Does ignoring a guy REALLY make him love you?

[Anonymous]

I keep getting told, ignore him, let him come to you, show him you HAVE a life, don't cater to him...the list goes on and on with excuses and reasons and examples of how and why to play games in order to GET the man you want to love you.

Is this true?

If I just STOP texting and caling him, will he want me more> because I think that's way too complicated. If I wana text him, I should be able to, and if he don't like me, then cool...who cares...next...RIGHT?!?! why play hard to get? does it really work?

[Tamikaze]

The truth to any advice along these lines is not about playing games. It is about not going down the wrong path that makes you look boring and not the girl for someone.

1st-Nothing can make a guy fall in love with you, but there are lots of things you can do to lose a guy's interest, and being overly available, 100% focused on him or, worse, bugging the heck out of him with constant calls and texts when he is not even your boyfriend will send most men running.

2nd-If you have had a regular flow of texting and calls with a guy you will just look like you lost interest if you suddenly stop all of that. Now, if you are overdoing it, you should consider slowing it down. You are overdoing contact when the guy never gets the chance to be the one to initiate contact. If it is always you initiating, he either is not that interested, or you are far outpacing him.

3rd-Don't play games, don't play hard to get. Hard to get is irritating. Just don't do the opposite and overwhelm a guy. You should not be waiting around the phone for his calls, you should not stop hanging with friends and family afraid you won't be available for him. If a guy is really interested in you, he will call in advance for dates and won't expect you to drop everything to see him.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I think that only works if nothing else is working or sometimes if it's an ex that's being super stubborn/prideful

[Asker]

agreed

[Mesonfielde]

I've heard the exact same thing if you swap the genders.

An old question of mine: link

Don't ignore him, but don't always be there.

The prior interest and a minimal amount of unfulfilledness and frustration (as in what is created by mind games, for example) are necessary to create the emotion of "love", however by conscious control it's possible you'll end up ignoring him too much and he'll lose interest or just won't make a move thinking you would reject him and never talk to him again.

[Dareon]

That's a way how mess somebody who's obsessed or desperate, or make somebody who's insecure in one of those, but not a way for an honest, healthy relationship.

If a girl ignores me I translate it as she's not interested in me so why should I waste my time on her if she never shows any initiative?

Maybe such thing could work on some guys but for me it's a total deal-breaker.

[Anonymous]

Best way to never hear from someone again. It will confuse me for a while but I'll guarantee no matter how much I liked you, I will be out of your life for good. I have done that to women who tried that with me before & I'm sure I'm not the only guy with that attitude.

I also enjoy it when they try to get my attention & now it's my turn to ignore them back

[TylerMMA]

On the contrary, if a girl doesn't show she is interested in me I lose interest in her.

[Asker]

exactly...its like guys wana work for it, just not THAT hard

[TylerMMA]

no, for me its that I am not willing to be the only one putting any effort in.

[Asker]

ya, that's how I feel. I am totaly in love with this dude, but its like he is lazy or something. he wants ME to do all the work and chase him, but I'm so tired of it. I want to feel like he wants me too but he is one of those "dont show my feelings" kinda guys...it sux...so, I'm about to just give up

[TylerMMA]

Maybe he just doesn't feel the same way about you.

[Asker]

probably not...but he shouldn't lead me on either...oh well...theres more. thanks :)

[TylerMMA]

Im sorry. better luck next time though! :)

[Asker]

lol ya, its been almost a year...what a waste...thats what I don't get about some people too, girls and guys, they keep people around for comfort or easy access to sex, when they really don't give a crap about them...i don't stay with people I don't care about. not worth my time,but ya, better luck next time :)

[Anonymous]

No! You can't make people love you. Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit. :p

[Anonymous]

Simple answer? Yes. It really works.

[Asker]

thats so lame...

[Opinion Owner]

You don't have to play that game. But my dating life changed drastically when I started. Those same guys who wanted nothing to do with me (started ignoring my calls), literally call me at least once a week now saying I am "The one" and they want to marry me. I'm not kidding nor exaggerating. My current boyfriend is hotter/more confident/treats me better than any guy I could've dreamed of landing before.

[Asker]

really? that's awesome! I just want ONE guy...hes been coming back to me for almost a year and I am totally in love with him but it seems he just wants me to chase him and I'm getting tired of it...im tired of chasing, I'm tired of the games...i love him, but its just to much work

[Opinion Owner]

Then it's not really a game if you back off. You just simply respect yourself enough not to be the only one doing the work. Trust me, it's human nature for both guys and girls. If you back off, and suddenly he can't count on you chasing, he'll start chasing you.

[Asker]

ok, good advice, thanks :)

[Shaun]

Quite the opposite.

[Asker]

you know what's stupid...is allll the WOMEN who write books and give advice on men. when they are a WOMAN! so annoying!

so you and one other man have had 2 completely different answers than the women on here...women say yes, men say no...

women are dumb sometimes

soooo, you like it when women chase you?

[Shaun]

I'm not a game player. When a woman makes a move on me I'll let her know right away if I'm interested or not. And I'm never rude about it. Life's too short.

[Asker]

do you have a Girlfriend or wife? because I seen you a lot reply to a lot of peoples stuff and you seem like a great catch...not too many people who DONT play games these days. it drives me Cruzy/ lol

[Shaun]

lol I'm separated and far from perfect. But thank you. : )