Girls who complain about Tinder matches who just say "hi", what is the ideal opener you desire?

[TheAnonInTheMachine]

I try to make every opener custom and bring some creativity and originality. Sometimes though, it is very hard. If all you have are selfies, sometimes I might find something in the background to use as inspiration, but many times there is nothing. There are ways to maintain creativity even in these cases but it really is hard.

I've seen a lot of women who complain about matches not saying anything or just saying "hi". Fair enough. But what is the way you would actually desire to be approached?

[White_Widow]

For me this is a difficult one to answer since I'm not active on any dating site. But people pm me regularly on here as well so I'll go with that.

I'll talk to everyone and give everyone an honest chance no matter how the first "hi" comes into my inbox. But I won't deny I do like creativity, because it would let me know someone took the time to read my profile or check my pictures or read my questions, they made an effort which gives me the feeling that the person talking to me is genuinely interested and wants to get to know me. But that's me, doesn't say much about other girls/women.

But for the above to work I should also mention that someone needs something to show for on their profile or else it's pretty hard to be creative or original.

On the other hand a lot of women/girls are shallow and often insecure as hell and with a "hey beautiful" they'll get back to you as soon as they can.

[hela1110]

Say, Hi ur profile attracted me so I'd love to know u...
Don't be a simp not too long not too short

[TheAnonInTheMachine]

Just to calibrate the answer. Are you among the ones who consider a "Hello" (with the built-in expectation to receive a "Hello" in return and build from there) worthy of unmatching?

(My feeling is you aren't)

If so, what makes your version radically different?

(There are plenty of profiles warning to swipe left or face unmatching if you plan to just say hi)

[AzzaBlue]

Fair enough you say? How about we flip the script and see if women can do better? I find it absolutely laughable that women expect creative messages from blokes when their own profiles do nothing to inspire such creativity. Maybe women should now be expected to make the first move, I mean they can do soooooo much better right?

[MountAverage]

So, who's keeping you from expecting women to make the first move? Good luck with that.

[TheAnonInTheMachine]

Let go of the negativity.

I only meant that as in "it is fair to claim you are bored when nothing interesting happens to you". It's not fair that there is a double standard, but that is how the market of dating works. Reality isn't fair, it just is.

Besides, it is indirectly to my advantage to be challenged to be creative.

I am a bit disappointed so far I only had one girl answer, but it is still early.

My guess is most women on Tinder don't actually know how they would like to be approached but desire to be surprised. They don't feel the need to improve their profile since they get matches anyway. But since they don't know what they would like, they don't include the necessary hints in their profile in order to get fun matches.

The fact that we pickup the slack just contributes to the status quo.

Anyway, that's my suspicion. Would be nice to get some answers of the form: "I included x, y, z in my profile and I wish matches would have noticed and done a, b, c"

[AzzaBlue]

@MountAverage I think that you've misunderstood. This topic is about women complaining about men's lackluster icebreakers. When it comes to complaints my attitude is that you either do something about it, or shut the fuck up. If women can do so much better than how about they show us men how it's done? But I have no illusions that this is going to happen because when it comes to dating, most women are extremely lazy and apathetic.

[AzzaBlue]

As far as I am concerned if a woman is not willing to put any effort in her profile, I will immediately hard swipe left as I refuse to "contribute to the status quo."

[AzzaBlue]

Also what you call negativity, I call passion and standards. I will never accept nor appease laziness.

[TheAnonInTheMachine]

@AzzaBlue I agree with you about standards and swiping left, but I try to keep a good ratio. Not sure what the Tinder god would do to me if I swipe left on more than 70%. Better not anger the Tinder god. Them algorithms can smite you.

Sometimes, I swipe right thinking "meh, whatever, decent enough, I'll figure out if I'm actually interested if we actually match".

As I said, trying to keep somewhere above 30% swipe right.

[AzzaBlue]

Lol, Tinder god.

[TheAnonInTheMachine]

Well there are many algorithmic gods on mount Cloudlimpus. If you anger the gods, the smite you and you get deplatfomed.

[MountAverage]

Why would women have to do that? There's no need for them to. And like you said, you can just swipe left. If they stop getting so many matches and so many messages, they'll have to start putting in more effort. But until then, they simply don't need. That's just how it is. It would be exctly the same if roles were reversed. The blame here is definitely on both sides, men and women. We both play along. Not all of us, obviously (again, men and women).

But a bitter attitude towards the other gender won't help anyone.

[MountAverage]

My general rule has always been: If her profile is creative in some way (text and/or pictures), I'll be creative in my first message and address something in her profile; if her profile is generic, my first message will be generic.

[TheAnonInTheMachine]

Tit of tat works. Though I do enjoy the challenge, maybe a bit too much.

[MountAverage]

Yeah, I felt the same way sometimes.

[rievious]

My opinion is already said by another. But I'd like to point out only 1 girls has responded to your post. But this is on my recommendations so its been seen a lot. Wtf women? Too scared to answer his question?

[Avicenna]

I don’t care since I expect to start the convo anyway

[TheAnonInTheMachine]

Of course, us men usually start the convo. And if there is enough material it's really fun. If not, there are generic fallbacks to use.

But I'm curious why there is so much complaining. If a hello is so subpar to elicit so many complaints, what is actually expected.

[Slartybartfast]

Credit card , expiration date and CV code off the back.

[shalt]

Don't be original, read their profile, make the bst judgement, and try to be funny, make humor, you will win 10x times more, just try to make her giggle over text...