My boyfriend just told me I'm homely?

[uglychick]

What, exactly, am I supposed to do with that? He also said that, if I get any plastic surgery, he'll leave me (tempting!). This was said as part of a larger argument but he never compliments me on my appearance so I am inclined to believe it's how he really feels. If that's what he's thinking, then why did he even hook up with me and how am I supposed to feel intimate with him now, when all I'll be able to think is "i bet he wishes he had a bag for my face?" The thing is, he has really narrow standards of beauty and I'm fully aware that I'm no supermodel. I've also been told by a lot of other people that I'm beautiful (not just people who are related to me, either) so I should probably just chalk this up to poor taste on his part...but I can't. Is this just me being vain? Or is this a control thing with him? Or...?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks so much to all of you who responded - I really appreciate hearing some objective opinions. Sounds like I have some hard choices in front of me.

[75superman]

What?! Sorry to read that he said that to you. I'm sure that it hurt your feelings, but please don't believe him or take it personally. It does sound like that he's got other issues. Possibly low self esteem himself and doesn't want you to have a high self esteem in a fear that you'll leave him for someone else. So, he's trying to pull you down to his level. It also could have been something said in the heat of the moment during the argument just to hurt your feelings. Kind of like what little kids do when they have no defense for their argument and just say something like "yeah, well...you're ugly". Anyway, I'm not making excuses for his comment just a likely reason behind it but not anything to do with your looks. Consider the source and the situation. Like you wrote that other people have said that you're beautiful and based on the picture that you have posted of yourself, I'd agree. You are beautiful and don't let someone try to convince you otherwise.

[dearygal]

I don't think this is you being vain at all. I don't think it's about any physical characteristics actually. It sounds to me like he may not be the best guy in the world and went for the low-blow while arguing with you. I would take it as a sign that you can do better. Sorry, hun!

[lavender]

He said this as an insult and not as an observation. And it was meant to hurt you (and not, say, constructive criticism). Don't take it as a blatant message that you aren't attractive. Instead, read it as a huge sign that your boyfriend is a jerk.