same for women but the some use the excuse the guy wot like her approaching bc she's a girl which is ridiculous bc obviously not all guys, and why would you want that kind of guy that only likes you if you're a puppet.
This is helpful. It's good to understand a guy's mind. Anyways, I already know that I will never be approached.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
DUDE, SOMETIMES it's about the looks. Why would a guy approach a women he didn't find attractive? Unless she is dressed slutty... And the real reason is if she has a bitch vibe and he's shy than that's why
So what do you want to change? My thinking process is about the same as your quotes when I see a guy I like. And for girls it is still less cool to approach a guy. So know one approaches anyone?
I probably could've taken more time in the end to propose solutions. But I think skills to approach and open up to people should be taught in middle or high school.
For instance, people often bash the 'pick up' community without really realizing what it is from a more objective point of view. It's really the only resource for guys to actually learn how to attract a woman. And it's a shame we bash guys for actually trying to find self-help for this sort of thing.
It's so difficult... coz it's either a make or break!! So if it works out awesome!! If it doesn't u feeli like shit and so ashamed that u can't even look @ urself... so yea that's y women rarely get approached!!
Yes guys in real life are thinking about the above. I am thinking constantly about those things mentioned above when I see an attractive woman that I like.
I agree that some perhaps more anxious people would think this and the mytake itself was a good read, thank you for posting. I think something people should consider is that there is nothing wrong with the female asking the male, either.
Pay attention, All. The guys above who use those reasons usually expect to be approached. Why are you bringing women into it? No one should expect to be approached.
No, I don't expect to be approached at all. You're presuming an awful lot in all of your comments. Your final sentence backs up the fact that i'm saying both genders should approach each other.
NO ONE was talking to you in my second comment, Anonymous. I clearly said ALL which was an abbreviation of the AllThatSweetJazz's name.
All: I'm sure SOME guy thinks that. The point is... no one should expect to be approached. That means that you either approach the person, get someone to do it for you, or find a way to make that person approach if they want to.
I'm not going to ever approach a guy again. I'd rather go lesbian. I could easily send one of my friends to scope out the scene or try and get the guy to approach himself. But whatevs.
If you'd like to talk without anyone else being able to comment, feel free to use the message system available. I can choose to comment on a response to my post if I feel like it.
I've been improving myself on it actually. 6 months ago I would never have been seen at bars. But now I feel more and more natural each time I do go out. Hell I went out to sell cars for a couple months for the sake of getting over this anxiety. I still have it, but it's MUCH better than it was a while ago.
It's just those who don't catch themselves thinking these thoughts who need the most help. It becomes a habit, and if you don't recognize the habit then it stunts your growth harshly.
Emotion is hard to convey online. I truly mean that in a helpful tone. My brother got on Zoloft, one of those SSRIs, and it's really helped him out with social anxiety.
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Replace is 'she trying to cheat on someone' with 'is she making fun of me or tricking me' and it's a yes to all those quotes.
same for women but the some use the excuse the guy wot like her approaching bc she's a girl which is ridiculous bc obviously not all guys, and why would you want that kind of guy that only likes you if you're a puppet.
I soo think about some of these things ha especially the i'll just wait a minute, two minutes, 5 miuntes haha. Thanks for the insight!
This is helpful. It's good to understand a guy's mind.
Anyways, I already know that I will never be approached.
DUDE, SOMETIMES it's about the looks. Why would a guy approach a women he didn't find attractive? Unless she is dressed slutty...
And the real reason is if she has a bitch vibe and he's shy than that's why
on the other end, some guys like myself have trouble approaching very attractive women. it can be intimidating
Yeah that too. So this take it semi stupid
Women approach guys they find attractive too.
Sometimes? Lets try all the time.
"She has a boyfriend. She's too beautiful not to have one." This is so big >.>
So what do you want to change? My thinking process is about the same as your quotes when I see a guy I like. And for girls it is still less cool to approach a guy. So know one approaches anyone?
I probably could've taken more time in the end to propose solutions. But I think skills to approach and open up to people should be taught in middle or high school.
For instance, people often bash the 'pick up' community without really realizing what it is from a more objective point of view. It's really the only resource for guys to actually learn how to attract a woman. And it's a shame we bash guys for actually trying to find self-help for this sort of thing.
I think it is good to have help. Like GaG, it helps a lot with understanding each other.
It's so difficult... coz it's either a make or break!! So if it works out awesome!! If it doesn't u feeli like shit and so ashamed that u can't even look @ urself... so yea that's y women rarely get approached!!
Years ago I found the best reason: "My girlfriend/wife wouldn't like it if I approached another girl."
That beats all other excuses.
That's a good boy. :-P
@Words_and_Wisdom
But I must see that I too made a lot of the mental quotes mentioned in your take. :)
"She has a boyfriend. She's too beautiful not to have one."
Most common thought of us. That's why it's at the top!
Are guys in real life really thinking about the above?
I tend to do it quite a lot, which is why I made the take. Seems like a lot of guys that commented here do too.
I always wonder whether it is because of my resting bitch face that stop them from approaching me :D
That could be part of it too.. >.>
:DDD
I myself would assume you think I'm too young. Didn't realize how discriminated younger guys are from older women :P
what makes u think i assume u in that way
i only asking a simple qn, not even have any negative intention duhz
Hehe... I just wanted to provide an example, since many older women I've met told me I was too young xP
Yes guys in real life are thinking about the above. I am thinking constantly about those things mentioned above when I see an attractive woman that I like.
Always. Even when we say we don't, we actually do.
I agree that some perhaps more anxious people would think this and the mytake itself was a good read, thank you for posting.
I think something people should consider is that there is nothing wrong with the female asking the male, either.
No one said there was anything wrong with a female approaching. The issue is that guys who EXPECT to be approached because of the above.
Actually a lot of people presume the male has to approach. I agree with you though.
@RationalLioness
I don't think very many guys EXPECT to be approached.
But girls expect to be approach for those reasons, no?
Pay attention, All. The guys above who use those reasons usually expect to be approached. Why are you bringing women into it? No one should expect to be approached.
No, I don't expect to be approached at all. You're presuming an awful lot in all of your comments.
Your final sentence backs up the fact that i'm saying both genders should approach each other.
@RationalLioness Whenever this subject comes up I always see girls interpreting it as "guys shouldn't, girls should." News flash, no guy thinks that.
NO ONE was talking to you in my second comment, Anonymous. I clearly said ALL which was an abbreviation of the AllThatSweetJazz's name.
All: I'm sure SOME guy thinks that. The point is... no one should expect to be approached. That means that you either approach the person, get someone to do it for you, or find a way to make that person approach if they want to.
I'm not going to ever approach a guy again. I'd rather go lesbian. I could easily send one of my friends to scope out the scene or try and get the guy to approach himself. But whatevs.
If you'd like to talk without anyone else being able to comment, feel free to use the message system available. I can choose to comment on a response to my post if I feel like it.
My thoughts exactly I have said many of those things to myself.
If all that worry is running through your mind is safe to say that is a solid case of social anxiety, go talk to a psychiatrist and get on something
I've been improving myself on it actually. 6 months ago I would never have been seen at bars. But now I feel more and more natural each time I do go out. Hell I went out to sell cars for a couple months for the sake of getting over this anxiety. I still have it, but it's MUCH better than it was a while ago.
It's just those who don't catch themselves thinking these thoughts who need the most help. It becomes a habit, and if you don't recognize the habit then it stunts your growth harshly.
If none of that is running through your mind it's safe to say that you are a psychopath. Go talk to a psychiatrist.
Emotion is hard to convey online. I truly mean that in a helpful tone. My brother got on Zoloft, one of those SSRIs, and it's really helped him out with social anxiety.
Zoloft made me try to kill my self.
Whaaaaat. Fuck this. I'm out of here lol
Oh my god that sounds terrible, sorry for you guys you can't blame US for not knowing that
It makes no sense but we do anyways.
Thats too bad
Most women even if they're average looking will be asked out constantly.
Bullshit.
Why?
Yeah... Most. But the rest of us won't.
I honestly could give zero fucks. If i like a guy I will let him know. I don't play games.
That's what is on my mind always when I encounter females or women
Add this to the fact that I don't "get flirting", it's challenging for sure.
Well that is that guy's loss. That means that there are more women available for guys like me that don't obsess over those things! :-P