(Asian guys) If a girl outside your ethnicity flirted with you, how would you react?

[Melirain]

I'm white. I've been attracted to guys of every ethnicity, white/black/hispanic/asian/etc. I've noticed that when I flirt with white, black, or hispanic guys, they usually catch on pretty quick, and often reciprocate or flirt back. But when I've been flirtatious toward Asian guys, it's like hitting a brick wall; all of them either ignore it, don't notice it, or don't believe it. I also don't think I've ever been hit on by an Asian guy. I don't mean to stereotype an entire ethnicity, but I'm wondering why this may be?
Asian guys: do you tend to not like white girls/girls outside of your ethnicity? Do you find it hard to believe that they would like you? Or do you think my experience is just some weird coincidence?

[JoshTheKnight]

As an Asian guy I actually do like and go for girls outside my ethnicity, but I grew up around various ethnicities.
Though to answer your question, many of the fellow Asians I know never even thought of the idea of dating outside their race due to their background culture. They tend to stick to their own race since that is what they are used to, even when living overseas, mostly because that is what they have been taught and grown up with. In some more conservative communities homogenity is a strong practice, any dealings with another race is frowned upon in these cases. However, that also has something to do with Asian stereotypes (by other races) and cultural barriers.
Also what I've often seen is that particularly with Asian Male White Female couples (AMWF), it often takes at least one side to adopt a large extent of the other's culture e. g. a very western-oriented Asian guy, or more often an girl of another race who is deeply into the Asian culture. Even these examples are relatively rare such that it is hard to find one.

So my answer is: No, it isn't you. It's mostly them.

[Melirain]

Hmm... I suppose I should have clarified that I'm in the US and most of the guys are 2nd or 3rd generation Asian Americans or later, so I don't feel like there's a lot of cultural barrier? Unless they got the idea of homogeneity or dating within their race from their families or something. But I haven't noticed any cultural barriers in other aspects of our interactions, and we get along as friends just fine
I appreciate the insight about guys who don't share my nationality though, since I'll be studying abroad in Korea next semester.
Thanks!

[dakraziest]

Most Asians guys are low on self esteem so we think it's a joke or the girl is simply making fun of us by flirting

[Melirain]

Ah. :(
We're not joking though, or at least I'm not.

[dakraziest]

Well then next time chase the guy a little

[Melirain]

That's hard to do though--what if he actually recognizes that I'm flirting, but is intentionally ignoring me? It's hard to keep trying and not lose confidence when I don't get a response.

[dakraziest]

Well move on
What else can u do
For the record if u ever flirted with me, I would respond well to it :-P
It takes a few tries to find the right guy

[Melirain]

Yeah, and I generally do move on if I don't get a response. I just want to make sure that I'm not getting a response because the guys aren't interested, not because they don't notice or have low self esteem and don't believe I mean it.
Thanks! :)

[dakraziest]

Guys are always interested
But Asians just don't have the self esteem to actually see things how they are

[WeComatose]

you have to understand cuture barries and become interculturally competent, i mean im mexican American, though i was raised in this white society, really 98 percent white around me, i kept some of the values and traits from my hispanic heritage, and understand that in many parts of asia, most communication is done NON-VERBALLY, for many reasons, one being that they are a collectivistic culture, and identify with their groups rather than themselves, such as in American and some european cultures. So all im saying is that these things could have passed down through their families, though they reside in Europe or wherever you live.

[bostonceltics1991]

Personally I'd return the favor and flirt right back. :)

A lot of Asian immigrant parents are strict with their kids and discourage dating. It can hurt their confidence and breed shy behavior. So that's why you might get that response - they're just not used to that sort of interaction.

[James0]

Well a lot of Asian guys don't seem to believe we can go after a girl outside our race, but I know for sure their are girls interested in me outside my race, I dated a few :3

[Anonymous]

I am Filipino, and i love all cultures and colors of the human race, i don't discriminate as my most recent partner was greek and the one before that Australian.

I salute you young lady and if you ever approached me and flirted with me, so long as we are attracted to each other, i would most definitely catch on and flirt back and who knows something could blossom hahaha.

I pray more non-asian girls like you are out there!
AMEN!!!

[I_am_repulsive]

Most Asians guys are pretty gullible really

[Melirain]

Gullible?
How does that affect whether or not they notice/respond to flirting?

[I_am_repulsive]

I'm not sure. I'm only 3/4 Asian (Filipino/Spanish) and 1/4 German and I have never been attracted to Asians, so therefore I've only dated and have serious relationships with Caucasians. I'm probably one of the weird ones who are like that though.. I do think you being Caucasian does affects how they perceive things or maybe they just have a really low self esteem and can't differentiate between flirting and being friendly.

[Melirain]

Aw...
I suppose it's comforting to think that some of them may not have been rejecting me, but just didn't realize I was being more than friendly. But at the same time it sucks that they may think that way because of low self esteem. :(