Girls, is play-fighting/wrestling a form of flirting?

[Anonymous]

Some women seem to start punching, kicking or grappling guys out of the blue or guys they are dating. Why do you think this is done and is it just a form of flirting? Do you personally do this and if so why?

[btbc92]

It's not. Flirting is with sexual intent. We do just have fun and enjoy ourselves with you. If a person is flirting with you, it would be more deliberate and you would know it and feel it because it's extremely obvious. I don't flirt. Don't like flirting. And will never do that to any guy just to flirt. If I do any of that, it's because he is my friend/family and I trust him. I can't do that with people I am not close to. Plus, it would be rude and he may not like that. So I am considerate of their people. That includes females. If a girl does that in dating, obviously that is who she is dating. Their friendship is bonded beyond just mere connects.

[Asker]

Well I've heard some others say it is flirting so I guess it depends on the person. But what do you find fun about it if it's not flirting for you? Just a way to get physical and get some exercise I guess?

[btbc92]

No. It's because I am having actual fun with the person. I am sometimes and aggressive and competitive person. I like to test my strength with others and I suppose I am somewhat of a tomboy, but is feminine. I am not one for makeup, clothes, etc. I like doing practical stuff that guys do. So it is also mg way of bonding with my make friends and family members. None of that crazy stuff. There's a good reason why I have the kind of friends that I have that appreciates me and supports me. Because I'm not like other girls. And it's not just a cliche staying, but it's the truth. I don't believe in flirting, I don't believe in less than, as a person who believes in God standards, I don't find it okay to be playing around with a guy feelings. If he doesn't like that I'm doing that, then as much as it will hurt me because that's how I emotionally express love to people that I care about. I will respectfully pull back, and respect his boundaries. You can't listen to other people with that stuff. Because that's how you cause miscommunication. And it can end up hurting your friendship and the relationship you have with that person. Again, floating is manipulation. And one thing I hate is being manipulated. So why would I would do onto others that I don't want them to myself? I'm just overall telling you that while most girls do it, not everybody do. So you can't judge us all the same way. Just like not every guy that do things for you is trying to get into your pants. He may generally love you, but it's not looking for a relationship. That is still somebody that loves and cares about me.

[btbc92]

Besides, do not children play fight and wrestle? It's innocent. What matters is the intent behind it. So while not everybody holds Good Intentions, that's why you have to be careful who you invite in your life. You don't want to be involved with a person, who is not sincere and genuine. As I said before. That's not something I would just do to everybody or with everybody. I tend to like to keep my hands to myself.

[btbc92]

With my male friends and family members. *

[btbc92]

If you feel that she is crossing your boundaries, had that talk with her. Just tell her how you feel about it, what makes you feel in general, see how she feels about certain things, and just take things from there. That way she knows what you like and don't like, and you know what she likes and don't like. Because if you have certain things that you believe is reserved for a relationship, then she should at least know that so she won't cross those lines. Because the last thing you don't need it to accuse her of wrongdoing when she maybe just being innocent. You would know if she's doing it on purpose because she's making it blatantly obvious. Do not be afraid to speak up.

[Asker]

So do you regularly initiate wrestling with random male friends? And you'd say to you that's not a form of flirting at all? How do you usually do versus your opponents as you said you're competitive? Do you care about winning/losing?

But like you said, you have to admit most girls would do it with flirty intentions even if you don't. But you're right, sometimes play-fighting can be totally innocent. And to almost all guys, they would easily get distracted if a girl was trying to grapple with them if you know what I mean.

[btbc92]

I don't. They tend to do that with me. As I said before I am not the type of person that would actually initiate physical touch with anybody. Because again, I don't want to disrespect the person. And I don't like to assume. As I said before. Flirting is with the intent of being sexual. And I do not believe in doing anything like that. Regardless of who it is. What I mean by competitiveness I'm saying with anything in life I'm just an overall a person that likes to achieve to do great things. I am not a wrestler or anything like that. But that I am saying that regardless what I am challenge with, I don't back out from a challenge that I know I can win. But other than that, I am just having fun with that person. Is nothing else about that. I just say you just have to be careful with who you do that with parent because you can give the person the wrong idea. Now if that person doesn't care, and you do, that's why you got to speak up about it. It in actuality is usually the guy that initiates that because it's meant to be flirting. Girls just tend to go along with it because they understand that is flirting, unless it's something that they themselves don't agree with.

[Asker]

So you agree for guys it's often a form of flirting but then you also said you'll still go along with it because you're competitive, like strength tests and don't back down? And also believe you can win even if it's a guy challenging you? Do you often win when you wrestle with guys?

Like if you and I just met or knew each other for a short while and I said "wanna wrestle" you'd do it? Just wondering what makes you confident. I do agree it can be super fun just as an activity.

[btbc92]

I say we're pretty matched. I used to lift weights when I was a kid so I can basically handle it. Just can't anymore because I have health problems and suffered wigh weight and stuff. So I would be scared to do any of that now. But no. As eager as I would to actually give it a shot, I personally would not, because again, it may present itself as a different message that I would not want sent. And at the same time if I don't know what his intent is, I don't want to leave him on. That would have to be with somebody I knew for years not for a few months.

[btbc92]

I would rather discuss boundaries very early in the Friendship so that way we won't end up with that problem. But when I knew my friends well, of course I would wrestle. All my friends both male and female all Wrestle with each other. But that's just how much I had a healthy and relationship with them growing up.

[Roseinbloom]

It all depends upon the person and how they take it, is that their personality etc