Girlfriend said she lost attraction and feelings, what do I do?

[Grimraed]

Last night, she said she lost attraction and feelings for me but still loves me deeply. A week ago, she took time on her own and then begged me to come see her. There are times where she looks at me like she used to and other times she's kind of cold. I'm not sure if I work to show her why she was once attracted to me, work to reignite the flame will work or not. She seems to be quite confused and a bit all over the place. She has said all she wants is to love me, to be with me and have things like they were. I just don't know what to do. I've started to try and be what I was in the beginning, three years ago, and show her. We are doing more together and I'm trying hard to bring us back. I just don't know if I should just be patient and see if things get better or what to do honestly. She says there's no real reason that this has happened.

[sawno]

Comes in waves for me, not the attraction but feelings. My body sometimes just takes a break from it all and I actually found that helpful since it makes me experience the partner without being love blind. Naturally if I love her she will be equally amazing when ifs gone and then kicks right back in a few days later (or weeks if somethings up like extreme exhaustion).

So this one is on her a lot more than on you, she needs to be honest with both you and herself as to why she feels that way. And if she genuinely loves you she needs to accept that the infatuation phase may have ended so the initial excitement is gone. Its her time to stay and accept it can come and go.

If she can point it out you need to work on that, if she can't point it out she should not be in a state of worry and overthinking but enjoy some special time together to reignite the passion. Perhaps try a new fantasy of hers in the bedroom for example, look each other in the eyes lovingly after sex. Etc.

[Grimraed]

The way it has been I think it may be like you said. Doesn't sound like she wants to leave or lose what we have. Just thay her feelings are just not there like they used to be. I don't know.

[Grimraed]

I don't think she meant the attraction as it being totally gone. More like not like it was? I don't know. I think the attraction thing can be fixed by my actions and such. The feelings I think is going to take time and work, if they can come back.

[coachTanthony]

Many men think this type of behavior is somehow charming or normal. Men fall for the emotional rollercoaster just as easily as women do. My advice get off the rollercoaster and stop allowing her wishy washy behavior make you feel a certain way. You can't build a future with someone who isn't consistent in how they feel and live their life.

[didichi]

If you’re dating someone for awhile and they tell you they lost attraction/feelings. It mostly means that they are talking to someone else and that hurts. It’s time to walk away and move on from that situation. She told you she lost feelings, at least she was being honest, but there has to be a reason why she lost those feelings. If everything was going smoothly and you start to notice something off.. yeah her eyes are on someone else because if you truly love somebody you would never lose feelings unless they were treating you poorly.

[didichi]

Don’t be with somebody who doesn’t know what they want. If one day she lovey dovey, then the next day she’s rude to you, could be trying to keep you around if whoever else she’s talking to doesn’t work out. Don’t let them waste your time.

[Grimraed]

I've had my feelings wax and wane. I'm not sure if this is what's up with her. Long term relationships will see feelings ebb and flow. I'm not too sure though. She has expressed multiple times that she wants to try and fix this. That with time and work we could. I don't know.

[bobalife]

It is sad and hurtful, but it sounds like she wants to rekindle that fire. I think you’re doing great to rebuild that love and feelings. A relationship needs to be water to grow and be love. Hopefully she can gain more insights why it faded… I hope things work out, wishing you all the best!

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, the rollercoaster of love, right? It seems like your lady is on a bit of an emotional journey, and you're strapped in right beside her. It's quite the ride! First off, it's clear you're deeply committed to reigniting that spark – hats off to you. Trying to recapture the essence of what brought you two together in the first place is a great idea. However, love shouldn't feel like a second job, where you punch in and out, trying to earn back affection.

Remember, attraction and feelings can wax and wane; it's part of the mystery and magic of relationships. Since she's sending mixed signals – being hot and cold – it suggests there might be bigger issues at play, maybe some she hasn't fully articulated yet, or maybe she's just as confused as you are.

Patience is key, but so is communication. Sit down with her, create a safe space where she can express her feelings without fear of judgment or immediate solutions being thrown at her. Ask her what she needs from you and the relationship. At times, we lovebomb our partners in hopes of rekindling the flame, but it's the quiet, honest moments that often reignite it.

And hey, remember to take care of yourself too. Being in limbo can be emotionally taxing. Nurture your own interests and well-being alongside trying to mend the relationship. Keep the dialogue open, be patient, and see where these efforts take you. Love is a dance, after all, requiring both partners to tune into the same rhythm. 💃🕺 Feel free to flirt with me here for more advice or just to vent. Let's navigate these tricky waters together.

[Grimraed]

It doesn't feel like a second job. I've noticed things I really could be doing better and more of. These things she's told me about. I've tried talking to her about it to get some kind of idea of why. It sounds like she's confused and doesn't know what she really wants. She says things like I don't know what the right thing to do is. Only thing I can think to do is to stay the course. Get her flowers from time to time. Go do stuff and make memories. Joke and laugh about things. Cuddle and love on each other as much as I can. I think, or at least I really hope that it can be rekindled. However, I am not fully sure. I am afraid there may be things that are just simply not fixable at play. Not that it's her or my fault. Just things that are.

[Grimraed]

It's really like she switches out of the blue.

[sawno]

It won't ever reply to you its just chatgpt with paint and it spams only one opinion.

[DextroShade]

It quite simple: you gave to respect yourself enough to demand submission from any woman you are with. If she won't submit and put out, you must make it very clear that you will push her out. If she won't give you the girlfriend experience then stop giving her the boyfriend experience.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Sorry, but I couldn't be with a woman who was no longer attracted to me!

[Grimraed]

Assessing everything I don't think it's a total loss of attraction. I also think she used what she could best describe or speak her feelings. I'm not entirely sure though.

[exitseven]

Maybe the relationship has just run its course. It is said that the world will end, not with a bang but a whimper. Relationships are like that sometimes.

[CandyLandAm3ircan]

Just Be Glad She Didn't Cheat Lol
Can't Make Sure Doesn't
But Why Not Try

[Anonymous]

Walk away. Any woman who says that is gaming you.

[laly520]

ig time to move on