Is chivalry shown to all girls or to girls the guy is interested in?

[Anonymous]

If a guy does things such as holds doors open for you and "says to call him if you need someone to talk to" and etc , does that mean the guy is possibly interested or do guys do this for all females? Men how do you show your chivalry?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

A guy who does acts with chivalry does so for everyone when it occurs to him to do so. But it is a totally different thing when a guy does it as part of his attempt to win her over.

I could see a guy doing that as a sort of subtle "Notice me"

To be honest, I never think about it. I don't personally give a shit about chivalry but when I'm walking out of a building, I hold the door open for the man, woman or sexually conflicted person who comes behind me. Sometimes I help girls bring something to their car if I see them struggling. I saw someone once who was a dollar short on something before he needed to break a $50 bill, I gave the guy the dollar. It's just what you do.

[Asker]

I mean I don't think it was a "win me over" thing since he hasn't talked to me since. I get that people hold doors open for anyone who comes behind them but he kept the door open the whole time I walked through and it wasn't a door that shut automatically when letting go of it. Also when we got off the elevator he was all like "after you".

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Yea, I do the same thing from time to time, it's likely nothing to concern yourself with too much. Maybe he thought you were cute or something. The gesture is so trivial, he might not of even known why he did it.

[Asker]

He isn't a stranger he was a friends with benefits

[Telekinetic-Potato]

lol woah! that's a pretty big thing to leave out haha! What else is there?

[Asker]

Well I mean it's a long story

[Telekinetic-Potato]

What's if you were gonna write it as a story, how would you write an outline in bullet points?

Just the real basic stuff.

[Asker]

So you would like me to basically summarize it?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Yea, just the short version

[Asker]

Ok well we started out as a hook up and he then told me to text him and keep in contact with him, after a week or so of him being out of town I see him again and he acts kinda jealous so it seemed even though we were no where near dating. Then he starts sharing personal information and then leaves and doesn't contact me after. Fast forward 6 months he calls me to hook up again and then we did again a few days after that. That was when he ended the friends with benefits saying that he "couldn't use me anymore" and "couldn't do this anymore" he then started going personal on me again but in a different way (can't really explain it) but then he said he wanted to basically stay in contact and hang out sometime, told me he really just likes talking to me, and told me to call him if i ever need someone to talk to. That was the night when he was holding doors for me too (he never did in the past). Ever since I haven't heard from him.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

It sounds to me like his perspective on you is changing. What went through your mind?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

When I say that I mean what was your reaction to this? What did it make you feel/think

[Asker]

What went through my mind then or what is going through my mind now?

[Telekinetic-Potato]

right now

[Asker]

I mean I don't know, like why act all nice just so you can never talk to me again? I wasn't really expecting anything out of it but it just feels like a rejection and I've been through a lot the past few months.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

So are you into him? Would you like to have a real relationship with him and start dating?

[Asker]

I don't know, I mean yeah Ill admit I do have feelings for him but I was never really the type of girl who was/is into relationships. Also I don't know him that well so what if what I'm falling for isn't exactly who he is. I don't even know if ill ever see him again so its not like i have a chance if i really wanted it.

[Domitangler]

He likes you. He was raised right, but the quote included in your question means just what I said. If he is chivalrous across the board, you have a great catch on your hands, as he was taught to respect everyone as he would like to be respected himself. That type of golden rule shit is had to come by in this day and age.

Jump on him with all your sexual fervor.

[Asker]

I thought he may like me but he hasn't talked to me in months.

Lol he was a friends with benefits and I can't "jump on him" because before he started acting all "chivalrous" he ended the friends with benefits thing we had.

[NyomiMcClinton]

No, not necessarily you have some men who generally are good men and was raised in a manner where they respect women. This is not a bad thing. This generation has been listening to way to many rap songs that think that by degrading women thats the way to go. Its nothing more than a headache and you start to lose yourself in the process by becoming someone your not. If a female does not appreciate that then thats her loss. Let her go be with a guy thats disrespects her and a guy who she will have to chase all her life. Thats her business. At the end of the day what you are doing is the right thing to do.

[Hidden_P]

That isn't a straightforward answer.

I've met men who open doors for me with no interest in. Likewise my boyfriend is extremely chivalrous to me but only to me.

My boyfriend won't let me walk on the side of the pavement (sidewalk) with the cars. He opens doors for me, he goes "ladies first"

Equally I have seen him do the opposite around other women.

It depends on the man, depends on the culture, depends if the guy is in a rush, it's not always straightforward.

[Asker]

When we walked off an elevator he was all like "after you" also

[Hidden_P]

Frankly there isn't enough to go on.

[Southern-Shorty]

A guy holding a door open for me is always appreciated. I do not think he is interested in me, so I just move along. Having good manners and being a gentleman is not flirting. Secondly, if a guy continues to pursue me in some way, then yes, he is probably interested.

[Maypai]

I feel it has to do with respect as well. I've had guys open doors for me over girls in short shorts or exposing a lot of skin. That's from my experiences though.

[That1tallguy]

Opening doors is normal but telling someone call me if you need some one to talk to is a little different. I would only say that if it's a friend in need who has been going through problems or a girl I'm intrested in. I wouldn't tell just any girl to call me unless I was intrested I think most other guys are the same.

[Asker]

He was a friends with benefits and we had been talking about personal stuff beforehand. He seemed to have more problems then me though.

[That1tallguy]

He probably caught feelings when you guys were hooking up

[Asker]

I thought so too but he hasn't talked to me in a few months

[That1tallguy]

In that case you should probably forget about him months is to much time with out contact

[Asker]

I didn't say i was into him

[That1tallguy]

Well if you made a post damn near about him I'm pretty sure you were thinking about him

[Junlian]

Auuuum he want sex. Those are weak qualities in a male. Why? Cause your not taking time to know her. Your just being a door Matt to only gain her trust yo later get in her pants. But it'll back fire cause girls told me " I want my boyfriend to be a man not my friend, if I wanted a friend then I'll get one." meh. He's interested all right.

[Asker]

It's not sex, this was a guy who was my friends with benefits and had just gotten done telling me that he didn't want to use me anymore.

[Junlian]

Okay. That's wrong lol. But anyway seriously though he feel some type a way about using you. I don't get what he mean if both consented to it. But if this guy showing his Chilvarous side to all girls then he might be keeping his options open.

[Asker]

The way I worded it may have been funny. He just randomly said "I can't do this anymore, I can't use you anymore" and our friends with benefits thing ended unfortunately. I don't know if he does this for other girls bc I'm not around him with others. He held a door open one time for this one girl who asked cause she was carrying a lot of stuff and couldn't open it herself but I mean who wouldn't help her out?

[Junlian]

Hahaha guys do that self consciously. It's like walking. You'll never know your doing it and what for cause you never gave it a thought.

[Asker]

Are you talking about the holding doors open thing or for saying he can't use me anymore part?

[Junlian]

Holding doors open. Guys do it to any girl. Now about the guy quitting the friends with benefits thing. I'm baffled. If I was in his shoes..., let me stop before I get a little sexual. Haha! Either way. We open the door for girls unknowingly.

[MadeInAmerica]

Open door I will do just be nice to anyone when I'm in the mood to be nice. However other types of chivalry like "call when you need someone" is something I would say to be nice to someone I'm interested in.

[Asker]

Like he would make sure he was in front of me so he could hold the door open as a walked through. It was more of a voluntary thing versus a "she's behind me I have to keep my hand on the door so it doesn't slam in her face" if any of that makes sense. Plus these doors weren't the ones that shut on their own and stay open.

[MadeInAmerica]

He is interested in you as he is putting in a lot of effort to be in a position to be nice to you.

[Asker]

I thought so too but it's been months since he's talked to me. I'm so confused

[yotes-of-472]

Chivalry is a stupid term to use. I prefer the term 'manners'. Manners is for everybody: friends, enemies and strangers. It shouldn't alter what relationship they are to you to change whether you show manners or not.

Since this isn't a yes or no type answer, I can't pick one other the other.

[sois_pas_basic]

Depends on the guy. If he's a true gentlemen, it usually applies to all females, but in that case, he'd be more chivalrous with ones he's interested in.

[Asker]

In what case?

[sois_pas_basic]

In the case that he treats all females with chivalry.

[sois_pas_basic]

Also, a lot of guys will hold doors for girls for the sake of getting a chance to check you out.

[PhoenixItalian]

I am polite to all humans, it's part of having self respect and avoiding hypocrisy. Just as I expect others to treat me with respect I'm in no position to not treat others as I'd want to be treated, thus I'm polite. If I'm interested in a girl, I'll talk to her and get to know her, sizing her up in terms of compatibility.

[AleDeEurope]

A chivalrous man is chivalrous to everyone, if not, he's not chivalrous.

[JSmuve]

I hold doors open for everyone; dudes, chicks, kids, old people, hot broads, ugly bitches, everyone. Doesn't mean a thing.

I don't tell anyone to call me if they need anything. I'm not a help line.

[atlantiscruz182]

The door holding thing is just him being a nice person. It just means he has manners. But the calling him if you need to talk thing? I would say it's pretty likely he's interested.

[Mofunfour20]

probably but most times i do that its usually out of starting up some positive momentum for the moment. Maybe to see what the circumstance transitions to

[WalterRadio]

That may depend upon the age of the guy, but I am polite to all women who are not bitches.

[Asker]

This guy is 20-21 one of those

[Anonymous]

I feel like a respectable man should do that regardless if he is interested or not. Then it would just mean that he is just kind to get into the girl's pants. And that is not real kindness

[Relentless_Hippie]

Chivarly is shown to women of quality by men of quality.

[Djaaaay]

To people noticeably respectful , otherwise with known tension between us , then forget it altogether.

[Kindoflonelyguy]

I personally show chivalry to all girls/women, but if there's a girl I like, I do a little more.

[Anonymous]

it's shown to all women... but it confused & assumed as flirting

[Guy_No1]

I believe in being courteous and I would always behave like a gentleman towards females.

[mpc007]

depends but I only do it when I'm interested.

[reptocarl]

I'm courteous to all

[Anonymous]

Depends on the guy and how moral that guy is

[Anonymous]

i try my best to be a good person

[TheFinalCentury]

everyone

[LastNightmare]

to all.