We all have been here. You find yourself a bar with your friends that you like to go back occasionally, and you see her. The girl who works behind the bar who suddenly makes you feel like you'd do anything to date her. But how can you do something like that when there are hundreds of other guys who try to hit on her every single night? (Especially when most of them only flirts back for tips?)
I am going to show you how I have done it, and hopefully, this will help you if you are in the situation I was in.
However: know that this takes a lot of time/work to get this done, so make sure you really have a thing for her before you try anything.
STEP 1: First contact
make sure this is done the correct way. Just be nice, polite and look her in the eyes when you say thank you. She has hundreds of guys hitting on her, sometimes in a rude or direct way, so be the opposite. just be the nice and friendly guy. Show her you are different from them. She will appreciate the change.
If you want her to remember you , tip her if you can, especially if it's late and you can tell she is getting tired. Trust me, she will remember you now and will be glad to see you come back.
STEP 2 : Small talk
After a few visits, she will start being familiar with you. If you see signs that she always recognises you and serves you first, you can then talk to her. Just simple things like "How are you?" etc. but don't insist. remember she is working and she has other customers to serve. so let her work if she is busy, but feel free to have small talk with her if she has some free time. Eventually, after a bit, you can ask her name.
STEP 3 : Try and do nice things for her
I can guarantee this will work. Just try and do nice things for her occasionally, it can be simple things from bringing your own glasses back to the bar, help her pouring your drinks, or nicely clean up after her if she makes a clumsy move... Trust me, she will love the thoughts.
Then make a test. Give her another small tip. If this time she refuses, that means she grew a soft spot for you and that she likes you and sees you more than just a customer or simple regular. you are halfway there, my friend.
STEP 4 : Gain trust from her co-workers
This one is an important one. Obviously, because she is the hot bartender who gets hit on constantly by drunk customers, her fellow male co-workers are quite protective towards her and won't hesitate to tell you to bugger off if they think you are annoying or stalking her.
If you want to get on their good side, have chats with them too. Try to become buddies. They will realise you are decent, and when they will see you talk to her, they will let their guard down as they know you and they know you have no bad intentions towards her. If they question you, reassure them saying you just like her as a person and that's that.
They will even talk to you about her if you are lucky.
STEP 5 : Come early so you can have an actual conversation and ask her out.
This is when it gets good. Come early at the bar when it is pretty much empty. If she is there, you can finally have nice conversations to get to know each other and be flirty (but let her work if she has to).
Just don't stay too long and come back once or twice. Try to flirt with her, and if she flirts back, or responds well to your compliments and asks questions about you, this time you can tell that it is for real and she is just not "doing her job" ... now you can ask her out.
Good luck.
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