If someone has a crush on you, turn off the snobbery and be humble

[Starfishlover]

The purpose of this vlog is to hopefully teach a few people to not act like snobby jerks when they learn that someone has a crush on them.

I have unfortunately been on the receiving end of snobbery from guys who I have had a crush on. It made me feel like crap and worthless, wondering what the hell I did wrong.

Then I realised something. It isn't my problem. Many guys get off thinking that they are the top dog because they never get the opportunity to feel this way.

If you are on the recieving end of someone thinking about you, you have every right to not like them back and you have every right to not give them a chance. But here are a few tips on how you can be friendlier with the person and to be humble.

1) Think about the context of the situation.

Is there a reason to be scared of the person for you to treat them this way? Is the person stalking you? Is the person just talking about you in front of their friends and you learned of this? So bloody what? Everyone does this. It isn't like you haven't told anyone about any of your crushes.

Unless the person is stalking you, you can easily get an AVO and your behaviour is warranted. If not, just accept that they like you because they saw something awesome in you.

2) Have some self awareness.

That person probably feels like crap and confused right now because they like you. This situation is already awkward for them. No need for you to worsen the istuation by being a total a**hole to them.

3) No need to say anything unless they say something to you.

Don't go in blazing all guns saying that you don't like them that way, when there was no reason for doing so. My crush learned that I liked him and I did not ask him out at all. One day, I received a message from him saying that he did not like me that way, when I said nothing at all. What the hell? He got his wish though, I got over him immediately and he turned me off. I now think he is the most ugliest thing ever.

4) Don't roll your eyes at them and don't talk down at them.

Need I say more?

5) Try and be their friend.

Crushes don't last for very long. But friends are forever. Who knows, maybe you will marry them one day when you reciprocated their love.

6) Don't act horrible to them to the point where they won't have any self esteem anymore.

The person having a crush on you will probably have no self esteem left. That in turn, their romantic prospects are at a higher risk of heartache from them. So cut the vicious circle.

I believe you should feel flattered if someone in this large world things your sh** don't stink. If you can help it, try to avoid making people dislike you.

Overall, we are all human...bound to make mistakes. Don't let their mistake be liking someone like you if you are going to be an snobby, self entitled snob. You are not that important and as I said before, you are more than welcome to reject the person. Just be a friendly, humble person. The heart and mind changes easily and you will one day like them back... only to find that they are no longer interested in you.

[lumos]

Number 5 is a stupid idea, especially if you weren't friends before you found out that they like you. If you befriend them, they might take it the wrong way. It might give them a false sense of hope that something more will happen. They might read your intentions wrong. And not only that, but their feelings might intensify just from being so close with you, even if you're supposedly "just friends". So you're better off strictly remaining acquaintances if it's a person you didn't really know that well beforehand. It'll help them move on faster.
Otherwise, good take.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Agreed.

[AleDeEurope]

I understand the fact that you get an ego boost when someone likes you, it happens to everyone, but acting like you're the best and they're less than you is being a total asshole. I've always tried to remain myself humble when girls like me, and I'll be lying if I say I've never acted like an asshole, especially around friends, but I always tried to not hurt the girl's feelings... except for one that time I really really really fucked up.

Great take ;)

[Prettykangaroos]

There is a guy that has a crush at me in uni. He endlessly asking me out, sitting too close to me, and touching my hair and back, no matter how many times I tell him I have a boyfriend. I've gotten so fed up with it, so I probably do act rude to him.

And also, when I used to have crushes on people, I know that I could be really creepy... lol! Sometimes people that have crushes don't realize that it's almost become an obsession, and it can really creep the crushee out, which might explain their "snobbish" behavior.

[R3d_Anonymous]

When I have a crush, I simply try to talk to her (perhaps flirt with her) (though I can definitely come off nervous and feel all these sensations of uneasiness), etc and ask her out once (regardless of how much interest she is showing or lack thereof because you never know and if anything else, it helps to get it off your chest so you can move on more easily), MAYBE a second time (if it's a really strong crush that my head for some reason revives again) after a few months and if she says "no" then, I leave her alone.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

This is something I've never understood. I'm not that attractive, and men seem to act like it's so offensive for someone like me to be interested. I've never stalked or done anything to make them feel uncomfortable. Five years ago when this guy found out I like him, he flipped out. He went around telling everyone that he felt disgusted and he couldn't stop shivering. He then tried to rub it in my face that he found another girl who was better looking than me. He would talk about his sex life with her and everything. It was awful. She seemed to enjoy putting on a show too.

It's fine if you don't like someone, but why make them feel like crap about it?

[Jaysunf]

You should have told him fuck you asshole, it may have helped you feel better. Yep she definitely enjoyed watching you suffer in envy of her boyfriend and not yours, he was insulted that much. You should not let yourself feel like crap.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

I just stopped talking to him completely for the longest time. We didn't talk to each other again for about a year and then when we did, he got all uncomfortable as if he thought that I'd still be interested. I lost interest in him the moment he turned into an asshole about it. Even now when I am interested in someone else (which he knows about) he still will make sure I know he's not interested. I've even told him I don't want much to do with him, but he doesn't seem to get that hint. We work together, so that's why we still see each other sometimes. I just ignore him at work though.

[xkellier94x]

Over the years I had numerous crushes on guys around my area and they acted like total assholes when they found out I liked them. I never directly told any of them either so there was no need to be dicks to me about who I have no control over liking. I was publicly humiliated at 14 and it put me off ever telling someone I like them. I am terrified, even intimidated by guys and I am the eldest of six kids, 4 of which are boys.

[Anonymous]

#2 .
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There was a guy (specifically one of my close friends) had a crush on me and I think he really did fall hard for me. During the time he liked me, people weren't treating me that well because I was a 'vulnerable target' in my class, and he would defend me and still stayed with me even if it meant isolating himself from other people.
-
Maybe a few months later his confusion kicked in and he started acting really annoying like bugging me every few seconds, throwing stuff in front of me when I'm doing something, and all those childish tricks; I got really pissed and I told him everything that I didn't like about him, and this happened about 2 or 3 times. I guess I knew he wouldn't say anything back because I knew he liked me.

[Kittykatt220214]

People are assholes and it's completely unnecessary. If there is any slight emotion to one another people wig out. We are all emotional beings., some more than others but we're all emotional none the less. So many people fear their feelings and it makes them act out of character. I feel for our existence, kindness is always key and people don't get that. Even when people are rude to you, be kind, that's a reflection of them not an issue of you.

[Tormentarian]

Amen just how I thought about these things, you are the first person I heard speak about kindness in such a manner the reason behind it helps our existence. Kudos to you

[misupanda]

This was the story of my life growing up. I always approached guys, and every single time, they were so cruel to me, completely ignoring me, calling me fat or ugly, making me feel worthless. So I grew up having really low self esteem and social anxiety issues, blaming myself. Then I realized they were just jerks not worth my time. : If someone has a crush on me and I don't feel the same, I feel flattered, and I still be their friend regardless. I don't see what the big deal is really.

[SakuraChii]

Glad I'm not the only one, im tired of guys thinking that we don't go through the same as they do with approaching.

[Jaysunf]

Im sorry, these guys liked to make themselves feel better by being your trophy, and the power trip they felt when having your eyes. Their stupid, they could have gotten the you know what.

[ranma187]

Wow, you are hella cute, Any guy would have to be insane or a retard to turn you down!

[genericname85]

a few comments:
1. how is this a "v-log" (video log)? :P
2. i did not know that such assholes exist... what you said should realy be normal in my opinion :(
3. i try to "reject" them in the kindest way possible. but in my experience, a crush doesn´t necessarily stop then... i actually still have a crush on some girl, who rejected me years ago and i can´t be friends with her because of it.

[YourFutureEx]

Good take :) people should realise that at least they can be friends, just because they are not deserving you, it doesn't mean that you go and ruin their ambitions/emotions.

"Crushes don't last for very long. But friends are forever." <- I don't agree on that.

[Scrambled]

I love this take. I think its hard sometimes to tell your crush off without coming off cold, but I have hardly been in that situation and most of the times my "friendshipzones" have been literally friendship relationships and I have many friends to this day. But when you downright make a person feel small (like rollin the eyes or outright mocking) that's terrible and hurts a lot. Hate that and been there a couple of times.

[R3d_Anonymous]

I agree with @lumos. Number five is a bad idea and you can hurt them more that way. I know sure as hell, my feelings for my crush are already were quite strong and still linger, and I barely knew her. If she was to instead try to actually befriend me yet reject me dating-wise, I would feel a lot more hurt.

[rjroy3]

I know girls who have "best friends" for a semester then they are no longer even good friends there after. If a friendship lasts 7+ years then it will probably be forever.

Anyways, that aside. Why not just enjoy the feeling of having an attractive person being attracted to you? Or enjoy the feeling of being lusted after? There really isn't need for action past that. The rest is just superfluous and dependant on who the individual is

[FatherJack]

I cannot beleive you were treated like this , it is VERY rare for a man to treat a woman in this way , sadly women are often bitches to guys that express interest in them ( I've never let this happen to me !! ) This guy needs his fucking head testing as you come across as one of the few decent 20 something girls in the Western world.

[I_M_LEGEND]

this was always been my struggle in my teens and adolescence... girls would like me and inside it all feeds my ego and gives me pride...

then i experienced scarcity and problem has been fixed for most part.

because of this reason, i can't stand snobby i m better than you type of chicks. i dislike them very much and it makes me puff my chest and raise my chin.

[I_M_LEGEND]

has**

[LittleSally]

Each one of these is true - except for number 5!
If you try to be their friend - they'll most likely just think you like them too...
Do not do this!
Ever!

Unless you're certain they're over you.

[Not-present]

I once had a Guy crush on me and I just simply Told him that I didn't reciprocate his feelings. I even hugged him afterwards and we remained friends. It's seriously not that hard to be Nice, I really don't get Those people and thankgod I've never had to deal with them. Good take!

[2tall2handle]

People do act snobby when they find out you have a crush or they find out that you like them. It is like they are on an ego trip and if they are not interested or have thing in their "personal" lives that they are dealing with they totally shoot you down. It makes no sense, but I guess that is just the way that it is and always will be.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Furthermore, in response to your Take, I believe that if someone becomes all egotistical (though it's normal to feel some sort of confidence-boost) and cruel to the person interested in them after finding out, then they are not worth being with anyway, because clearly they don't have much of a heart.

[ladymcbeth]

Love it! I always try to be nice even if I feel I can't give them a chance for some reason.

[Jaysunf]

Uh huh, I expect you to hand over your girlfriends if you feel you won't give a chance so you can bask in what you lost.

[pionneer]

This is a real nice take and I totally agree with it. I never thought much about it before. Great that its out there.

[Jaysunf]

Call me nasty but, I don't crush her self esteem if she admits to having a crush on me, I fulfill her fantasies.

[Starfishlover]

I wish some guys were like you :)

[Jaysunf]

I could condition them for you.

[Phoenix98]

Lol I don't think anyone has had a crush in me in around 4 years lol. But I am by nature a humble person so I would act the same regardless.