How do guys feel about spontaneous compliments?

[Simple-Simonette]

I was grocery shopping the other day and my checkout guy had the most amazing eyes. So I told him that and I could tell he was flustered. I felt kind of bad, because I was afraid he thought I was hitting on him and he felt uncomfortable about my blatant come on (haha!). But I dole out compliments all the time, not thinking about how the recipient might take it.

As a woman, I've been spontaneously complimented and for the most part never felt as though I was being "hit on". A guy would just tell me "You have a beautiful smile", or "You are so beautiful" and walk away, leaving me glowing.

How does a man take a compliment from an unknown woman? Is it flattering, uncomfortable, scary? I asked my husband and he said all men think "She wants me." Is that true?

[ErikM]

I'd be pleasently surprised if a girl or woman complimented me, even if I didn't know her. Truth be told, I might wonder if she was hitting on me, but that's beause I'm not used to getting compliments from females. Men in general aren't really used to get compliments from the opposite sex, so honestly they might not know how to react, other than to smile or get flustered (not necassarily in a bad way, just being shy). For me personally, it's definitely not scary. Might it make me a bit flustered and make me turn red? Maybe, it depends on the lady making the compliment, and the compliment itself. I'm kind of shy, but not so much that I can't talk to a lady.

I think that in this day in age, whenany m women expect men to want sex with them because they give them a compliment (since some men just say nice things to get into women's pants), maybe men are figuring women might be the same way? I guess it's sad, considering that people of the opposite sex should be able to be friendly with each other without sex being the the driving force. Honestly, I think a woman's compliment to a man would more often be seen as genuine, by the man, than vice versa, since it's less common for women to compliment men.

Maybe men need to be complimented once in a while, and if women did more of it men wouldn't get so flustered or shy about it? Maybe men who're a little shy and timid would get greater confidence and would feel better about asking the nice girl that he likes out on a date? I think I can be a little shy around women, and the few times women have complimented me it's absolutely made me feel better about myself. In conclusion, I don't think there's anything wrong with women complimenting men. Maybe we need to make compliments into something more "house clean", rather than as something people regard as shady pick-up lines? Maybe we need to be more friendly with each other in general and show more appreciation for each other, not less?

[Simple-Simonette]

I agree - I love giving compliments without fearing it would be mistaken for something else. So many people need to know that they are attractive. Being married is my safety net to compliment at will. I can understand how single women would feel a little vulnerable in openly admiring a man. I'm sure men feel vulnerable as well, when giving a compliment, because of the possible negative reaction from a woman. We should just take admiration without expectation.

[ErikM]

I'd say that men can absolutely feel vulnerable too, just like women can. Your observation is accurate.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

I get freaked out, surprised... but in a good way. lol

It's not that it's creepy, but I will feel as though you're kinda hitting on me. The reason I get so flustered is because it's not something I'm used to. I never know what to say in those situations, and so it catches me off-guard and I'm left with nothing to say in return besides "Thanks" or "Yeah I get that a lot" or "Cool, I like your boobs".

And it does leave me glowing. xD Last time it happened was when two girls approached me and asked me a few questions for a survey they were doing, and one of them tells me I'm cute and tries getting my number. I did give it but she never called. lol But the point is I left there with a huge smile that took like 10 minutes to fade away.

[icepuffin]

I agree, especially the whole 'caught off-guard' bit lol

I'd be like: errr... really? thanks, you gotta nice ass... I mean, sexy elbows, no wait...oh damnit. XD

I'd be grateful to receive them anyhow

[Simple-Simonette]

Well, good. I feel good when I get complimented and I like to make people feel good. I compliment both men and women. This guy was the first guy to ever get visibly flustered.

[Littletad]

Guys are a different matter. It's not common for a guy to be complimented out of the blue. He's probably going to think you either flirted with him, you are a cougar, or just take it as a compliment normally. Women are far more used to hearing nice things, whatever they may be. But men rarely hear nice words. Keep in mind that women rarely make the first move or initiate before men, so this must be why he was surprised.

But at the end of the day I learned something real early in life from my mother. And that's that everybody, be it man or woman, could use a little spontaneous compliment. So long as it's genuine and true.

[Simple-Simonette]

That's funny. Inside I don't feel old enough to be a cougar, but I guess I really am. Rawr!

Lol.

[RealDeal]

Kinda true. It's like saying, "girls know within five mintues if she would sleep with a man". Well if we are talking and you ain't telling me to go screw myself, but you are complimenting me. It is hard not to believe that she isn't somewhat interested in me on some level.

No matter what, getting a compliment from a female is nice. Especially, if it is something you have heard before or if you believe it is true and ginuine. It's kinda nice knowing that someone you don't know, noticed something positive about you.

[TweetiByrd]

In a way that is true, if a person isn't used to that sort of thing. A few years ago I was growing my hair to donate to the kids and I'd get compliments from women all the time saying how healthy and nice it was, or how "pretty" my hair was. Being a people person, I normally didn't get too flustered until this model type older lady made a few comments about how my hair brought out the color in my eyes and made a compliment or two about those too. So I just stammered out a "thank you" and felt as though I was on a cloud for a while.

So I guess in answer to your question, I like 'em. But, like you, I will also tell a complete stranger that she looks pretty or that she has pretty eyes or that her dress really looks good on her. I think it just depends on the person.

[NMMan]

He might have been flustered because he wasn't accustomed to receiving compliments of that nature and was caught off-guard. There are some guys who automatically think it's flirting, other might just smile and say thank you. Or they might stammer and stutter like your guy did.

[dtaylor31906]

Its hard to not think she that she might want me because it doesn't happen often most women don't just dish out compliments unless they are going somewhere with it

but I see what your saying so I just like to say that this question just changed my life a little from now on if I get a random compliment I won't automatically think she wants. lol

[GIntrovert]

He didn't happen to be 16 year old did he.. it would explain why he was uncomfortable that a 36-45 year old women was hitting on him..

[Simple-Simonette]

No, lol, he was my age.

[Simple-Simonette]

BTW, I have complimented younger men they always seem to take it in stride.

[GIntrovert]

Yea I figured lol, just trying to get a laugh out of ya.. I agree with timeandtimeagain.. when it catches you by surprise it well.. surprises a guy.. because it doesn't happen often..

[gnargnar]

that is exactly how I react. I think it's safe to say everyone likes to be complemented, but the flustering comes in as a result of the surprise, and having that short moment where you have no idea what to say.

[cjwright79]

"To praise is to do harm." -- Hagakure