Study shows that about 95% of guys want girls to make the first move... do you guys believe it is true? (Page 2)
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While I don't exclusively think that women should make the first move, I think more need to if they want someone. Same with asking for one's hand in marriage. People need to discard gender roles and evolve into humans following their dreams.
We'd like them too, we do want them too. And they should too. Big babies I tell you. Want the man to do everything lol
Guys want girls to make the first move because it means that the girl is interested. Other then the guy making the move and getting rejected.
Either way for me works. I was fortunate. My prayers were answered and I met my Wife on a BLIND DATE!
What was it like? The date?
@thetundrawolf , You are going to like this! My Mother and her Boyfriend (Hair Stylist) were on the blind date! Later the Boyfriend married my Mother and he is my Step-Father! As for the date, it was great! Been married for 24 years. Daughter about to graduate from College. My wife was truly an answer to my Prayers.
My recommendation to ANY young Man today is to Pray for the right girlfriend/wife. I'm glad I'm not a 20 something young man trying to find a girlfriend. Google on "woman are not women anymore".
Yes I pray for the woman God has for me almost every day. I see so much healing in my own heart and getting ready to be the right man for her. I know if I would have met her just a year ago I wouldn't have known the things I know now. The Bible says that God knew me before the foundation of the world well if that's true then God also knows the woman He had and still has for me.
I often make the first move. I often intiate sex with my boyfriend too
I mean I certainly don't have anything against it, but it's not exactly that I want them to make the first move.
I seem to be one of the 5% of guys then. Every time a girl approached me, I felt uncomfortable. I prefer to be in control of the situation and that involves me being the one going after the girl and asking her out.
i feel the same. so wed clash:)
what do you do if you actually really like the girl? i won't reject the guy if i like him bc thats dumb, but i dont like it.
@AriadneSky If I really like the girl then I will approach her before she approaches me. :)
of course i could say the same but, it doesn't always happen. she could just see you before you see her.
@AriadneSky then I'd give her a chance of course.
yeah, of course. :-)
I agree haha I do sometimes make the first move.
With my Ex, I was the one making the first move. We're in the 21st century damn it hahaha
I don't know how much this statistic is true for every guy. Personally I wouldn't mind a girl asking me out. I don't see anything that damaging to my pride about it.
I think everyone wants their crush to make the first move :)
Your link is broken.
However, yeah, it's good to know whether the girl is interested in us or not, so that we don't waste our time, money and energy trying to get her attention.
Whats an islamorealist?
@pooper89
"Islamorealist" -> an infidel that knows about islam more than he's supposed to.
You're Islamic?
Oh wait. So you're not Islamic but know a lot about it
@pooper89
Yeap.
Usually uneducated/dumb people call it "islamophobe", but correct term is "islamorealist".
elitedaily.com/.../
Here is the article
i've actually sometimes thought about approaching guys instead, so this is good to know lol
Do it, it's fun lol
@innocentgirl9 haha will take the advice girl lol
girl I've thought the same way lately because what's the worst that can happen
@Cats_kitty right. if he says no you know the answer. some girls need to stop being such pussies. lol
yea plus it's not that I'll ever have to go back to where he works
I feel like it will build up confidence in myself because a year ago I wouldn't even think about asking a guy put
out*
@Cats_kitty you actually don't. you can always get yourself fired and go on unemployment lol
Hahaha well that would be pointless since we don't work together
@Cats_kitty just do it. this bubble women have been living in, of "well, I'm a woman so I don't have to do X, Y and Z" needs to stop. you want him? You better work for him. There are guys who get rejected every single month. Most women would never endure that, or they would find lame excuses like "well men just don't like it when they are approached." You, as a girl, should approach men. Yes, you will be rejected, but that's life. You will also get many opportunities that you haven't had before. My girlfriend approached me and we're a happy couple.
yesssss exactly, this sums it up perfectly. I know that if I don't approach him nothing will ever happen so I'd rather get rejected then wounder what could've happened like I have in the past
@Cats_kitty big thumbs up, my girl! :D
just gotta think about what imma say or I'm just gunna wing it and do it on the spot
@Cats_kitty "Hi, you're cute, I'd like to buy you coffee sometime, wanna go out with me?" lol
I had a poll on here, and 99% answered they would like the girl to make the first move. I think most of those guys are very passive though. It's not really 'natural', biologically, for women to chase the men.
that's just not true. there are tribes in secluded parts of the world where it's the exclusive norm for women to choose men and propose to them. those tribes are as natural as you can get. stop trying to rationalize your own passiveness.
@ineverpayfordates how do you even know I'm passive? That's a dumb assumption to make. Anyway, that's one example. Going back further, to pure instincts, like we see in our relatives the monkey, the male always chases. The female might come to the male for affection after having already received it, but the males always chase.
I'm not saying women shouldn't take initiative, if that's something you wanna do whatever, it's not my issue. I'm just saying it's not biologically wired in a woman's brain to initiate. However, it is wired to seduce, which can be seen as initiating. Nowadays many males fail to see the signs of interest which is why they complain about women not initiating.
You're talking pseudoscientific nonsense. Let me quote an article on it (I can't include the link because I'm xper 1 but you can google for it):
"Ever since Darwin there had been an assumption among evolutionary biologists that females were coy and choosy in their sexual behavior while males were the ardent, promiscuous sex. Even though important advances in gender equality have been achieved since then, “most Darwinian models of human origins incorporate females only as passive objects of male competition,” wrote biological anthropologists Craig Stanford and John Allen as the 20th century came to a close. And yet these female langurs were observed actively pursuing males from neighboring troops while, according to the prevailing theory, they should have been chaste rather than chasing. What was even more surprising was that they would exhibit these sexual advances at any stage in their estrous cycle, sometimes even when they were already pregnant."
Langurs, if you didn't know, are a group of monkeys. And female Langurs chase males, even for sex! There are plenty of female species in nature which chase males! There are plenty of human tribes where this is the norm!
Again, you're trying to rationalize societal standards. We know that human minds are very prone to first deciding on a desired outcome, then coming up with a plausible-sounding story of why it must be so. In general, our minds have difficulty noticing faulty reasoning if it leads to the right conclusion. It's easy and tempting to come up with an ad-hoc evolutionary explanation for any behavior, regardless of whether or not it actually has any biological roots.
As for you not being passive, how many men have you asked out on first dates so far? How many men have you asked for their number?
@ineverpayfordates I've asked out men before. I've initiated a conversation, I've asked their number. It's not hard to do, it's just more uncomfortable for women to be rejected (because of the societal norm)
Sure, langurs are a good example of females initiating. But why do they go to different troups for sex? Is it to keep the population healthy or something different? There are some tribes where females initiate, but there are also a lot of them where the female does not. I'm willing to conclude it might be a taught process, but still the majority of those tribes have males initiating, making it more logical that that's a biologic thing. (As seen in other species)
No, the majority don't have the male initiating. That's not true, not even for the whole animal kingdom. I know why you might think that as this was the prevalent opinion just a few years ago but we are starting to learn that this is not true at all. Let me quote another article from the BBC:
"Once upon a time, animal courtship was thought to run something like a Barbara Cartland novel. The rakish males battle it out for a chaste female, who sits around choosing the prince charming to father her young. While her mate may sow his wild oats far and wide, she patiently tends her brood.
Notwithstanding a few counterexamples, these roles were thought to be largely the same across the animal kingdom: males were thought to be promiscuous, dominant and aggressive and the females chaste and passive. For many people, it was just the natural order of the world.
But have we been blinkered by our own cultural prejudices, casting animals in the kinds of roles we saw in the society around us?
That is the view of a small but growing number of biologists. "It's almost like they are using this locker-room logic – counting which males 'score' the most," says Joan Roughgarden at the Hawai'i Institute of Marine Biology.
Researchers such as Roughgarden argue that it was a classic case of "confirmation bias". Many biologists were seeing what they wanted to believe, and then using the results to justify prevailing cultural norms. "You get this back-and-forth: science is reinforcing societal mores, and the mores are reinforcing what the science is saying," says Zuleyma Tang-Martinez at the University of Missouri – St Louis.
The result, Tang-Martinez and Roughgarden believe, is that scientists have often failed to recognise astonishingly diverse sexual behaviours across the animal kingdom. There are now myriad examples of animals that break the rules entirely – from intersex kangaroo to a fish with four separate "genders".
[...] Tang-Martinez points out that female lionesses may mate 100 times a day with a string of different partners. The same seemingly-indiscriminate lust can be seen in many species of primates: not just the famously sexually-active bonobos, but langurs, lemurs and capuchin monkeys. That's not to mention countless studies of beetles, crickets, salamanders, snakes, geckos and house mice.
In all these cases, the females simply do not sit around waiting for Prince Charming, as Bateman had proposed."
It is leagues easier for a woman to make the first move than the man. If a guy makes the first move, a woman's first instinct is to assume he's a creep. If a woman makes the first move, a guy's first instinct is 'oh hell yeah, she wants the D.'
hmm yes but for many guys thats a reason to reject her. i dont care they can go suck it. just saying , for many women they will not make a move bc the guy will use it against them. WHY they want that guy. no clue.
@AriadneSky Not at all. I mean sure, some guys will have an ego and feel their 'masculinity' is threatened. However, most of us will be welcoming of women asking for our numbers, inviting us on dates, and initiating sex. Trust me.
Also, there are far more single guys than guys who are in relationships. As for women, they all seem to be in relationships.
That might be one of the few concerns a single guy could worry about if a girl approaches him though.
... I've known a few guys who were interested in a friend until she asked him out. some even when they already expressed interest. i dont think its majority but certainly a fair amount. i mean feeling threatened is not a small thing. and maybe they'd have come around in time but none of my friends waited bc its pretty infuriating having someone try to make you feel like an idiot bc you had courage.
but i like your attitude. I've seen lots of your answers, you have sensible views and seem honest about it :-)
actually with my boyfriend i thought he was rejecting me bc i initiated things. he got mad when i asked him on a date. but it was a misunderstanding bc he thought id already rejected him and felt i was jerking him around. i nearly did not ask him out again, but luckily i got good advice here and went for it one last time :) i didn't bother asking him out lol i just said does he want to be my boyfriend. nooooo haha worse. i think i told him i was in love with him then said nvm, i take it back.
then i talked to him again explaining i was just trying to sort out if i should move on, bc i wanted to start over, well i wanted him to be my boyfriend.
and he gave this big speech about trust etc and it sounded like he was rejecting me so i was just like so... do you not want to be my boyfriend. and he said he didn't say that lol
he wanted to take things slow. then i visited him at work then he walked me home then he slept over-actual sleep not sex, then in the middle of the night he asked if i was his girlfriend. lol
but id asked first. and if i had not i dont see hat as working out at all.
true he asked me out first years ago but i was not ready to date, if i had been id have asked him out and there'd be no misunderstanding.
@AriadneSky Sounds like what's happening to me and my ex right now lol.
@AlexanderMTW
ah haha --hope it ends (begins?) well !
:-)
Thank you, yeah it ended well.
Personally I'm ok with making the first move, cuz I have this classmate that a huge crush on me 2 years ago, I had a crush on him too. a week ago, he told me he had a crush on me, and he was shy to ask. So I was like shit, I should of made the first move. I think girls should make the first move.
Good lesson to learn
Upto some extent because sometimes men don't know if this is the right move or right time. So if women make that 1st move this can be a life saving act 😂😂
Sadly because they are not men anymore. They are afraid to be rejected and they are fragile they can't even handle a lady saying 'no' to them. It's human nature a guy moves first. Girls are the ones being offered. The funny thing is, guys who want girls to do the first move think they'll get much proposals from women while no one will even bother about them.
I wouldn't mind if she did, but I would prefer to make the first move myself.
Yes, I believe it. It almost never pays off, though. They're either not interested or taken, or they go along for a few dates and fade out.
It makes me wonder if guys feel less invested in women they didn't chase.
No, I don't believe that. The same happens to lots of men, too. They ask a girl out and she ghosts him after a few dates. They just weren't attracted to you that much.
@jessica5d Yes, that's what I tell myself. A couple times, though, it turned out that the guy had a girlfriend and I was tempting him away from her. As soon as I found out I ended it but I felt really bad.
Yeah, it was better that way. I actually had a lot of luck going after guys but I only did it with guys who I knew were interested in me in the first place.
Yea that's possible "if guys feel less invested in women they didn't chase"
Maybe middle point is always best... make it obvious but let him come to you...
@jessica5d I don't know any single guys so for me it's like cold-selling. Lol. Just walk up to a guy somewhere and start a conversation, and if it goes well, give him my number.
That's actually pretty amazing too. When that does happen, you walk away feeling pretty good
@TripleAce sighhhh... I dunno... I'm just not attractive enough. No one likes me. Waaaaahhhhhh!
Attraction is the biggest curse when it comes to dating. You can be the best ever but if the person isn't attracted to you... it's pretty much game over
@TripleAce Yup!
It would prolly help if I lost 50 lbs, but the lifestyle changes required to do that are more than I can tackle at the moment.
Yet chubby chicks still get dates, sooo... I dunno.
I love the photo!
"They're either not interested or taken, or they go along for a few dates and fade out."
This is EXACTLY what it's like when men chase women! It's a numbers game and plenty of men regularly get rejected like a hundred times before they get accepted.
Then they break up and it's right back at the constant never ending rejection game where you have to keep a positive attitude or risk becoming the kind of person no one would want to be with, have to magically keep your confidence up as well otherwise you will get even more rejection..
Honestly I think lots of women could learn a great deal about men if they would put their big girl pants on and spend a couple years exclusively chasing men on a regular basis.
@Jager66 haha... if there were only enough around to chase
if there isn't physically enough men to chase.. ya that would makes things a fair bit more difficult!
@Jager66 Yup. Lol
Since the moment you say "hi" you're already a stalker nowadays. So it could be true that most prefer being approached.