So a friend recommended a weird seminar to go to this past weekend - he really wanted to go, but not alone, so he wouldn't feel like a 'loser'. It was a talk for men on something called the PUA movement: Pick Artists.
I thought, OK, sounds kinda weird but I bet there should be some interesting if not 'laugh out loud' moments at this thing, and since my friend was paying, why not go and check it out? I had heard about these guys who are total mysogynists who look at women like meat and just try to raise their notch counts on their bed posts to justify their masculinity. You see, I'm a more traditional romantic who likes to treat a woman like a lady, and so I knew this was going to be a challenge to take seriously. After I went, I realized maybe I had misjudged these men a little. This newer generation of PUAs are not as concerned with banging hot chicks but more concerned with making connections with someone they actually liked. Here are some of the gems I learned from the PUA seminar that normal guys can use, so take note!
1. Don't walk around with headphones on. You can’t interact with people when you’re blaring music. To be open to meeting women in public, you need to be ready to have an actual conversation with them.
2. After you speak to a girl on the street, plant your feet and don’t move. A little dramatic but it works. It makes you appear non-threatening and confident. Ladies, how many times have you been creeped out by some guy following you around and trying to get your number?
3. Use a more original line than “What are you doing today?” but still sound natural. If you have nothing else up your sleeve this is an OK line, but something funny or a comment about what’s going around you would be much more engaging. Don’t make the mistake of using a canned pickup line. Women hate those.
4. Ask who she is and what she does for fun. Everyone likes talking about themselves and this allows guys to come up with an innovative date she’ll love. That is, if she says yes.
5. Don’t be a braggart. “I went to Harvard. I work for Goldman. I live in a sick penthouse in SoHo. I’m also an astronaut.” Yes! A douche is a man who is not paying attention to the woman he’s talking to — only how to impress her. Very important in a class about picking up women.
6. Don’t self-deprecate. Starting with something negative like, “I do accounting. It’s really boring,” won’t get you where you want to go. How do you expect someone to follow up when you tell them how much your life sucks? It’s awkward.
7. Don’t go to dinner on your first date because the table sets up a physical barrier. This was one of the best tips. Dinner is great after you get to know someone a little better. A major physical barrier between you and your date can prevent the natural chemistry from flowing.
8. Be touchy throughout the date. Consider this a test of her physical interest. There’s nothing more awkward than that end-of-the-night moment when you’re both wondering if you should kiss. If you’ve been flirting and touching all night then it alleviates the tension. But obviously, this touchiness should be well-received and reciprocated — if it’s not, stop.
These are just some simple things I noted that would work for any guy - and I cut out all the aggreassive and mind-game crap. But I’m sure there are still lots of guys who will embrace their inner a**hole when applying these techniques, but my guess is they already had latent those tendencies anyways. Regardless, I learned that it is in fact possible to be a nice normal guy and a PUA, and keep your dignity and self-respect.