Does my friends with benefits want more? Confusing guy..

[Anonymous]

I have been friends with benefits with my friend for about a month. It was my idea and everything. It started out just hanging out every once in awhile, and only for an hour or so at a time. He would tell me how he felt and everything and that he cared. He'd try cuddling then I'd back away. After that, couple weeks later went by and he didn't really talk to me or anything. Week after he gets back to me and asks to hang out again. This time I spend the night and his friends end up calling me his girlfriend and smiling and joking around. He's really touchy feeling and cuddly, the sex is incredibly passionate and everything. He says something about moving forward (he's a bit tipsy when he says it) and mentions Valentine's day, and I say it'd probably be better and not so awkward if we keep things the way they are. Then asks me if the number of guys I have been with has changed or anything and if I've ever had a guy make love to me like he does to me. Another two weeks go by after that,. He then texts me to hang out during the afternoon. I agree to, and once again he's super sweet, cuddly, and everything. We have sex and its's super passionate and romantic,. The whole time he calls me his, that I'm his equal, we work together in a partnership, and keeps calling me baby and everything. He keeps saying I'm amazing and even brought up saying it's "okay" if I were to ever tell him during sex or just in general "i love you". He said his friends still always ask about me when I am not around if we are official or not He always mentions that we have something going on and there are obviously feelings there. He has said the past couple of times we have hung out that he likes me, and finds my body attractive. And that any guy would be lucky to go out with me. When I talk about other guys he just seems to get jealous or mad. He holds my hand and kisses my forhead too . We even hang out and he ALWAYS pays. He says he has not been with any other girls, and that I am all that and he doesn't want anyone else but me. But if that's the case? Why does he never text me during the week? He asks me the same thing too, but I don't wanna come across as clingy. ANd if we're friends with benefits shouldn't we be having sex all the time instead of just a few nights a week? My friends alll think he likes me, but honestly I am lost. Any ideas here?

Updates

+1 y

Oh by the way, he is my ex. We dated for a few months in the past but broke up because I was kinda a bitch to him and that made him an asshole. He has also mentioned going on dates and double dates with me and always willing to pay. WTF?

[Purfectkitty08]

I'd be more careful,if I were you.He makes a lot of references to how hot you are and your body.Do you and him do anything besides have sex? I'd back off on being FWBs and see how your friendship develops.Men can seem like they want a relationship when their getting booty from you.It isn't always what they really want.Being FWB's can be emotional,it's basically a boyfriend or girlfriend filler til you find someone else that you want a deeper relationship with.I'm not saying it can't develop into that.I've seen it happen before.I would just not base his feelings based on him being touchy or sleeping with you a lot.Doesn't mean he wants you as his girl...could mean he's just getting something out of this without the strings.Some Men often will tell girls things like I love you,just to keep the girl interested.They even will pay for dinner when you go out.Doesn't mean he wants you as his girlfriend though.I'd talk to him about how you feel and see what he says.Just be careful not to fall hard for him yet.

[Asker]

Thanks. Well he's been texting me a whole lot more now, wants to study together, go to a concert, and we really don't have sex that often. Just maybe once a week or ever couple of weeks.And last time, I was the one to push for it. he just wanted to cuddle and everything more so I'm not really sure.

[Purfectkitty08]

well it's a better sign that he wants to do things with you :)

[rachiee]

He obviously cares a lot about you and it sounds like he wants to take things further than just being friends with benefits. You can't judge anything off of him not texting you during the week because you don't either and he's brought that up. If you like him and want something more from him then you need to stop being stubborn and text him. Open up more to him. There's no rules as to how often FWB hook up, its when things are convenient and both people want it. I think that if you don't want to have anything further with him then maybe its in both of your best interests to end things. The last thing you want is him falling for you even more than he already has.

[Asker]

Oh trust me. I LIKE him a ton, I'm just afraid to tell him, because what if he doesn't feel the same way? And things may end? And what if he is just saying all of this to keep me around you know? I just don't want to open up then everyting get completely messed up, and we can't even be friends anymore. Honestly, I love him lots. And I did text him one time the other night. It was a Saturday night at 10 pm. I said "hey you" and he never got back to me. He did then get back to me on facebook though.

[rachiee]

Trust me, he cares. Its obvious. I highly doubt he would take it the wrong way if you told him how you felt. And if he does then that's a good thing because you need to move on from him and find someone else instead of wasting your time on him and just being his hook up buddy and that's all. I think you should tell him. Don't put down your guard completely just yet. But its okay to take a risk to be happy.

[woodbridge]

he obviously wants to get back together, the whole point of friends with benifits is that you DONT care, you DONT say I love you, you DONT have any feelings, its striclty physical, nd everything you said is the exact opposite of that so yeah he definitely does want more

[Asker]

Yes. I think you are right. The other day he pulled me in to start cuddling. He turned on the radio in the background and it was train's "marry me." We just sat there and held each other and looked into each others eyes. It was so passionate and romantic. We did end up having sex a minute or two into that song but it was amazing. I really felt l was married to him or something. As the song ended, we both held each other close and came at the same time. It was like something u'd see in a movie.

[versusxiii]

It seems ya'll have a pretty complicated past between you two. I think you two just need to sit down and have a real heart to heart to see exactly where you stand and what you actually want out of this. It is impossible to have friends with benefits with no feelings to me personally, but especially with someone who you used to date and you clearly have feelings for. This is nearly the EXACT opposite of FWBs lol.

Maybe this is an opportunity to try and mend the wounds of yesterday and start anew tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Men say this isn't true (they call it games) but this is a prime example. Men want you more when you don't want them. Men love a woman they can have a fun, no relationship pressure relationship with and if you add good sex that makes it worse lol.I did exactly the same thing.We broke up, stayed friends, then friends with benefits and then he wanted me back, I held off for a month and then we got back together and broke up again 6 months later over the exact same issue we had before lol. So really think about the importance of what it was that ended it the first times cause that didn't go away. I just wasted 6 more months that I couldve been with someone else or happily alone lol.

[Asker]

The main reasons we broke up was because of me. I had some major trust issues and insecurity problems that we needed to work on. He became an asshole when I became insecure. I made a comment the other day that "well things didn't work out with us" and he said "well obviously we are working them out now." now that we know each other better and aren't fb official or anything, we are getting along great. We never really fight anymore. We do and act exactly the same as when we wre in a relationship

[Opinion Owner]

Because you're not in a relationship. The pressure will go back to the way it was when you make it official. Things don't just go away because your relationship status changed. You guys having been doing much talking since now the focus is different and you have been talking about the insecurities that were there in the first place to resolve those. Not saying it couldn't work but friends with benefits is not going to resolve it.

[Opinion Owner]

Women always think that we can get a different result even though we do the same thing. To men who think logically) the issues you had before are worked out because now you guys are cool. However for the woman it is different as soon as you get back together and get put in a similar situation(s) as before that caused you to end it you will react the same way and he will do the same things cause you never dealt with it.

[brunette_barbie]

maybe he is too scared to get involved in a full blown relationship if you weren't nice to him before. so he is making the most of it at the moment, and the fact that you're not in a relationship, if his feelings get too deep he can easily walk away and not feel 'guilty'.

when I had a friends with benefits, he would call me his girlfriend and his friends would too, this confused me a bit at the time.

you should ask him straight out, are we bedfriends or exclusive to each other. good luck! :)

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he has feelings for you and wants to be in a real relationship with you, but you are the one who doesn’t want it to be serious?