If you and your crush are both shy, how can you avoid ignoring each other in a group outing?

[Anonymous]

I’m a shy girl and my crush is a shy guy. It’s starting to get obvious that we like each other but going out is harder for us because we are both introverted and nervous about it. Many people told me a group outing would be better and I agree because we both have quite a few mutual friends. The thing is I’m worried about us not actually talking to each other during that time. I feel like we would engage in conversation with our friends instead of each other. How can we avoid that?

[ak667]

Sit right next to him, maybe even bump into him and nudge him a little bit in a friendly way. Should help a little bit.

As someone who started super shy and overcame it, I found it helpful in the beginning to connect physical actions to words. For example, back then the prospect of introducing myself to people at a party was so daunting, until I learned to look at it as a series of physical actions: "Put one foot in front of the other until you are in front of a person, then extend hand out." Then I'd follow the physical directions and be standing in front of a person with my hand out, and now I better introduce myself or I'll look like a crazy person! And then the words came.

[ak667]

It's somewhat forcing yourself in situations where you have to talk. There are some alternatives too. You can crumple up a piece of paper and throw it at his head. You can stuff a piece of paper down a straw and shoot him with it like a blow-dart. You can draw a scribbly and funny picture of him on a napkin and show him. Whatever you want -- but this is sort of forcing yourself to interact in a way, and words should come.

[ak667]

When walking you can kind of bump into him on purpose too, like nudge him with the hip in a teasing and playful kind of way. That might seem a bit daunting at first. I liked to do that a lot on dates but somehow I wasn't nearly as "physically shy" as I was "verbally shy".

[QueenofCups]

I used to be shy too, so I get where you're coming from. Take a deep breath, spend a point of Willpower and just talk to him.

[WeirdoWerdo]

I almost read that as "And just take him down!"

[QueenofCups]

@WeirdoWerdo LOL...

[AmeerX]

It will come naturally