Why am I so clueless when it comes to any of this?

Everyone around me has naturally figured out on their own how to find a date or find a girlfriend (or boyfriend for the girls I know), and it just seems to come naturally to them--like it's no big deal. For some reason I never successfully jumped in the "arena". I'd sure like to, but after 26 years and trying yet never succeeding, I'm clueless. Got no idea what's supposed to work and what doesn't work. So far I consistently seem to scare women away the moment I show interest. Hell I scared one away today. And friends and people that respond online whenever I tell this story always give stock responses like "You'll find someone, don't worry," and "just go out and meet people." Going out and meeting people. That makes me think of going into a random public place, and stopping to talk to random people. Since when would a girl in front of me waiting to buy her groceries have any hope that I'd hit on her? Or the girl behind the counter in the coffee shop. Or the chick next to me in class. Every single time I've expressed interest, it's like I suddenly become a freak. It's not like I do anything weird--if I've talked to the girl a few times and we get along and I like her, I'll get around to it and typically I do my best to confidently tell her I'd like to get to know her more, and ask her if she'd like to go out for coffee or something. They always react like they're shocked I asked.

To summarize: While everyone else seems to find a companion easily, trying to date women is I think the most confusing thing I have ever encountered. Most problems I run into I can figure out--there's usually a clear cut answer. Trying to figure out why girls don't ever demonstrate any interest in me? Trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong? No freakin' idea.

One element of truth: I don't try to ask women out very often. Anymore, I don't regularly come across an available woman that I'm interested in. I also don't get out much, but at the same time, bars don't seem like the ideal place to find the ideal woman.

So tell me. Is becoming cannon fodder for women to reject me countless times over the only way to eventually find one that might say yes?

Is the success ratio of trying to find someone to be with about the same as the success ratio of a telemarketer?

In the end, if you're thinking "tl;dr--quit whining", I understand.
Why am I so clueless when it comes to any of this?
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