One should always assume that retail employees are doing their job even if they are being flirty. But sometimes things feel different.
About two months ago, I went to the supermarket to buy some groceries. I stopped to get some fish. The fishmonger was called out from the back and he was hot.
I told him what I wanted in the local dialect and he started to prepare my order. He was essentially silent but pleasant and smiley. I noticed he had a tat of a crown on his ring finger.
I was speaking with my son in English while he prepared my fish and I busied myself with items on the shelf behind me so I wouldn't stare at him.
He finished up, handed me my fish then I left. It was thoroughly uneventful and I never gave him any thought at all afterwards.
Fast forward 1.5 months later, I was in to shop for a few things and decided to stop by to see if there was anything worth purchasing in the fish area.
When I came, the same fishmonger was there. He remembered me instantly and was really ecstatic to see me and was smiling widely and looking deep into my eyes. This surprised me a bit. 😯
There wasn't anything that I wanted available. As I was looking at the fish, I could feel his gaze trained on me and he was standing squarely facing me with his arms wide open.
I kept my eyes down out of shyness. Then I don't know what possessed me but I pointed to his tat and blurted out that I didn't like it.
He immediately took up a knife and pretended to scrape it off which made me laugh.
I took one last scan of the fish while avoiding his eyes since he was just staring at me smiling. We said bye and I left.
I felt a bit funny after but chalked it up to customer service. I don't go there often. It seemed to me he really wanted to make an impression on me.
Am I reading too much into it or was he seriously flirting with me?
Was this good customer service or serious flirting?
Fair point. I am in a culture where tattooing is majorly frowned upon so it wasn't rude in my part in the society I'm in. I'm old enough to know when someone wants to send me a message with their eyes. He was absolutely flirting with me.
Yes, that's how they flirt. With the whole eye contact thing. That's why I was looking down. I was here avoiding a different fishmonger and this one starts up too.
@zeitgeist057 lolllll literally no offense at all to this dermal punch lady but everything about this post seems so ridiculous I have to remind myself someone looking at me doesn’t mean they want to date me lmaoo.,.. especially those in customer service. Most people who work in customer service often feel more comfortable with middle aged women with children, and will be friendlier to them. Seems like this one legit thought his friendly customer service was flirting and got her hopes up so high that she’s been contemplating the meaningless interaction seriously enough to post it on here… low key sad
@Ccheeto99 one person's flirting is another person's being friendly. I know I have been in situations where it seemed like a service personnel was being flirty, but then I realized they are just being this way to provide good service because it's more fun that way. And I have also had an experience like a while back with my sister, when we left a place she asked me why the cashier was flirting with me so hard when I hadn't noticed a thing. I agree though, it seems sometimes when you have a fishmonger fetish, you start fantasizing that your dreams are reality lol.
It's also true about middle aged or older people. I know lots of girls who are total flirts with old men, but not because they are trying to get with old men, it's because they know how easy it is to make the old men feel good and it's not going to go anywhere; you hold all the power. I have done the same thing with older women that I have really no attraction to, but it's nice to flirt with them and let them feel good.
@zeitgeist057 @ccheeto99 I know you both are having a big old laugh about it and pity me whuch is fine. You only know me from what's on the screen so you are just extrapolating. Getting hit on by store staff happens to me a lot and I have had more than a few retail staff eventually ask me out. One situation got intense and I had to avoid that store to let things cool down. All those situations started just like this. So that's why I asked. 💝
@DermalPunch I'm glad you can take it all in good humor, and no offense meant. I don't think you are pathetic or feel pity, it's just a funny situation especially as you hop from fishmonger to fishmonger; hopefully you find the one you like lol. It sounds like shopping is quite an adventure for you!
Also, I wasn't asking why you are asking, I was summating the irony of the conversation up to that point.
I think that he likely is taken. do you really think a guy who is completely single and looking for love, would put a TATTOO ring on his ring finger? If he did that, there is likely some meaning behind the tattoo. A lot of "taken guys" fuck around behind their girlfriend/ wives backs. Likely this will be the case if you get with him.
Go back to the supermarket and talk to him. YOU ask him out. If he accepts, he likely will never leave his wife. Think about why he decided to tattoo his ring finger rather than to wear a wedding band that he can easily take off?"
@shaysh87 yes, he very well could be. However, plenty of people have tattoos for people or relationships that are over. I have no intention of asking anyone out. I wouldn't do it it if his ring finger was bare.
you're just trying to get our hopes up. If he were truly single and looking for love, he would try his best to get his goddam tattoo erased. The fact that decided to opt for a tattoo instead of a ring (that he can't just take off), shows his dedication to his wife.
I have seen plenty of guys in committed relationships / married men hit on me or try to sleep with me. So you better be careful. Just because a guy may sleep with you, it does not mean he's interested in you.
@shaysh87 skin ink is no indication of one's dedication to a relationship. I think you are speculating way too much. I don't know how I am getting my hopes up when I've said I have no intention of pursuing anything. I was actually shopping here to avoid another grocery store employee situation, ironically enough. I was stalked by a married man so I am well aware of how disrespectful people can be to their partners and relationships. I mean this is a non situation in my life. I just was seeing what people thought about the event.
i have seen guys who wear tattoos in replacement of wedding rings. Frequently married men take off their wedding rings when they cheat. If a married man is willing to tattoo his ring on his finger, it means he wants the world to know he is married.
would you date a guy , who is still wearing his wedding ring?
would you date a guy, who says he's looking for love, but not remove his wedding band tattoo?
you ARE trying to get your hopes up. because you clearly are trying to delude yourself into believing his wedding band doesn't matter.
Being jovial to regulars is all apart of the job, because the most sales come from repeated customers. When I was a deli worker, I would remember our regulars and their orders while cracking jokes with them.
Another thing, until you walk away, it's normal for us to watch you, especially if you're lingering at the counter because you might want something else. If the store environment or the equipment is loud, it's normal for us to lean in to hear you.
What's going on is, you have a crush on him which is why you're remember interactions from months ago and comparing them; it's the reason why you're overanalyzing his actions and words. You like him. If he were ugly, and did the exact same actions, you wouldn't think twice about him. Take a deep breath and think logically.
Also, crown tattoos symbolize honor toward a loved one; it could be someone who passed away or a spouse; he's great for turning your insult into a joke.
I am not a regular custimer and he is the one who remembered me. I had long forgotten about him in the month and half that I had not visited the store.
The only reason he is now sticking out in my mind is because of how he came way up to me and was staring me down to the point that I felt shy.
I was just comparing his demeanour the first time and the second time. God forbid one reflects on past events.
I didn't insult his tattoo. I said I didn't like it. Also, I am in a place where tattooing is very very frowned upon and it wasn't at all inappropriate to comment.
Going to a store more than once makes you a regular lol
You started feeling shy because you like him.
You're overanalyzing two visits to the grocery store because a guy is cute.
You're right. 'Insulting' is too strong of a word. However, if tattooing is greatly frowned upon on your area, then it must be very important to him. Ask about it next time you see him. It'll be a nice conversation starter.
It sounds like he was just a jovial guy too me. He was probably just having a better than usual day. You're thankful when you get friendly customers when you're in the customer service field as so many people are not friendly.
Dude 😂 Yeah, reading too much in to it. I have done a lot of retail work theast 6 years and it makes my skin crawl when customers think I'm flirting when 99% I'm just being really nice because I need to for my job.
Yes, this is true. But people aren't all that different. And in my experience, men who flirt with women who have a kid with them are never looking for a relationship. They want to have an illicit affair or use you for sex. Anywau, I did have to go back and he wasn't there. The way the other fishmongers treated me left me with no doubt that he was more than just flirting but making his interest very very clear. Also, I did find it a bit odd that the other fishmonger, who I had never dealt with before, knew what I wanted to order before I asked.
I think you're just reading a bit too much into it. He probably does the same to other customers and customer service jobs sometimes can be a bit boring during dry hours and whenever they see a customer they might act that way.
Yes, men are notorious for flirting as a pastime. I don't think I am. The funny thing is that I went to get fish at this supermarket because it got awkward at a different supermarket because of another fishmonger wanting to date me. That started with the same type of little teasing and eye gazing. Then I go to this market and the same thing. Uuuuuggggh.
When someone stares down into your soul and doesn't take their eyes off you for even one second smiling from ear to ear and leans in as close as they can isn't flirting. Alright.
I wasn't. But then bouncing it off of people gives one a different perspective sometimes. That's what can happen when you discuss things with people. Crazy, I know.
You were there, we weren't. If it was flirting, then you probably ruined your chances by insulting his tattoo. Then again, if it's just customer service, that insult made you look pretty bad. Next time, why not just ask for his number to see if there's a chance?
I didinsult his tattoo. I just said I didn't like it. It made him like me more, actually. I am in a culture where tattoing is seen as forbidden so it was no biggie. No, I can't make a move. Then I will be treated as a loose woman. It's a bit backwards here. I don't want to get involved anyway.
Girls Like to FLIRT, if they are good at it. Don't ever take that seriously... they are just trying to "Get you" and put another point on the scoreboard...
Thanks for weighing in. I don't want to pursue anything. Last time this happened it worked out badly. Another customer service situation almost ended in marriage but went wayyyy south. I'm just keeping a low profile.
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