My girlfriend of a month can't even keep a conversation up with me?!

[ouple]

Why is this. She's real quite and all. I'm always the one carrying the conversations, and it sucks (especially when its her who starts the conversation). I tried telling her once, and she got mad and me and we didn't talk or see each other for a day.

Why can't she keep a conversation with me?

[hisangel]

Some people are more closed off naturally. Or have had their feelings or emotions invalidated by someone enough where they go 'OK, I'm keeping them all to myself." They guard their feelings and emotions until they know that they can, not only trust the person, but know the person is going to respond the way they want them to respond. By that I mean, if she says something and someone responds with giving her a list of reasons why it's wrong or tells her that it isn't a big deal, she may shut off to that person cause she may want to hear something like 'I'm so sorry that happened to you.' or 'I could understand why that upset you."

The reason she probably starts the conversation might be twofold. 1) She wants to get to know you. She wants to hear what you have to say 2) People who don't share their feelings are really good about asking others what their feelings are because it draws the attention off them. Most people like to talk about themselves or their opinions, so she can just ask a bunch of questions and it's like a magic trick where most people don't notice she is never talking. Problem here is you want to get to know her more and more and so you are noticing.

I say your best bet is when you want to hear her opinion ask her what she thinks. If she says "nothing" tell her you know that isn't true and you want to hear it BUT only if she is wants to share.

People who aren't talkers tend to like passive listeners. What that means is that when she finally does share her opinion or a feeling, she doesn't want you to argue why you think it's wrong. She doesn't want someone to bring it back to themselves and make her opinion feel stupid. She might just want to hear something like "I totally agree with that. Why in the world would people do that anyway?" And that's it. It makes her feel safe to share. That doesn't mean she never wants your opinion. It just means that when her's is out in the open, handle it carefully.

To some people, their opinions and emotions are very precious to them. Like a dream or a secret might be to you. It takes time to trust someone with them. If you give her time, she will probably open up more and more.

[PennyLane09]

personally, I don't know. Maybe she's really shy/nervous...or she's not the most adept at making conversation. I can tell you it goes both ways because my boyfriend is very much like that a lot of the time...so much so that I had to have a talk w/him to figure out what his feelings were.

[ouple]

Since you've been in this situation before, what do you adivse?

[Jonny_]

Maybe you get off track, or focus on the one thing too much? The best things to do are to always ask a question, so she has to talk for at least abit of it. Keep changing subjects after a while of talking about one thing and try and mention things she is passioniate about, music or films or whatever... it just engages her abit more, girls tend to like guys who can listen as well.

[ouple]

I do that, she gives no input in her answers though

[Jonny_]

Ask her questions about her, sharing feelings is one of the best ways to connects and to get someone to open up to you. All you have to do is mention a time where you have been upset or confused about something and ask her if she knows what you mean... has she had anything similar happen? from there its easier for her to talk to you about anything. I always find the best way to keep someone in a conversation is by talking about their feelings.