I'm a failure with women... what to do?

[Anonymous]

I don't believe I am that bad looking, just average. skinny with blue eyes. But I am not a body builder, as I am skinny. I figure I must have other problems (personality or something) than looks because I can't even get a date. I don't know what to say. I'm frustrated cause it seems like women get asked out all the time and can pick, but guys just keep getting rejected and rejected. Instead of getting confidence, every rejection turns into less confidence for me.

Suggestions? How do you go get a date?

[aj22one]

Honestly women and men both have their problems to deal with when it comes to dating, just their problems are different. Also, I am in the same situation as you, I'm 22 almost 23 and have next to no experience with women apart from hanging out with a few of them on the very odd occasion, so I have no idea what to tell you in terms of meeting women and getting dates. However, what I do know is that hitting the gym is no magic bullet solution to the problem. Hitting the gym and getting regular exercise is good for its own reasons but in my experience it does not help in the romance department. After high school I started running, playing basketball, lifting weights, biking etc. and have gotten into real good shape (and have become beast on the basketball court), but I am still no better with women today than I was years ago. The only thing I can think of is to purposely make female friends and get them to set you up with one of their friends. Women love being matchmakers so try that.

[saywhy]

Ok women are not that mysterious. For the most part these gir-women are ridiculously insecure. Why do you think fashion/makeup is so important? If you're not sure who you are be someone else or better yet follow the herd...that's about 90% of the population(comforting in a rather tragic way isn't it?:))) So start small if you're really worried (maybe an e-pal who's a girl?) and build up your confidence till you can smile at a sweet looking girl and say hi

[aj22one]

You know, I understand women are not "that mysterious", I have a younger sister and I know how much of a mess girls/women can be. And I am sure of who I am, unfortunately I have gotten it in my mind that who I am is not what girls are looking for. It's probably more psychological at this point than anything. To make matters worse I am very reluctant to take risks (I even go the speed limit and stop at yellow lights) especially when it comes to women.

[Genesis5]

I agree with ItalianBro. Hit the gym.

It's not that you need to be in better shape to get women (not that it hurts exactly), but seeing the change in yourself, and reaching new goals will help build your confidence and that's where you're going to get the help talking to women.

Also, try some free online dating sites. Even if you don't want to meet up with someone, the socializing can help get you more confident to talk to women.

Best wishes.

[saywhy]

Hi! This will be your first GIRL answer...yes it's all very exciting!

I have to agree with dance backwards(kidnapping aside...) it really is a numbers thing. The most confident guys get shot down all the time too... the only difference being that they dust themselves off and try again.

The other important thing to remember is that evry girl is different. Some think bodybuilding is great others go for a delicate idler with a sweet smile. The best thing you can do is fiqure out who you are and then be confident about it...and only in this way will you find the right person for you. Let's face it you can't please evryone so you should at least please yourself! There are plenty of girls out there who would like you but you have to like yourself first...and most importantly HAVE FUN WITH IT.

[ItalianBro]

In high school I purposely kept my weight low for wrestling. After when I graduated and moved on to college I gained 10 pounds in 3 months lifting weights. I suggest you go to the gym because when you see changes in your body (muscle) it will increase your confidence. I am 5'8 145 pounds and like 6-7% body fat.

[dance_backwards]

Ask early, ask often, and ask many. Ask and ye shall receive. Failing that, you can always kidnap some. j/k don't do that unless she's really attractive ;-)