at 22 me and my friends dont care much i would tell them who i like and would tell me who they like but back in highschool that didn't exactly happen... now why he looks at you when he's alone? cause no one is beside him no one can see that he likes you therefore no one to make fun of him (you know how young guys are) , as for the hallway part its the same really he's shy to make eye contact when he's sooo close to you, i for instance dont really feel as shy anymore and i made eye contact to determine if i should approach or not (not always though ) but during highschool i would look at the nearest wall or my friends face to not look straight at some girls eyes... how do you fix it? get to know each other throw friends or someone, become friendly to the point of saying at least hi and things will work otu

[myTake Owner]

through*

[FM223]

In class, I feel like he looks at me from the corner of his eye. He sits in the front, and I sit in the back. I wore a nice pretty shirt in school, and I noticed him checking me out from the corner of my eye. He came late to class, and I noticed that when he could have walked by the easier direction, he walked right near me, and he stood so close to my desk and brushed passed it as he walked in. Just I noticed him checking me out in the corner of his eye while raising his eyebrows. I saw him scanning up and down and even formed a smile.

[myTake Owner]

then its pretty safe to assume that he lieks you but he's shy about it

[FM223]

Do you mind sending me a message? I really need help with this situation/

[myTake Owner]

yeah i guess i can

[FM223]

I noticed my crush's friend was pushing him towards me when my crush told him about me. He was talking about me, and when my crush noticed me looking, they both smiled. Later on that was when I noticed his friend pushing him towards me. Why would he do that? To get my crush to talk to me? And what do you think he could have said?

[ChromAzonyx108]

Some guys may also see signs where there are none and misinterpret things. Personally, I'm kind of aloof when it comes to signs - if a girl is interested in me she would have to be very blunt for me to recognize it. Though perhaps I'm aloof on purpose because of the reasons you've outlined.

[myTake Owner]

I used to be kinda like that never noticing if a girl is being nice to me for no reason or tryin to get close but even now and even when i do notice all these things i just keep my distance until i get a strong sign that i can do something with , i dont want to waste my time on a girl who gives false signs

[Anonymous]

"Girls, you truly dont know how to give signs"

For a very long time I had no idea about these signals. It was life changing when I learned about them and started to observe girls sending guys signals, which they more often than not didn't pick up on.

And of course I still don't act upon these signals, because a) I have massive fear of failing, and b) because I have no idea what the heck to say first... and well I can throw in c) it's about time girls started to approach

[MyBunnie]

Wow! This is helpful. Thanks! If you would like to take a look at my recent question, maybe you can also help me and give advices to what I can do. I'd love to hear it. :P

[cyndyrene]

Lol, that's why I just let men now when I'm interested. Because this games y'all play are ridiculous. I'm mean jeez.

[NedfromtheNed]

"Hey Rabbit, you smell something?"
Rabbit: *sniffs air* "Fear."

[Anonymous]

Yep! The taken one is very very true.

Can u help me out pls? girlsaskguys. com/flirting/q1889572-if-you-meet-a-nice-girl-at-uni-but-she-has-a-boyfriend-then-she-is

[Anonymous]

avoid them like the plague! they'll crush your heart and leave you dying from bleeding!

and you won't keep them for long if you aren't a subtly abusing and cocky alpha asshole that doesn't give A CRAP!

[Smells-like-lavender]

Yeah you said it, main cause fear. Is she taken? She's too pretty for me, out of my league , if i approach her she'll plain ignore me, and other things like that.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for letting us know the reasons. This is helpful, good myTake.

[LittleSally]

Fear... we probably all already knew that...

[myTake Owner]

Fear it is that is correct however what kind of fear? fear of what? there many reasons i just gave specefic answers to questions freuqently asked on here , and these two reasons are probably why lots of guys dont make a move on a girl

[LittleSally]

I think everyone is at least a little bit afraid of both of those things - the most important thing to remember is to not let that stop you from going after who you want. =)

[Anonymous]

I'm afraid of being rejected by a woman I really like. It's devastating...

[Anonymous]

Funny thing studies show women who brutally reject men only do so as a knee jerk reaction from being rejected by men they wanted for LTR.

[zagor]

Girls are scary...