I know it's better to meet men in real life. But the type of places where men usually approach a woman, bar or club, are looking for a hookup. And the ones that approach you randomly out in the streets are usually sleezes (disrespectful, bad boy types).
But from my experience it's easier to get their vibes and intentions when you do it via social media. First of all you can get an idea of what type of person they are from their feed. And you will be texting and having conversations. A guy looking for a hookup will usually not have serious mature conversations. And if he is it will eventually come out. Like a true example is when a guy asked me out after texting for a while, he said he would book a hotel room. Social Media hook upBut right now, my friend request's and my dm:s are totally empty. I don't get it honestly. My profile picture is cute, at lest I think so. But I'm not a "insta-baddie". But I know I look good, maybe not a 10/10 but attractive enough.
So guys what about a girl makes you request a follow or message her?
I’d recommend meeting people in real life, or at least primarily in real life. Not sure where you live, but in the western world things like nightlife, social networks and dating apps have become a real mess for meeting someone. They once were quite a lot of fun, but not anymore, and me personally I simply left and never looked back. Now I only meet girls in real life, aka during the day.
So how do you do that as a girl?
More passive approach: dress nicely (meaning make sure people notice you have made an effort into that, just be careful not to overdress as you are not going to the nightclub but rather you are going for a walk in the city, to the supermarket, etc); lose the headphones; project a positive vibe; do not be afraid to giggle and blush when you feel like giggling and blushing; stay away from entitlement or aloofness; and the most important of all, try to make eye contact and smile even just for a fraction of a second when you see someone that you would like to come and talk to you (I know it’s “scary”, but girls would do themselves a huge favour by doing that).
Consider though that most men in the western world have had more than enough rejections in their lives through the platforms we were talking about before (nightlife, social networks and dating apps), and there is quite a lot of social conditioning that approaching someone during the day is “wrong” (just read your message again to understand what I’m talking about). So…
More active approach: go and ask an indirect question which is relevant to the situation, and use your fantasy to extend the interaction for a bit, just enough to give the guy the time to recover from the surprise, understand what’s going on, take the lead of the interaction and eventually ask you out, if he’s interested.
It's not easy of course, Fear of Rejection and Approach Anxiety will become your new uninvited friends, there will be guys not interested in you of course, but it’s doable and by doing this you will take a more active approach to improving your romantic life rather than waiting for some strangers to contact you online.
Concerning your original question, to attract men on social media just post a sexy picture with an aloof face. And good luck with that.
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Those are some really great tips. I actually don't mind approaching guys in real life I just rarely know how to do it. in a good way. But maybe pretending to ask for directions etc could be a way. Thank you
Do you mean dating apps when talking about social media? If so, then you are in for an even bigger disappointment because dating apps are nearly exclusively for hookups and one-night stands or relationships with no strings attached. I would not recommend you to use them unless you want casual or frequent sexual encounters without any further commitments.
I wonder how your profile looks. Perhaps you are cute and attractive but the way you show yourself there is off-putting for certain reason. It is difficult to give you advice without seeing it.
To me, the physical beauty is important as that is the first we all notice about each other. And by beauty, I do not mean she has to look like a top model, but I have to find her attractive - a very subjective opinion. Then I want to see what sort of photos and description/comments she has and writes. Sometimes you see a pretty girl, but then notice her horrible spelling or very childish way of thinking which immediately nullify her attractive features. At least it is like that for me.
Mind you, a woman or man do not have to be attractive to be popular on social media. They can have amazing ideas and people will flock to them. This is why I said it would be great to see your page to be able to give you a better answer. But I also understand privacy concerns, so no worries about it and hope you will find the necessary information among our answers. 😊
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No I mean instagram haha. My profile pic is cute but It's not a very clear.
Oh, Instagram is a strange place! Admittedly, I messaged a few girls I found attractive in the past, yet not a single one has ever responded. I think it happens to most men, so we just ignore Instagram as a potential way of meeting women. Also, Instagram holds a negative reputation among many men: there are too many photoshopped girls around who are so different in reality that we fail to understand why try to seem someone instead of being yourself. I am not saying you are like that.
Why are you so focused on Instagram? I think Facebook could be a better platform for "meeting" as it is both bigger and offers so many more possibilities than Instagram. Although, there are many people who do not consider it to be the best or most appropriate place to approach someone randomly.
I mean everyone looks better in instagram pictures. It's because unless you're really photogenic pictures will either be really bad or really good from a certain angle and a person looks different when you see them in full angle view. I do respond if the guy seems "normal" and is at least in the same country as me.
Oh I can't stand facebook. It's a lot better to find/get to know people there but I just dont like or use it.
Agreed about Facebook. I am not a big fan of it either, but as a platform for social interaction, it is still much better than Instagram. Why don't you like dating or just meeting men in real life, though?
Hm. I am really curious about your Instagram page. If you are attractive and you do seem to be like an interesting person to talk to, then it probably has something to with the style of your photos or certain behaviour in Instagram that makes men seem to avoid you.
I rarely meet new people. When strangers approach me, if they don’t do it in a settle way I find it to be a bit scary. I feel like I have more control over the situation if its via social media. Also I feel like guys I meet in real life seem to be interested for looks. That’s how the last to I met irl have been. Another one seemed to only be in it for the chase and the ego boost.
But online it is even worse because while you may think you are in control, the guy can pretend to be whatever or whomever he wants. So even if you have multiple wonderful online conversations, the person can still turn out to be a jerk in reality. At least in a real meeting, you see what the guy is doing, where he is looking at and what he is aiming at with his words and deeds. Online you can play a very different game, unfortunately. 😕
@Asker, I am curious: what exactly do you want men to do when they see your account on Instagram? Do you want them to just like your photos and comment positively? Or do you want all of them to tell you how beautiful you are and ask you out if they live in your country? Because the more guys you have who follow you there, the more diverse and perhaps annoying all the attention will get. At some point you may just become so fed up that I think you may start ignoring their messages entirely.
My profile is private so they can’t see unless they follow me. No I just want someone to approach me to get to know each other that’s all. I’ve met genuine guys, even went to dating off of instagram and so have a lot of people I know. I don’t how it is in other parts of the world but where I’m from it’s common to find and get to know people on instagram.
Please correct me if I am wrong, I think you wrote somewhere here that you live in Europe. I also live in Europe, but I have not been in a country where it is common to date via Instagram. Could you maybe pm me if you do not want to share your location? I am actually on the verge of deleting some of my social networking accounts as it is becoming overwhelming and time-consuming to scroll through endless streams of photos. Funny thing is that I used to like it before, but in the past couple of years I started thinking that social networks are destroying actual communication turning us into less socially active people. 🤔
Do you think it may be the case here too? Sorry if it makes little sense, I am falling asleep already. Feel free to reply, I'll write back when I get up in a few hours' time!
Yeah I live in Europe. Yeah I agree with what you're saying. I think a lot of people nowadays don't even have the basic social skill of like approaching people you don't know and like chitchat and get to know each other. I'm lucky enough to be in a field of work/studies where this is very important and you kinda just have to do it and get skilled at it.
It is good that you have a job where developed social skills are necessary. Would it not be better to try and meet men who are working in a similar field? It is true that some people meet via social media and end up having loving relationships, children etc. However, in many cases when you contact someone via social media, you do not see the real person but rather an artificial image. Some of us end up fantasising about our online crush and when we meet, we become confused if the person with whom we were talking online does not correspond with the one we met in reality.
So if you are absolutely adamant about using Instagram to attract men, the following may be helpful:
1) Post your photos without using photoshop. If you are a good photographer, you do not need photoshop at all. If you are not good with taking your own pictures, ask someone who knows how to do to do it for you;
2) Leave short description of the photo why it may be important to you (there is always a reason) as it allows the person viewing it to look at it from your own perspective. If they can appreciate it for the same reasons as you, better for you!
3) No need to post only your own photos, especially if they are just selfies. A couple of selfies is more than enough, but usually it is much more interesting to look at a mix of what you are doing (travels, work, leisure etc.) rather than seeing someone's face - no matter how beautiful it is - in every photo.
4) Talk to guys too. Many men appear shy because there is so much more rejection online than in reality. From your comments, I gather you consider yourself to be an attractive woman and while in reality it would be easier to approach you, online the chances that an attractive woman responds to a guy unless he is extremely handsome and/or he is excellent with words are very low. Many do not even try because they will not even receive a response or they will get blocked without any explanation.
5) It seems you tend to delete your photos if I understood correctly from some of the comments here which is not good. You may have a good reason to do it, but to an outsider it may appear as sign of emotional instability since most people do not reshuffle/delete/readd photos.
Well, I am not an Instagram god by any standards, I only have one photo there and use my account to follow some politicians, architects, thinkers and some of my friends who share their projects and ideas with the rest. So what I wrote may not be the best advices under the sun. However, if I were to like a girl's profile there, I would look for the things described above.
Most men in my field are gay. Yeah that’s true it has happened a lot, that the person you meet is different from what you thought but it’s not always bad.
1. I have never photoshopped my pic’s. Might put a filter but that’s it. But most people do look better on their online photos, might be the case for me as well I don’t really know. 2. I usually put a short caption, not too serious sometime funny. 3. Yes I try to avoid that. Like 2 selfies per year is enough. 4. I mean I look good but I’m still pretty average I would say. I actually put a profile pic that’s not too attractive so I can be more approachable. 5. I do delete very often. And I do have emotional instability for sure haha.
Hm. Have you tried advertising your Instagram page via other websites? You can increase the number of men checking it out and therefore, more of them will likely try to contact you. It is the same as going to a party: you automatically increase your chances of seeing more potential partners and revealing yourself to them. Since you can always block/filter them later on, I doubt you have much to lose.
The emotional instability can be a major reason, but do not despair! Sometimes people do not even need to see the person in real life to understand that he or she has emotional issues. Not everybody is prepared to deal with someone else's problems without knowing the person, so they can just decide not to get in touch. If you can, visit a good psychologist who can help you understand the reason for your emotional instability and come out stronger. You will see how much of a positive impact it will have not only on your, but everyone around you.
Haha no I couldn’t do that, I can’t even have my profile public makes me very uncomfortable. Even if I have issues I don’t put it on other people. I know how to deal and I’m usually really happy and positive. But yes I should visit a psychologist, I think everyone should honestly.
Fully agreed. I also think we should all have access to good psychologists since we are teens. Too many hormones, false hopes, damaged mind and then we enter adulthood where things get a lot more serious.
Damn, your case is quite hard, I must say! :P You seem to want to only use Instagram to attract men, but you are unwilling to open up to some additional publicity in order to increase the potential pool of candidates.
What about hobbies? Do you have any that may lead to meeting men?
Haha no I wouldn’t mind meeting someone in real life, it’s just that I want to switch it up a bit now after past two bad experiences I had with guys I met in real life. Believe it or not but you can find out a lot about a person from how they are on socialmedia. You get a backstory and get to see certain patterns etc.
Definitely, you can get certain vibes from a profile, but it still remains a very easy place to fake everything, including the messages. I just hope you will not get hurt even more this way and get locked up in yourself. :/
Be a fake girl who comes off as willing to give it up at the drop of a hat. Put lots of pictures of you with a drink in your hand, or at the gym. Profess to like sports and be "just like one of the guys" etc, even though everyone including you know it's a lie, and congrats, you're just like every other skank on social media that "gets all the guys" which is totally worth it because after all, your self value comes from what online people think of you and not meaningful experiences or relationships in real life.
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Haha what. No I don't want to do that. I do work out a lot etc but my partying days are behind me.
lol I is BETTTER TODAY, bae... I used to Meet and Greet, many a Relationship Back in the day, In Clubs, etc but Now? ONLINE is the Way to Go, Have a Fiance from The UK Now and was even Married to a Muslim out in Egypt who Found me on FB, Years ago. xxoo
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Haha how did that work out? But I agree I've had better experiences with guys I've met online than in real life.
Probably a social media page that is about a hobby/activity you enjoy.
I recommend hobby/activity groups, friendship groups and voluntary work as good places to meet mature men in real life. So it follows that the best way to meet these men online is the online equivalents.
The type of man you are looking for generally will not add a women he hasn't met, let alone follow that up by asking her out. You can try adding men yourself but you won't know who they are until you add them, which could be interpreted as expressing interest.
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Like on facebook? I don’t have a Facebook. But you’re right the type of men I’m into are not the type to add random women on social media. I will definitely try the hobby thing
Normally, just put up cute pictures of yourself, that'll automatically attract the guys.
But woah woah wait, you'd mostly be attracting creeps and perverts, otherwise you'd attract actual nice lovely guys who aren't that physically attractive, it's a one in a thousand chance to actually attract your dream guy on social media, or online im general.
Bars and clubs are the wrong places too, find some place where people are actually more likely to be educated and cultured, which gives them less chances of being thirsty whores, work your mind!
I don't get it, are you rushing things here? It sounds like you are.
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I am rushing a bit. I took a long break from dating and now just got into it again recently. I will be really busy in the late fall so I want to take advantage of my free time now.
Sorry but rushing into dating and relationships is the riskiest thing you can do, it might ruin good chances for you and might hurt you and other people, it's okay to seek, but rushing is reckless and mostly has negative effects on everyone in the process. If you rush it, you're much more likely to get a decent partner, the less patient you are the worse your partner's qualities are gonna be.
I'm not trying to rush the relationship and dating part. I want to meet and talk to guys now so I can have someone worth my time to invest in further, and get to know each other etc.
You may want to search your local charity organizations, churches, political rallies, etc. for guys to meet on a deeper level. Worst case scenario you might actually help people out other than yourself. What you will get is more local friends who have friends. You may not meet Mr. Right but you might meet his friend and when he comments on a picture with you in it, then one thing could lead to another.
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Sound good but usually I’m too busy but I could try now that I have more free time.
I think it will help a lot if you identify the kind of guy you want and then focus on those guys. Otherwise, you're going to get a lot of noise and not much signal. Me, when I was single, I had a list of must-haves, nice-to-haves, and can live without's, and then I went out looking for that. I didn't settle for anything else. If you don't know what you want, then learn about yourself and what you really like first.
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Oh I definitely know what I like and don’t and also what I’m looking for. What I do lack is skills. As women we’re raised to be submissive, let the ball be in the mans court and not be the one to chase. And now when I am looking for someone I just don’t have enough experience. A man my age has courted, chased and got the interest of many women. So he’s more experienced. But I’ve never had to do that which is not good for me.
Unless you are an elite girl that attracts elite men, it is your responsibility to make the first move. That is because men (except elite men) have been rejected by girls their entire lives. Therefore, they are highly unlikely to risk another rejection unless the girl indicated that she is receptive. That doesn't imply you need to ask; just give the guy some attention and an opening to approach you. And, don't play hard to get if you not an elite girl because non-elite guys will take that as rejection and look elsewhere.
@DWornock What is an elite girl and elite man? I think everyone should think highly of themselves. Not be arrogant of course and stay humble, but if you're a good accomplished person you are elite.
Elite are the top 5% maybe 10% in desirability. The elite of the elite include movie stars, cheerleaders, models, good looking doctors, Olympicans, professions athletes. I a graduate electrical engineer. I believe that make me accomplished, but I'm not elite.
When building a profile. Use a recent picture of yourself. Something that you like. But is not overly reveling. Best to be flirty and yet leave a bit of mystery as well.
List hobbies and interests that you like. Not just what you think a guy or type of guy would like.
Id scrap the social media, embrace equality, and just try talking or asking guys out. As a man, I've come to the conclusion women are on social media (much like they go to night clubs or bars) for attention and validation. Just going to find the “creeps” there. I've also almost hit a few females filming themselves and walking out in traffic. So as a male, don't think to highly of the social media females. I think men have come to the conclusion unless you are Lucifer (6 pack, 6 figures, 6ft tall), approaching a female on social media can easily be taken as “harassment”. So if you must use social media, just be blunt and say “i like you, lets go out”. Don’t play games.
Plus have outdoor activity, like sports, go to concert,... so you will meet other people who have the same interests not just sit on the couch watching Netflix and swippin tinder or ig... you won't find anyone like this
If all the men you meet in a club or bar or looking for hookup, you are sending the wrong vibes or else you are most attracted to guys looking for a hookup or both.
Men seeking a relationship be it a girlfriend or a wife will search most everywhere and that includes going to bars and clubs. Granted there are men in bars and clubs looking for a hookup and almost all men are willing to hookup if they find the girl sexually attractive and agreeable. However, that in no way implies that they are not there seeking a relationship. And, if you are willing to give them a chance instead of the obvious really hott guys that likely you are most attracted to, it is easy to tell the difference.
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Well I'm rarely in a club to begin with. Actually haven't stepped foot in a club in years now. Usually at bars or lounge bars. And I don't know what types of vibes I'm sending because I rarely even drink. And true most guys that would approach me are the hookup types but I don't know what to do about that.
No I'm not attracted to the obvious hot guys at all. I'm all about personality and I prefer the smart and kind guy that can carry a good conversation. Or the more artsy type.
That is the politically correct response. However, several times I went to a club and other places where young men and women go to met and just sit and watched. What I observered, if they didn't already know each other, most of the young men and 100% of the young women acted as if looks is the only thing.
Hmm my theory is that the very attractive males have more courage to approach women, which is why it may seem like that's the type of men women gave a chance. Of course I would have to find a guy decent looking to give chance/find attractive. But I do give guys that don't seem attractive at first a chance and then when I start liking them I find them attractive. And sometimes it's the opposite, someone I go out with because I thought they looked good but then we didn't connect or he didn't really have a good personality in my opinion.
Naturally very attractive males have more courage. They are almost never rejected which make it extremely easy to have courage. Actually it is not courage; it is the knowledge based on experience that there is no risk of rejection. Young women are extremely easy for them. They snap the fingers and the girls drop their panties. They are hott; therefore they are confident so naturally that combination is what attracts you.
It is politically correct to say "I place personallity before looks." Therefore, every girls says that and every girl judges a guy first by his looks and/or his money if he is wealthy.
As a first impression of course it's what we can see with our eyes. But every girl finds different things to be attractive. For me it's a mans smile, how he speaks and carries himself. Believe me I've met so many super good-looking men that I found to be unattractive. And then I've been in love with men that to me are super attractive but people around me would question my taste.
Actually, what I'm doing is not working. Often we quickly find we are not compatible; but, about as often it is because the girl can or believes she can do better, and will quickly drop me for hotter guy. Maybe he just fucks her, but since she dumped me, even if I could, I'm not inclined to try with her again. So, I've about decided that what I need to do is lower my standards a bit and look for a girl that will think she is doing well.
I believe, that is what you should do too. That’s even more so for you than for me because, at your age, your desirability is dropping rapidly. There is little drop for a girl from 20 to 25, but a big drop from 25 to 30. There is a reason for this saying. At 20 they sell it, at 30 they give it away, at 40 they buy it. Don’t wait until you are 30 and have to give it away.
Well first off your anonymous so even if a guy wanted to meet you he can't. Every guy isn't gonna be comfortable talkin to you in an open forum. Secondly be honest about what your looking for and third post a pic... These things would definitely help you meets guys
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I'm not looking to meet someone on here, It needs to be someone that lives in the same city as me obviously.
It's not always about looks for me personally. If has an interesting profile with interesting topics etc then I would message the person to find out more. Maybe you have something on your page that I find similar to myself or just interesting that I would think "oh I wouldn't mind finding out more about this girl". I normally wouldn't approach a girl through social media such as Facebook however if I had met or was chatting via a dating website for a while then I would send a request through social media, I don't know why though. I probably haven't helped you
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That's because you're probably a mature man. Guys my age haven't reached that level of maturity. Also my generation is a bit different. Not that you're old or anything but I grew up on this social media nonsense.
That's true your generation not that you are much younger than myself but you will have grown up a bit more on social media. I think society now encourages more social media than talking traditionally. I have a friend who has a 18 year old daughter who would text each other from an upstairs room rather than talking.. I appreciate the not being old part though 😂 hopefully however you get some slightly more mature lads trying to find out more about you 🙂
Honestly it’s just posting good looking photos of yourself. Unfortunately, you probably won’t attract many men’s attention without posting photos that are somewhat revealing. When doing so you are definitely attracting guys who want only one thing. It’s hard to get a genuine guy on social media trust me.
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Yeah that might be true. I’m more modest on social media than I am in real life. I just don’t like posting too sexy or revealing photos. It makes me uncomfortable.
I've never done this as I just naturally assume right away (based on comments all the time from women) that this is just unwanted (and even if I did, I assume it will just be ignored completely). So, she would have to message me if she was interested.
I don't, I meet them in real life or it's a complete accident online; I'm just too old for that shit at this point, just walk up and talk to a woman. If she say no, guess what? She's dead to you regardless, delete the temp files and clear up storage space; nexxt.
Or you could legit just message a guy you think you like and take some initiative
Wait, so you're expecting random guys you've never met to just randomly start following you and messaging you because they saw some pictures of you on the internet? Isn't that the type of stuff that sets off alarm bells in women's minds? Pretty sure those guys get ignored.
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Haha yes. That’s how I’ve met a lot guys. And that’s how some of my friends have met their current boyfriend or husband. But I agree it is a bit strange when you put it like that. If they’re complete randoms, like from a different country etc. But if they live in the same city or close by it’s not that weird.
Sure, but then he'd probably word it as, "hey I saw you at such and such and didn't get the opportunity to meet you. Blah blah blah etc etc" and then say whatever he wanted to. I imagine this happens at conferences where a lot is going on and people don't necessarily have the time to meet everyone they want to, but there's at least common interest on the table between them. That's totally different than a guy adding girls randomly on social media who he's never met, and have no commonalities with other than he saw them on facebook, they live in the same city, and he wants to bang them.
Yeah of course. But since we socialise so much on social media, sometimes more than in real life, it's become the new normal. Obviously it's not all that good but when you're so used to it, it seems more strange when someone randomly approaches you in real life.
social media? well your throwing a wrench in your spokes if you think that's going to result in anything serious or lasting. I suppose be friends with his friends, obviously try to get to know him in real life and he may send friend request, or you could send it at that point. generally I'd think it would be a bit weird to get a random friend request without explaining why you did it, something like "hey your cute, what do you think of me?" I don't know, good luck
Well, She liked some of my pics, I sent her a friend request & then it started. She said she was looking for a lifetime relationship I was looking for the same thing, I proposed her & she said Yes... Later on she started ignoring me & a couple weeks later Just got vainshed. I found out she liked someone else's pictures on fb & started dating him. So, I was cheated & hurt in a very bad manner. If you're not looking to do the same then, like somw pics of a guy you like & it'll start
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Oh hope you’re better now :/ I don’t know where or how to find guys haha. But this method you suggest usualky works. I just haven’t found someone yet, hoping someone will find me
🤣🤣I am at my best now... Cuz I know how to Love myself now. But Yeah, someone'll find you then... & Don't know if you like it but looks doesn't even matter. Character does
Haha glad to hear. I completely agree but men do tend to be more superficial than women. I look for personality, intellect and just an all round good person.
Cool ! Anyways, sometimes best is to wait. What I do is make good friend first, then take it slow. You should try it. Cuz if they are pervs, they'll be despo. But Yeah, friends is something you can be with anyone
@ClubRockerArun Welcome to the club. I meet this girl:
She appeared and I believe she was very enthused and tells me she will never cheat. Two weeks later, she is contacted by a guy she deems more desirable and after a series of messages, phone calls, and video chats, she goes to Houston to meet him, sends me a photo, fuck him, and dumps me. No doubt she told him, "I’ll never cheat," but she is looking for an upgrade and, if she finds one, she’ll will dump him.
The only way to keep a girl is to be one of the most desirable guys she can get. Even then, more likely than not, she will cheat because guys hotter than you will date down to fuck. Of course you will never know, because she won't pounce until she’s sure, and the hotter guys she is attracted to are only looking for a quick fuck.
I don't do that and think it is silly when guys do. It is so desperate. I've never requested a follow nor have I added a girl out of the blue with the intention to hit on them. The only time I add her to flirt is if I know them in person or if they initiate it first and I agree to the arrangement.
It would de[end on your goals. Women can attract 10x as many men as other way around. But 99% of those are not what you want! You can spend a lot of your days trying to sort them out.
Groups of people with similar interests can help narrow the field.
Consider a more focused location. If your a bit kinky try sites like fetlife. com where you can narrow your search to people who share common interest.
Your profile has to be public, you have to be posting things with hashtags that I follow. I wouldn't just scroll through randos and add them.
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True. I usually make it public when I post a new picture, but i make it private again after a week or so. Having a public profile makes me uncomfortable.
I rarely do 😩 ok sure this past spring I met two guys but both live too far away. I’m too busy with work and studies. At uni most guys are a lot younger and men in my field are usually gay.
Yeah I’ve meet good guys and bad guys on social media. Difference is it’s easier to control the situation and on social media a guy has to have a conversation and guys looking for a hookup usually don’t waste time on that. Whilst at bars usually men go out to hook up
Why are you waiting for people to come to you? Girls have the advantage in the dating game. If you send out enough messages you will get a responce. Try it out and if I'm wrong I'm wrong but i don't think i am.
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I don’t know how to find guys on instagram. Like how do you go about.
Sorry I couldn't tell you I don't use instagram. All i know is you have the power in the dating relm. If a guy thinks you are attractive and he likes your personality even a little bit, you already have him in the palm of your hand basically.
I don't think instagram will be getting you any dates it's just used for keeping on touch with old friends tbh I mean at least I think so (that's what I use it for). Get on tinder or some dating app and you'll meet lots of people
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I've met guys on instagram before. That's how a lot of people I know meet other people as well. I feel like tinder and such is for hook-up?
Tinder is used for that by some people but there are quite a few serious people on there as well. Plus it’s fun talking with people. On Instagram you don’t know where they’re from, what they’re like, and whether or not they’re single or even looking to be with someone. I feel you could totally catch them off guard
In my experience, most women dont like to be contacted via social media unless you're in the top 1% of the world's wealthy, which is ridiculous but is the way it is. So meeting women in person is the only way to meet women these days. But that's hard too because they're only certain places women like to be approached.
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What does being wealthy have to do with it. All women I know that are single want to be approached on social media. And most would rather be approached by a stranger via social media than in real life because you can kind of get a feel of the person trough their feed.
That's the problem with social media. Women judge you before you go in a date rather than judge you on a date. I'd rather meet a woman in person, setup a date, and then be rejected in person than rejected online and never learn what I did wrong. Social media makes dating easier for women but harder for men. I dont do online dating anymore because women are too picky and judgmental.
@MusicMayhem I never ghost. My two rules are never reject without actually saying it straight out, and in a nice way and never leave anyone on read. Unless he's being disrespectful or threatening.
@Twenty2 Haha what you think I care? This guy asked to see my profile picture to help me with it and then wanted to start talking. I said he's way too young for me and he's doing all of this. Super childish.
The problem is we don't want to meet on social media unless we are reconnecting with someone from the past. The reason for this is there are spammers all around 9 times out of 10 you meet a girl online they are catfishing you so why even bother?
Maybe you should try actual dating sites? Or try meeting guys outside bars? Check meetup. com for activities that interest you. Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity or similar charitable organizations that attract guys.
Very very easy be straightforward about what you're looking for and make the first move it's a different Century we live in and there's nothing wrong with being a little dominant
This might sound old fashioned but try joining a church and becoming active in its activities. There is a really good chance of finding a good guy that way
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I’m not Christian. But meeting someone trough some type of activity thing sounds like a good idea.
Haha I agree with that. I don’t have the “all guys are terrible” mentality since I know how to choose them. And if I do chose wrong it his true colours usually shows within 2 months.
I have a follow up question... do you date to date or when picking a man do you enter into the relationship thinking to spend the rest of your life with them?
I date to get to know. I’m not the type to enter a relationship just like that. But if we do end up together there’s no point being in a relationship if I already know I absolutely can’t have a future with this person. But I’m usually the one not wanting to get into a relationship to quickly. And one of the reasons I left my ex is because he wanted to propose when we only had been together less than a year.
Oh I am for sure. I also have intimacy issues. But I have the tools to work trough it now. I’ve learned to be vocal and speak up, say it at it is. Also talk about it before hand. Last guy I was intimate with made sure we talk it out before doing anything. He asked about my fears, what I like and do not like, and let it be on my terms. Like he made me feel like I was the one in charge, and I literally was. That was the only time I’ve felt 100% comfortable being intimate with a man.
@Pulimuli I could try it. I could drag out the texting bit of it, because if he’s looking for a quick hook-up he might not want to waste time on texting and such. Maybe that’s an age thing? Not saying you’re old but most of people my age find dates on instagram.
I don't think normal social media is a good place to get people to approach you on, maybe a dating app would better suit your needs, just make your barriers and expectations clear.
When I see a girl that is very wise and has a unique perspective on the world, someone that isn't just another npc robot falling in line, that makes her stand out from everyone else and I want to talk to her.
Get it? She doesn't want to accept love from just one man. It's not enough attention for her. She wants millions of men showering her with attention and compliments.
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No I don't. Otherwise I would've had a public account with seductive photos. And I wouldn't have to ask this question. My dm's would be full.
post your picture they'll find you. you have more chance the i don't anyway. i've been on FB for many years, and only had one girl in 2010 try to talk to me
Id love to tell you where to go to find real people who want a partner but pretty sure no place exists if you do find it please let me know lol. Meanwhile ill be over at the bar looking for one nighter.
If they have comments from friends and/or family. If they are taggad in other peoples pictures, and if they have picture with other people where they are tagged as well. If they occasionally post to insta story, of themselves or with others. Usually the guys I've accepted live around my area so they is often someone in they're follows or circle that I know of. Also if I do start talking to someone I do look them up on facebook, just to see if they have one. Usually if someones faking on instagram they won't have a facebook account which they created more than let's say 4 years ago.
You need to begin to talk with the one that appears to be interesting for you. Keep the conversation going in a interesting way for the other one, ask about thing's, ask personal thing's on what he have said and answered, especially about thing's he appears to be extra eager about when you talk to the person, the more personal the questions become the deeper it becomes the deeper connection get created. Also own the silence that many begins to feel awkward, don't feel awkward it is contagious on a subconscious level. Be thrilled about what you ask about even be interested to know. let him ask and do the same process with you, don't be irritated or annoyed.
Doesn't make up thing's to fitt in as the perfect one. Be honest. Don't be afraid of answering wrong or negative or for that matter disagreeing dislikes. they are actually a positive thing for building deep connection with feelings.
Avoid to talk about politics. in the beginning try to avoid to talk about exes that thing's are unfair you have been been treated bad, gotten in contact with uncomfortable people gotten dick pics and so on or any other poor you. Try to avoid to turn it sexual sexting and so on in the beginning. it gives for the majority a subconscious signal that you only are after sex and playing around, not interested in anything serious. (it tends to create sex dynamic relationship)
When you don't have more time to talk say it and why, also that you would like to continue what you two was doing next time. You have to do that to create real trustworthiness, also because majority of female's use the same approach without saying they would like to continue what you two was doing to blow them off.
If you don't want to continue with someone just say it directly to that person without any exuses or painting up a whole story. Just say you two are a mismatch and which him/her good luck with next one what he/she are after. If that person have problems with rejection just take it with a pinch of salt and don't reply. some has problems with it and react in funny ways without really meaning what they did say if they are mean.
Don't try to prove you are something. you automatically prove yourself for some by being yourself and showing interest even if that is to take initiative, even taking a lot of it all the time even if the other one doesn't take first initiative with things or at all in the beginning un till you two have the kind of relationship you are after no matter if it's just friends or more. (sometimes do we need to lead it and make thing's happen)
Don't wait for guys to come to you. Start to message people.
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I don’t mind sending a friend request but I do think the guy should be the one to message first. If it were a social setting, let’s say dinner party at a friends place I would not mind making the first move.
Well if you think guys goota message you first you will probably never get what you want. See with me I rarely do cuz I get accused of being a toxic male and that I'm only talk to a girl to get nudes or something like you don't even know me y assume these things because I'm male. I'm a good guy looking for a relationship
"I do think the guy should be the one to message first." Why? Does it have any benefits for you? What is the difference between the social setting and an online message?
@TavionRiley I wouldn’t mind if it weren’t for the fact that I know some guys see you as a “slut” if you do that. Even worse is that some guys end up telling others and now you’re suddenly that girl that slides into guys dm’s. This is the type of culture that exists where I live.
It doesn’t benefit me at all, it’s mostly because a lot of guys label you as a “slut” if you do that. And I can’t know which one won't. Last time I did it it didn’t end well.
@TavionRiley It really is. Well you’re not a sexist. Unfortunately sexism and slut shaming is still very much real even in countries that to the outside world is progressive and modern.
what... you makes absolutely no sense. the shit we have to go through rejections, shit attitude and whatnot just to ask you out is definitely not easy.
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