How to Start a Convo With a Stranger

[tts1980]

Hi guys and girls,

I just like to know what people think in general if some stranger tries to start a conversation with you at "normal" places like on a public transport or bus stop or station, etc.

Girls, if a random guy starts talking to you, does you automatically think that he is trying to hit on you? Or if you are the one trying to start a conversation with a random guy, are you just been friendly or trying to hit on him?

Guys and girls, if some random member of the opposite sex try to initial a conversation, do you normally end off with getting some form of contact or at least ask for name out of politeness?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the response so far, I guess I am more after situation outside of classroom or workplace. More like places where you know you will probably never run into the person again kind (i.e on the street, coffee shop, etc).

Updates

+1 y

Seems like the first thing that comes to people mind is creepy. I personally find it creepy as well (some random girl tried to initial conversation with me) but I was wondering if I should have at least ask them for name if not contact.

[cun7n1nja]

I don't think anything of it, because I meet a lot of people this way at the coffee shop I frequent, and sometimes bus stops as well. I'm pretty quiet usually, but I'm friendly and polite to anyone who approaches me. I can hold a conversation with most people, and talking to strangers isn't an issue for me. I HAVE been approached plenty of creeps and drunks, in which case I'm usually politely distant within the conversation until I can find an opportunity to remove myself from the situation. Strangers in general though aren't a problem.

I never -assume- anyone is hitting on me unless they're being extremely blatant about it. I also don't take hints very well, because I'm not the kind of girl that a lot of guys are into or even really flirt with. So I might not even pick up on it if someone was using a subtler approach. I would just think they were being friendly. Usually if I start a conversation with a random guy, I have a reason for it, like I see that he's reading a book I like, or wearing something related to a band I like. I'm generally just being friendly. That doesn't mean I'm not interested, because I very well might be. I just rarely flirt or hit on anyone with much boldness, for the same reasons I mentioned before. Which I realize sounds silly, because I close myself off to the idea that someone might be interested, which causes me not to pick up on hints, yet I resort to similar methods and I'm not generally confident enough to use a bolder approach, myself. =P

I don't think I would ask for contact information or give out mine unless I've spoken to someone several times. And sometimes that does happen, because I'm a regular at this coffee shop downtown where I live. If I were only passing through, I doubt I would meet so many people there. There are other regulars and I know most of them by their first names and maybe some things about them that I've observed or that they've mentioned to me. But a lot of random people drift through, especially on weekends. Some of them end up sticking around, and I get to know them better. I do introduce myself and get people's names, because I feel like it would be rude not to. I also like knowing people's names because I don't want to feel like an as.shole if I see them again and can't recall their name, haha. As for someone else starting a conversation with me, it usually ends the same way. If they don't introduce themselves on their own, I will introduce myself so that they at least have my name, but I generally won't give out contact information on a first meeting.

[tts1980]

Thanks for the insight.

[cun7n1nja]

You're welcome, and thanks for the best answer. =]

[jeeperss]

7/10 times, depending on the context, I would think he's hitting on me. if it's in class, I wouldn't really for example. if we're just standing outside waiting for the train or something, I probably would. mostly, because that's where it has happened the most.. and uuh the last time it happened on the bus, it turned into a very creepy experience, so I personally am just really put off by guys who randomly talk to girls on buses...

if I start a conversation with a random guy, it depends on what it's about. if it's in class again, 99% chance I'm being friendly.

really, the less there is to talk about/start a conversation about, the greater the chance the person is hitting on the other person because they're obviously trying to make an effort to start the conversation.

understandably it's not always easy to tell, and sometimes, especially girls I think, seem to think the guy is hitting on them when he really isn't. and when they're just strangers, superficiality kicks in. if he's not as attractive, he's definitely hitting on her (that's the mindset anyways), and the response is not very positive. if he's pretty attractive, there's more doubt if he is or not (self-esteem issues perhaps), and the response is more positive.

and generally, when I meet strangers, I've learned from past, creepy experiences on buses, I do not give out anything. mostly a name, and perhaps talk about where I go to school and such, but nothing else, no contact info. and if the person really creeps me out, a fake name.

[jeeperss]

Oooh I agree with soccerchick, age is important. no one more than 1-2 years older. and any guy who tries to guess my age and starts off with asking if I am in high school is definitely moved closer to the creepy list.

[soccerchick]

when a random guy starts talking with me I usually get cautious ...you have to with all the wierdos walking around these days...if he's my age and only if we both notice something and both sort of initiate a conversation is it okay...otherwise its weird...but def. age is important...im not gonna randomly start talking with some old due

[tts1980]

So if you are by yourself, under what circumstances will you start a conversation with some dude around your age? And if you do, and things goes well (i.e. the conversation was fun and interesting), will you ask the guy for contact? Or you still think the responsibility lies with the guy since you already made the first move to initial the conversation?

[OutOfMyElement43]

Talking to girls in random places is at great way to overcome a fear of talking to women. You'll quickly learn that women are quite easy to talk to; even if they don't like you, many girls just like the attention. If you know you'll probably never see the girl again, what do you have to lose in striking up a conversation? As the saying goes: "if you don't ask the answer is always no." If you keep the conversation light, you won't come across as creepy. Most girls love to talk and you'd probably be suprised how many will talk with you. Light, funny and flirty conversation will get you her contact info if she's very interested.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ways To Start a Conversation With a Stranger

We've all been there before. You're out in public and you see someone you'd like to talk to, but you don't know how to start a conversation.

It can be a nerve-wracking experience, but there are some tried and true ways to start a conversation with a stranger:

• One way to start a conversation is to simply introduce yourself. This is a great icebreaker and it shows that you're friendly and open to talking. Another way to start a conversation is to ask a question. This can be about anything, from the weather to a current event. Asking a question shows that you're interested in the other person and it gives them an opportunity to respond.
• Another great way to start a conversation is to make a comment about your surroundings. This could be anything from pointing out something interesting you see to making a joke about the situation. This is a great way to get the other person to laugh and it shows that you have a sense of humor.

No matter what method you use to start a conversation, the most important thing is to be confident and to seem like you're happy to be talking to the other person. Smile, make eye contact, and be sure to listen more than you talk. If you do these things, you're sure to have a great conversation with anyone you meet.

[soccerchick]

I don't really look to pick up guys on public transport or at the bus station... and I'm also not really into getting the number thing...i typically go for guys who I know... lm shy so Id only start a conversation with some dude my age in a random place if we both notice something funny or something happens, etc... it would have to be a mutual, spontaneous convo if you know what I mean. I don't know in this world if someone randomly starts asking me questions/ talking to me I'm gonna get weirded out .. I don't mind when people chit chat about random observations though... that's fine and not creepy...but I'm typically suspicious t :) personally I wouldn't ask a guy for contact...i guess I'm just not that outgoing...i would wait for a guy to make the move

[kcoolkittie]

I would talk to the guy to be friendly. I don't like flirting right from the beginning. Being friends first is what I prefer. :)

[tts1980]

So does that mean you initial the conversation only because you are bored? Or is there some interest behind but you just want to start off friendly instead of flirty? And again, if things went well (i.e. the conversation was fun and engaging), would you ask the guy for contact or do you think it's the guy's turn since you already made the first move by initiating the conversation?

[kcoolkittie]

If the conversation is filled with more than a few words and little or no awkward silences, I do become interested. I like starting off friendly. I have tried starting off flirty but the guys didn't get the hints. Of course I would ask him for contact if the conversation was fun and engaging. That's how I met a good male friend of mine. :)

[tts1980]

Good to know that. At least now I don't feel I am been dense by no ask for name or contact. If the other party is interested, they will do the asking.

[kcoolkittie]

Well I think it depends if the girl is confident or if she expects the guy to ask. I usually ask because I know that if I don't, I will curse at myself for not doing it (has happened before). Plus I am confident now (most times) to ask the guy for contact.