Pick-Up Lines: The Good, The Bad, The Weird

[Jenny12345]

Just for laughs

1. Funny but gross: “My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can't hold it in.“

Include a caption for your image…&am

2. The most cringy: ”Girl you fine, I’ll drink you like wine”

I have no idea how a guy “drinks” a girl. Someone explain this.

3. Funny but corny: “Are you a beaver? Cuz dammmm!!!”

4. The most pathetic: “I know an angel like you will never look at a guy like me but could you?”

Oh my. Where do i begin with this? Low self esteem is a turnoff.

5. Cute but geeky: Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?”

Include a caption for your image…&am

6. Most creepy: “You don’t know me but I know you.”

Creepy AF. The guy followed me around for a week.

7. The classic: “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.”

Include a caption for your image…&am

8. The winner: “Hey. How you doin?”

This one is the best especially if you say it like Joey. Its cute, simple, sweet, sexy and affective all in one. It makes me blush all the time.

[Deathraider]

I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.

I wish I was your second derivative so I could investigate your concavities.

I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?

I'm not being obtuse, but you're acute girl.

I'll take you to your limit if you show me your end behavior.

I hope you know set theory because I want to intersect and union you.

Physics round!

Can I have your significant digits?

Top quark or bottom quark?

According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me.

[DDpsy]

I wish you were my math homework so I could put you on my desk and do you all night long.

[IdentetarianimSucks]

Mathematical puns are the first sine of madness

[goaded]

[The_Dean]

Brilliant.

[goaded]

@The_Dean Check out smbc-comics. com there's he manages to come up with a new one every day!

[The_Dean]

@goaded thanks for the tip man! He seems like a legend 😂👍

[Michellediva]

“Girl sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up.“

“You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.”

“Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.”

“If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.”

[CubsterShura]

Some nerdy science pick up lines that I shared on my science page earlier:

If I were an enzyme I'd be DNA helicase so that I can unzip your genes.

You are the acid to my litmus paper. When I meet you, I turn bright red.

Ya girl is a neeeerd. Lol enjoy!

[goaded]

I know a woman who was in a play, and one of her lines, in response to "what do you see in him?" was "It's in his genes!". She didn't get it for the longest time.

[CubsterShura]

Ahahahaha oh damn

[Guy13]

Fun... "Oh sweet Mona-Lisa... from moaning in bed to Mary-possible implications are endless...

[humanearth]

Do you have advanced radiation poisoning? Because you are glowing!

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants!

Is your dad retarded? Because you’re special

I heard you are looking for a stud. I’ve got the STD, all I need is U.

[nathanp97]

Hey girl, did you fall from heaven? because your face looks f***ed up.

Hey girl, what's the difference between an erection and a sandwich? You giving me a sandwich right now.

I feel like the first one could work if she had a strong sense of humor, as you're catching her off gaurd by changing the line from the original.

Anyone think it would work?

[DDpsy]

I don't think It would work but it would sure feel good using it especially on a 10.

[SngBirdy]

This one worked pretty well when i was in the states:
"On a scale from 1 to america, how free are you tomorrow night"

[Nxtawm]

Are you McDonald's? cause I'm lovin you!
Hey lets go get subway, I'll share my foot long with you
Are you Wonder Woman? Cause I'm wondering what you doin tonight.
Ever wonder how many mountains die to make Mountain Dew?

[Nxtawm]

Best one: want me to buy you food?

[MaverickAngel]

I'm really unnapproachable to strangers I've been told.. so I have literally never gotten a pick up line other than "hi... how are you"... Which until I read your post... was kinda a bad thing... 😂😂😂

[EclipseoftheHeart]

Since I'm Lisa I like your Grumpy Cat response. I feel left out because no one ever used corny lines on me. :(

[EclipseoftheHeart]

@kiteretsu I don't, I hold it in. I do my best dancing that way.

[ObscuredBeyond]

Me: "So, you wanna head to Carrabba's for it all?"
Her: "I might wanna pretty up first."
Me: "That'll take, what...1/8th of a second? You're already great, let's go!"

[Colonel-Blimp]

Funny comebacks from woman after a clumsy pick-up line endear me to them, I was out with friends and a guy tried to flirt with a girl I worked with... he seemed a bit smug made eye contact, walked over and said "You look so familiar, haven't we met some place before", and she said "Oh, you're probably why I stopped going there", turned around and waited for him to walk away... burn :-)

[The_Dean]

Hey girl, are you a trash bag?

I'd love to take you out.

[Dude_1820]

I've done the one like Joey a couple of times but they laugh and say it's cute but gets me no where.
I'm also a little afraid to flirt too much at work because I don't want to get accused of sexual harassment.

[crazy8000]

You didn't pass the shit tast she pulled on you to see if you really have what you appear to be (confidence, selfashour, secure).
The problem is that you give up to easily.
That line works fine even with that response.
It's how you present it and go from her responded.

[Dude_1820]

@crazy8000 fair point and honestly I'm not that confident in person flirting because I don't know how to proceed after I get in from the pick up line. One of my friends is helping me with that though

[Ropemarks]

https://youtu.be/J_Z3JJBkpeQ

[Dude_1820]

@Ropemarks huh... Interesting

[BlueWalker]

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"
"Smell my finger..."

[SunnyCaliGirl]

I once had a guy who was trying to impress me, so he picked up a book and told me this is my reading level... the book he picked was a comic book!!! lmao

[Jane_anne]

Nice one

The last one I received was when I went home from school it was very cold and I was shaking a guy was passing said " you are so hot to feel cold " ew

[Anonymous]

Then you have the one’s that make people uncomfortable or whatever :
Are you suicide? Because you’re always on my mind 🤠

[derek2017]

Lmfao!!!

[WalsallGuy90]

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you landed on my car, you absolute bitch! ;)

[Piteka5]

We have psychological ones, you must be pavlov cause you make my mouth water, you must be a neuron cause you have some action potential, you must be dopamine cause I can't get enough of you

[ChiPaPa]

Pick up lines only work if the person was already partly into you.

[Anonymous]

I think the weirdest compliment I've ever gotten is "You have a very strangle-able neck. Don't worry. It's a good thing."

[Silver158]

and you went home with that guy right there and then I bet haha.

I once heard about a guy who had to walk through a dark alley on his way home from a club say to the girl he'd picked up "when I'm murdering you could you please have some manners and not scream... it's just really rude you know?" then he smiled and she found this hilarious lol.

[Opinion Owner]

@Silver158 Haha. That's ridiculous. People confuse me sometimes.

The specific guy in question was someone who I already knew, and who had already asked me out many times, and I said no to, because he lived halfway across the country, was older than me, had dated and cheated on several of my friends (which is how we met), and had a habit of lighting himself on fire when I was video chatting with him simply because he liked to watch me freak out about it.

So I did know him, which I guess makes it less creepy in a way. I guess. Maybe. We were fairly close too. We would video chat for hours every day and talk about a lot of personal things. And he said it over video chat. So it wasn't quite as alarming as the statement would have been coming from a stranger. But I didn't hang up.

He also proceeded to ask me out many more times in the future, and then completely stopped contacting me after a few years when he finally got a girlfriend who wasn't me, and she wasn't happy when she found out about how persistently he used to try to date me. He reached out again after they broke up, and we talk occasionally now, but we've drifted. He's not a creep though. He just happens to be the person who gave me the weirdest compliment I've ever received, which just so happens to sound incredibly creepy without context.

I've been told by some friends that it was a sex thing, and knowing him, that makes sense. Knowing me, it also makes sense that I wouldn't catch on. It also explains why he thought my reaction was hilarious.

[Pejtu]

Pick up lines in 2019 come on people its not 1995 or 2000
Nobody is doing that

[Ropemarks]

I wish this were true.

[Pejtu]

@Ropemarks i never used pickup lines in my life and for some reason i had 4 girlfriends so you know

[Jenny12345]

I agree buts its funny