He cancelled our first date. Should I just forget about him?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy this past weekend that just moved to the area from Mexico for med school. We were supposed to meet up for drinks tonight, but he cancelled because people from school are getting together and he feels like he should get to know them better, which I understand. I'm not mad, but it does hurt my feelings a little bit, which I told him.

He sent me a text that said, "dont be sad, we can always meet any other day. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings:( I'll make it up to you" I told him that it makes it seem like he isn't all that interested, and he said that if that were the case he wouldn't even be talking to me. He said he would try to swing by wherever I am tonight to say hi.

Should I even bother with him? I liked him, but I really don't like being cancelled on. Thanks for reading!

[Anonymous]

ok. When you are dating someone, there are gonna be times when it can get cancelled and the fact that he gave you an explanation should have made it more understanding like you said you had. So why does it hurt your feelings the one time he cancels? Things can come up some times and to think the worse that he is not interested because of that, because you feel like he should have not gone is not logical at all. he has a life obviously and he didn't have to tell you anything but he did. You feeling this way can only mean 2 things: Either your needy or think negatively in situations that don't go the way you planned. if you want to keep this guy interested, your gonna have to stop that because no guy likes a girl who seems needy, and he'll start to see that if you keep this up esp when its a one time thing that happened. Now I can see if he has been canceling on several dates or standing you up then yeah you know he is not that into you but this guy had something that came up with old class roomates and wanted to take a raincheck. You should not had felt like your feelings were hurt at all. Also, never ever tell a guy that you don't think he is interested because it makes you look like you have no confidence even if he knows your right. you just don't say that because that can turn some guys off. Now, everythings fine, ok? He just wants to hang with old buddies tonight to catch up. be glad that he liked you enough to tell you when he doesn't owe you any explanation whatsoever. When yall meet up again, don't even mention it and just enjoy his company. Don't let your feelings get the best of you in situations and let dating play out, let it flow, and see what happens. Again, its not gonna always go the way you want.

[Asker]

Wow, thank you for your detailed response, and you pretty much nailed me and the whole situation right on the head. I'm going to suggest one night next week and not mention this whole thing ever again. thank you so much!

[Opinion Owner]

Well I been there before and it took me awhile to learn what not to do. And your welcome.

[Anonymous]

Cancellations are never a good thing, but they tend to mean less when a guy cancels than when a girl does. Why, you ask? Because generally, the guy is the one taking the lead in setting up the date to begin with. You'll know he isn't interested in you if he doesn't set up the date. It's pretty easy. If he sets it up and then cancels, he'll set up another one if he's interested.

When girls cancel, it's a bigger deal because generally they weren't the ones who set it up to begin with. So a lot of times the cancellation means that she isn't interested in you and just didn't feel up to turning down the date to begin with. In the early days of dating, if a girl cancels on me and doesn't immediately propose another time that works for her, I'll assume she isn't interested and probably won't ask again. In your case, you don't NEED to ask again because he will.

[Brandan_Cromartie]

Women are fickle creatures...

For you, don't bother, because he's a med student and that will make him busy and you'll get a few more cancellations during your relationship, guaranteed.

[martyfellow]

You'll give up on him just because of this, which you admit is reasonable? Plan on staying single?

[Shaun]

Doctor in training? Yeah, those guys are a dime a dozen. Next!