What would you do if you fell in love with your best friend, but you were both married?

[Anonymous]

One of you is verging from the beginning of the friendship with more than friends and tease and flirt with another. And even brag how patient you are while persuing that person for few years.

You would tell your feelings and distance to save your marriage

You wouldn't tell your feelings and distance to save your marriage

You would tell your feelings and continue the friendship at same intensity and closeness

You wouldn't tell your feelings and continue the friendship at same intensity and closeness

Other/explain

[InventorofWarp]

Ooooo, yep, this is me except I'm not married and am FAR younger.
And no, just ignore it and continue as though nothing has changed because really it hasn't.
She has a man so incredible that he asked her for her hand in marriage to spend the rest of her life with him and she said yes, thus, he must be pretty fucking amazing and worth a lot. You, meanwhile, have an amazing friend and someone you can trust with your problems and trust has the best intentions for you and wouldn't take advantage of you at your worst and should continue to return the same.
If you're developing crushes on people you know are off your radar, you're probably not mature enough for something anyway.

[TheSpaceGnome]

My wife would be my best friend, and her presence would be greater.


Thats the simplistic way of saying I'm so picky that the scenario you provided would be impossible.


It's been 35 years now of not finding 1 person like that while actively looking for 25 of those years, if i were to stop looking, I've never bump into one once, let alone twice.


And if by some crap shoot rarity I did, then I have a new friend but I wouldn't view her as a better option because she lacks the already developed history and closeness and security of my wife, and there is no point in trading for a copy at the expense of someone's feelings, I would gain nothing new and lose quite a bit.


And thats without considering love, once you add that it's literally impossible to fall for another person.

[Ninani]

I would start by confiding in my partner and after having shared my feelings and thoughts I would proceed to opening up to my friend about it. I'm polyamorous so how we go from there depends on my friend, but I don't condone infidelity, so he would have to either stay friends, agree with his partner on an open marriage, or leave his partner to be with me.
I would prioritise the relationship I'm already in, so if my friend wants me to leave my partner for him, I would turn him down - unless my marriage was already in bad shape and we wouldn't be able to work it out, or my friend is a better match for me.

[natured]

THIS just can't happen, I wouldn't immagine myself falling for my best friend especially while being married...
It's stupid, it means that you don't even love your partner...
TRUE LOVE doesn't give you any space to fall in love with another guy... FULL LOVE is a 100% complete circle and nobody will fit in there because it's impossible...
And if it happens, it means you're not in love with your current partner.
IT'S SAD
Seek therapy

[coachTanthony]

--------------We all make choices in life. When you get married you devote your life to them. Throughout the marriage feelings or crushes will happen with other people because well there ain't no such thing as "a soulmate." There are multiple people you could have feelings for and it's up to you to follow those feelings when they happen or shut them down. If you are married your duty should be to shut them down best friend or not.

~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

[askandgiveAnswers]

If an open relationship was never an idea. What is possible to not be divorced. Love enough to talk. Living with 1 person is not for many people. Yet, people’s 1 communication stinks, 2 either teeth brushing is bad, attitude stinks, or kissing is terrible, knowing how sex could feel or should, be able to talk and be content and not stand be bashful of what you need out of a relationship or the times you are together, if you want more than 1 position in sex, more locations exciting play time and locations. Outdoor lifestyle possible questions.

[Miristheiss]

A or B.
The key is marriage trumps friends. If you are getting feelings for another person of the opposite sex you cut ties with them and honor your marriage.
Spending time with them is no longer safe for the marriage and you would be betraying your spouse if you keep close contact with someone you are getting feelings for.

[serious]

That will never happen. Not for me. I am incapable of something like falling in love. I simply don't believe in that sentence.

Believe it or not, for me love is highly conditional and is my choice. Hence whatever the situation you have mentioned in your question will never arise.

[Christsdisciple15]

If this were true this would mean I wasn’t being honest or faithful to my partner even on an emotional level, so it would mean I would have to confess this to my husband and either end my marriage, or try and work past it. And as for my friend, I think I would tell him the truth but I wouldn’t expect him to end his relationship… so I would have to just move past it and continue being his friend from a distance.

[Jamie05rhs]

You don't end your marriage for something like that. You confess and apologize, and you work hard to make your relationship better.

[Christsdisciple15]

yes definitely I agree that’s why I said either or, because I know of many that would feel like they have to end the marriage in that situation

[Interstate]

In these situations, it is best to just let those deep feelings past, and in the future avoid any "uncharted waters" that could lead you to the shores of "dangerous territory".

[Asker]

Something like this never happened to me before. And now i avoid any man that tries to communicate closer than some small talks. But this lasts for 6 years now... and now he admitted that he was steering all this friendship to where we are. So he purposely led me to fall in love with him.

[Interstate]

Yeah it's time then to dump him off by the side of the road and RUN.

[1EVDriver]

The person your married to is supposed to be your best friend. Falling in love with another is a forum of cheating or having an affair - do the right thing and stop waistline the time of your current partner they deserve that much

[PI3T3R]

If it's a growing thing I would do a double date with all parties present and share my truth feelings.
Truth is something really powerful especially if it done from the start of relationship

The people involved will be open for open relationship with all parties involved hence they are my friends and parent.

[Sincerly_KittyCat]

Put distance between each other and try not to be alone with one another. You've already committed your life to someone why go back against your word. That's a trifling and evil thing to do if you pursue this.

[akvalleygirl]

If you can't have this "friendship" in front of your spouse, then there's something else going on here. Don't bee foolish. Would you be okay if she had this same kind of friendship with another man? That will answer your question.

[exitseven]

I had to read this over because I didn't understand it. I would tell my best friend that we had to stop being so close because we are married to other people.

[Account]

Mind my own fucking business. I would get over it and let him live happily with his wife.

[Account]

As for myself I will never get married so that is not an issue for me.

[Anonymous]

get mental help because if you're married and are in love with someone else you need to figure your sh*t out, get a couples counselor, or get a divorce.

[KrakenAttackin]

Yet one more reason why opposite gender "friends" is not a good thing.

[Asker]

I never in my life had an opposite gender friend. I never wanted this to happen. I know it's a mess. I know i'm just asking for someone to tell me it's ok to remain friends and that we can stay within the boundaries of "just friends" despite our feelings. That someone say that as long as it's not physical it's okay. I don't want anyone to go through what i'm going through. It's so easy to judge others, i've done it myself so many times. Now i'm the one being judged for something i never wanted to happen and no one to blame for but myself. I was the one being week when i had to be strong and say: "no, that's not what i want, i don't need your friendship" and just move on.

[KrakenAttackin]

No, it's not OK to remain friends.

[KrakenAttackin]

What if your husband were in a similar circumstance would you want him to remain "friends" with her?

[Asker]

I know. This is just asking for excuses... that is what i said. I know what i have to do, but it's hard to do it, but i will do it because of my kids

[askandgiveAnswers]

I live in open relationship, so this is a bit different.

[akvalleygirl]

You know you're playing with fire here. All 3 of you will eventually be hurt in some way. You took a vow, honor that vow. 3 is a crowd, be smart, this "friend" could cost you a lot.

[Jamie05rhs]

Your best friend should be your spouse. You shouldn't even have "best friends" of the opposite gender.

[Fion3il]

wtf, disagree lol. Whats wrong with a having a different gendered best friend?

[Jamie05rhs]

@Fion3il I would venture to ask why that person is your best friend.

[Fion3il]

Because they are? best friends aren't gendered they are just your closest friend. And if that happens to be a girl or boy whoever you like what about it?

[Jamie05rhs]

@Fion3il Then marry her. If she's really your best friend.

[Jamie05rhs]

Do you know why most guys (including me) don't marry their best friends?
Because they have dicks. That's why.
If I had a best friend with a vagina I'd marry her in a heartbeat.

[Fion3il]

but what if I dont like her like that? I just wanna be best friends whats wrong with that

[Fion3il]

I mean there's a lot of gay people with guy best friends they dont go around marrying all the time

[akvalleygirl]

@Fion3il Have you ever seen the movie "When Harry Met Sally" ?

[Jamie05rhs]

"but what if I dont like her like that? I just wanna be best friends whats wrong with that"

@Fion3il You shouldn't give your heart and soul to a woman that you're not even attracted to. That's not fair to her or yourself.

[Fion3il]

@akvalleygirl nope

[Fion3il]

But we just want to be friends... even if we are the opposite gender. It doesn't make a difference it is fair I don't know wym lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@Fion3il So you want to fuck some other girl but be best friends with this one?

[Fion3il]

why not

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. How do you think she will feel about that?

And how do you think the other girl will feel when she wants to have a relationship with you but you already have an emotional bond with another woman so you can't give her your whole self?

[Fion3il]

I think she would be fine with it since we are both friends. and I dont think I wouldn't be able to give her my whole self because I have a women as my best friend? That makes no sense

[Jamie05rhs]

Alright, dude. Whatever...

[Fion3il]

yeah this will go on forever. Have a good one, hope you find someone!

[akvalleygirl]

@Fion3il So are you married? You would be totally cool if your wife's best friend was some dude? Would you believe he didn't have any sexual interestest in your wife at all, because they are "just friends"?

[Fion3il]

@akvalleygirl im not married obv but if my future partners best friend was a dude I wouldn't have problems with it. It might make me jealous sometimes but if I trusted my partner and him then it would be fine. And considering its my partners best friend and im married to my partner, I would hope I would trust them. And he might be attracted to my partner but I dont think he would want to have sex with my partner, considering we would be married. My partners friend is my friend too.

[akvalleygirl]

@Fion3il You should marry your best friend. Another man should not be best friends with your wife, that should be reserved for only you. Same, the other way around, what's the point of committing yourself to wedding vows if there will always be a third wheel?

[Jamie05rhs]

@akvalleygirl I agree with you 100%.

[Fion3il]

@akvalleygirl I just disagree I think thats stupid. It doesn't matter what gender a best friend is, they are a best friend.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Foin3il I think you're missing the point. The whole point of a romantic LTR is that that person is your best friend.

[Fion3il]

i understand you view it that way. But I view it as my partner is not classified as a friend, they are my lover. If I would classify them as a friend they would be my best friend. But they are above friends in general. So I would still have a lover and a best friend.

[akvalleygirl]

@Fion3il That's a very interesting way to think. But how do you have a relationship with a partner as just a lover? Do you not do other friendly things together? The same things I do with my friends I can do with my husband, but we both benefit from being lovers in the bedroom. It's the best of both worlds.

[Fion3il]

@akvalleygirl ig I just see doing the same activitys with them as different. Its different going to a park with your partner then it is with your best friend. I dont really know how to put it into words

[Supernormal]

Break up with him before your spouce finds out, cos you’re already cheating.

[Anonymous]

quit acting like a fucking whore and learn how to stay faithful it'll help in the longrun

[akvalleygirl]

This!

[Anonymous]

Id fucked her brains out and go about my week... til i needed some more.

[Mac-One]

Continue in your marriages but remain friends

[akvalleygirl]

Only if your spouse is aware of this "close friendship" otherwise you are playing with fire.

[havingfun101]

I am my best friend

[CantGetItUp]

Call the cops