How do you lose feelings for a girl?

[Anonymous]

My ex cheated on me but we are still friends with benefits. I still have feelings for her but I don't want to. The thing is that she dates other guys and then tells me about them thinking I don't have feelings for her anymore but I still get jealous. And when I tell her about the dates I go on with other girls she seems to get really jealous as well. We dated for almost 3 years and I know that I would have to disconnect myself from her to actually lose feelings for her but she won't let me. If I go a week without calling her its like she starts stalking me by looking for me at my school and repeatedly calling me. I even said we shouldnt have sex anymore because it makes me have more feelings for her but then I know she will start having sex with someone else and then I'll get even more jealous but I really, really don't want to. And its not like I can just go out and start having sex with some one else to get my mind of her because I know that wouldn't work and I am not ready for another real relationship. I don't want to have feelings for her anymore so how do I lose my feelings for her as quickly as possible without completely disconnecting myself from her and without getting another girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Let's start with the first part: You're ex cheated on you. That in itself would piss the sh! T out of me. So, think of it this way, by her having sex with you, that means she's cheating on whoever she's going out with at the time. Knowing this information, imagine how you felt when you found out that she cheated on you. (very hurtful huh? ) Well, the guy she's going out with will probably feel the same (and you're probably thinking who cares about the other guy? Right? ) Well, that's what SHE'S probably thinking too. Or else she wouldn't keep doing that to you or any other guy. I don't want to judge but I think she's pretty low for doing such things.

Now, about the stalking part: She's obviously playing games with you. She knows that no matter what you'll always want to be with her. Isn't that almost the equivalent of using you? Whenever she needs comfort she'll run to you or when things aren't right. Basically, she'll come to you in her own convenience. Don't give her that pleasure. To be honest (and sorry if I'm being too blunt) She's not worth it!

Go ahead feel all the jealousy you want. Sorry to burst your bubble but the only way you can actually not have feelings for her is to actually distant yourself from her. Or if you want keep calling her, keep wanting to go out with her. Do everything possible to be with her. Pour out your feelings to her.

(you might think I'm crazy but you'll see)

[pretty-green-eyes]

Usually friends with benefits, are when there are no feelings involved. Obviously there are feelings involved here, and that just means one or both of you are going to get your feelings hurt when you find out the other person is dating someone else. Seeing as you are not ready for another relationship, I don't think you should be seeing anyone at the moment, not until you have gotten over your ex. I don't think your ex is any good for you, she cheats on you, tells you about her other dates and then "stalks" you lol. You might not want her to have sex with anyone else, but she may do it while you're still seeing each other it obviously makes no difference to her, as she cheated on you before! The only way to get over someone is 'time' and as for her calling you and trying to find you in school, she obviously has feelings for you, but remember she gave you up when she cheated on you! It might not seem like it now, but in time you'll get over this girl, find someone else and until then just concentrate on having fun with your friends! Your next girlfriend will probably make you realize why it was a good idea to leave the cheating ex girlfriend! Good luck :)

[Carebear87]

You do need to disconnect from her. I know it will hurt, and suck, and be really hard. I've done it. But it's time to move on. You have to be strong here. There might be some other girl out there who is just perfect for you, but you're still clinging to a girl who will never be good for you. I'm not saying to jump into another relationship. You need time to heal, and learn, and find yourself again. Relationships, especially bad ones, tend to make you lose your sense of self. You need to be single for awhile and clear your head. Otherwise you might rebound and end up hurting yourself or some other girl. I know it will be lonely and hard. But eventually you'll be free of your really strong feelings for your ex. You will probably always care about her. But you'll be happier without her. Good luck :)

[Merry-Heart]

It actually sounds as though the two of you wouldn't mind still being together, since both of you seem to still have feelings for one another and become jealous when hearing one another's sexual stories. You could try honestly reevaluating why the two of you broke up. There is no easy solution to your problem. You either want to be with this woman or you don't. If you continue to keep her in your life, you are going to have to deal with the torment of hearing her sexual conquest stories. The only way to put an end to that is to totally get her out of your life or get back together with her! If the two of you want to be together, be together! If not, stop playing with fire and move on!

[Merry-Heart]

Actually, I just wrote this, but after reading what other people wrote, I totally agree with what they said! If you stay with this chick and don't cut it off with her, you are a glutten for punishment!

[Bduffman1234]

Ok first of all what the hell is this line ". How do I lose my feelings for her as quickly as possible without completely disconnecting myself from her and without getting another girlfriend? " Bring back your old sock puppets along with susie and her 5 friends. Find another girl, and DO NOT get involved with her sordid life, start doing other things like hit some baseballs go hiking. Just do it in a group unless you have other intentions

[soulman99]

First, stop sleeping with her. Second, get another girl. You may not forget about this girl, but you can at least find another girl that is just as important to you. If you can't handle that then get back together with this girl and deal with her cheating.

[sunniersideup]

there isn't another way. You HAVE to completely disconnect yourself from her. She has some deep insecurity issues that causes her to have to have your attention whether she feels for you or not. She wants to be number one even if you're not her bf. She's probably like this with other guys too. She'll keep doing this as long as you let her. And as long as you're not ready for a new relationship, and she's around, you'll let her. At least get away from her for a little while. CONSUME yourself with a new hobby or friends. Be firm, she'll be crazy, but know it's only for a little while, and months later you'll be much better off knowing you broke out of this crazy yo-yo circle. Good Luck.

*manipulative girls hide themselves behind insecurity*

[Cotton-Candy-Summer]

The best way to get over someone who you know you won't work out with is to sever ties. Go out without her. Have fun without her. You deserve a girl who won't cheat on you. As time goes by and you start establishing a life that you love (maybe you already have that), feelings will fade.

I could be wrong, but I don't think you can keep in contact with her and lose feelings; you need time and space.

[Suzannehope21]

Block her number from your phone and ignore her. That is the only way to get over her.

[kingbrother]

Stop being friends with benefits and move on.