PUA Pickup Artists... Are You One?

FabFabuloso

So a friend recommended a weird seminar to go to this past weekend - he really wanted to go, but not alone, so he wouldn't feel like a 'loser'. It was a talk for men on something called the PUA movement: Pick Artists.

Pickup Artists...Are You One?

I thought, OK, sounds kinda weird but I bet there should be some interesting if not 'laugh out loud' moments at this thing, and since my friend was paying, why not go and check it out? I had heard about these guys who are total mysogynists who look at women like meat and just try to raise their notch counts on their bed posts to justify their masculinity. You see, I'm a more traditional romantic who likes to treat a woman like a lady, and so I knew this was going to be a challenge to take seriously. After I went, I realized maybe I had misjudged these men a little. This newer generation of PUAs are not as concerned with banging hot chicks but more concerned with making connections with someone they actually liked. Here are some of the gems I learned from the PUA seminar that normal guys can use, so take note!

1. Don't walk around with headphones on. You can’t interact with people when you’re blaring music. To be open to meeting women in public, you need to be ready to have an actual conversation with them.

2. After you speak to a girl on the street, plant your feet and don’t move. A little dramatic but it works. It makes you appear non-threatening and confident. Ladies, how many times have you been creeped out by some guy following you around and trying to get your number?

PUA Pickup Artists... Are You One?

3. Use a more original line than “What are you doing today?” but still sound natural. If you have nothing else up your sleeve this is an OK line, but something funny or a comment about what’s going around you would be much more engaging. Don’t make the mistake of using a canned pickup line. Women hate those.

4. Ask who she is and what she does for fun. Everyone likes talking about themselves and this allows guys to come up with an innovative date she’ll love. That is, if she says yes.

PUA Pickup Artists... Are You One?

5. Don’t be a braggart. “I went to Harvard. I work for Goldman. I live in a sick penthouse in SoHo. I’m also an astronaut.” Yes! A douche is a man who is not paying attention to the woman he’s talking to — only how to impress her. Very important in a class about picking up women.

6. Don’t self-deprecate. Starting with something negative like, “I do accounting. It’s really boring,” won’t get you where you want to go. How do you expect someone to follow up when you tell them how much your life sucks? It’s awkward.

PUA Pickup Artists... Are You One?

7. Don’t go to dinner on your first date because the table sets up a physical barrier. This was one of the best tips. Dinner is great after you get to know someone a little better. A major physical barrier between you and your date can prevent the natural chemistry from flowing.

8. Be touchy throughout the date. Consider this a test of her physical interest. There’s nothing more awkward than that end-of-the-night moment when you’re both wondering if you should kiss. If you’ve been flirting and touching all night then it alleviates the tension. But obviously, this touchiness should be well-received and reciprocated — if it’s not, stop.

PUA Pickup Artists... Are You One?

These are just some simple things I noted that would work for any guy - and I cut out all the aggreassive and mind-game crap. But I’m sure there are still lots of guys who will embrace their inner a**hole when applying these techniques, but my guess is they already had latent those tendencies anyways. Regardless, I learned that it is in fact possible to be a nice normal guy and a PUA, and keep your dignity and self-respect.

PUA Pickup Artists... Are You One?
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Most Helpful Guy

  • JohnBhoy94
    I'm going to be honest, when I read the title I thought "PUA, oh god not this crap again", but I'm actually quite interested and satisfied by the actual take.

    PUA has always been this aggressive thing for me: going to clubs, picking up chicks by being a bit over-the-top and elaborate... but this is just damn right simple and realistic.

    Google PUA attraction forums for example, all you'll find there is desperate men amongst those who think they know everything from a girl's toe nail to the strands of her hair. They're also extremely rude, degrading and quite sexist too. I must admit that I did frequent those websites when I was questioning why I was so rubbish with women back in the day, but it was useless and eventually I learnt by myself.

    Dating is meant to be fun, not a challenge, if you meet someone you're attracted to and who is attracted to you, then things should really just fall into place - unless there's a massive cock-up. If the attraction isn't mutual, you can just move on.

    Anyway, good take. +1
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • ManaX
    Funnily enough, I studied the pua movement in order to avoid men who use it to pull women. The psychology behind it is interesting though.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Some if the methods taught, not with this one, but others I've learned about are creepy and disingenuine.

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What Girls & Guys Said

1017
  • OpenClose
    Good take. But I would argue there's a difference between flirting coaching and the PUA movement.

    Let me quote a PUA I was arguing with the other day:

    "Males who are below the Alphas, are called Betas. They dont have access to the most fit for reproduction females, but they still get to impregnate pretty good quality females. The Betas depend on the Alphas to function, they can't stand on their own. Only the Alphas can stand on their own, and they organize the hierarchy, through their subordinates, the Betas.
    Below the Betas there are the Gammas, and Deltas. Deltas are the average males, who are servants, but still manage to reproduce, with mediocre females, just like them.
    Below the Deltas are lower and lower ranking males, who are so dysfunctional, they can't raise children. They impregnate unhealthy females, their offspring is plagued with genetic handicaps, they can barely build and maintain a functional family, and those kids who do manage to reach adulthood, are so fucked up they fail to reproduce.

    At the bottom of the hierarchy are the Omegas. Males who can't even get to impregnate a woman. They utterly fail to reproduce, thoroughly enslaved, turned into human cattle. They are mentally castrated, and are perfect workers. The asexual working drone. They have to buy sex from women, they are so crushed."

    The PUA movement and its "Alpha Male" narrative was the entire theme of Elliot Rodger's manifesto. To me, the PUA seems to revolve around the idea that men must conform to whatever women desire.

    I'm fine with coaching and tips and such, but the idea of "Game" and notching bedposts by "being the asshole she wants to date" that PUA's discuss are really destrictive. A lot of guys I know who claim to be such "studs", I found out, sexually harass slews of women until they find girls who are interested, leaving behind them a wake of women who feel invaded and take it out on the rest of us.
  • SomeOtherGuy
    I'm surprised, this is actually good advice. I expected PUA stuff to be trash.

    This is more general dating advice than the typical PUA garbage you see. It would be beneficial for anyone to read.

    My additions I'd add are this though:

    4. Don't do this. Asking a girl what she does for fun is so generic and transparent. A bad idea.
    Instead ask her about something you think is fun. If you're both attending an event, ask her if she knows any more events like this. Ask her if she knows about a similar event. Get specific, don't use general small talk. Exercise creativity here but keep it relevant.

    7. Don't START your date with dinner. Pick an activity that doesn't involve a barrier between you two or keep you from opening your mouth.
    However, a good rule for a party is feed your guests and they'll stay longer. If you want to prolong the date, suggest getting food AFTER the activity. If the date isn't going well, tell her you're hungry and you got some food waiting for you at home.

    Otherwise the rest of it is pretty legit.
  • springocelot
    A lot of relationship blogs for women offer the same kind of advice, except from a female perspective. I guess with all the technology today, it's like we've forgotten the art of dating. #1 is case in point. It's a great piece of advice.

    Interestingly enough, I used to read a lot of PUA blogs and forums because I was curious as to what the hell goes through a guys mind when he approaches girls :p. It was very interesting and kinda useful for avoiding creepers, lol.
  • Poppykate
    The one thing I hear from single people ALL the time is ' I can't meet anyone', particularly from the younger generation. Of course you can't meet any one. Whenever, people go out, their heads are down in their iPad/ iPods/ iPhones. Your perfect match could be walking right pass you and you would never know! At least you would have a better chance if you look up and looked around.
  • CreepyOldMan
    A PUA, eh..

    I'd be too bored to ever be a PUA. It's like a grocery list of stuff I have to remember to do. I can't remember all that crap.

    Who in the hell would call themselves a PUA?

    I calk the whole thing a scam.

    I think anyone who would go to a seminar and buy a self-help book on how to be a PUA is frickin dork.

    How many generations of humans have lived and survived without ever feeling the need to learn how to be a PUA?

    A PUA is just another word for a fapcheese.
  • peachblossomluck
    I know my post is probably going to annoy people but women already know within the first few minutes of encountering a man if she wants to sleep with him or not. It's biological. There is nothing wrong with learning how to communicate with the opposite gender but we women have drives and desires society tells us not to act upon. If I don't want some guy, I remain confident in my decision. I listen to my inner voice.
    • Scrambled

      Pick up artists greatest, greatest trick and weapon is to create that connection in the first few minutes. That's bottom line, the rest is easier. In fact a common pick up artist book is about two thirds about how to just behave and be in yourself before you even approach women.

    • Acting a certain way is mosdef importantšŸ‘ Can't argue with that lol. If you are pheromonially repellant, the deck is stacked against you.

    • That's why women prefer this approach and not this PUA garbage

      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a8704-the-fullproof-way-to-get-a-woman-s-number

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  • MonaAmour
    Yes, it's amazing how much thought goes into it - maybe if it was redirected to just being honest and real - these guys would 'pull' a lot more desirable mates.
    • AdamThomas

      Since men are expected to initiate things mostly, and women mostly prefer men to make the first move, of course we think a lot about it. Women being more passive in dating means that you have no clue, and that you think it's as simple to just be honest and real (as if you can't be honest and real and still follow this advice) says it all. For example my girlfriend told me about how, before meeting me, she ended up sleeping with one of her guy friends, but she didn't mean to do it. She said "it just happened". She also thought that when we had sex on the second date it "just happened". She was shocked when I told her that her friend had it planned the whole time, as did I. And plenty of other girls have said the same thing. Men make things happen, and because women don't really have to plan anything they think it just happens out of nowhere.

    • MonaAmour

      @AdamThomas great insight, never thought of it like that but it's rings true - the prey does not consider how much time and patience the predator puts into the hunt and only proof is the moment of action. I think a lot of women do plan - it's usually a more nebulous kind of plan that involves figuring out how to make a guy take action and wedding bells. Thanks for your comment!

  • Accipiter
    I've always wanted to go to a PUA seminar, but my city never hosts them. It sounds to me like there's a lot of life coaching skills you can learn from those lectures that have valuable information more than how to pick up chicks. I think the negative stereotype about PUAs being douche bags, meat heads, and players comes from a lot of the bad ones who post how-to videos on YouTube and act like the sun shines out their asses.
  • Werewolfy
    I personally don't see much difference between a PUA artist and a manwhore. Except maybe the fact that he's cheaper and probably worse in bed.
  • muspelhem_5
    Really like your take. Found it level-headed, fresh and humanist. Great work. Also, the stock photos were much better than usual :)
  • spuitkaas
    These tips are great actually. If a guy really wants a girl be interested in him, he should read this.
    • kep79

      I want you to be interested in me, so I'll read it :)

    • spuitkaas

      @kep79 You're like twice my age

    • kep79

      But I want to stay young :)

  • James0
    Having attend a session with a friend, I felt like I learned how to be more of myself and it gave a direction
  • CasaNorba
    Bro no disrespect to your article or anything but I think PUAs are full of shit. I been looking into Hypnotic, Steve Piccus and a bunch of other famous PUAs a year or two ago and I though it was unbelievable how these losers make it sound like women are the only thing to live for in this world.

    Like seriously what is being successful with women in this world really equilibrate to? Does being successful with women...

    Make your life any easier?
    make you rich?
    make you famous?
    Make you immortal?
    • Dingsbums

      You are right. It's nothing compared with immortality but who wants to live forever?

    • CasaNorba

      Well you could still get killed by certain things if you are immortal. But some people do wish that they can be young forever

    • Dingsbums

      Yes...

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  • Creole_Flavor
    OMG #7 dinner dates make me so nervous so I agree I also feel like it's an interview.
  • idkwtftoputhere
    Thank you for this my take. I now know how to pick up hot women with my new and improved PUA moves.
  • JackKerouac77
    Hahahahahah, nah

    Isn't pick up stuff just psychological manipulation?
  • ranma187
    Actually if you use self depricating humour it can be VERY attractive.
    • Yeah? I love that sorta Jew humor. It's fun because "we've all been there". But I think girls don't think that way. They're so stuck up that they can't appreciate a good laugh at themselves and so then therefore take that humor too literally. Hit me up, I'd like to hear more about an effective way to use self-deprecating humor.

  • Luvme66
    Well where are the negs , fake time constraints, kino escalation... Do actually know what pua does!
  • thealphamaleishere
    To be completely honest most of this is shit. I would not consider this a 'gem' at all...

    I saw this over and over when I had my clients. People getting really bad information on how to pick up women from people who have no idea how to pick up women...

    If you are a guy and really want to know the best approach here it is:

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a8704-the-fullproof-way-to-get-a-woman-s-number
  • TheDisneylandSlasher
    Im a failed pua so its back to therapy for me! Im lovin life!!!
  • tenofthepeaks
    bollocks that teaches men to be sociopaths..

    most have seen through it, maybe you need to too..
  • front2back
    PAU's are fuckboys.
  • PiuBelloAmante
    Oh i like this!
    will keep these in mind
  • SnowHearth
    Some of my ex-classmates do that.
  • Anonymous
    Most PUA's are full of shit. SimplePickup is legit though. You got a skinny INDIAN guy and a CHINESE dude getting mad girls through natural methods.
    • Haha I think simple pickup guys are scrubs and I don't think they even take it beyond getting the girls number

    • Anonymous

      r u kidding me... they're making out with random chicks in the bar I'm pretty sure they can escalate further than that if they wanted to

  • Anonymous
    What is PUA? I've been eating this lately... Is this a society?
  • Anonymous
    Okay really post PUA shit is dumb and borderline creepy. Most of the stuff you mentioned was okay but they some PUAs say to never take no for an answer and teach men to harass women. I saw a video of one guy who approached girls on three street and even after they politely tried to walk away he jumped in front of them and grabbed they're shoulders. The fuck? And he was a pick up artist.

    If a girl isn't attracted to you there's nothing you can do to create attraction out of nowhere. if she is attracted to you of course it helps your chances to know how to interact though.
    • Anonymous

      *most not post

    • Anonymous

      *their

    • Amen!

    • Show All
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